Hmmm, what to do?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 10:32 PM GMT
    So, the other day my ex texted me and it started off as just friendly conversation. . .we haven't really spoken since we broke up (he was the one that ended it) and then out of nowhere, says that he feels really bad about how things went down and wants to get to a place where we can be friends. . .

    I'm not really sure what to do, or even how I feel about the situation.

    Shortly after we broke up (maybe two weeks or so) he was already in another relationship and saying he was "in love" with the guy, and to me, those feelings don't develop that quickly. . .which lead me to believe that he had been seeing the guy while we were still together, which he confirmed while we were talking the other day.

    I don't really know what to do. . .part of me would like to have him as a friend, but at the same time, I don't really know how to get over that level of an emotional betrayal. And then there is also a part of me that doesn't know if he is doing this just so HE doesn't feel guilty anymore.

    Kind of just ranting, and asking or advice at the same time, haha. . .
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Dec 18, 2011 11:09 PM GMT
    7Famark said

    I'm not really sure what to do, or even how I feel about the situation.

    Nobody but you can know either of these.
    I have had a couple of ex's, and they became friends - eventually. A lot of time passed between relationship end and friendship start. I don't understand how people can "just be friends," soon after a breakup. Perhaps others can; perhaps you can.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 18, 2011 11:16 PM GMT
    Listen, I say go ahead and be friends. The hardiest thing to do is forgive someone. However, if you do not forgive him then you give him the impression that you are not over him and you have not moved on. It sounds like you need some time. If that is the case just be honest. Tell him I need time. In time I am sure we can be friends but right now I just need time. If he can respect that than he is probably worth having as a friend. If he can not accept that than he is not worthy of being a friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 11:23 PM GMT
    Pardon my French but FUCK THAT PUTO! I'M A FIRM BELIEVER THAT A FRIENDSHIP IS BASED ON TRUST! What the hell are you going to want with someone you can't trust? Better question to ask yourself, can you forgive him & forget his actions? If you can't forget it, than you can't forgive. I worry that things might not be going well in his relationship that he's not telling you about & thus now wants you to be Plan B. You deserve better. I know I would and do. Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 11:27 PM GMT
    Who knows, maybe you can be friends. But its all about you. I tried to be friends with my last ex, but he continued the same things he did when we were in a relationship. Shit that I put up with when we were dating I wasn't willing to when we were friends... we're not friends (although I don't dislike him, I just don't care).
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    Dec 18, 2011 11:50 PM GMT
    tuffguyndc saidListen, I say go ahead and be friends. The hardiest thing to do is forgive someone. However, if you do not forgive him then you give him the impression that you are not over him and you have not moved on. It sounds like you need some time. If that is the case just be honest. Tell him I need time. In time I am sure we can be friends but right now I just need time. If he can respect that than he is probably worth having as a friend. If he can not accept that than he is not worthy of being a friend.


    Some people dont deserve forgiveness
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2011 11:55 PM GMT
    Can you forgive him? Can you trust him again? Note that those are two different questions.

    I've never been in this situation, but I don't think I could be friends with someone who cheated on me. I'd never be able to look at him without knowing what the dirt-bag did. I might be able to forgive, but moving past it would be very difficult if he were someone I saw on a regular basis.
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Dec 18, 2011 11:55 PM GMT
    7Famark said
    tuffguyndc saidListen, I say go ahead and be friends. The hardiest thing to do is forgive someone. However, if you do not forgive him then you give him the impression that you are not over him and you have not moved on. It sounds like you need some time. If that is the case just be honest. Tell him I need time. In time I am sure we can be friends but right now I just need time. If he can respect that than he is probably worth having as a friend. If he can not accept that than he is not worthy of being a friend.


    Some people dont deserve forgiveness


    amen to that one. there r some guys that r just douch bags and need to get the SHIT BEAT OUT OF THEM, for messing with another persona heart.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    Dec 19, 2011 12:16 AM GMT
    Dude...simple....tell him out need more time to shake things out in your head..If he indeed wants said new friendship he'll respect your decision and give ya time...Good luck