I've been sitting hospice for my dog...

  • honeybadger

    Posts: 128

    Dec 22, 2011 1:16 PM GMT
    And I think it might be the time I've been dreading. He has terminal cancer. Hemangiosarcoma. He was given a month to live back in May. After changing his diet and taking him to a chinese herbalogist I really believe that is what extended his life and quality of life. He's my best friend. We have such an awesome rapport. I lost my cat in March of 2010 and now I'm going through it again. I can't do this anymore. Figuring out when to make the decision is horrible. He's slow walking now and has edema in his face. Our vet says we've done all we can possibly do. He's on steroids now. They worked about a week ago but his complications have returned. I don't want to do anything but stay here with him. I've cried so much this past year.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 22, 2011 2:12 PM GMT
    Many of us have gone through this and it never gets easy. Stay with him. When you decide he is suffering or not enjoying his existence any more, you'll know it is time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 22, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    We lost our cat a couple of months back, and it's been very difficult. We were lucky in that she died at home, peacefully, in our arms. (Rare, I know.)

    My heart goes out to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 22, 2011 2:46 PM GMT
    honeybadger said, "I can't do this anymore."

    Try to consider that what you're going through now is worth all the love you've been given. icon_wink.gif


    warmly and with a huge hug,

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 22, 2011 5:02 PM GMT
    It's very understandable that you want to prolong his life but keep in mind that you're also extending his pain and suffering. Your relationship with him has always been a trade-off since you both met - lots of love, loyalty and friendship right to the end. Now is the time for you to make the ultimate sacrifice, a final gift of love from you to him - you will own his pain and release him to eternal life.

    Be with him when he goes, telling him that you love him a million times or more. He will be so grateful and relieved to know that you still love him while he is incapable to express his love for you. He will also be relieved to know that he is not breaking his commitment to you when you give him your most loving permission to leave your side and head for the light.

    From one animal lover to another, I express my utmost love and condolences to you, my friend. Peace be with you during your most difficult time.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19133

    Dec 22, 2011 5:19 PM GMT
    Honeybadger saidAnd I think it might be the time I've been dreading. He has terminal cancer. Hemangiosarcoma. He was given a month to live back in May. After changing his diet and taking him to a chinese herbalogist I really believe that is what extended his life and quality of life. He's my best friend. We have such an awesome rapport. I lost my cat in March of 2010 and now I'm going through it again. I can't do this anymore. Figuring out when to make the decision is horrible. He's slow walking now and has edema in his face. Our vet says we've done all we can possibly do. He's on steroids now. They worked about a week ago but his complications have returned. I don't want to do anything but stay here with him. I've cried so much this past year.





    I don't really believe in Hospice for dogs. If the dog's quality of life has ended, and the dog is suffering in any way, take him to the vet and have him put to sleep peacefully and painlessly. Prolonging the inevitable makes it harder on you, and is probably not really fair to the dog.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 22, 2011 7:13 PM GMT
    You have my sympathies as you prepare to say goodbye to you dog. How many of us have been through this - - - multiple times? Here are a couple of things that helped me, and may be an option for you:

    1) Sitting with my pet, calmly petting and reassuring him/her while the final shot is administered. This way the pet feels calm and well loved.

    2) Having a vet come to the house and sit with you and the pet for a bit, calmly stroking and reassuring the pet that all is well. Then, the shot is administered in the home while you're all three relaxing and talking quietly. The pet then gets to slip away while peacefully at home.

    Either way - - - what helps me immensely is to make a home for another deserving pet as soon as possible. I know my departed pet would approve, and this in no way takes away from the love and memories you shared. You're giving your love to a new pet who needs a home to call his own. It sure helps me keep from being too sad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 22, 2011 7:22 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear you're going through this. I've lost a couple of dogs to cancer, one was put down, the other died the night before we ha planned to have her put down. I must say, if you feel yours is close to the end, I highly recommend having them put down. At least in my experience, the alternative was horrible for both me and the dog. As hard as it was having the other put down, it was peaceful and seemed painless for the dog, which made the process much easier to deal with
  • honeybadger

