Guilt over attraction to straight friends or coworkers?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 6:24 PM GMT
    Do you ever feel guilty because a straight friend turns you on? How's about a coworker or worse a subordinate that you have the hots for? I know sometimes it makes interactions feel VERY uncomfortable for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 6:26 PM GMT
    Why would you feel guilty about that?
  • tiddlypush

    Posts: 43

    Dec 17, 2011 6:32 PM GMT
    to be quite honest,yes. i do feel guilty now that i am older (60). i never felt guilty like about 10 years ago.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 6:36 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR saidWhy would you feel guilty about that?


    Uh, doing naughty things to a friend against his will?

    Kinda makes me wonder about the old question about whether (straight men) and women can ever really just be friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 6:38 PM GMT
    Nope. Perfectly natural and nothing to feel guilty about. I admire and lust from afar and don't let the one-sided attraction distract, derail or other wise jeopardize my working relationship.

    Nothing wrong with enjoying some eye candy and getting a sugar rush from it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 6:40 PM GMT
    swimguychicago said
    Larkin_PLR saidWhy would you feel guilty about that?


    Uh, doing naughty things to a friend against his will?

    Kinda makes me wonder about the old question about whether (straight men) and women can ever really just be friends.


    Yes, straight men and women can be friends.

    It's called having self control and self realization that some things aren't gonna happen. Nothing wrong with dreaming though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 6:47 PM GMT
    swimguychicago said
    Larkin_PLR saidWhy would you feel guilty about that?


    Uh, doing naughty things to a friend against his will?

    Kinda makes me wonder about the old question about whether (straight men) and women can ever really just be friends.


    You didn't say I would be raping them... Lusting after them is no big deal though.

    And no... they can't be.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 6:48 PM GMT
    swimguychicago said
    Larkin_PLR saidWhy would you feel guilty about that?


    Uh, doing naughty things to a friend against his will?

    Kinda makes me wonder about the old question about whether (straight men) and women can ever really just be friends.

    Uhm, if you pursue someone against their will it means you have little to no self control... Especially if you don't see the writing on the wall that it will never happen between you two.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    It's just an attraction; happens all the time. I go through it at work. I have crushes on 2 of my co-workers but am I ashamed? Nah lol. As long as it doesn't get too extreme (as in stalker extreme), let the crush grow and die.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    uh, i wish there was someone to feel attracted to at my workplace. sadly, it seems they dont make hot professional economists anymore...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 6:53 PM GMT
    TrevorMark said
    swimguychicago said
    Larkin_PLR saidWhy would you feel guilty about that?


    Uh, doing naughty things to a friend against his will?

    Kinda makes me wonder about the old question about whether (straight men) and women can ever really just be friends.

    Uhm, if you pursue someone against their will it means you have little to no self control... Especially if you don't see the writing on the wall that it will never happen between you two.


    Since I specified STRAIGHT friends or coworkers, I was obviously talking about fantasy and NOT pursuing them. Why would anyone feel guilt about asking someone out and being turned down?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 6:55 PM GMT
    swimguychicago said
    TrevorMark said
    swimguychicago said
    Larkin_PLR saidWhy would you feel guilty about that?


    Uh, doing naughty things to a friend against his will?

    Kinda makes me wonder about the old question about whether (straight men) and women can ever really just be friends.

    Uhm, if you pursue someone against their will it means you have little to no self control... Especially if you don't see the writing on the wall that it will never happen between you two.


    Since I specified STRAIGHT friends or coworkers, I was obviously talking about fantasy and NOT pursuing them. Why would anyone feel guilt about asking someone out and being turned down?

    Why would you feel guilt for FANTASIZING unless it was actually something gross or forbidden on many levels instead of just gay/straight?

    Better question.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 6:59 PM GMT
    sitr7 saiduh, i wish there was someone to feel attracted to at my workplace. sadly, it seems they dont make hot professional economists anymore...


    Buddy, I don't know where you went to school, but I would so do many of my class mates! Not every economist looks like Martin Feldstein! In fact, if he were 20 years younger, I think Schiller at Yale could be kinda hot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 7:00 PM GMT
    The lead mechanic at my job is hot. I mean HAWT. Married with two kids. He knows I think he's a stud, as does his wife, and they rather enjoy that fact. Great friends of mine as well. No guilt icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 7:08 PM GMT
    swimguychicago said
    sitr7 saiduh, i wish there was someone to feel attracted to at my workplace. sadly, it seems they dont make hot professional economists anymore...


    Buddy, I don't know where you went to school, but I would so do many of my class mates! Not every economist looks like Martin Feldstein! In fact, if he were 20 years younger, I think Schiller at Yale could be kinda hot.


    i hear you. i went to oxford, and i'd do a few of mine. all the hot ones seem to stay in academia though... none venture out into the corporate world apparently...
  • greekguy79

    Posts: 112

    Dec 17, 2011 7:10 PM GMT
    I'm not sure if guilt's the right word, but yeah, I do have that thought of "wow, if this dude only knew what I'm thinking right now..."

    I totally second that feeling of discomfort. There's a coworker of mine who's a really nice-looking dude, and he's a nice guy to boot.

    And I feel like any time I'm around him, I'm almost too tense to just be normal. Seems like anything I say has to be calculated, so I don't make an ass of myself. So it's pretty uncomfortable in that sense. (Certainly not all the time though, but it does happen often)

    That's just my reaction to beautiful people, or successful people in general. I feel like I have to say the right thing or do the right thing, so that I don't appear the fool.

    Pretty exhausting, at times.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 7:13 PM GMT
    You hit the nail on the head. (I just thought about that, and the double entendre was unconscious.)
  • greekguy79

    Posts: 112

    Dec 17, 2011 7:17 PM GMT
    Suuuuuure it was..... icon_smile.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 7:29 PM GMT
    I think you have figure out why you're friends with the guy. If what makes you want to be friends or remain friends with the guy is your attraction to him, you might be setting yourself for disaster because at some point, you're going to want to act on those feelings. And holding back feelings of attraction indefinitely is hard, pun intended. The best way to remedy this is to find another guy or guys to get your rocks off with so that you can be friends without the distraction.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 7:38 PM GMT
    Depends on whether or not you can't control your compulsion to rub one out in your cubicle after meetings.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 7:59 PM GMT
    I notice the guys at work. I wouldn't say I have a crush on anyone, but one guy I entereact with occassioanlly, and his ass looks good. He's married with a couple kids. I don't know why this happened, but one day he pulled his pants down and moon me at the garage while he was talking on his phone. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 7:59 PM GMT
    Nope. No guilt and there's nothing uncomfortable about it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 8:32 PM GMT
    I only feel a little guilty if they are married with kids or something. I feel a little pang of guilt because I feel like I'm putting my own desires above the happiness of other people. I know I'd never act on it though, even if the guy returned my feelings.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 8:33 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidI only feel a little guilty if they are married with kids or something. I feel a little pang of guilt because I feel like I'm putting my own desires above the happiness of other people. I know I'd never act on it though, even if the guy returned my feelings.


    You are a good man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2011 8:35 PM GMT
    sdgman said
    DudeInNOVA saidI only feel a little guilty if they are married with kids or something. I feel a little pang of guilt because I feel like I'm putting my own desires above the happiness of other people. I know I'd never act on it though, even if the guy returned my feelings.


    You are a good man.


    That's what I keep telling people, but no one believes me! icon_wink.gif