Bisexual men & Down-low.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2011 5:19 PM GMT
    Ive noticed the amount of bisexual men on the down low on sites like craigslist, a4a, and other sites more. Why are there soo many? and alot of them claim being 100% straight in real life and some even have wives and kids! It's so unfair to their wives.icon_biggrin.gif

    I realize i'm not fullly yet, but i would never do this!! And i plan on coming out fully soon.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2011 5:27 PM GMT
    I prefer not to go down-low... I mean.. well I like going down... I mean... getting down.. ehm.. never mind... icon_redface.gif
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Dec 24, 2011 5:31 PM GMT
    There is no such thing as straight or gay. Everyone is bisexual.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2011 5:43 PM GMT
    monet saidThere is no such thing as straight or gay. Everyone is bisexual.


    This is a lie.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2011 5:53 PM GMT
    It's the expectations people have, their conditioning from society, and inability to overcome fear.
    What I've seen is guys who are conservative, right wing, republicans, law students, frat guys, athletes, and/or guys blessed with amazing bodies they tend to stay with women because they cannot let themselves be fully open with another man either in public or private.

    Then there is this: 1 in ever 10 men who identify as straight, who are single, have a girlfriend, or are married to a woman, have admitted to having sex with a man in the last year. Why? Simply put, there are sexual needs that the woman cannot meet, such as anal sex, and the man refuses to tell the woman about this need, causing the down-low lifestyle.

    It's the lack of education really, as well as generalization and classification. There is Gay, Straight, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual, Pan-Sexual, Ambi-Sexual, Omni-Sexual, Transgender, etc. What everyone has to do is get rid of the label and just admit what they specifically want from who.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2011 6:01 PM GMT
    They say one in ten men are gay. This has been a satistical fact that has not been challenged. So? Where are all the gays then? Everyone can find the flamers but where are the rest of the 10 percent? Sadly, they are married or in a straight relationship and get what they really want on the side. Personally I don't feel bad for the woman because there are no victims here. You don't help set up a anti-gay society and then cry foul because people are not strong enough to face society's wrath for being who they are. Over coming the need to be accepted by other people and Learning to be complete with your own acceptance, gay or straight, is one of the hardest more elusive lessons to learn. Until our society learns to be more open, gay men hiding behind a woman will be the result. Congrats on your bravery for coming out.
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    Dec 24, 2011 6:23 PM GMT
    stevst saidIve noticed the amount of bisexual men on the down low on sites like craigslist, a4a, and other sites more. Why are there soo many? and alot of them claim being 100% straight in real life and some even have wives and kids! It's so unfair to their wives.icon_biggrin.gif

    I realize i'm not fullly yet, but i would never do this!! And i plan on coming out fully soon.


    As a married bi guy I can say that I definitely agree with some that was said. Props to you for having the strength to come out. I can't say its do cut and dry or easy for me. I was a much different person than I am today when j was younger. I was very much into making others happy and being the good son and doing everything that was asked of me. Though I knew I had feelings for men, living in a super conservative small town on top of my do what is expected attitude led me down the path I am on. Now 14 yrs later I do have kids as well but I have only been able to experience what my heart wanted for the last 3 years or so. Does it mean I don't live the wife or family? No not at all. In fact if I had to do over not sure is change anything because my kids are everything. I also do love my wife she's my best friend...just don't have that 'sigh' feeling that you hear about when you are with your true love. I love her more as a friend than a lover. I just made a conscious decision that what they need in their lives is more important than what I need in my life all the time. So...I stay on the DL and only meet MH friends when I'm away from home. Now if I meet someone that makes me reconsider my decision...I'm not closing that door.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2011 6:35 PM GMT
    monet saidThere is no such thing as straight or gay. Everyone is bisexual.
    There's no such thing as black or white. Everyone is gray.
    There's no such thing as right or wrong. Everyone is correct.
    There's no such thing as up or down. Everyone is floating.
    There's no such thing as paper or plastic. Everyone is fiberglass.

    Wow. All of these sound profound. I am smart.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 24, 2011 7:14 PM GMT
    stevst saidIve noticed the amount of bisexual men on the down low on sites like craigslist, a4a, and other sites more. Why are there soo many? and alot of them claim being 100% straight in real life and some even have wives and kids! It's so unfair to their wives.icon_biggrin.gif

    I realize i'm not fullly yet, but i would never do this!! And i plan on coming out fully soon.
    well just like you have your reasons for not coming out. they have there reasons for cheating and being douches
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2011 7:35 PM GMT
    Why no one dondt want to speak whit me i jusy want to fond guyfor on line srx
  • Into_Fitness

    Posts: 8

    Dec 24, 2011 7:37 PM GMT
    as long as our society is telling and judging men who love men that you are abnormal, not-normal, pervert, sick, sinful, sinner, going to hell, less than others...we are going to feel shameful of your feelings and afraid of beeing rejected, that's why some men decide to keep it a secret or on the DL. or never make a full transition and remain bisexual, or some men are really bisexual and enjoy sex with both genders. Who are we to judge. I understand that for some guys the comming out is extremelly hard and never do it, they rather settle for what they think is a " normal life " and have a wife and kids.The fear and shame is more powerful than the need to be who they really are openly. I still havent met any man who keeps this double life a secret a happy or totally content man, or not feeling some kind of guilt for what they do and how they lie. one of my favorite frases is: WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS. AND WHAT I DO IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.

    goods luck to all those men who decide to come out and live their lives openly and without fear. I applaude your braveness. and good luck to those who cannot do it. to each his own.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2011 8:02 PM GMT
    callen12345 saidI stay on the DL and only meet MH friends when I'm away from home.
    Since you play on the DL, think about erasing the digital footprints from your phone and computer. These will come back to haunt you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2011 8:14 PM GMT
    As long as there are people, there will be some in the closet.