    Posts: 128

    Dec 22, 2011 11:25 PM GMT
    zachdust saidSorry to hear you're going through this. I've lost a couple of dogs to cancer, one was put down, the other died the night before we ha planned to have her put down. I must say, if you feel yours is close to the end, I highly recommend having them put down. At least in my experience, the alternative was horrible for both me and the dog. As hard as it was having the other put down, it was peaceful and seemed painless for the dog, which made the process much easier to deal with


    He is closer now. And I won't not allow him to pass. That would be cruel and selfish. Today for the first time ever he couldn't walk upstairs. He had to be carried up. I know he's not enjoying life now. I know it is the right thing to do but it is the fucking hardest and worst thing I have ever had to do. When I said, "I can't do this anymore" I meant have another pet for a very long time. I'm not saying never but not for a very long while. Deciding when to end a life is to much power and responsibility. This kind of pain is too much for me. I am hoping his vet can come to our house next week.

    This is my Rufus (taken 3 years ago):
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 22, 2011 11:58 PM GMT
    what a beautiful dog. Reminds me of my lab who I lost a couple of years ago.

    You have to make this decision and you know it.

    It's difficult, but you'll know when it's time. When my dog started whimpering and crying, that broke my heart because he was always a happy dog and never did that. I knew it was time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2011 12:14 AM GMT
    I had to take that step with 2 of my dogs, and my current partner with his before we met. Not easy, but necessary. Infinitely harder still was authorizing the doctors to pull the life support from my late partner (I was his court-appointed guardian), and watching him die in my arms.

    Decisions in life are not always easy, but ignoring or deferring them does not make them go away. The time for you to act is now.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2011 12:16 AM GMT
    Art_Deco saidI had to take that step with 2 of my dogs, and my current partner with his before we met. Not easy, but necessary. Harder still was authorizing the doctors to pull the life support from my late partner (I was his court-appointed guardian), and watching him die in my arms.

    Decisions in life are not always easy, but ignoring or deferring them does not make them go away. The time is now.


    ----------------------------------

    Are you listed as DNR/DNI?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2011 12:17 AM GMT
    Dean_Aane said
    Art_Deco saidI had to take that step with 2 of my dogs, and my current partner with his before we met. Not easy, but necessary. Harder still was authorizing the doctors to pull the life support from my late partner (I was his court-appointed guardian), and watching him die in my arms.

    Decisions in life are not always easy, but ignoring or deferring them does not make them go away. The time is now.


    ----------------------------------

    Are you listed as DNR/DNI?

    None of your business.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2011 12:18 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    Dean_Aane said
    Art_Deco saidI had to take that step with 2 of my dogs, and my current partner with his before we met. Not easy, but necessary. Harder still was authorizing the doctors to pull the life support from my late partner (I was his court-appointed guardian), and watching him die in my arms.

    Decisions in life are not always easy, but ignoring or deferring them does not make them go away. The time is now.


    ----------------------------------

    Are you listed as DNR/DNI?

    None of your business.


    ---------------------

    Just as I thought---

    Please tell people about your drunken rant from the other nite!

    Or should I?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2011 12:29 AM GMT
    Dean_Aane said
    Art_Deco said
    Dean_Aane said
    Art_Deco saidI had to take that step with 2 of my dogs, and my current partner with his before we met. Not easy, but necessary. Harder still was authorizing the doctors to pull the life support from my late partner (I was his court-appointed guardian), and watching him die in my arms.

    Decisions in life are not always easy, but ignoring or deferring them does not make them go away. The time is now.

    ----------------------------------

    Are you listed as DNR/DNI?

    None of your business.

    ---------------------

    Just as I thought---

    Please tell people about your drunken rant from the other nite!

    Or should I?

    Please don't hijack honeybadger's thread simply because of your obsessive hatred of me. The guy is hurting, and some of us here are trying to help him, and to ease his pain.

    Now have some respect for this RJ member, and either contribute positively to the discussion at hand, or please go away.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Dec 23, 2011 12:31 AM GMT
    I lost one hound, Joey, this year.

