To do, and pursue.

  • rexinfx

    Posts: 23

    Jun 12, 2008 6:42 AM GMT
    edit for embarassment, a lot of you got the wrong idea.
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    Jun 12, 2008 7:29 AM GMT
    You are USING his sister?!

    It's 'having fun' for you, but she went out of the way to ask if you had any strings attached.

    Respect, man, icon_neutral.gif and Honesty.
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    Jun 12, 2008 2:22 PM GMT
    rexinfx said

    "Are you gay and/or seeing anyone? If not we should hang out".

    Opinions please:


    That part seemed odd. Maybe she wants to hang with you or maybe she is asking on behalf of her brother or someone else. But you should not hang with her for the sole reason of hooking up with her brother. Thats wrong. If she wants to be your friend and you want her as a friend than go for it. But do not use her for her brother.

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    Jun 12, 2008 2:36 PM GMT
    A caveat to the "you should not hang out with her just to get with her brother". She sounds like a total fag hag. If that is the case it is your duty as a fag to treat her like shit and use her just to get to her brother. Not only is it your duty, it is the moral thing to do.

    Go get 'em.
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    Jun 12, 2008 2:46 PM GMT
    I am kinda on the side of munching. And all you queens that preach only the absolute moral highroad (and likely only take it for yourself on occasion) can slam me all you want.

    If she wants to get to know you, pretty much knowing that you are gay (otherwise she would not have asked) than she should be up for what comes of it. Go for what you want, but I would think you might just not lead her down the sex path. It won't get you any closer to her brother. It might do the opposite. There is nothing wrong with getting to know someone to get to another person. Personally the note is kinda lame. If she really wanted you she would have walked up to you and asked. Hang out with her, boink her brother and then talk all about it with her one night over appletinis. Get em tiger.
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    Jun 12, 2008 3:00 PM GMT
    Tell her, yes , you are gay, roll the dice and ask if her brother is seeing anyone. Put the ball in her court. And tell her that you would enjoy being a friend to her. It's a compliment to anyone.
  • Squarejaw

    Posts: 1035

    Jun 12, 2008 4:11 PM GMT
    This is wrong. Stop and think about her feelings.
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    Jun 12, 2008 4:57 PM GMT
    The note reads:
    "Are you gay and/or seeing anyone? If not we should hang out".

    As I parse the note, it would seem to me to ask the following set of conditions:

    "Are you: (a) gay and seeing anyone, (or) (b) gay, (or) (c) seeing anyone?"

    Since you would seem to be gay (or at least bi-), I would assume that the answer to that question is a "yes" (i.e. matching condition (c)).

    The note then states:

    "If NOT (my emphasis) we should hang out."

    Since the answer to the first question appears to be in the affirmative, I would think that since you do not meet the critera of the second sentence, you would decline the invitation. Am I reading/parsing/interpreting the first sentence wrong?
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    Jun 12, 2008 5:00 PM GMT
    Luckydog76 saidTell her, yes , you are gay, roll the dice and ask if her brother is seeing anyone. Put the ball in her court. And tell her that you would enjoy being a friend to her. It's a compliment to anyone.


    lucky is right on the money. honesty across the board.
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    Jun 12, 2008 5:17 PM GMT
    I'm with the guy above me on this. Did you tell her you were gay? She did ask along with also "seeing someone" and made it clear if these two things are NOT ( notice the word NOT) happening in your life then she would like to hang out.

    I respect women when they do this. To me she is implying she wants to "date" or get to know you better but wanted to make sure in advance you weren't gay or dating someone of the opposite sex. It was a fair question and deserves a fair answer.

    I don't think she was being insulting by asking if you are gay and since the gay part was a no go for her I don't see her looking for a fag to be his hag. I guess the note might fall under the category of lame but given the age ( I'm guessing she's close to your age which I see is 18 ) a note over this issue does make a bit more since. As she gets older she'll just come right out face to face and ask these questions.

    Please respect her request and don't use her thinking you are going to get closer to her brother. Maybe if you are completely honest with her you can suggest you'd like to be platonic friends with her.

    Honestly, if I were her brother and found out you had not respected her initial questions just so that you could meet me I would be very pissed. It wouldn't matter if I were gay or if I were attracted to you. I'm sure my sister would be hurt and feel played and there would be no way I could date a guy she "might" have been interested in based on him not fully disclosing the truth about his life when she took the time to ask in advance.

    Don't play with people like this. At some point in your life it will come full circle. You've accepted her sexual invitation? Are you kidding? Just to meet her brother? TACKY!!! You need to stop right now and step in her shoes. Someone may totally lie to you and use you to get closer to someone you know and when it happens don't ever question why if you continue doing this to her. Don't ever forget.. You get out of life exactly what you put into it.
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    Jun 12, 2008 5:19 PM GMT
    rexinfx saidSO.. I've got an awesome story, and a couple questions.

    I work at a place where there are two separate businesses, mine being smaller and more professional, and the other being a retail business.

    When I'm at work, I people watch all day into that retail store. I see employees over and over again, and some good looking customers. There's this guy who works at their store who makes me warm everytime I see him.

    Keeping that in mind, I recieved a note yesterday at work that said...

    "Are you gay and/or seeing anyone? If not we should hang out".

    I know where you think this is going, but this note is actually from someone else. The note was from his SISTER! I hung out with her and a couple friends tonight, and she really wants on. Me, having fun, accepted her sexual invitation and I'm planning to spend more time with her this weekend.

