On which date do you share financial statements?

  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Dec 17, 2011 8:52 PM GMT
    A little forward is in order I think.

    I know quite a few of you so well on RJ from your posts to the forums, that I am sure there will be the typical “attack, insult, and generally prove you’re an ass” comments to this thread. There are also a large number on RJ who are just simply looking for a fuck and could care less the value of important attributes when might consider when dating with the intent of forming a relationship should that come to pass. Naturally, the more conservative of “RJ members – who more typically form stable long-term relationships with people of substance (Woo, that’s cruel as the destitute, stoners, and addicts of psychotropic agents may be stable at times) – may consider my question, which I will state again:

    On which date do you share financial statements?

    Now to the topic……..

    I have a date tonight. My date and I have communicated for some six weeks now and think it is time to meet face-to-face. In is 10 years younger than I and we share many things in common. He is well educated and works in the financial sector. He solely watches Fox News and is a big fan of the Tea Party.

    We have shared the basic outline of our financial status keeping those items sitting aside that need not be known in regards to a greater scale. In other words we’ve discussed those things relative to one’s life in the good old USA.

    So…..now to a little further context of the question. One can say many things that someone else may or may not choose to believe. Proof comes in the pudding: financials. Expand this if you will. Should financials even be shared? If so, at what point in the dating process moving to a “relationship”, should financials be shared.
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Dec 17, 2011 8:57 PM GMT
    I dont think finances should be discussed until u have both committed to eachother exclusively. .

    Because that way, each individual can have realistic expectations for purchasing things such as gifts, lifestyles, vacations, food choices, etc.

    If one of u is broke and the other well-off...u dont want the well-off person expecting u to take him to Mexico every Christmas....etc.

    if u guys share a place and one can afford the rent while the other one cant.... thats needs to be discussed beforehand
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2011 9:10 PM GMT
    OBEY the rules of the road tonight. For once in your life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2011 9:16 PM GMT
    I already see your short date ending.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Dec 17, 2011 9:19 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidI already see your short date ending.


    Oh contraire. You are speaking for yourself and not my date. Perhaps you should enlighten us as to how you feel about such a thing.
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    Dec 17, 2011 9:21 PM GMT
    Well if he only watches FOX news he's bound to be at least on the same intellectual level as you icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 17, 2011 9:24 PM GMT
    Some time after marriage, possibly never. Definatly not during the dating phase.
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    Dec 17, 2011 9:29 PM GMT
    If a guy asked me 6 weeks in on the first face to face meeting about my finances I'd think he had a different motive. I do pretty well for myself, rent a nice condo, and drive a nice car. I don't have a tremendous experience in dating, but I would assume as you get closer this discussion would be approached.

    You def need to have a discussion if you are planning on moving in together. I'd want to know I'm living with a financially stable person.
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    Dec 17, 2011 9:29 PM GMT
    Financial information should be shared right before the date you say "I do".
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    Dec 17, 2011 10:01 PM GMT
    What's a date? Is that some sort of pie? icon_neutral.gif
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    Dec 17, 2011 10:07 PM GMT
    CHIdude saidWhat's a date? Is that some sort of pie? icon_neutral.gif

    Close, it's a fruit that goes in a pie.
  • Adam00

    Posts: 39

    Dec 17, 2011 10:08 PM GMT
    the first date face to face,,,,,,,,,NO reason to talk about financial things

    may be later when you have something serious together so you can share it,,,,,but now,,,,nothing is serious yet

    Good luck
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    Dec 17, 2011 10:10 PM GMT
    Don't escorts tell you upfront want they want for their services.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Dec 17, 2011 10:17 PM GMT
    Why would you go through your financial situation on a date? Really, is conversation THAT strained that you have to talk about your credit limits and the balances you're carrying? Really?

    The general rule of thumb (imo) is right around the time you start talking about living together. While I don't care if a guy I'm seeing knows my income, knowing EVERYTHING about my finances is way too in-depth for someone I've only met a handful of times. When you take the next step and move in, take on financial obligations together, THEN you talk about things in depth.

    First date? Not if you want a second one.

    Unless you're accountants...

