When he's old enough to be your dad or even grandpa...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 5:39 PM GMT
    and you get a "Hi" message from him on a dating site, what does he usually want from you? Tell me, I really don't knowicon_confused.gif
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    Dec 18, 2011 5:49 PM GMT
    Nobody sending you a 'hi' message is worth your time, older or younger, so stop trying to figure out what they want. Just ignore them.

    If by total chance you are interested in them, you can start up a conversation, going after what you want from them.
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    Dec 18, 2011 6:14 PM GMT
    bhp91126 saidNobody sending you a 'hi' message is worth your time, older or younger, so stop trying to figure out what they want. Just ignore them.

    If by total chance you are interested in them, you can start up a conversation, going after what you want from them.


    Well..."Hi" is often the subject title. When I open the message, it follows with "Hey, how are you?" I can't just be rude and ignore them so I would reply back "I'm fine, thanks."
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    Dec 18, 2011 6:43 PM GMT
    oaksen said
    bhp91126 saidNobody sending you a 'hi' message is worth your time, older or younger, so stop trying to figure out what they want. Just ignore them.

    If by total chance you are interested in them, you can start up a conversation, going after what you want from them.

    "I'm fine, thanks."

    You did not indicate any interest in the person by asking a question or gave more than a perfunctory answer. That should be the end of it and you can go your merry way.

    If you want to keep going, give a more detailed answer and ask him a question.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    Dec 18, 2011 8:15 PM GMT
    DAT ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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    Dec 18, 2011 8:21 PM GMT
    Most of the messages you are going to get on a dating site are just like that, "Hi, how are you?" , regardless of age. If they're messaging you, then they are expressing interest in dating you.

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    Dec 18, 2011 8:41 PM GMT
    You forgot to tell us whether the guy is hot or not.

    We've already established in a different thread that if it's a hot older guy that he's worth you trying to pursue, but if he's not hot then he must be a pervert. icon_wink.gif

    Seriously, though, if a guy is sending you a message on a dating site, he's probably trying to connect with you. I'm sure that you aren't expecting his life story, and most people looking to date don't respond well to penis photos.

    Putting age aside, what type of message are you looking for on a first contact?
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    Dec 18, 2011 8:43 PM GMT
    This reminds me of when people go on Grindr then make threads complaining they got sexually propositioned there.

    "OH MY GOD THE INDIGNATION I JUST WENT INTO GRINDR TO GET TIPS ON PLANTING TULIP BULBS!!!!"
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    Dec 18, 2011 8:44 PM GMT
    I gotta be honest, I DO believe in that whole "age is relative" thing... but there's a point. For me that point is 18 years older than me, and the minimum when I reach that age will be 18 as well (for now it's 'nobody younger than 21')

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    Dec 18, 2011 8:47 PM GMT
    You can just politely say you're not interested. It happens to me all the time at the gym. But never from guys my age icon_confused.gif
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    Dec 18, 2011 8:47 PM GMT
    Lacrossehairs saidI gotta be honest, I DO believe in that whole "age is relative" thing... but there's a point. For me that point is 18 years older than me, and the minimum when I reach that age will be 18 as well (for now it's 'nobody younger than 21')



    Out of my league.

    Oh, wrong thread.

    I agree with you that I have a range, but not everyone does. Some guys my age like being with guys who are the OPs age. If it works for them, then I say why not?
  • MisterT

    Posts: 1272

    Dec 18, 2011 8:55 PM GMT
    If a guy is remotely near my dad's age or older, there is no way i'm going to find him sexy, in any way. I don't understand the 25+ year age differences, people are in much different places in their lives. I don't really say anything, unless it involves me though. It's their business.

    That's just me, i know some guys like much older men. I'm glad too, because I sometimes like much younger men icon_wink.gif though still generally not more than 10-15 years younger. I'm occasionally attracted to slightly older, but it's rare.
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    Dec 18, 2011 8:57 PM GMT
    aww boy.............i can just hear the cougar jokes now.............
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    Dec 18, 2011 8:59 PM GMT
    No one's asking, but that's kind of snobby if you ask me. So are you saying we old guys can't say hi to someone younger whether that be here OR in the gym?

