Help me understand this right

  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Dec 27, 2011 2:33 AM GMT
    I knew why I didnt want to talk to People I might consider hot. It just gets confusing.

    I met this Guy who last time we talked to each other, we talked about how his Dog had attacked mine, that I wanted to go home to Austria and of course I couldnt keep my mouth shut about me being Gay. (I didnt ask him if he was though)

    Now every time I see him he suddenly tells me that he wants to talk to me about the thing we talked about last time and I just go ???????. He always refers to it as the Thing and so far I didnt have the luck to catch him alone again and ask him.

    I just dont know how to approach him. Every time I see him he is either with his Family or we see each other when walking our Dogs, but since both are really angry at each other I cant greet him in those situations either. So it always ends in "We really need to talk about what we talked last time one of these Days"
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    Dec 27, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    Maybe he wants to talk to you about God and persuade you from going down the path of destruction and meth
    And orgies. U never know
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    Dec 27, 2011 2:45 AM GMT
    toohottohandle7 saidMaybe he wants to talk to you about God and persuade you from going down the path of destruction and meth
    And orgies. U never know

    Good point. But if he really wants to talk, why not approach the OP when talking is possible, or set a time & place for it?
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Dec 27, 2011 2:51 AM GMT
    toohottohandle7 saidMaybe he wants to talk to you about God and persuade you from going down the path of destruction and meth
    And orgies. U never know


    He always waves and smiles when I drive by eventhough he usually seems to have a very serious look on his face. I really hope its not what you say it is, but it would be somewhat messed up if it was.

    Wouldnt it look just as stupid if I told him to meet me at some Streetcorner at some hour, because the Place we live at has nothing else but Houses and neither of us lives alone, eventhough I will be alone the next days.

    I thought about that being my chance to maybe invite him, but I fear that may cause the wrong impression eventhough I cant come up with something else.

    Please, any ideas? I am thinking about going out now to go to the store to give it a try, but the more times we "accidantly" see each other the weirder this mess gets.
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    Dec 27, 2011 6:33 AM GMT
    maximumrisk saidPlease, any ideas? I am thinking about going out now to go to the store to give it a try, but the more times we "accidantly" see each other the weirder this mess gets.


    Oh, geez, go for a run without your dog some time. Then offer to train his dog manners. I'm sure that'll be a great opening to let you know if the topic was your gayness or about the dog.
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    Dec 27, 2011 10:29 AM GMT
    Wieso fragst du ihn nicht einfach, ob ihr euch alleine treffen könnt um darüber zu reden? Du kannst die Frage ja so formulieren, dass es auch vor anderen Leuten/seiner Familie nicht peinlich is.

    Why don't you ask him if you guys can have a one on one talk. You could just ask him in a way that doesn't embarrass him even if you'd ask him in front of his family.
    Doesn't look like the biggest deal to me.
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Dec 27, 2011 4:23 PM GMT
    Justtrying saidWieso fragst du ihn nicht einfach, ob ihr euch alleine treffen könnt um darüber zu reden? Du kannst die Frage ja so formulieren, dass es auch vor anderen Leuten/seiner Familie nicht peinlich is.

    Why don't you ask him if you guys can have a one on one talk. You could just ask him in a way that doesn't embarrass him even if you'd ask him in front of his family.
    Doesn't look like the biggest deal to me.


    I am afraid of doing that, because it already backfired on me once. I went to a guy and asked him to talk alone for a sec in front of his friends. The result was the he never talked to me again, because in his eyes I was about to blow his cover.
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    Dec 27, 2011 4:29 PM GMT
    You might try this:
    You approach when he's with other people and say, "I'm going to the library to do some research on dog breeds, would you like to come along?" Then set a time and/or date to do it.

    The library is a safe place for him to talk, and you.


