he is Lying

  • Adam00

    Posts: 39

    Dec 21, 2011 9:23 PM GMT
    He is telling me something and finally i discover that he did what he want only,,,, when i ask him why? He said it will be better for us,,,sometimes yes it be better for us but i feel no respect and i feel that i am nothing when he act like that,,,,specially when he try to be silly and like he did nothing when i discover the lie

    he is not cheating and it is not lies about sex with others But about normal life and normal things

    i tried to explain to him that i feel bad from that but he say that i make drama from so small things,,,but i really do not like that,,,how can i deal with this?
  • patmos9990

    Posts: 146

    Dec 21, 2011 9:53 PM GMT
    If he's lying about the small stuff now, he'll eventually start lying about the big stuff later.
  • Trepeat

    Posts: 546

    Dec 21, 2011 11:39 PM GMT
    Tell him you got a zero-tolerance policy for that shit, and if you catch him lying again dump his ass. Don't let yourself be a victim.
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    Dec 21, 2011 11:42 PM GMT
    That's a tough one. I'm often on the other end of your situation. I leave out things and hide things - little things - because I just don't want to deal with a fight or the drama. It's not good for the relationship but neither is constant bickering over little shit. Tell us more information - maybe give an example...
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    Dec 21, 2011 11:46 PM GMT
    He's not lieing he's lying. Sorry couldn't help myself.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 22, 2011 1:03 AM GMT
    is it me or am i just not understanding what is going on here
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Dec 22, 2011 2:15 AM GMT
    Catching a grown ass man in a lie is sad and speaks to the volume of his character (or lack thereof). You may have strong feelings for him now, but if you continue to stay with this man; realize that you've set the precedent for behavior you will accept. Value yourself more and walk away before his deceitful ways worsen.
  • Adam00

    Posts: 39

    Dec 22, 2011 2:20 AM GMT
    Voltaire saidThat's a tough one. I'm often on the other end of your situation. I leave out things and hide things - little things - because I just don't want to deal with a fight or the drama. It's not good for the relationship but neither is constant bickering over little shit. Tell us more information - maybe give an example...


    he is using the same words,,drama ,,and little things

    for example,,,he had to send something by post,,,and we agreed to send it via express post that takes 2 days because it was emergency,,,he said yes and finally after 10 days when the letter was late i discovered that he sent it normal not express,,,,i was so angry as even he did not tell me that after he had sent it

    it is silly i know,,,not a big deal,,,,,,but i feel no respect that we agree on something but finally he do what he want it is like that i am not there

    ABOUT LYING or LIEING,,,,I am not American and the google transelator said they are both the same word,,,,sorry for the mistake
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    Dec 22, 2011 2:36 AM GMT
    Theres different kinds of lying obviously....
  • DesireIron

    Posts: 426

    Dec 22, 2011 2:38 AM GMT
    Those swim trunks dont lie! ... icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 22, 2011 2:48 AM GMT
    It sounds like he doesn't place the same level of importance on things that you do, and that he doesn't understand why it bothers you.

    In the example that you gave, it's not so much of a lie as maybe not meeting your expectation, unless you asked him about the shipping and he specifically told you that he sent it through express post.

    When you talk, have you asked him what his motivation is for doing this? Maybe he doesn't think it's important, or it could be that he views it as being "your way" and he wants to do it "his way" instead.
  • Adam00

    Posts: 39

    Dec 22, 2011 3:04 AM GMT
    yeahim40 saidIt sounds like he doesn't place the same level of importance on things that you do, and that he doesn't understand why it bothers you.

    In the example that you gave, it's not so much of a lie as maybe not meeting your expectation, unless you asked him about the shipping and he specifically told you that he sent it through express post.

    When you talk, have you asked him what his motivation is for doing this? Maybe he doesn't think it's important, or it could be that he views it as being "your way" and he wants to do it "his way" instead.


    I asked him and he has no answer he say it is not a big deal,,,,and he just say sorry as i was feeling bad but he does not think that he did something wrong,,,he said it is the same finally we did what we want

    i just do not know how to explain to him that we already talked and we decided something and when he makes what he want on his way after that talking that we had together it makes me feel bad like that i was not there,,,,it is like that he give me the candy to stop crying and finally he does what he want,,,i feel that i am a silly kid,,,it hurts

  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Dec 22, 2011 3:28 AM GMT
    It looks to me as though he has insufficient respect for your opinions and feelings. That's not a good basis for a relationship. However, I would not suggest leaving the relationship without first telling him how you feel about such things and that when he does things like that, it undermines your feelings and respect for him and makes it impossible for you to trust him. Consider pinning him down and insisting on a direct answer as to why he fails to do things which he agreed to do. You have a right to an answer. Posting an item in a different manner from what he agreed to may seem minor, but probably he will do the same sort of things over and over again even when it is more important. If he continues doing that sort of thing after you have discussed it several times, you will have to decide whether you could live comfortably with his lack of respect for you.

    It is possible that he doesn't want to continue the relationship but doesn't want to be the one to break it off and be blamed for it. He could be intentionally annoying you so that you will be the one to break off the relationship. Consider asking him whether he wants to continue the relationship, but be prepared for an answer that you may not want to hear.