    Next time a young guy says hi to me or I say hi to him at the gym I'll ask for his birth certificate first. If he isn't more than 20 yrs younger than me, then it's OK for me to be friendly. Because apparently this is the new rule. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 18, 2011 9:01 PM GMT
    Everyone has their dating parameters. I'll only date 45+, can't stand guys younger than that (for dating) for some reason.
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    Dec 18, 2011 9:07 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]Ariodante said[/cite]Everyone has their dating parameters. I'll only date 45+, can't stand guys younger than that (for dating) for some reason.whatever hoe.
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    Dec 18, 2011 9:08 PM GMT
    dekiruman said[quote][cite]Ariodante said[/cite]Everyone has their dating parameters. I'll only date 45+, can't stand guys younger than that (for dating) for some reason.whatever hoe.


    gurl you totally messed up this quote
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    Dec 18, 2011 9:11 PM GMT
    Ariodante said
    dekiruman said[quote][cite]Ariodante said[/cite]Everyone has their dating parameters. I'll only date 45+, can't stand guys younger than that (for dating) for some reason.whatever hoe.


    gurl you totally messed up this quote


    tumblr_lw6a5n8GGR1qeb4in.gif
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    Dec 18, 2011 9:13 PM GMT
    ^ I want to hug it :3
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    Dec 18, 2011 9:14 PM GMT
    dekiruman said
    Ariodante said
    dekiruman said[quote][cite]Ariodante said[/cite]Everyone has their dating parameters. I'll only date 45+, can't stand guys younger than that (for dating) for some reason.whatever hoe.


    gurl you totally messed up this quote


    tumblr_lw6a5n8GGR1qeb4in.gif


    Why are you doing this whole hidden / deleted thing?

    It's weird.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 9:23 PM GMT
    Someone above said "Is he hot?" in jest, but... that's pretty much true. If some guy with no picture sends "hi" I don't respond at all. If some beautiful older man sends "hi" I'll respond, but typically a guy who sends "hi" isn't a huge conversationalist. I don't like going back and forth in 1 sentence emails with someone for a week or two... we have to be able to talk about interesting things.

    As to age differences, it depends what you want. I've hooked up with a guy 25 years older than me. If you're hooking up, age really is completely irrelevant. Who cares how old he is? Is his body good and does his dick work? That's basically the bottom line in a hookup situation.

    For a relationship, there's an upper limit. Mentally, the early 40s are about where I start to begin having second thoughts. I say that because when I imagine a relationship, I imagine my life with that person... To be with someone much older runs the risk of them becoming invalid while you are still in your prime, and then dying and leaving you to live another 20 years alone.
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    Dec 18, 2011 9:31 PM GMT
    Okay, you got to see my left ass cheek.

    Now where is my M3 old man......icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 9:35 PM GMT
    ^^^This^^^ (Larkin)

    And it works both ways. I have been on many "dates" with guys in their 20s, but I am not going to propose to them, wrong for me and wrong for them. I don't consider a guy in relationship mode until about 35. For some it is older.
  • Trepeat

    Posts: 546

    Dec 18, 2011 10:12 PM GMT
    Snobbery. I tend to be attracted to guys much older than myself (though very rarely go for a guy if there's a 30+ year age gap, as I find that's when it becomes more difficult finding common ground), and have no problems with someone "old enough to be my dad's age" saying hello. Eventually you're going to be an "old guy" who'll inevitably be attracted to some younger guys. Show these people courtesy and respect, even if you aren't interested, and hope that karma will treat you well when eventually you're the one standing in their shoes.

    Also, what do you expect someone to begin a conversation with? I think that "hi" is a much more appropriate way of approaching someone than bombarding them with questions or information that they may have no interest replying to.
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    Dec 18, 2011 10:28 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR saidFor a relationship, there's an upper limit. Mentally, the early 40s are about where I start to begin having second thoughts. I say that because when I imagine a relationship, I imagine my life with that person... To be with someone much older runs the risk of them becoming invalid while you are still in your prime, and then dying and leaving you to live another 20 years alone.


    In an ideal world, I would agree. However, from experience, you can both be "less than seniors", and still be faced with one in bad health and needing care.

    If I was dating, the age would make no difference to me... whether I'm 20 or 60 and same with him. For me, it would depend entirely on his maturity and the connection and chemistry between us. I believe that everyone has someone out there and I don't think it is always someone our same age.

    @OP: You will be the older man someday. Do or say what you would expect when you reach that age.