I would like to expand my horizons and explore dating outside of my race.

  • drakutis

    Posts: 586

    Dec 27, 2011 2:48 AM GMT
    Right now I'm dating someone, but I feel that I might be ending it come the new year. I'm considering NOT dating anymore, but also considering being more inclusive in whom I date to meet different people. I see so many great looking guys of many races, but I don't know how to even start. I'm not one to go out to clubs since I've been there and done that.

    If you ask why I'm considering ending this one is because I feel that he's not ready for a relationship. He says that we need to spend more time together, but the days that we can spend time which are Saturday night, Sunday and Monday evenings, he wants to go out to the club and I'm over going out. It's to the point where he goes out every weekend and if not both days, atleast one of the weekend nights. He went out Christmas Eve, and Christmas day night. I stayed home. We've talked about it and his justification is that he works hard and that's how he blows off steam.

    Yet he tells me when we're together that he doesn't need to go out and he doesn't know what he goes out for or what he's looking for. We've talked and talked and talked and now I'm just letting him do his thing and I'm doing mine, not making any effort to spend time with him. Tonight he was invited to a dinner by a friend who normally cooks on Christmas day and I wasn't invited, but I try to include him in things I'm invited too. We were both also off today and nothing was mentioned about spending the day together and before I could bring it up, He said he had stuff to do. It will be a year at the end of January and I don't think we will make it. What makes it harder is that there are genuine feelings involved on both parts and I actually had thoughts of marrying him one day. But I'm not feeling that way anymore. I don't think there is a future with him. Yes I do love him and that hurts the most.

    Anyway, enough of the venting although I needed it! What is the best way of meeting quality new people short of the clubs and sex sites?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    What does race have to do with anything you just said?
  • drakutis

    Posts: 586

    Dec 27, 2011 4:30 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidWhat does race have to do with anything you just said?


    It has everything to do with it if I'm trying to date people other than black guys. What part did you get lost on? I'm not trying to limit myself by saying I want to date white, Latino, etc. So I said outside of my race to be inclusive. If I find a person attractive, then I find them attractive, regardless of race. The middle part was, as I said before, me venting.

    But I appreciate you reading the post! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 27, 2011 5:31 AM GMT
    I can't remember the last time I dated a white dude. icon_lol.gif
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Dec 27, 2011 5:51 AM GMT
    "Mr. Right" can't find you while you're still with this guy.
    You have to officially end it with him.
    You already know that it's over.
    And, a quality guy like you certainly deserves better.

    It's sad to say that, these days, most guys would rather jack off while logged onto the internet (Skype, Cam4, etc.), than bother to get cleaned up and go out anywhere where they might actually meet a guy and have it develop into a relationship.

  • drakutis

    Posts: 586

    Dec 27, 2011 6:16 AM GMT
    Webster666 said"Mr. Right" can't find you while you're still with this guy.
    You have to officially end it with him.
    You already know that it's over.
    And, a quality guy like you certainly deserves better.

    It's sad to say that, these days, most guys would rather jack off while logged onto the internet (Skype, Cam4, etc.), than bother to get cleaned up and go out anywhere where they might actually meet a guy and have it develop into a relationship.



    It's funny because I thought he was and don't get me wrong, he is a sweet guy. But I'm realizing that just because you love someone doesn't mean it's going to work. I was in a 14yr LTR so I'm trying to understand why this is so difficult. All I want is to spend time. I can't see myself going back to the online stuff again. I don't care for it anymore.
  • drakutis

    Posts: 586

    Dec 27, 2011 6:17 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI can't remember the last time I dated a white dude. icon_lol.gif


    LOL!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2011 6:24 AM GMT
    I've only dated In and outside of my race. I date whomever I feel and race doesn't matter.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2011 6:26 AM GMT
    Since there are not many gaysians around, and they all want white guys, I kinda have no choice but to look outside my race.... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2011 6:47 AM GMT
    I don't actually see how your post and wanting to date outside your race are related. It sounds like you're just in a relationship with someone who has very different ways of doing things. The two of you probably aren't compatible.

