• Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 15, 2008 6:12 AM GMT
    My question comes from another forum I just read.

    A few weeks ago I was on break with some coworkers and they were smoking. Well they brought up different ways people smoke and one guy mentioned someone who used to work with us. Claims to be straight but is clearly on both sides of the fence.

    Anyway one guy was saying he had trouble talking to him because he would hold his cigarette like a woman. Several of them agreed, which I thought was funny since they were good friends with him. Someone made the comment of "how gay he was" and one of them looked at me. I guess they were expecting me to react. I was a few feet away.

    They all know I'm gay, and don't have a problem with it but when they joke around they'll say things to each other.

    I guess I'm curious as to why they do that. I was upset once but I only had more questions. That incident was two guys, from Jamaica, kept calling each other "batty boy" in an effiminate way. Once I found out what it meant I got pretty pissed. I just don't get it.
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    Jun 15, 2008 6:31 AM GMT
    In the case of the smokers, I would say the guy who could speak to him has a very strong and rigged definition of how a man acts. He obviously has a hard time reconciling instances that dont match his rigged definition. It would be interesting to know how psychology describes someone like that.

    The other guys with the batty boy are just immature. It is still fun for them to make fun of others and say naughty words.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Jun 15, 2008 6:35 AM GMT
    Unfortunately it's human nature for some poeple. They try to feel better about themselves by making fun of others, or things that make them uncomfortable. I'm sure these guys are not perfect.
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    Jun 15, 2008 12:19 PM GMT
    I think it's conditioning. I have a dear friend whom I used to work with. I get together with her once in awhile for lunch. She knows I'm gay and loves that in me. I think it endears me to her, why I have no idea but she can confide in me and feel safe.

    One day in conversation we were catching up and were discussing relationships. She made the comment, "No, I mean 'normal' relationships", then realized what she said and had that look of anxiety. I just laughed and
    told her I wasn't offended, and I really wasn't offended. Straight people just don't understand what it is to be in our skin. It's fogivable.