Pleasure Problem

  • Robby31

    Posts: 11

    Dec 26, 2011 12:02 AM GMT
    Ok, I'll try to keep this as short, sweet, and to the point as I can.

    I have self-esteem/arosal issues when it comes to sex. Primarily its because im somewhat short changed (I'm only like 5 inches at most), and I'm too embarassed to get an erection or stay hard long. I tried to compensate for my size and embarassment by being a bottom. I've got a pretty large, strong, and highly acclaimed ass (or so guys have said) so I'm definately a phyiscal bottom.

    The problem is that I CANNOT get hard if something is inserted up there. Its an erection killer for me. And since topping would be humiliating and I'm too prideful to do it, I'm kinda stuck.

    My main concern is being a good sex partner. After erectile disfunction (via shame) during sex in the past, I've given up on having pleasure myself. However I want the guy I'm with, especially a future bf, to have the best sex possible. I'm working on being a good, wild, and energetic bottom, and using my hands to turn him on as much as I can, but I'm wondering if ignoring myself will turn him off. Especially since there's the likely chance I wont get hard at all, and wont anything out of it. Like I said, I'm totally fine with staying soft during sex, but would that turn you off if you were the other guy? Or is this a safe strategy?

    Thanks! icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2011 12:08 AM GMT
    Viagra or some other medical treatment may help overcome the erectile dysfunction.

    Doing what you dig will also help overcome the erectile dysfunction. Don't try to be what you're not. If you love to bottom, then be the best bottom you can be. If you don't like it at all, then why bother.

    Also, a sex therapist may be able to help you to overcome your challenges.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2011 12:18 AM GMT
    Do something like this, but gay themed: http://www.mr-smalldick.com/
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Dec 26, 2011 1:30 AM GMT
    I think maybe you should go to a therapist or counselor if you are able to. These sound like some deep and deeply personal issues that need some work.

    Keep in mind 5" is not that small, average penis size is 5.5" for an adult human male. Don't let porn and guys exaggerating online fool you. You are for sure in normal range, there is a condition called "micro penis" and those guy are much smaller than you.

    Also, tons of guys, especially inexperienced bottom, don't want to be fucked by a huge dick. I wish my boyfriend had a smaller dick, if he did I'd let him fuck me way more often. If you look online for guys that are curious about bottoming but never tried it you will find most of them want an average (like yours) or even a small penis (smaller than yours).


    You should feel lucky that having a penis that is just about average size is all that you are dealin with. Read this sex advice article and then let us know if your feelings have changed

    http://www.avclub.com/articles/october-5-2011,62784/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2011 1:47 AM GMT
    5 inches is right in the average range, except on the internet, where all gay men are way above average, until you actually meet them.
    Guys get crazy about their dicks and any guy who keeps asking me if he measures up starts to bore me very quickly. We have what we have, learn to do something incredible with it and no one will care how big it is.
  • DesireIron

    Posts: 426

    Dec 26, 2011 1:51 AM GMT
    You're not short. And if anybody asks you how big you are, just tell him that you have enough to have fun with, but nobody gets hurt! ... icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    DesireIron saidYou're not short. And if anybody asks you how big you are, just tell him that you have enough to have fun with, but nobody gets hurt! ... icon_wink.gif


    I really like this!!!
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Dec 26, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    Best line I ever heard: "I don't call them small, I call them user friendly"
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Dec 26, 2011 2:14 AM GMT
    Point one: it's better to have a good hard five inches than ten inches that always remains a sponge.

    Point two: it's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean.

    Six inches is average by the way. You are not far under that.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 26, 2011 2:15 AM GMT
    Robby31 saidOk, I'll try to keep this as short, sweet, and to the point as I can.

    I have self-esteem/arosal issues when it comes to sex. Primarily its because im somewhat short changed (I'm only like 5 inches at most), and I'm too embarassed to get an erection or stay hard long. I tried to compensate for my size and embarassment by being a bottom. I've got a pretty large, strong, and highly acclaimed ass (or so guys have said) so I'm definately a phyiscal bottom.

    The problem is that I CANNOT get hard if something is inserted up there. Its an erection killer for me. And since topping would be humiliating and I'm too prideful to do it, I'm kinda stuck.

    My main concern is being a good sex partner. After erectile disfunction (via shame) during sex in the past, I've given up on having pleasure myself. However I want the guy I'm with, especially a future bf, to have the best sex possible. I'm working on being a good, wild, and energetic bottom, and using my hands to turn him on as much as I can, but I'm wondering if ignoring myself will turn him off. Especially since there's the likely chance I wont get hard at all, and wont anything out of it. Like I said, I'm totally fine with staying soft during sex, but would that turn you off if you were the other guy? Or is this a safe strategy?

    Thanks! icon_smile.gif
    Bro, you need to seek some professional help. I am not trying to be mean or rude. I am being honest. Dude, there is nothing wrong with your size. The average size penis is about 5 to 6 inches. I think you should seek out professional help with this issue.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2011 2:32 AM GMT
    Anal is far from being the end all, be all for sex between men. You don't have to pick either or if both options make you uncomfortable.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2011 2:53 AM GMT
    5" isn't small. You're average. Welcome to the club.icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2011 3:33 AM GMT
    Sounds like you have had tops that don't know a thing about what they are doing... its pretty common. The best tops I know have bottomed. I've done both and NEVER had complaints. I wouldn't worry about your size persay because you don't need a lot for stimulation. It's in your head.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2011 3:49 AM GMT
    Topping is NOT out of the question. You got what you got and there is no way to realistically change it. Accept it and own it! If you show off confidence, I doubt guys will have an issue or even notice your size. 5 inches isn't small anyways. There is plenty you can do with it.