    And btw, fox news has got to be one of the worst news stations I've ever seen. Aside from the blatant misrepresentation of facts, they're some of the most hypocritical personalities I've EVER seen on TV....it's trash television, plain and simple.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Dec 17, 2011 10:17 PM GMT
    Jeez! . . . Don't date much?
    On your first date? ? ? Is this a troll post?
    If this were to be an arranged marriage, where your parents and his parents did the arranging, and you had little to say about it, I would presume that they would have already discussed financial status (and dowry). Since it isn't, I can't even imagine discussing financial affairs. That's what pretty much most guys said above this (slightly more tactfully).
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    Dec 17, 2011 10:19 PM GMT
    Assuming you are on the level:

    A fabulously wealthy guy like yourself would be wise to guard his financial affairs most closely.

    If I were in your shoes (given what you've said about your abounding wealth) - I'd say get a lot more face time in between you both before you get into specifics.

    Besides, a discriminating (good nuance, not racial nuance) individual like yourself will be able to quickly ascertain his financial position relative to your own by the close of that first date.

    Though if FOX is his *only* news source and you both regard this as a "good thing..."


    {{{{full body shudder}}}}

    I can get a lot if what the Tea Party is for, minus the religious conservatives who are injecting their dogma into the movement.

    But FOX...?

    Eeeek.
  • gcoastmark

    Posts: 83

    Dec 17, 2011 10:25 PM GMT
    Stuttershock saidSome time after marriage, possibly never. Definatly not during the dating phase.


    +1
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    Dec 17, 2011 10:31 PM GMT
    Financials should be discussed in detail before entering into any contracts together (sharing rent/mortgage, major joint purchases etc.). Otherwise, it really shouldn't be something that you bring up during a "date". You should be beyond dating and into a relationship before you really dig into his financials.

    People don't generally want to feel like they are a line item in your budget of life nor should any guy make you feel that way either. Being "conservative" is really important to you but I think you need to hold it in proper context IF you let it affect your relationships or how you view people. Your post reads as being somewhat sterile. There's no "I'm really pumped about meeting this guy." or "Our chats have been great so far". Just really eloquent ramblings about politics and financials. That's not gonna be a fun date.

    Focus on getting to know this guy as a person and see if you two could be friends. If it goes beyond friendship later down the road, great, and then you can work in financial discussions.
  • CAtoFL

    Posts: 834

    Dec 17, 2011 10:33 PM GMT
    Why would you EVER think of sharing 'financials' on a first date?

    Unless you or the other person is after money, it would be completely irrelevant (and laughably insane behavior).
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    Dec 17, 2011 10:33 PM GMT
    hey, if thats all you have going for yourself then work it! show them the $$$ before they could run.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2011 10:45 PM GMT
    Just give him a tour of Wayne manor, Batman. He'll get the drift.
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    Dec 17, 2011 10:49 PM GMT
    Ariodante and I never knew how to handle our expenses. That was in part what led to our divorce. Dude loved to spend on big ticket items. icon_cry.gif
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    Dec 17, 2011 10:50 PM GMT
    CHIdude saidAriodante and I never knew how to handle our expenses. That was in part what led to our divorce. Dude loved to spend on big ticket items. icon_cry.gif


    Oh and I guess we're going to turn a blind eye now to that sarcophagus in the basement overflowing with Pizza Hut receipts >=/
  • JBinSFO

    Posts: 90

    Dec 17, 2011 10:52 PM GMT
    If he only watches Fox News, then he's proven to you he is only interested in sh*t that's made up and that he, like Fox, is fairly unbalanced. So why don't you go ahead and create some fake financials. You know, like one's that only show assets but pretend there are no debts. What's good for Hannity should be good for you.
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    Dec 17, 2011 10:53 PM GMT
    Ariodante said
    CHIdude saidAriodante and I never knew how to handle our expenses. That was in part what led to our divorce. Dude loved to spend on big ticket items. icon_cry.gif


    Oh and I guess we're going to turn a blind eye now to that sarcophagus in the basement overflowing with Pizza Hut receipts >=/


    I told you never to bring that up, never!

    (CHIdude runs out of the room, crying)