Does "distance" matter that much ?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2011 1:17 PM GMT
    I know long-distance love sounds crazy and impossible..But in real life indeed there are plenty of coucples who share the long-distance relationship.....I do not know why I am still convinced that distance will not be problem for true love ,though I have been told many time that "I am looking for local guys or around" ,when chatting with others...

    What do you think ? Will you give up the guy you think is the one in your life just because of the long distance?

    I am glad to hear your opinions . Thanks everyone in advance...
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    Dec 25, 2011 2:13 PM GMT
    I did it, dating a guy 1500 miles from me. But we both never intended it to be permanent, one way or the other, either moving in together or calling if off. When he proposed to me on one of my trips there I accepted and moved in with him. Later we got a bigger place to call our home.
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    Dec 25, 2011 2:31 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidI did it, dating a guy 1500 miles from me. But we both never intended it to be permanent, one way or the other, either moving in together or calling if off. When he proposed to me on one of my trips there I accepted and moved in with him. Later we got a bigger place to call our home.



    sweet storyicon_smile.gif
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    Dec 25, 2011 2:32 PM GMT
    Trollileo saidIt's doable. More often than not it fails, but that's no reason not to give it a shot if you want to make it work.


    yeah it's true
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    Dec 25, 2011 3:36 PM GMT
    distance absolutely does matter. seriously. it fucking sucks, actually.
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    Dec 25, 2011 5:54 PM GMT
    Long Disance Relationship = Pen Pal.
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    Dec 25, 2011 5:55 PM GMT
    it's doable if you have the resources.

    trust is a big thing for it as well.

    and the true, burning, deep desiring love has to exist
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    Dec 25, 2011 5:56 PM GMT
    running11 saidit's doable if you have the resources.

    trust is a big thing for it as well.

    and the true, burning, deep desiring love has to exist


    "trust".. that hit the nail on the head. That's what it's about
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    Dec 25, 2011 5:58 PM GMT
    it's doable. i'm currently in one now and i do get those days where i'm just tired of the distance and want to end it but then when we see each other again, all those feelings disappear.

    it really is up to the people involved and how much you trust each other
  • ohioguy12

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    Dec 25, 2011 6:03 PM GMT
    If I liked somone who lived a long distance, I'd be willing to give it a chance. Many long distance relationships don't work out, but also many close distance relationships don't work.
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    Dec 25, 2011 6:54 PM GMT
    Tried it, hated it, they're not for me.

    But...

    Most advice-givers say that long-distance can work, but that the determining factor is whether there's a defined interval of time that it's expected to be long-distance. LD relationships where it's just open-ended, tend to fare worse because the relationship stalls eventually with no end in sight. I've known people who have had great LD relationships but every single one of them had a defined date/event when it would end BEFORE the distance separation began.
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    Dec 25, 2011 6:57 PM GMT
    no it does not matter
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    Dec 25, 2011 7:08 PM GMT
    They are a lot of work. It is like having half a relationship, because when you go to bed at night you are still by yourself. Basically, it is better than being single but not as good as a regular relationship because you aren't getting all of your needs met.
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    Dec 25, 2011 7:10 PM GMT
    AssMan123 saidThey are a lot of work. It is like having half a relationship, because when you go to bed at night you are still by yourself. Basically, it is better than being single but not as good as a regular relationship because you aren't getting all of your needs met.


    i think you can get all your needs met... it's about being able to function on your own, and also being able to function when with that person.

    but i'm in a unique situation with my ldr so i guess i see it differently.

    they are work... a lot of work but worth it for the right person.
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    Dec 25, 2011 7:23 PM GMT
    running11 said
    AssMan123 saidThey are a lot of work. It is like having half a relationship, because when you go to bed at night you are still by yourself. Basically, it is better than being single but not as good as a regular relationship because you aren't getting all of your needs met.


    i think you can get all your needs met... it's about being able to function on your own, and also being able to function when with that person.

    but i'm in a unique situation with my ldr so i guess i see it differently.

    they are work... a lot of work but worth it for the right person.


    I don't know about all a person's needs. We can agree that LDRs aren't optimal relationships.

