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How do I make my boyfriend cum faster?

  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jun 14, 2008 5:01 PM GMT
    Ok, so I know this isn't the typical problem, but my boyfriend takes forever to cum. It's not that he doesn't enjoy it (from all appearances, he enjoys everything I do very much), but he's also very particular about how I go about things.

    We haven't gone all the way, and we don't plan on it for a while, so that's out of the question. We stick to oral, handjobs, and that's good enough for the both of us, but I can't seem to make him cum. I'm pretty easy, all he has to do is start stroking it and not stop, nothing complicated there.

    Now, we're both cut, but apparently his doctor decided to be mean when he was little and cut off quite a bit of skin...or maybe it just grew a lot. Either way, there's not a lot of wiggle room, if you know what I mean, so most of his action has to happen at the head. That's fine, I've gotten used to it, but I still haven't been able to make him cum. He gets as close as he can possibly get, and then it doesn't seem to matter what I do, I can't push him over that hump.

    Eventually he'll take over, just because it's torture for him, but I'd like to be able to do it myself. He says it's fine, that he doesn't mind, but I do. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. Any pointers?
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jun 14, 2008 5:18 PM GMT
    Well - a couple of suggestions......When you're sucking him off, make it very wet, and jack him simultaneously. Twirl your tongue all over the head; switch back and forth to his balls, eat out his ass, moan while you do all of this, and look up into his eyes sometimes to let him know how sweet he tastes.

    Aside from that, let him fuck you soon - with lots of lube - turn yourself into a real power bottom - and just fuck the shit out of each other. Betcha he'll come now!
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jun 14, 2008 5:39 PM GMT
    If you've been using water based lube - try a lube like wet platinum, or something else that's silicone based and won't dry out while jackin'

  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jun 14, 2008 5:49 PM GMT
    You are asking the wrong people. Everyone is different what gets you off can be entirely different from what gets him off. Ask him what feels good, ask him how he gets off, indulge his fantasies and fetishes.

    Also, be ready for the possibility that you cant get him off. He may only be able to cum by jerking himself off.

    Finally, ask him how he jerks off. I am willing to be he has been gripping his cock like he is trying to choke it. He may have to train himself to get off by other forms of stimulation. For example, use a lighter grip, get a masturbation aid, us his less dominant hand, etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jun 14, 2008 6:29 PM GMT
    ok i am vey much like your boyfriend: i can only cum while either in the actual act of sex or if i do it myself. some guys get really disturbed by this, but honestly just having a guy i really like next to me and stroke/suck me for a while is perfect even if i am getting myself off or i just forego the whole thing. he doesnt like youany less because you cant get him there, and i seriously doubt any guy actually can.just be with him, and dont make this non-issue an issue.

    i would just add to your technique by saying also work the shaft, even though the skin moves with your hand it still feels good. uncircumcized guys still stroke the shaft and too much stimulation to just the head may be overwhelming for him which could be why he isnt cumming.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jun 14, 2008 9:06 PM GMT
    He may have a physical issue (e.g. enlarged prostate). I know one guy who can only cum when he is being f***ked. He needs his prostate massaged.

    Anytime I had trouble in the past (fortunately rare) it was due to starting to think about it and worrying about my partner getting tired. Thinking and sex do not go well together.
  • MuchMoreThanM... Posts: 20968
    QUOTE Jun 14, 2008 9:41 PM GMT
    Have him sit on one of these. Works every time!

    But make sure NOT to include Fido during this torrid act or I'll be forced to call and report the both of you to Animal Protective Services.

  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jun 15, 2008 12:42 AM GMT
    OMG you want him to have an orgasm, not get split in two!
  • GQjock Posts: 11625
    QUOTE Jun 15, 2008 2:56 AM GMT
    Coupla things you can do...
    First... if you know what he likes
    get him all sweated up from lots and lots of foreplay
    by then he'll be ready to POP

    also ... while you're blowing him and stroking him let him help you
    he might be used to a certain touch or pressure
    if he shows you how you'll be able to get him off faster
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jun 15, 2008 10:21 PM GMT
    No advice, sorry, just loads of sympathy. I've been in that situation before (arm cramping), and it's not my cup of tea.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jun 20, 2008 12:18 AM GMT
    Split in two? That dildo isn't so big. When I want to hurry up the ejaculation process I lightly massage his balls and firmly press a finger into his perineum, while working it with my mouth or booty. That seems to speed things along pretty good.


  • swimbikerun Posts: 2835
    QUOTE Jun 20, 2008 12:50 AM GMT
    Would you upload a video to Xtube so we can all see exactly where the problem is?
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jun 20, 2008 12:55 AM GMT
    I'll have to email this thread to a couple ex's to show them I'm not unique...

    I also have to bring myself off almost every time. It is very rare that I can cum from topping, getting a blow job, or hand job from the other guy. I think with me it is mostly a sensitivity issue from being circumcised. It doesn't bother me though it has bothered partners in the past because they thought they weren't pleasing me (when nothing could be further from the truth).

    Prostate stimulation is one way to increase your chances. Either use a toy or a finger to massage his prostate when you're going down in him. Odds are much better that he'll pop off in short order.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jun 20, 2008 2:43 AM GMT
    I find prostate massage kind of hit or miss with a guy. Some guys really get off nicely, like I do and some guys feel like they're about to shit and don't like it at all, the stiffy goes away quickly then. It's worth experimenting with though. Usually, most tops I do are not accomplished bottoms and aren't following the bottom protocal, so I suggest you wear surgical gloves, or at least a condom on your finger.

  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Sep 13, 2009 11:05 PM GMT
    My BF is also a pretty slower cummer...if at all. Many times it will happen for me and even after an hour he still isn't ready and would rather stop. However he seems satisfied with that.

    All of that being said the one thing I did need to learn was what worked for him. The best way to do that was watch him jack off. Not just once. But like sit next to each other and watch porn and jack off. And vow not to help each other. Each one jacks themselves. This way you can learn what he does to make himself...well...happy.

  • southbeach150... Posts: 20956
    QUOTE Sep 14, 2009 12:22 AM GMT
    I just noticed this thread... and that it's been around for a while, so I don't know if the original poster still reads these or not but anyway...

    The best way to actually fix the problem is to go through foreskin restoration. Your boyfriend currently has a cock that is compromised in the following ways:

    1) No slack skin (as you wrote in your original post)

    2) Cock head exposed all the time, which is slowly desensitizing it

    3) Inner foreskin tissue missing which, when present, also provides sexual stimulation.

    Non-surgical foreskin restoration does work... it just takes a few years to grow enough skin to cover the head of the cock, so anyone doing this has to be persistent and patient.

    A good place to start would be to visit: www.norm.org

    And yes, I am a "restorer" myself.... about half way there after almost 2 years... :-)