Will I ruin my family's Christmas by coming out to them?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2011 11:52 PM GMT
    It's time. But should I wait until after the artificial social setting that Christmas brings before having a quiet word with mother and brothers?icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 12:08 AM GMT
    Does anyone in your family already know?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 12:16 AM GMT
    Why not just do it tomorrow? Why would you wait til Xmas?
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Dec 18, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    Depends on who "family" is, and what "social setting" you expect. At your age, your parents must be at least in their 60's, so there is no time like the present - People over 60 occasionally leave the planet quite suddenly. So unless they are quite rich and you are sure they will disinherit you on the news - . . .
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    Dec 18, 2011 12:23 AM GMT
    since you´re in the UK it´s much less likely to be an issue... unless they are religious nut jobs.

    Should be fine, though maybe do it on Boxing day rather than xmas eve.....
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    Dec 18, 2011 12:53 AM GMT
    eh, idk. They might view that as your xmas gift to them? lol if it was me I would probably wait until after the holidays when everything settles down.
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    Dec 18, 2011 1:24 AM GMT
    Yes you'll ruin everyone's christmas. Wait till after.
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    Dec 18, 2011 1:44 AM GMT
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    Dec 18, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    You need to tell them first.

    The rest of your fam can wait. I would have a quiet word with your brothers, then you mom. The rest whenever you and your fam feel comfortable.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 2:14 AM GMT
    You are thinking about it now.. then do it now.
  • fitone

    Posts: 276

    Dec 18, 2011 2:17 AM GMT
    do it now, i'd bet they already know.
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    Dec 18, 2011 2:35 AM GMT
    Is Christmas really the best time? It can be an overly-emotive time as it is. Have you never seen EastEnders at Christmas!!!

    Seriously.... I'd chose a more low key period, as soon as you are comfortable with doing it. And I bet their reactions will be positive.

    Good luck man!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 18, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    I kind of agree with some of what has been said above... pass on any Christmas day discussion... do it later, at a more advantageous time.
  • Brick_n_Lace

    Posts: 185

    Dec 18, 2011 2:44 AM GMT
    TropicalMark saidYou are thinking about it now.. then do it now.


    This is how i feel. Dont do it ON christmas, why not now? There will never be a right time. but you know your family best. for some the holidays are a time of high emotions so the whole thing could begin rather dramatically and maybe you should wait. Maybe a good time would be after the holidays for you idk. Idk your family or your relationship to them.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Dec 18, 2011 2:49 AM GMT
    At your age, my guess is that the news may not come as a huge surprise. In fact, the surprise could be on YOU when the family yells "FINALLY" and "What the HELL took you so long". Regardless, save the news for after Christmas, just in case it does come as a shock to your parents, because in that case it could put a damper on their Christmas that more appropriate timing on your part could avoid.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 3:11 AM GMT
    i think you should do it after christmas.. if you do it on christmas day, or the day before, there is a good possibility that it would be very awkward or uncomfortable..
    they might need time to get used to it, and christmas isnt really the best day for getting comfortable with the idea a family member is gay.


    but you know your family better than anyone, so im sure will know what to do icon_smile.gif
  • Sportsfan1

    Posts: 479

    Dec 18, 2011 3:18 AM GMT
    There is never a better time than the present. Only you know your family. Think of what their reaction may or may not be. My gut feeling is that they probably already know and are just waiting for you to confirm it. Is this what you really want to do? How is this going to alter your relationship with your family? Did they pick a time when they told you they were straight? What is your relationship like with your family now that as far as you know they do not really know about you since you have not told them? Try and be as honest as you can. All the best!
  • Mepark

    Posts: 806

    Dec 18, 2011 3:19 AM GMT
    I'd do it on your birthday. So you could say "mom, I was BORN this way."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 3:23 AM GMT
    Anyone who comes out to their family on a major holiday is just reiterating the drama queen stereotype...

    telling them on a holiday is selfish...

    It would be better received by most families if you handled you're coming out in a mature manner....telling them around the holiday table, for example, isn't very mature...


    ...and if they don't want to hear that you're gay, at least telling them on a non-holiday would make the situation a tad less ugly...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 3:23 AM GMT
    Yes. You will.

    My advice: don't make a spectacle of yourself. There's no reason your "coming out" has to be an enormous thing. The less you make a big deal about your sexuality, the less other feel like it is a big deal.

    Sailing into Christmas dinner with "Hey guys, I'm QUEER! Did that ruin Christmas!?" kinda makes a spectacle.
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    Dec 18, 2011 3:25 AM GMT
    Well, my sister came out to my mom right before Thanksgiving this year, and it ruined it completely. We were supposed to have a Thanksgiving party but mom pulled the plug, and Thanksgiving dinner was just fighting and arguing (with no Turkey because mom claimed that she was too depressed to cook). I can't imagine Xmas being that much different. But I guess everybody will react in a different way. Maybe your family members are pro-gay and will celebrate it instead, who knows. My suggestion is don't do it at a significant holiday.
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    Dec 18, 2011 3:26 AM GMT
    Do it after the holidays!
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    Dec 18, 2011 3:27 AM GMT
    Larkin_PLR saidYes. You will.

    My advice: don't make a spectacle of yourself. There's no reason your "coming out" has to be an enormous thing. The less you make a big deal about your sexuality, the less other feel like it is a big deal.

    Sailing into Christmas dinner with "Hey guys, I'm QUEER! Did that ruin Christmas!?" kinda makes a spectacle.


    omg lol, this reminded me of one of my good gay friend. He came out at the minute of New Year's.

    "Happy New Year! I'm gay mom!"

    He said that it ruined his entire year and his mom's year that particular year.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 3:27 AM GMT
    DO IT AFTERRRRRRR CHRISTMASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS !!!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 3:28 AM GMT
    I can't say for certain without knowing how your family might react. I'd think about doing it sooner to give them time to adjust to the news, or wait until after the holidays. I don't see any reason to do it on the holiday itself, unless that's the only time you can be together with your family.