    I'm really thinking about what I could do with this situation. I really, really, really want to meet her brother.

    Opinions please:



    I smell trouble....manipulation.....lack of being straighforward, and a lot of hurt feelings
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    Jun 12, 2008 5:42 PM GMT
    KissingPro said
    I smell trouble....manipulation.....lack of being straighforward, and a lot of hurt feelings


    What he said.
    Every move here is your choice, rex. You have no duty other than to your own honor, because at the end of the day that is all you have that is your own. You could: use her; you could embrace your duty as a fag and treat her like shit; you could be honest with her, but no matter what your choice the opinion's of others will shift, just remember that it is your opinion of yourself that matters.
    That is, if you're an asshat and feel no wrong in it, the cries of your fellows won't matter.
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    Jun 12, 2008 5:54 PM GMT
    Here's a thought experiment.

    rexinfx has a hot sister. A guy that rexinfx works with, who's pretty good looking himself, says, "hey rexinfx, we should hang out sometime." rexinfx thinks, 'Wow, hot damn.' rexinfx and hot guy make plans to get together and hot guy mentions, "Oh yeah, btw, invite your sister along too!" rexinfx, because he's a smart guy, realizes what's going on and feels like ___________?

    A. a tool for being played
    B. decking the guy
    C. a vengeful fcuk who will make sure his sister knows what a tool hot guy is
    D. some combination or all of the above
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    Jun 12, 2008 6:10 PM GMT
    Douche
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    Jun 12, 2008 6:19 PM GMT
    OK. This sounds like a bad idea from the start.

    The note is from the sister who apparently thinks you are hot but you have a crush on her brother and might I add you aren't even sure if he is gay or str8.

    So you would be willing to use his sister in order to get to know him in what would seem like a waste of time since you know nothing about this guy other then the fact that he makes you melt. If that isn't a daytime soap plot then I don't know what is. This has disaster written all over it.

    You are jupming the gun and willing to use someone else's emotions to get what you want. That's wrong. Why don't you man up and talk to the guy and just tell the sister that you aren't, or rather she isn't, your type but her brother is. That sort of unnderhanded and malicious attitude is what gives a men in general and especially gay men a bad rep and it justifies why some people don't like dealing with gays.

    Grow a pair, tell the sister what the deal is and don't play silly mind games. That kinda stuff will eventually turn on you and you'll be left feeling low. Have some honor and dignity, dude.
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    Jun 12, 2008 6:32 PM GMT
    One other thing. I guess what hits me the most with all of this is that this girl/woman actually took the time to cover her bases and you didn't respect that.

    What Rexinfx needs to do now to smooth this all over is on Friday suddenly get the flu. IMMEDIATELY cancel his plans he's made with her for the weekend. Call her on Sunday. Request a time to talk and then apologize for not being completely open. End this childish game. The thing is, this is not just trying to get at a friend of a friend of hers. This is family.

    I personally think he's already blown it trying to meet the brother. He is going to learn a lot of lessons about this whole situation. If he's closeted she'll make damn sure EVERYONE and their neighbor knows what he's up to. Because this all started at work it's going to play itself out at work as well.

    Unfortunately life isn't like a cute scripted movie as guy101 suggested ( I liked that) where the boy who likes the boy uses the sister to get to the brother and when it all comes out everyone says... awwww, isn't that cute.

    The reality is the sister will be mortified she was used when she asked in advance. The brother ( who's sexuality isn't even known ) will be dealing with a sister who is livid her brother slept with or played along with the game that a guy she was seeing initiated. Thats even if the brother responds to all of this. If he does the brother will more than likely side with family and drop the pathetic tool that used all of them in his fun game of chess to meet someone.

    As it stands right now Rexinfx has already laid the foundation for one fucked up situation that he will regret. If he didn't want to tell her he was gay he needed to make up some other excuse to make it clear he was not available to her. Then he needed to grow a pair and find out about the brother if he was intrigued with him.

    Take the good advice offered and stop this shit now. You blew it! Learn from this.
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    Jun 12, 2008 6:34 PM GMT
    Just like a daytime soap. LOL.
    Que the suspense music.

    Reality is never as cute and somewhat understanding as those types of shows but given the way he explained it it sure as hell sounded like one though. LOL.
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    Jun 12, 2008 6:37 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidJust like a daytime soap. LOL.
    Que the suspense music.


    icon_smile.gif I thought it was great because thats what I was actually thinking. His game is nothing but an illusion. It all sounds cute and fluffy but life isn't like that. I give him a reprieve because of his age thinking this could all work in his favor but DAMN is he going to learn a hard lesson if he plays this out.
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    Jun 12, 2008 6:41 PM GMT
    Sometimes the best lessons learned are usualy given hard.

    His age is a slight facotr in this but for the most part I'm gonna chalk it up as someone who's just being selfish and rather inconsiderate. No one ever thinks of the consequences when doing things like this.

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    Jun 12, 2008 8:04 PM GMT
    Interesting situation...

    OK there are a couple of scenerios that could play-out here:

    Option 1 - you actually get to go-out with her brother after using her and then summarily dumping her.

    Option 2 - you use her to get to her brother, then dump her and her brother kicks your butt for toying with his sister - and you never go out with him.

    Option 3 - you come clean with her - that you are more interested in her brother, she accepts that, becomes a friend and helps set you up with her brother.

    To me the choice seems pretty obvious...