    As long as there are people, there will be cheating.
  • Trepeat

    Posts: 546

    Dec 24, 2011 8:17 PM GMT
    I've always wondered how many of the guys supposedly on the DL actually believe that their girlfriends/wives don't suspect or know. I'm sure some guys are so sneaky and unsuspecting that they can fly under the radar, but when you know someone as well you would after years of being in an intimate relationship, I have trouble believing that you wouldn't start picking up on the signs ("Woah, honey, you sure spend a lot of time at the gym just to keep your body insane for me..").
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2011 8:48 PM GMT
    monet saidThere is no such thing as straight or gay. Everyone is bisexual.



    We're not, so there goes that theory.
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    Dec 24, 2011 9:07 PM GMT
    I refer to these people as simple "cowards". They choose to live their lives they way they do, to put their wives and children through such turmoil only to please their need for male affection.

    I have no sympathy for such people. Once someone has a family, that family should come first.
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    Dec 24, 2011 9:08 PM GMT
    Bustamante saidI refer to these people as simple "cowards". They choose to live their lives they way they do, to put their wives and children through such turmoil only to please their need for male affection.

    I have no sympathy for such people. Once someone has a family, that family should come first.


    DITTO.
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    Dec 24, 2011 9:16 PM GMT
    I don't care what society says about homosexuals. If a man has issues with his sexuality and still decides to live a "normal" life, procreate and get married. He has simply kneeled to social normals and is taking a family down with him when he decides to "come out" in some years.

    This angers me to no end. I don't see how one can live with such a double life. I fail to see how this isn't the epitome of selfishness. I suppose at the very least wait till the damn kids are older and can understand.icon_evil.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Dec 24, 2011 9:30 PM GMT
    A lot guys will fuck a hole in the ground if it was tight enough...not surprised...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2011 9:36 PM GMT
    It's the shady side to bisexuality, were many of their sins falls on us gays, and not the straight community. Funny a man can have a wife kids, been found down on his knees in a public toilet with another male, and they right there and then get labeled "GAY!" Yet just as they were never straight rather pseudo, the same must be said about them beging gay; well they're really not either you know. Just as bi is not straight it's not gay either; bi is bi.

    I ponder how many of these families are devastated by such actions being made public, about a family man (not all republicans) being found out to swing both ways. Or to come home one day declaring I've met Steve and we are in love. Yes bisexuality and it's down low indeed.

    The protection my Gay Gold Card provides.
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    Dec 24, 2011 9:45 PM GMT
    stevst saidIve noticed the amount of bisexual men on the down low on sites like craigslist, a4a, and other sites more. Why are there soo many? and alot of them claim being 100% straight in real life and some even have wives and kids! It's so unfair to their wives.icon_biggrin.gif

    I realize i'm not fullly yet, but i would never do this!! And i plan on coming out fully soon.


    If they're married and on the DL, it's because they're despicable.

    Gay, straight, or bi, be a man of your word and live with the consequences of your decisions.

    Incidentally, this is what I never understood about how Brokeback Mountain was a romantic love story. It's the same premise: guy breaks his oaths to wife and family to get his dick wet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2011 9:56 PM GMT
    Bi can get you labelled as a jackass. Fun times. ;)
  • charmr

    Posts: 233

    Dec 24, 2011 11:37 PM GMT
    eri399 saidWhy no one dondt want to speak whit me i jusy want to fond guyfor on line srx
    RESIZED TEXT GOES HERERESIZED TEXT GOES HERE

    Because you don't know how to type in readable English, and you probably don't know how to speak properly either [at least that's what your typing conveys to others]; and further that most guys want real sex or a relationship, not cyber-sex. You may find other sites where cyber-sex is prevalent, but you need to select those sites carefully.
  • charmr

    Posts: 233

    Dec 24, 2011 11:45 PM GMT
    Suecer said
    monet saidThere is no such thing as straight or gay. Everyone is bisexual.


    This is a lie.


    RESIZED TEXT GOES HERE

    It is not entirely a lie, tho it sometimes seems so. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is totally gay and 10 is totally straight, your conception is correct that many if not most guys [and gals] fall within the 2 to 8 range, but SOME are 1's and 10's. However I cannot fathom how any man who advertises for male-male sex on a gay sex site can call himself "straight". It is probably a disingenuous way of saying that he is VERY closeted and appears to be straight to most of the people that know him --- or at least he THINKS he does!
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Dec 24, 2011 11:57 PM GMT
    Well you must be on a4a, craigslist or whatever, and your profile says you have a girlfriend, don't you think that's unfair?