when it's time to move on and find a new bf, do you....

  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 22, 2011 8:51 AM GMT
    make a clean, total break with your current bf?

    or do you keep seeing him while you are looking for his replacement?
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    Dec 22, 2011 9:43 AM GMT
    Is this a serious question? -.^
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 22, 2011 11:35 AM GMT
    Justtrying saidIs this a serious question? -.^




    yes it is.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 22, 2011 12:08 PM GMT
    rnch saidmake a clean, total break with your current bf?

    or do you keep seeing him while you are looking for his replacement?
    why would you want to stay with someone whom you do not like?
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    Dec 22, 2011 12:09 PM GMT
    When a relationship was coming to an end I always found myself wondering. I guess and instinct thing.
    Glad those days are gone.
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    Dec 22, 2011 12:16 PM GMT
    rnch saidmake a clean, total break with your current bf?

    or do you keep seeing him while you are looking for his replacement?

    Most of these situations are unique to the individuals. I believe you've been tenuous with this guy for some time now, haven't you?

    If it happened to me I'd try to make a clean break. Having the old BF in the picture when starting with a new guy could be awkward, to say the least, and could cause complications. Because if you don't intend to drop the old one until just as the new one comes on board, what happens if the old one keeps showing up and causing trouble?

    Better I think to break with him, and let a few months go by to make sure he's gotten the message and has really gone away, before you start bringing new guys into the picture. I broke with one guy who refused to go away quickly enough, and actually tried to interfere with my new BF and me (my future partner as it happened), and to break us up so he could return as my BF again. (I do have this hypnotic effect on men icon_rolleyes.gif )

    So with my history I'd definitely do the clean break, to clear the scene of any remnants before starting a new chapter with someone else.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 22, 2011 12:20 PM GMT
    You make a clean break.... a "replacement" should be irrelevant at the time you are in a serious relationship. He isn't a "lightbulb" that needs changing and a replacement found... it should be far more serious.

    Just my thoughts.....
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    Dec 22, 2011 12:56 PM GMT
    Pretty shallow. Seems like you might want to make a clean break and take a few months, or longer, to figure out what you really want in a BF before you just go traipsing along looking for whatever comes along next.
  • Diceroll

    Posts: 224

    Dec 22, 2011 1:22 PM GMT
    rnch saidmake a clean, total break with your current bf?

    or do you keep seeing him while you are looking for his replacement?


    In my opinion the second one shouldn't even be an option. Not only would you be staying in a situation that you're not happy with but you're wasting your bf's time as well.

    Stringing him along just because you would prefer to jump from one relationship into another is plain nasty.
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    Dec 22, 2011 1:32 PM GMT
    Extremely shallow. A question that would have been more appropriate from someone 18, not a person who would have been expected to demonstrate the results of life experience.
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    Dec 22, 2011 1:34 PM GMT
    Not just unfair to the pre-existing bf who you want to dump. What prospective new bf is going to want to be a part of this little drama? "Hey, let's get together and be partners, but not just yet. I have to keep my old bf on the string until I've broken you in and I know you're a keeper."
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    Dec 22, 2011 1:35 PM GMT
    Staying together while you look for someone else is completely disingenuous and downright despicable.
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    Dec 22, 2011 1:38 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidYou make a clean break.... a "replacement" should be irrelevant at the time you are in a serious relationship. He isn't a "lightbulb" that needs changing and a replacement found... it should be far more serious.

    Just my thoughts.....


    THIS!
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    Dec 22, 2011 1:44 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidYou make a clean break.... a "replacement" should be irrelevant at the time you are in a serious relationship. He isn't a "lightbulb" that needs changing and a replacement found... it should be far more serious.

    Just my thoughts.....


    agreed
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    Dec 22, 2011 1:51 PM GMT
    Always make a clean break. That's just the best way to do it. If things aren't going well in the relationship and it's run its course then just break it off already. No sense in being a douche and stringing your bf along until you find something better. That's just unmanly and it adds insult to injury.
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    Dec 22, 2011 2:09 PM GMT
    Clean break.
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    Dec 22, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    rnch saidmake a clean, total break with your current bf?

    or do you keep seeing him while you are looking for his replacement?



    You do how you yourself would want to be treated. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 22, 2011 2:24 PM GMT
    Clean break. But the couple of times I've ended relationships, "finding a new boyfriend" wasn't tops on my agenda. I need time between.
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    Dec 22, 2011 3:02 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    rnch saidmake a clean, total break with your current bf?

    or do you keep seeing him while you are looking for his replacement?



    Good lord, you're stupid - having to ask this at your advanced age. Do you need potty training too?

    And apparently you are a very selfish, mean person to those that are close to you.



    ...said the man in the monogamous relationship, with the A4A account, rofl.
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    Dec 22, 2011 3:07 PM GMT
    You swept in and randomly attacked rnch, who's going through something difficult, SB.

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    Dec 22, 2011 3:13 PM GMT
    rnch said
    Justtrying saidIs this a serious question? -.^




    yes it is.


    Oh ok.
    Well than I'd say it's unfair to stay with you partner whom you(someone?) obviously don't love anymore.
    It's pretty much the same thing as cheating, except that some people still love their partner while they're cheating.
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    Dec 22, 2011 3:18 PM GMT
    SB start a topic about a personal issue you're wrestling with that is non-political. If you are attacked randomly, we'll say something.

    ..and Merry Christmas, by the way. icon_wink.gif
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Dec 22, 2011 3:27 PM GMT
    RedheadedRy saidStaying together while you look for someone else is completely disingenuous and downright despicable.


    He hit the nail on the head
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    Dec 22, 2011 3:29 PM GMT


    SB, grow up. You can post in any topic you like. What you post is what it's all about. You hold us to a ludicrously high standard, so tit, as they say, for tat.

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    Dec 22, 2011 3:42 PM GMT
    meninlove said You swept in and randomly attacked rnch, who's going through something difficult, SB.

    SB's comments might have been more blunt, but they were not materially different from several other direct responses, including mine. You do seem to be prone towards singling out SB. ALL the responses in the thread were both appropriate and deserved. You don't do as the OP does, continually making snide comments about SB, and expect white glove treatment when you are having relationship issues. To paraphrase what you said in another thread, what goes around, comes around.