    My ex carried our cat, Andrew, with him when he moved. I knew something was wrong when he phoned. (March 2011) Andrew had developed cancer that led to kidney failure. The ex was carrying him to the vet to euthanize him when he phoned. Andrew was in incredible pain and it was time.The pain had become greater than life.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2011 12:34 AM GMT
    i wish i could make it better for both of you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2011 12:34 AM GMT
    u r a great dad
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2011 12:36 AM GMT
    @dean
    thumbnail.aspx?q=1518629756485&id=a71041Remember when your mom used to ask you to take the garbage out. It doesn't belong here. Thank you.

    @bigeasydude. that was sweetly said dude

    @OP. I always said to my wolfpuppy since he was a puppy: "One day you're going to break my heart." He did.

    Sometimes doing what is right makes us cry.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2011 12:42 AM GMT
    Honeybadger said

    "He is closer now. And I won't not allow him to pass. That would be cruel and selfish. Today for the first time ever he couldn't walk upstairs. He had to be carried up. I know he's not enjoying life now. I know it is the right thing to do but it is the fucking hardest and worst thing I have ever had to do. When I said, "I can't do this anymore" I meant have another pet for a very long time. I'm not saying never but not for a very long while. Deciding when to end a life is to much power and responsibility. This kind of pain is too much for me. I am hoping his vet can come to our house next week."

    This is very true: " Deciding when to end a life is to much power and responsibility."

    Having volunteered in the past in palliative for pets, some pets would brave any amount of pain to be with their owners. They don't, however, always know what's best for themselves. Your plan to have the vet come to the house is one I've found to be the very best. The dog sails away surrounded by the comforts, smells (which are HUGE) and sights of Home, with the touch of those who love him.

    kindest regards,

    Very-long-time pet owners.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2011 1:18 AM GMT
    Honeybadger saidHe is closer now. And I won't not allow him to pass. That would be cruel and selfish. Today for the first time ever he couldn't walk upstairs. He had to be carried up. I know he's not enjoying life now. I know it is the right thing to do but it is the fucking hardest and worst thing I have ever had to do. When I said, "I can't do this anymore" I meant have another pet for a very long time. I'm not saying never but not for a very long while. Deciding when to end a life is to much power and responsibility. This kind of pain is too much for me. I am hoping his vet can come to our house next week.

    There's a fine line between not enjoying life and suffering. You may need to become more proactive than hoping the vet can come to your house next week. If the situation has gotten to the point, going to the vet sooner rather than waiting at least a week for the vet to come to your home would be better for your buddy, IMO.

    I went through the same thing with my buddy a couple of years ago. I had decided he would be my last so I could travel more easily without having to be concerned about boarding. That lasted 2 weeks. Got another rescue, and a new buddy. Each one is fantastic.

    All the best in this difficult time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2011 1:19 AM GMT
    so sorry to hear about your dog.i have lost several dogs...it tore my heart out..and i said i could not go through the anguish again...but then i remember that it's better to have loved and lost,than to never have loved at all....2 of my beloved dogs...Shorty and Pepper had to be put to sleep...the decision was painful..and i cried so much that my head ached...and i was sick to my stomach...but sometimes we have to let them go to their rest..it's bringing tears to my eyes now thinking about this..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2011 2:44 AM GMT
    I just hugged my chocolate lab tight.. I dread when that day will come. I think about it all the time. Honeybadger.. its time.

    Rufus will always be there, just not in physical form!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2011 3:17 AM GMT
    If he starts to whine while laying and cry while walking, that's definitely the time. If he's lethargic but seemingly happy, you can put it off for a few days if you're afraid of having to face the moment.

    However, there's a cruelty in postponing his peaceful demise for selfish reasons. If all that's preventing you from putting him down is fear of grief, you're not fulfilling your duty as a responsible owner and companion.

    He can't ask for death, and doesn't understand it. He'll continue to try to please you, come when you call and chase a ball even, if it means getting praise and treats from you. It's his way. But you're doing him no favors if you prolong his life. He needs you to be the alpha and make the call.
  • honeybadger

    Posts: 128

    Dec 23, 2011 4:38 AM GMT
    We've decided the best thing for him would be to have it done at home. I'm at peace with our decision now. It is the best thing for him. I won't allow him to suffer. We love him too much for that. We're feeling now the sooner we can alleviate his misery will be best. Unfortunately this isn't the best weekend. I will keep you guys posted. Thank you for your support and empathy.