Will you hold your boyfriend's hand in public?

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    Jun 13, 2008 7:08 PM GMT
    I can't believe how far I've come in accepting my homosexuality. Now, I'm at the stage where if I'm on a date with a guy and feel a strong attraction, I will just grab his hand and won't give a damn about where I am. I know this can be dangerous, but I went through some serious mental anguish for not being able to be myself.

    I figure, if straight people can engage in PDA (some of which often crosses the line), what's wrong with me and another guy holding hands?

    Do you hold another guys' hand in public?
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    Jun 13, 2008 7:26 PM GMT
    Normally we dont. Boston can be a pretty friendly place (certain areas) but why go looking for a fight. Especially with some knuckle head assholes. Now we tend to make out at straight clubs when alcohol is involved. That happens far too often. We really should watch out for that.
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    Jun 13, 2008 7:28 PM GMT
    I do and nor do I care what people may say or if they stare though my BF seems to become real anxious when breeders stare. Yea I sorta understand what you mean by it being somewhat dangerous. But I feel i'm more than prepared to defend me or my loved one if some idiot tries something with 4 different Martial Art techniques under my belt.
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    Jun 13, 2008 7:30 PM GMT
    Yes... despite the name calling, the drinks splashed on me and my other, amongst other things - I'm not going to submit to someone else's faulty "needs" (those being of the offenders/"offended")

    If I care enough about him - then be damned if I'm not going to hold his hand!
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    Jun 13, 2008 7:33 PM GMT
    I say bring it the fuck on! If someone wants to talk shit, I'm ready for the fight. You do realize, the harrassment we as gays face is really no different from blacks in predominately white areas in the '50's and '60's right?

    I mean, how people would say crazy stuff to black kids who were going to school after desegregation and people would throw stuff, call them names.

    It seems as though people always need someone to hate. I refuse to stand for that.
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    Jun 13, 2008 7:38 PM GMT
    Make no mistake about it. I can handle my own. And I can and will brake someones jaw. But I dont like using violence. And I feel im too old for that. I fight and what happens. I still have to work come Monday. I cant have bruises or be in jail for someones ignorance.

    That is why I love going to Provincetown. We hold hands and kiss on the streets every chance we get.
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    Jun 13, 2008 7:39 PM GMT
    It is great that you have become so comfortable with yourself (and sad that society had to make feel bad in the first place)

    Enjoy holding your guy's hand. Do it a lot. As you get used to it and feel less self-conscious about it, the less those around you will sense your awkwardness and the more they will leave you alone.

    However, for those who are so jealous that they feel they have to shout at you, let think of somethings to retort:

    1) I'm sorry. Did you want to be holding my hand?

    2) I'm sorry. I only date one guy at a time. YOu can hold my hand tomorrow.

    ok, I gotta run to my trainer's appt. Maybe others can help you out with more zingers.

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 13, 2008 7:44 PM GMT
    I blow them kisses
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    Jun 13, 2008 7:46 PM GMT
    Caslon4000 saidIt is great that you have become so comfortable with yourself (and sad that society had to make feel bad in the first place)

    Enjoy holding your guy's hand. Do it a lot. As you get used to it and feel less self-conscious about it, the less those around you will sense your awkwardness and the more they will leave you alone.

    However, for those who are so jealous that they feel they have to shout at you, let think of somethings to retort:

    1) I'm sorry. Did you want to be holding my hand?

    2) I'm sorry. I only date one guy at a time. YOu can hold my hand tomorrow.

    ok, I gotta run to my trainer's appt. Maybe others can help you out with more zingers.

    icon_biggrin.gif


    Lol, you're so funny Caslon I like #2 thoughicon_twisted.gif
  • in773guy

    Posts: 89

    Jun 13, 2008 7:59 PM GMT
    Hell yea....always have and always will of course my most recent ex (who is on here) had huge issues with it....we couldn't even hold hands in boystown, our own hood..... so childish.
    Let's be honest, outside Boystown.... the shock value is the best part....love the tourists from small towns and there double takes....Priceless!
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    Jun 13, 2008 8:01 PM GMT
    My permanent home is Moonville, SC. When my partner and I first moved in together, I bought my first hand gun after being accosted by a redneck driving home from work alone. He must not have liked my shirt.