    Personally, I avoid guys that I know will be moving or ones that don't live within driving distance. I'm just not able to be happy in a relationship if the person isn't around. They could be the best guy in the world, but at the end of the day I'm not happy having to skype the dude just to see his face.

    However, as with any relationship things aren't just black and white. I guess all we can do is just give our advice to the OP.
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    Dec 25, 2011 7:31 PM GMT
    I actually have a friend that married her now husband after meeting online and corresponding from America to China. It is a rare and totally romantic scenario.
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    Dec 25, 2011 7:46 PM GMT
    AssMan123 said
    running11 said
    AssMan123 saidThey are a lot of work. It is like having half a relationship, because when you go to bed at night you are still by yourself. Basically, it is better than being single but not as good as a regular relationship because you aren't getting all of your needs met.


    i think you can get all your needs met... it's about being able to function on your own, and also being able to function when with that person.

    but i'm in a unique situation with my ldr so i guess i see it differently.

    they are work... a lot of work but worth it for the right person.


    I don't know about all a person's needs. We can agree that LDRs aren't optimal relationships.

    Personally, I avoid guys that I know will be moving or ones that don't live within driving distance. I'm just not able to be happy in a relationship if the person isn't around. They could be the best guy in the world, but at the end of the day I'm not happy having to skype the dude just to see his face.

    However, as with any relationship things aren't just black and white. I guess all we can do is just give our advice to the OP.


    and LIKE I SAID,

    i'm in a unique situation so I feel differently about it.
  • SouthAthlete

    Posts: 51

    Dec 25, 2011 7:51 PM GMT
    Distance does matter. However, it shouldnt be the determing factor. I was in a relationship with a guy for over 7 months and ended it because we both just couldnt do it. Its not easy. You gotta think, can you deal with being away from the one person you care about the most for long periods of time?
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    Dec 25, 2011 7:52 PM GMT
    bryanc_74 saidTried it, hated it, they're not for me.

    But...

    Most advice-givers say that long-distance can work, but that the determining factor is whether there's a defined interval of time that it's expected to be long-distance. LD relationships where it's just open-ended, tend to fare worse because the relationship stalls eventually with no end in sight. I've known people who have had great LD relationships but every single one of them had a defined date/event when it would end BEFORE the distance separation began.


    i agree, something like a 6-month military deployment would be more do-able.
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    Dec 25, 2011 8:14 PM GMT



    Distance does matter... Regardless of how hard you work at it. Emotions can run deep and sometimes not always for the better. Best solution is to stay optimistic and never over compensate feelings for the lack of distance, enjoy what you have and let the feelings flourish and bind for a strong friendship....icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 25, 2011 8:18 PM GMT
    I always thought LDRs never worked I've been 100% against them.
    But my brother has been in one for 2 years then 6 months ago moved in with his gf.
    He proposed last month.
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    Dec 25, 2011 8:24 PM GMT
    They can work only if you have a possible future together. If there is no chance of you ever being together then you shouldn't even bother. You have to be able to live on your own and also be able to incorporate them in your life. They are a ton of work and sometimes its really difficult. If you really want it to work and you both are trustworthy and able to restrain temptations then there is no reason it can't work out.
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    Dec 25, 2011 11:12 PM GMT
    I hope LDR works icon_smile.gif. It's basically my only option icon_razz.gif
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Dec 26, 2011 12:14 AM GMT
    Well it depends on the relationship, the distance and the length of time. You may have to negtiate terms.

    I used to have a fuck buddy in a long distance relationship. They dated for 2 years then the guy moved to Boston (from the Midwest) for a 3 year grad program. They decided to have a open relationship sexually while apart but emotionally were still a couple. The guy was honest with me about it from the beginning and we had hot sex a few times a week for a few months, he was my rebound guy after a serious relationship. When the boyfriend graduated and moved back he told me and broke it off immediately...2 years later I ran into him at Pride (we were both still polite & friendly to one another) and they were still together and happily living in ahouse they bought in the suburbs.

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    Dec 26, 2011 12:19 AM GMT
    danlees saidDoes "distance" matter that much ?
    Is that a cleverly disguised way of asking if size matters? icon_razz.gif