Advice from Other Men-HELP

  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Dec 19, 2011 12:53 AM GMT
    How Do you feel and what is your view on not having Intercourse until you both decide you want to be in a monogamous relationship??

    Doesnt mean you cant touch each other,kiss or even perform Oral but what do you think if someone didnt want to have sex until the guy they liked told them they wanted to be in a real relationship?
  • Trepeat

    Posts: 546

    Dec 19, 2011 1:05 AM GMT
    Sounds like the guy's got self-rspect and knows what he wants. Don't screw unless you feel like you're on the same page as him, people that forward don't deserve to be played.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Dec 19, 2011 1:07 AM GMT
    Thats my thing...Am I that weird or different If I think like that?

    Theirs a guy Ive liked for 4 monthes...Friday night we kissed for the first time and rubbed each other ect...It was so nice and really hot.

    I personally dont wanna have sex with him unless we hang out more and give a reltionship a try...I havnt told him that yet but will he run if I tell him?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2011 1:07 AM GMT
    I'd say you're living in the Victorian era.
  • Trepeat

    Posts: 546

    Dec 19, 2011 1:30 AM GMT
    Well, if he does run, obviously he's not the guy you're looking for. icon_exclaim.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Dec 19, 2011 1:33 AM GMT
    Sex is something personal and people should do what they are comfortable doing. Judge not, lest ye be judged.
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    Dec 19, 2011 1:34 AM GMT
    beneful1 said I'd say you're living in the Victorian era.

    Lol. You'd better not show off your neck line or your ankle. You'll give the guy impure thoughts.

    It's up to you to decide when/if you're comfortable having sex.
    If the guy said he doesn't want to have intercourse until you're monogamous, it does not also include kissing and probably doesn't include oral. Otherwise he would have said no sexual contact, not no intercourse.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Dec 19, 2011 1:41 AM GMT
    Since I met the guy monthes ago I had a crush on him...completely my type I get butterflys when Im with him.


    We finally kissed the other night and it was amazing...Like I said I think we will be hanging out this week at some point and I know things can get hot and heavy...He told me he likes me and if he didnt he wouldnt have kissed me.

    Im blushing as I write this but....if we continue to hang out...I wanna ask him out.....Is that too soon?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2011 2:05 AM GMT
    Just do it.

    If you don't, you'll give the guy the impression that you didn't like the kiss or aren't into him.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Dec 19, 2011 2:30 AM GMT
    Ermine saidJust do it.

    If you don't, you'll give the guy the impression that you didn't like the kiss or aren't into him.


    just do what?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2011 4:57 AM GMT
    Have a frank discussion about it.

    There's nothing wrong with having sexual boundaries, and there's nothing wrong with you if the other guy can't or won't accept those boundaries.
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    Dec 19, 2011 5:09 AM GMT
    Other people's opinions don't really matter much in this case. It's what you and your partner are comfortable with. You have to talk to him, once you reach that stage. You certainly shouldn't feel pressured to go farther or faster than you are ready for. It's not "old fashioned" to want a deeper and more meaningful relationship rather than just a physical one.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 19, 2011 5:23 AM GMT
    comical44 saidHow Do you feel and what is your view on not having Intercourse until you both decide you want to be in a monogamous relationship??

    Doesnt mean you cant touch each other,kiss or even perform Oral but what do you think if someone didnt want to have sex until the guy they liked told them they wanted to be in a real relationship?
    LOL you lost me after you can do oral. ha ha ha If you are going to do oral you might as well have sex. Listen, if you are going to wait until you are in a monogamous relationship than you should not be doing anything other than kissing.
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    Dec 19, 2011 5:31 AM GMT
    comical44 saidSince I met the guy monthes ago I had a crush on him...completely my type I get butterflys when Im with him.


    We finally kissed the other night and it was amazing...Like I said I think we will be hanging out this week at some point and I know things can get hot and heavy...He told me he likes me and if he didnt he wouldnt have kissed me.

    Im blushing as I write this but....if we continue to hang out...I wanna ask him out.....Is that too soon?



    He'd have ran already... continue what you are doing. I've been like that in all my relationships and they have been long term.. Do NOT sell yourself short... I wish you guys were like you bro. That's awesome. I don't feel so alone in the world.
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    Dec 19, 2011 5:33 AM GMT
    i think thats fine
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    Dec 19, 2011 5:33 AM GMT
    The most important thing is that you do what YOU are most comfortable with and not worry about what everyone else may think. Find a partner on a similar wave length and do whatever the two of you as a couple feel good about.

    THAT being said...WTF? Why are you drawing a line between oral and anal sex? You ARE aware that you can't get pregnant, right?!?!?

    You're grown Men. Do what you want. There are no scarlet letters.

    It sounds a bit like you are basing your life as an adult male on the standards established by the girls you knew in high school. They may have been an early support system for you and maybe helpful in discovering and accepting your orientation...but you do not have to base your code of sexual ethics on the same standards.
  • Diceroll

    Posts: 224

    Dec 19, 2011 1:11 PM GMT
    Trepeat saidWell, if he does run, obviously he's not the guy you're looking for. icon_exclaim.gif


    I agree - it's better to tell this guy now so you can gauge his reaction. It's unfortunate but a lot of seemingly great guys will completely change once they find out you don't wanna sleep with someone unless you're in a 121 relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2011 1:14 PM GMT
    It's a valid opinion and if you wanna do that, it's okay. Personally, I like to test drive a car before buying it... or leasing it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2011 3:50 PM GMT
    monogamy all the way i think... find the perfect one... it's worth it... my opinion...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2011 3:57 PM GMT
    This is so cute.. I always wish I had had something like that in my life ^_^ .. what you have there sounds normal to me... straight relationships here go the same way...

    Wish the gay ones I know weren;t so incredibly messed up icon_confused.gif
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Dec 19, 2011 9:46 PM GMT
    Thanks Everyone for your advice and kind words.

    I guess to me...I wanna have sex and have it be meaningful...not saying hookups can be meaningful but I want it to be between me and my boyfriend.

    I dont wanna be another hookup to someone and I dont want this person to be another person I got Oral from who wasnt a bf.....I guess I just want a bf to do all these things with...This guy said he isnt against a bf....Maybe ill hang out with him again and then have a nice conversation with him and see if he wants to go on a date?