    Wouldn't it better to set your sights on someone less evasive?
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    Dec 27, 2011 4:31 PM GMT
    Buy him a drink.

    daterapedrugdetector.jpg

    Well, unless he's wearing this shirt:

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ7chYOy3jwHB8Zv-UTgVW
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    Dec 27, 2011 4:50 PM GMT
    Oh boy, the gays and their fascination with anyone who teases them with a wink. If I actually follow through with every wink I give to a girl, I'd be straight by now. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Honestly, a wink sounds corny and ingenuine.

    Do what you want, you sound horny for a dick anyway...
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Dec 27, 2011 4:51 PM GMT
    meninlove said You might try this:
    You approach when he's with other people and say, "I'm going to the library to do some research on dog breeds, would you like to come along?" Then set a time and/or date to do it.

    The library is a safe place for him to talk, and you.


    Wouldn't it better to set your sights on someone less evasive?


    Not sure what you mean with evasive.
    I havent had a Date for 2 Years since I simply lost the interrest in Sex and Relationships. So when someone comes along that gets me to feel something again I wont ignore it, eventhough chances are near 0 that it will go in that direction.

    Its hard to explain, I simply lost interrest and in that time every time I saw or met someone cute it didnt matter at all to me. I didnt get horny, I didnt think about them without clothes, for a time I was starting to think I was turning straight. Somehow this Guy got to me against all reason and thats what irks me.

    I think I somehow hoped that you Guys would destroy that hope so I can go back to not caring about squat.
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Dec 27, 2011 4:56 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidBuy him a drink.

    daterapedrugdetector.jpg

    Well, unless he's wearing this shirt:

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ7chYOy3jwHB8Zv-UTgVW


    LOL, if thats whats neccesary, then thanks but no. icon_razz.gif
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    Dec 27, 2011 5:02 PM GMT
    im guessing the two dogs r very aggressive.

    *i would say one of u hold a dog in ur arms securely and talk.

    *or just tie them to a fence far enough so they wont hurt each other and talk.

    good luck on whatever u decide to do
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    Dec 27, 2011 5:31 PM GMT
    He's the one who wants to talk, so he will figure a way to approach you. Or it will happen randomly.

    Be patient. In the meantime, put him out of your mind.
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    Dec 27, 2011 5:33 PM GMT
    maximumrisk said
    meninlove said You might try this:
    You approach when he's with other people and say, "I'm going to the library to do some research on dog breeds, would you like to come along?" Then set a time and/or date to do it.

    The library is a safe place for him to talk, and you.


    Wouldn't it better to set your sights on someone less evasive?


    Not sure what you mean with evasive.
    I havent had a Date for 2 Years since I simply lost the interrest in Sex and Relationships. So when someone comes along that gets me to feel something again I wont ignore it, eventhough chances are near 0 that it will go in that direction.

    Its hard to explain, I simply lost interrest and in that time every time I saw or met someone cute it didnt matter at all to me. I didnt get horny, I didnt think about them without clothes, for a time I was starting to think I was turning straight. Somehow this Guy got to me against all reason and thats what irks me.

    I think I somehow hoped that you Guys would destroy that hope so I can go back to not caring about squat.


    You are a 25-year-old who hasn't dated in 2 years because of lack of interest in sex and relationships who is stuck on the chance of a convenient relationship happening to you. But you admit that there is about zero chance of this, and you are asking people here to destroy your motivation.

    It sounds to me like you don't have much motivation to resolve this with the guy you are interested in. You have a lot of reasons why there are seemingly insurmountable roadblocks. I believe that you are looking for someone who will fix whatever is keeping you from wanting to make meaningful connections. That person is you -- you have to fix your own broken pieces.

