falling for a friend.

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    Dec 23, 2011 6:02 PM GMT
    So its offfical, I'm 100% head over heels for a guy who will never see me that way, what makes it worse is that we are great friends. I met him at the start of summer and our friendship kind of was hyperdrive since then, we love all the same nerdy shit we both love discussing social isssues, he's super smart, and he is the first person Ive ever really opened up to. When I introduced him to my group of friends it.only got better, our group felt complete and everything was great. Then oneday we are hanging out and I'm looking at him and its like I'm seeing something I've never seen before and that's when it happened, this ridiculous act of " your my friend and I would never ruin that". Well I made the silly choice of telling him how I felt, he was understanding and told me he wasn't interested and hoped it wouldn't affect our relationship, it didn't (it was still early in my crush). I dropped it and thought I was over it...then he tells me he needs to talk and Im the only one he can talk to, in short he tells me him and another friend of mine have a thing going on but he feels weird about it blah blah blah, I already figured this out but at this point I still felt like shit...so I overcompensate by being the super positive and supportive person I didn't want to be at the momemt.

    Now their dating...now I have to watch them slow dance on the dance floor, and now I feel like a shit friend because I don't think I can be around them anymore.

    This is exactly why I've avoided dating all this time, my life is complicated and painful enough already, I don't need to deal with feelings and situations I've never felt/dealt with before.(clarification edit, I'm not implying we ever dated or even came close to it, we didn't).

    Anyway I'm not looking for advice(maybe I am) but it'd be nice to hear other stories of similair situations so that I know I'm not crazy (or suffering from some kind of martyr complex)
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    Dec 23, 2011 7:21 PM GMT
    Also what's the protocol for telling someone you need distance? Is that even the right thing to do in this situation or should I just keep quite and decline invitations to hang?
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    Dec 23, 2011 7:22 PM GMT
    I don't recommend it, but you only live once!
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    Dec 23, 2011 7:22 PM GMT
    Just get busy for a while man, it happens. Reconnect with him in like a month but get some distance to get over him, otherwise you will get heartbroken.
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    Dec 23, 2011 7:31 PM GMT
    Dude, I (and lots of others) know almost exactly how shit that kind of situation feels. I liked my really attractive straight friend once, and all his girlfriends were my arch-enemies.

    All I can say is, you will almost definitely get over it. It's tough, but it can't happen between you and this guy now, so move on. You will find someone, and you'll be happy. For now, you're just gonna have to suck it up around your friends I'm afraid.
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    Dec 23, 2011 7:40 PM GMT
    Chainers saidJust get busy for a while man, it happens. Reconnect with him in like a month but get some distance to get over him, otherwise you will get heartbroken.


    But how can you be heartbroken when you were never more than friends? I'm so out of my depth here.