He's not gay, he's just "European"

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    Jun 12, 2008 12:02 PM GMT
    My friend made the mistake of hitting on a what-seemed-to-be gay guy today, only to find out that he was straight -- just European. His friend turns around and says, "oh he's not gay, just Italian." (No offense to any Italians out there.)

    So, I guess this is mainly aimed at the Europeans out there, or those Americans with keen gaydar, but how do you tell when a European is gay, or just looking/dressing/being European?

    (Pardon the far-reaching generalizations.)
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    Jun 12, 2008 12:14 PM GMT
    You can't. icon_lol.gif

    But most Europeans are bisexual, I hear... icon_cool.gif
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    Jun 12, 2008 12:20 PM GMT
    Sedative saidYou can't. icon_lol.gif

    But most Europeans are bisexual, I hear... icon_cool.gif



    This Question can only be answered Broadway musically style...


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    Jun 12, 2008 12:24 PM GMT
    Oh my God, the Italians.
    You'd be surprised how much the Italians adore each other and expressed verbally. Guys in pairs who parade their tans on the beach in their Versace would be most likely to be mistaken as a gay couple 'cos they go as far as rubbing tanning lotion to each other publicly, which is no biggie as this is just a casual "Italian" thing for guys to do, straight or gay.icon_cool.gif
    I'd love to hear what Muttskins has to say.
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    Jun 12, 2008 12:25 PM GMT
    HAHAHA!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Jun 12, 2008 12:25 PM GMT
    *sits down to watch it*

    popcorn.jpg
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    Jun 12, 2008 12:30 PM GMT
    Remember the episode in Sex and the City when Carrie went shopping with Jack Burger at the Prada store? The salesman there would be most likely to be mistaken as a gay man icon_cool.gif
    now that's just a typical Italian for you...
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    Jun 12, 2008 12:37 PM GMT
    when did Italians acquire such a taste for Prada, Gucci, and Versace anyways???

    if they prefer to be this way, then they should wear signs on their backs clearly indicating their sexual preference for women.
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    Jun 12, 2008 12:48 PM GMT
    Alternatively, you could invert this and recognise that the existence of clearly divided heterosexual-homosexual stereotypes to which people are expected to conform is a deficiency of your own society, and an affront to your freedom.

    In any case, whether he's checking out girls or not, and whether he holds eye contact is a more reliable indicator.
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    Jun 12, 2008 1:02 PM GMT
    still doesnt explain the lotion rubbing.
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    Jun 12, 2008 1:18 PM GMT
    Aug2ndLT saidstill doesnt explain the lotion rubbing.

    I suppose it's the complete opposite of 'crab mentality'. No wonder Europeans predominantly rule the fashion world.
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    Jun 12, 2008 1:31 PM GMT
    It's almost impossible to spot the gay Europeans at first glance. Even the straight guys have clothes that fit and don't freak out over casual contact with another male - they'll even sit beside each other in the theater. I've even seen a Turkish kid at the gym helping his buddy curl his mullet under (please don't ask).
    After being here a while, I have noticed the gay Germans seem to look a bit less "serious" than the straight ones. It's really hard to describe, but like any other culture there are a few behavioral differences.
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    Jun 12, 2008 1:51 PM GMT
    Aug2ndLT saidwhen did Italians acquire such a taste for Prada, Gucci, and Versace anyways???

    if they prefer to be this way, then they should wear signs on their backs clearly indicating their sexual preference for women.


    Apart from the fact that they top the Milan stock exchange.

    It's because you interpret brands in a different way than other people based on their culture and society. Majority of Europeans see these as similar to that which you might interpret a guy wearing Polo Ralph Lauren. There is no association with wearing them and being gay

    Example, And I explain this a lot to American friends Burburry is a social suicide statement in Western Europe. Niemen Marcus in the US, Social housing the UK/Ireland.
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    Jun 12, 2008 1:54 PM GMT
    Straight men in Manhattan have the same problem.
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    Jun 12, 2008 1:59 PM GMT
    Europeans seem to be much more fashion conscious than Americans. This is especially true of Italians. I've heard (maybe apocryphal) that Italian men spend on average one third of their income on clothes.