    So, either live up to your name and take a risk or stop torturing yourself over something that you can't have. To actually gain satisfaction in any relationship, whether friendship or romantic, you need to be an active participant. It isn't going to resolve itself and turn into the situation you want it to be without you taking the steps to make it happen.
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Dec 27, 2011 5:42 PM GMT
    Well next time you see him, especially if he drops the "we need to talk" line just give him an easy option for it. Say something like, Oh well once I get done walking the dog I was headed to Starbucks if'd you'd like to meet up there in an hour. something casual like that, even if people are around nobody knows what you are referring to, it could be a business deal or anything really to an outsider.
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Dec 27, 2011 6:00 PM GMT
    jackthejock saidWell next time you see him, especially if he drops the "we need to talk" line just give him an easy option for it. Say something like, Oh well once I get done walking the dog I was headed to Starbucks if'd you'd like to meet up there in an hour. something casual like that, even if people are around nobody knows what you are referring to, it could be a business deal or anything really to an outsider.


    Thanks, I will try that

    yeahim40 said
    You are a 25-year-old who hasn't dated in 2 years because of lack of interest in sex and relationships who is stuck on the chance of a convenient relationship happening to you. But you admit that there is about zero chance of this, and you are asking people here to destroy your motivation.

    It sounds to me like you don't have much motivation to resolve this with the guy you are interested in. You have a lot of reasons why there are seemingly insurmountable roadblocks. I believe that you are looking for someone who will fix whatever is keeping you from wanting to make meaningful connections. That person is you -- you have to fix your own broken pieces.

    So, either live up to your name and take a risk or stop torturing yourself over something that you can't have. To actually gain satisfaction in any relationship, whether friendship or romantic, you need to be an active participant. It isn't going to resolve itself and turn into the situation you want it to be without you taking the steps to make it happen.


    You are right, most of the roadblocks I have are probably just in my mind. Doesnt change that I cant figure out how to deal with them. I know I should fix myself whatever is broken inside me, if it just would be as easy as writing it.
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    Dec 27, 2011 6:06 PM GMT
    maximumrisk said

    You are right, most of the roadblocks I have are probably just in my mind. Doesnt change that I cant figure out how to deal with them. I know I should fix myself whatever is broken inside me, if it just would be as easy as writing it.


    Yes, I know it's a hard thing to confront your demons. You can start by doing something out of the ordinary, and take the risk of opening up to the guy in question. The worst thing that will happen is that he won't be on the same page with you. You're not friends today, just passing acquaintances. So, the risk is small.
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Dec 27, 2011 6:53 PM GMT
    yeahim40 said
    maximumrisk said

    You are right, most of the roadblocks I have are probably just in my mind. Doesnt change that I cant figure out how to deal with them. I know I should fix myself whatever is broken inside me, if it just would be as easy as writing it.


    Yes, I know it's a hard thing to confront your demons. You can start by doing something out of the ordinary, and take the risk of opening up to the guy in question. The worst thing that will happen is that he won't be on the same page with you. You're not friends today, just passing acquaintances. So, the risk is small.


    Thanks. You are completly right.

    I posted here when my whole "uninterrested in sex" thing was in the beginning and had my worried. By now I have no contact to anyone of my friends anymore, because for some reason I cant stand them anymore, just the same as dates. Just trying to make the point that whatever is going on is also affecting my social life and I need some help to fix this.

    Thats why this situation is so important to me. I finally want to get to know somebody again and that might be the first step to going back to who I was before and I dont want to mess this up no matter which way it goes.

    I will try doing it like you guys suggested and lets see what comes out of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2011 10:33 PM GMT
    Might I suggest: please see a good therapist. Your 'anti-social tendencies' are clearly a problem that you wish to resolve. A more 'present' objective third party that's trained to help in such matters might just DO that. Just a thought. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 27, 2011 10:49 PM GMT
    Is it possible to actually die from boredom?
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Dec 31, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    He actually did want to convert me to God. Needless to say he got the Horns.

    Sorry, but I expected something more from someone who isnt from Guatemala just like me. Turns out he is even more troubled than I am.

    manboynyc saidMight I suggest: please see a good therapist. Your 'anti-social tendencies' are clearly a problem that you wish to resolve. A more 'present' objective third party that's trained to help in such matters might just DO that. Just a thought. icon_wink.gif


    I would love to do that, but I dont have the money to pay a shrink. So I am trying to fix it myself as good as I can with some occasional help of strangers.