    There are lots of guys who have dick size way down their list of things that matter when looking for a bf, etc. Don't think every guy just wants to be torn open by a 9 inch dick because that couldn't be further from the truth
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2011 3:55 AM GMT
    KSUOWL saidTopping is NOT out of the question. You got what you got and there is no way to realistically change it. Accept it and own it! If you show off confidence, I doubt guys will have an issue or even notice your size. 5 inches isn't small anyways. There is plenty you can do with it.

    There are lots of guys who have dick size way down their list of things that matter when looking for a bf, etc. Don't think every guy just wants to be torn open by a 9 inch dick because that couldn't be further from the truth

    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2011 5:34 AM GMT
    Robby31 saidOk, I'll try to keep this as short, sweet, and to the point as I can.

    I have self-esteem/arosal issues when it comes to sex. Primarily its because im somewhat short changed (I'm only like 5 inches at most), and I'm too embarassed to get an erection or stay hard long. I tried to compensate for my size and embarassment by being a bottom. I've got a pretty large, strong, and highly acclaimed ass (or so guys have said) so I'm definately a phyiscal bottom.

    The problem is that I CANNOT get hard if something is inserted up there. Its an erection killer for me. And since topping would be humiliating and I'm too prideful to do it, I'm kinda stuck.

    My main concern is being a good sex partner. After erectile disfunction (via shame) during sex in the past, I've given up on having pleasure myself. However I want the guy I'm with, especially a future bf, to have the best sex possible. I'm working on being a good, wild, and energetic bottom, and using my hands to turn him on as much as I can, but I'm wondering if ignoring myself will turn him off. Especially since there's the likely chance I wont get hard at all, and wont anything out of it. Like I said, I'm totally fine with staying soft during sex, but would that turn you off if you were the other guy? Or is this a safe strategy?

    Thanks! icon_smile.gif



    is this for real?

    did some guy tease you about your cock size or is this just your own mental thing? If so you are your own enemy. Shave back the pubes and nuts. That will give you the illusion of more length. Since you are connected to the internet you do know how to find out for sure what the true average size of a guys hard cock is right? You aren't too small. Not every gay man is 7, 8, and 9 inchs. as they claim. If that all fails I think there may be a few real fat 40 plus women willing to marry you. Don't worry. Since you can't get it up and she won't ever want you to see her naked all you'd have to be is a good communicator and able to hit up the local mini mart for a few munchie runs icon_smile.gif.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2011 6:23 AM GMT
    Hey Robby31,

    sorry to hear about your issues. Sex should be a pleasurable experience and not something we dread.

    I'm no expert but I think your issue might be both physiological and psychological.

    ED can stem from the fear of performance, if you're scared that you might not perform, or perform well, you've already lost half the battle. Experiencing intimidation (because of various factors, in your case it might be because of your view of your penis size) is like a flicking a switch off in your mind which can ultimately lead to not getting an erection. You can speak to a psychologist or 'sexoligist' to overcome this.

    Physiologically speaking, I know a few guys who say they cannot get an erection when they are bottoming, something about the pressure down there. So you're not alone in this one. I would suggest experimenting with different positions to see what effect that has on your erection but, ultimately I would try and solve the psychological issues you might have as that might solve the physiological aspect.


    Good luck! We all deserve great sexicon_smile.gif

  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Dec 26, 2011 8:09 AM GMT
    jackthejock saidKeep in mind 5" is not that small, average penis size is 5.5" for an adult human male. Don't let porn and guys exaggerating online fool you. You are for sure in normal range, there is a condition called "micro penis" and those guy are much smaller than you.


    ^this. I'm 6 inches. that's all, and in all honesty, there's only one person I've bet "bigger" than me, and only a few as big, and we haven't even done anything yet (conflicting timetables for mr. big).

    psst, 5 inches is plenty big enough to hit the prostate, which is where the fun is ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2011 8:32 AM GMT
    Robby31 saidOk, I'll try to keep this as short, sweet, and to the point as I can.

    I have self-esteem/arosal issues when it comes to sex. Primarily its because im somewhat short changed (I'm only like 5 inches at most), and I'm too embarassed to get an erection or stay hard long. I tried to compensate for my size and embarassment by being a bottom. I've got a pretty large, strong, and highly acclaimed ass (or so guys have said) so I'm definately a phyiscal bottom.

    The problem is that I CANNOT get hard if something is inserted up there. Its an erection killer for me. And since topping would be humiliating and I'm too prideful to do it, I'm kinda stuck.

    My main concern is being a good sex partner. After erectile disfunction (via shame) during sex in the past, I've given up on having pleasure myself. However I want the guy I'm with, especially a future bf, to have the best sex possible. I'm working on being a good, wild, and energetic bottom, and using my hands to turn him on as much as I can, but I'm wondering if ignoring myself will turn him off. Especially since there's the likely chance I wont get hard at all, and wont anything out of it. Like I said, I'm totally fine with staying soft during sex, but would that turn you off if you were the other guy? Or is this a safe strategy?

    Thanks! icon_smile.gif


    Dude - 5 is plenty enough to rock my world - sex with the lights out may train you to explore and have fun without feeling that you have to measure up.. cumming in a 69 position may be your best option - if you feel like bottoming afterwards then I'm sure you'll both enjoy it just as much
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    smartmoney said5 inches is right in the average range, except on the internet, where all gay men are way above average, until you actually meet them.


    You're not small. You're issue is your self confidence, not your size.
  • Robby31

    Posts: 11

    Dec 26, 2011 6:41 PM GMT
    Well, in the scenario my confidense doesnt improve, how much of a turn off is me not getting hard/jacking/coming to the other guy? I mean, he'll get to fuck me and be satisfied, so would me not getting anything out of it really be a big deal to him?