    Add to that the fact that Italian males aren't so inhibited about expressing a friendly platonic affection with each other and it can be easy to misread the signals.
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    Jun 12, 2008 2:10 PM GMT
    My one big tip is don't look at the "outside" or the window dressing of European men. Watch THEM to see what they're looking at. They tend to be pretty overt in 'cruising' whatever the object of affection is - whether its men, women, or both.

    So if the prettified Italian guy you're checking out is obviously scoping out the asses of every woman in a 20 foot radius, don't bother!
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    Jun 12, 2008 2:17 PM GMT
    yes i think this sounds like the best advice. *noted with care*
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    Jun 12, 2008 2:49 PM GMT
    lol when i was in europe my 'gaydar' was permanently broken, like a compass in a room full of magnets. its easy enough to spot gays here (well, still a challenge, but easiER), because straight men over here have this idea of what being masculine has to be, and they do their best to fill it- over there, while i'm sure there's still machismo, the idea of what 'masculinity' is is a bit different, and i think many are more comfortable with their masculinity anyways. so everyone dresses better. in tighter clothes. and wears more jewelry. and has nice shoes. so the lil signs we look for over here have no bearing :p i ended up hitting on a lot of straight guys over there ;)
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    Jun 12, 2008 5:54 PM GMT
    Its a Med' thing they all hug and touch and kiss on the cheeks just watch football not soccer ok!

    And they are not Gay at all most!


    And most europeans are not Bi eithere so that was a Stupid remark?
  • auryn

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    Jun 12, 2008 6:03 PM GMT
    Many Southern California guys through my gaydar off just like guys from Europe and Japan. People outside of the states are a lot less prudish, in my opinion; women celabrate their boobage and men look good just for the heck of it, so, when meeting someone I don't know from another country (incl. California) I tend to turn my gaydar off and my projection on. icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 12, 2008 6:12 PM GMT
    I'll tell you why it is, because in the USA (as wonderful as it is) people are so hung up on sex and sexual expression being bad that men hold back their affection as to not be assumed to be gay. It's pretty sad actually. A best friend won't put lotion on your back at the beach because someone may assume that he's sucking your dick. And people are so uptight about their bodies and sexuality that most teenagers can't even talk to their parents about sex.

    It's just so F'd up!
  • Salubrious

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    Jun 12, 2008 6:27 PM GMT
    I was just in Europe for a month and I had this problem... a lot.
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    Jun 12, 2008 6:32 PM GMT
    LOL. You can't. Doesn't matter who or where they are from. If anything Europeans are alot more friendlier then Americans and alot more opne sexually.

    I'm speaking as person who lived nearly his entire life over in Europe. It's a hit-n'-miss thing with anyone and know one has keen gaydar. That's a fancey term that just means "assumption" or "I hope he's gay."
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    Jun 12, 2008 6:41 PM GMT
    Being form Eastern Europe myself I would say that it is very hard to figure out if a guy is gay or not in Europe. Aside from some mannerisms and obvious choices in words and clothing, pretty everyone looks gay. In Ukraine you can spot a gay guy easier than in Russia.
    But I do agree that overall Europeans dress very differently from Americans, and that sense of style is easy to mistake for gayness. Although, who knows, maybe everyone is bi over there. There is a saying in Russia, "If it's your first time you aren't gay, but the second time isn't the first time." So I guess everyone keeps an open mind lol
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    Jun 12, 2008 9:07 PM GMT
    Italatin said
    it has to do with continuously looking you in the eye and smiling at the same time... a smile that is almost affectionate without an apparent reason for affection... icon_wink.gif


    I think this perfectly captures what I see in German gay men but couldn't quite describe. The rest of them sure don't do it.