    What I do agree with is that you will give yourself a better chance of finding someone that you are compatible with when you become open to dating other races. I understand that people have preferences, but it seems kind of silly to limit yourself when there are great, attractive guys of every race. This is even more important when you look at the small dating pool that you have to start with in the first place.
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Dec 27, 2011 6:49 AM GMT
    Taste the rainbow.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2011 7:36 AM GMT
    Sounds to me like it's time for you to let him know you're moving on.

    How'd you meet him and how'd you meet your previous LTR?
  • drakutis

    Posts: 586

    Dec 27, 2011 5:47 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI think you should let this guy (the one you're seeing) know that you are thinking of ending the relationship. If you feel this way and are not honest with how you feel then you are stringing him along until it is convenient for you to leave the relationship. That is not fair to the person you're dating and it makes you look like you want all the control.


    Actually, I'm not the one with the control issues, because he'll want to see me when it seems to be convienent for him and if he does come over and there's a football game on, then I don't have his attention, If I mention doing something on a Saturday night, I get a tenative response because he may want to go out. So I get sidelined. And yes, I've talked to him about all of this. Especially after we started talking after he didn't hear from me for a few days after he said a hurtful comment out of anger.
  • drakutis

    Posts: 586

    Dec 27, 2011 5:49 PM GMT
    beneful1 saidSounds to me like it's time for you to let him know you're moving on.

    How'd you meet him and how'd you meet your previous LTR?


    My previous LTR, I met through some friends. This one saw me out with some friends and was watching me all night and then came up to me right before I left.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2011 5:49 PM GMT
    I feel your pain. I've decided to date outside the species.

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2011 6:06 PM GMT
    Ryan_Andrew saidI've only dated In and outside of my race. I date whomever I feel and race doesn't matter.


    Didn't you say in another thread that you don't like fellow Latinos at all???icon_neutral.gif
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    Dec 27, 2011 6:12 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI can't remember the last time I dated a white dude. icon_lol.gif


    story of my life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2011 6:13 PM GMT
    Vango saidI feel your pain. I've decided to date outside the species.

    icon_biggrin.gif


    I've tried this... and let me say that Wookiees have some insane grooming issues.

    27556_113573688653154_7596_n.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2011 6:34 PM GMT
    Don't date Jews.
  • drakutis

    Posts: 586

    Dec 27, 2011 6:37 PM GMT
    AlphaTrigger said
    Vango saidI feel your pain. I've decided to date outside the species.

    icon_biggrin.gif


    I've tried this... and let me say that Wookiees have some insane grooming issues.

    27556_113573688653154_7596_n.jpg


    That would be too much hair in my mouth! I pass!
  • drakutis

    Posts: 586

    Dec 27, 2011 6:38 PM GMT
    5280rick saidDon't date Jews.


    That's a little harsh I think and totally uncalled for.
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    Dec 27, 2011 8:07 PM GMT
    drakutis said
    AlphaTrigger said
    Vango saidI feel your pain. I've decided to date outside the species.

    icon_biggrin.gif


    I've tried this... and let me say that Wookiees have some insane grooming issues.

    27556_113573688653154_7596_n.jpg


    That would be too much hair in my mouth! I pass!



    BUT, if your wookie keeps himself nicely shaved, he'll probably look like this:

    JeanChas_ScottHoover7.jpg
  • drakutis

    Posts: 586

    Dec 27, 2011 11:11 PM GMT
    Vango said
    drakutis said
    AlphaTrigger said
    Vango saidI feel your pain. I've decided to date outside the species.

    icon_biggrin.gif


    I've tried this... and let me say that Wookiees have some insane grooming issues.

    27556_113573688653154_7596_n.jpg


    That would be too much hair in my mouth! I pass!



    BUT, if your wookie keeps himself nicely shaved, he'll probably look like this:

    JeanChas_ScottHoover7.jpg


    That would be worth shaving for!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2011 12:17 AM GMT
    Vango saidI feel your pain. I've decided to date outside the species.

    icon_biggrin.gif
    My black bitch would love you.

    newbitch-02.JPG
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    Montague saidTaste the rainbow.
    I tasted a rainbow last night.
    Best candy cane ever! icon_biggrin.gif