    No, we don't hold hands in public. Maybe when we leave the state.
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    Jun 13, 2008 8:14 PM GMT
    Hell yea! I don't care what strangers think. I care about what my boy thinks and I want him to know I want to be with him! Honestly the best stares I got were when my boyfriend had to do drag for turnabout and we went out afterwards!
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Jun 13, 2008 8:17 PM GMT
    Yes, I have. And if i still had a boyfriend, I'd still hold his hand in public.
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    Jun 13, 2008 8:40 PM GMT
    Well, I've not had a BF in several years, but within my inner circle of friends, I am prone to hug, kiss and walk hand in hand with them....back in the day, I'd only feel comfortable doing so in the "gay-bor-hood" but over the last few years, I've taken the "You wanna fuck with me asshole?" approach....
    So far, no takers....which says something I suppose....whether I'm in little-town-Texas or out in one of the fundamentalist suburbs of Dallas (like Plano), nobody seems to give a shit!icon_eek.gif
    ...and if they did...all the better...I like teaching old-dogs, new tricks.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 13, 2008 8:53 PM GMT
    I'm all for it, but my partner is from another culture where PDA -- of any flavor -- is frowned upon. So, we don't do the PDA thing. Small price to pay, given his many other wonderful attributes.
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    Jun 13, 2008 9:06 PM GMT
    Hell yes. We don't make-out in front of the nephews, but we will hold hands, hug and kiss. Same goes for being in public -- thank God for liberal Portland, OR.
  • HereNBoston

    Posts: 221

    Jun 13, 2008 9:13 PM GMT
    yeah generally we do, but don't make a point of it. Boston's a liberal town, and it keeps the tourists on their toes. When were in Kansas it was different though. A guy called me a faggot at the mall while pointing to my juicy couture shorts icon_sad.gif I'm tall and lanky and he had maybe 50lbs on me in his beer belly alone so we just took it haha
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    Jun 13, 2008 9:19 PM GMT
    me & my boyfriend always hold hands when we are in west hollywood ...

    we even kiss lips to lips when we are inside a bar ... like in "fubar" ... or in "the abbey" ...

    we also hold hands "sometimes" in silverlake ...

    of course, when we are at my boyfriend's place, we are always naked and always do naughty things more than holding hands ... ha ha ... icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2008 9:26 PM GMT
    Yes, I have always done so and will always do so. Freedom must be taken.
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    Jun 13, 2008 9:28 PM GMT
    Yes I do hold my partners hand in public and have no issues with it, especially if we're out at night. I do not however walk through the mall holding hands as I think that it is a little much for the conservative area that we live in.
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Jun 13, 2008 9:47 PM GMT
    One of the nicest experiences was when I met a friend that sought me out on the net and we had talked on line, the phone, webcam and FINALLY met when he came to Las Vegas for work. After we met in a Hotel lobby in person for the first time, it seemed natural and wonderful to hold hands as we walked up the stairs, into the tram and then into my hotel... we were always holding hands and hugging in pubic... did anyone notice? I don't know or care... it was a magical weekend.

    Now back to current reality; If I care about and love someone I DO want to hold hands even in public. I realize I am a big guy with Martial arts training and don't fear most guys , but I know that is not the case with someone I am seeing, so I respect their wishes but try to alleviate the fear.
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    Jun 13, 2008 9:54 PM GMT
    YES!!!!
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    Jun 13, 2008 9:59 PM GMT
    OMG. I was doing that 26 years ago, when it was totally unsafe to do so. But it is a very diffrent world now days.

    But you know. I would never do this kind of thing now day. maybe because it's not dangerous anymore, or the points already been made.

    Happy to kiss and give a manly hug on greeting in public, may it be a restaurant or what ever. This never gives us any grief. But other than this, One has no need to show public affections.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Jun 13, 2008 10:05 PM GMT
    We don't, not out of concern for our safety (we don't hold hands even in DuPont... Washington's gay district). I think we just don't have an interest.
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    Jun 13, 2008 10:07 PM GMT
    Yes, I do when I'm dating someone.