I Missed out but i'm happy

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2011 3:21 AM GMT
    I have a friend i made years ago when i first came here he's the first friend i made that i didn't know through anyone. (i used to be SUPER BIONIC SHY).

    When we met we hit it off like great. and i liked him a lot, but i was afraid he wasn't feeling me like that. we had a "thing" for three yrs, then i moved states. i wanted to tell him how i felt but deep down i felt our friends ship was good and i didn't need to mess with it. the pillow biting moments were things we now tease each other about, like it wasn't serious (though there's always a strange silence after every joke).

    Now he's getting married, him and his Long time on again off again boyfriend since High School are headed to NYC. and this (the forums) is the only place i can vent my heart and say i love him, and i'm happy for him. i don't think i'll ever tell him how i felt. but you guys can hear it... (sigh)

    i finally got it out... thanks fellas.

    [now rip it to shreds like you guys do most every heart felt post that isn't about cute kids... no wait, don't]
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    Dec 27, 2011 3:28 AM GMT
    The_Dollarwine saidNow he's getting married, him and his Long time on again off again are headed to NYC. and this is the only place i can vent my heart and say i love him, and i'm happy for him. i don't think i'll ever tell him how i felt. but you guys can hear it... (sigh)

    Straight or gay marriage?
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    Dec 27, 2011 4:03 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    The_Dollarwine saidNow he's getting married, him and his Long time on again off again are headed to NYC. and this is the only place i can vent my heart and say i love him, and i'm happy for him. i don't think i'll ever tell him how i felt. but you guys can hear it... (sigh)

    Straight or gay marriage?


    Fixed Deco
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    Dec 27, 2011 5:51 AM GMT
    If you were happy, this thread wouldn't exist.

    But, getting it off your shoulders will help you attain happiness. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 28, 2011 6:25 AM GMT
    thanks guys... even you paul
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    Dec 28, 2011 2:42 PM GMT
    It wasn't meant to be. Live life and be happy.
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    Dec 29, 2011 4:08 AM GMT
    Yup i Guess it wasn't.

    funny enough he keeps asking me if i'm ok with it and if i'll come to the wedding.
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    Dec 29, 2011 4:12 AM GMT
    awww don't worry you'll find someone elseicon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 29, 2011 4:50 AM GMT
    You could always dramatically travel there and wait outside the door till the priest gives your queue to object. icon_lol.gif

    In all seriousness I think at least talking to him about your feelings in a platonic way would help you accept your loss. If you can do so without pain try and keep the friendship going! Soon enough you'll find someone equally great icon_smile.gif
  • Lawrencium

    Posts: 63

    Dec 29, 2011 5:00 AM GMT
    I agree with Saber. It seems like he knows you might be upset by this, and may have similar feelings that he's also afraid to talk with you about.

    I think if you talk with him about it, you'll feel better because you will definitively know, he will probably feel better because he can say whatever it is he has to say (good or bad for you), seems like he already knows you have feelings for him so he won't be blind sided....and.....maybe......you'll hear what you want.



    OR....maybe he wants you to come so badly because its a surprise wedding for the two of you....how fun that would be.
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    Dec 30, 2011 12:07 PM GMT
    Saber170 saidYou could always dramatically travel there and wait outside the door till the priest gives your queue to object. icon_lol.gif

    In all seriousness I think at least talking to him about your feelings in a platonic way would help you accept your loss. If you can do so without pain try and keep the friendship going! Soon enough you'll find someone equally great icon_smile.gif


    Thanks saber
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    Dec 30, 2011 12:09 PM GMT
    larse88 saidI agree with Saber. It seems like he knows you might be upset by this, and may have similar feelings that he's also afraid to talk with you about.

    I think if you talk with him about it, you'll feel better because you will definitively know, he will probably feel better because he can say whatever it is he has to say (good or bad for you), seems like he already knows you have feelings for him so he won't be blind sided....and.....maybe......you'll hear what you want.



    OR....maybe he wants you to come so badly because its a surprise wedding for the two of you....how fun that would be.


    i doubt that Arse... LMAO perfect name (J/K)
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Dec 30, 2011 12:31 PM GMT
    We all have had serious crushes on guys who were available and unavailable at the time ....

    But you know what would be super if you would be able to do it?
    With his partner present or with a group of people when you're sitting around talking .... laughing Say... You Know when we first met I had the Biggest crush on you
    .... and Then say ... but I am so happy for you now

    You'll feel a lot better
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 30, 2011 12:33 PM GMT
    well sounds like you are a good friend.
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    Dec 30, 2011 12:50 PM GMT
    Hey, I suspect his friendship means a great deal to you, so try to focus on that. And be a good friend to him. People in relationships need friends outside whom they can trust, so maybe you can be that person for him.

    And not to get your hopes up, but life can do strange things. I have a good friend who missed out on a chance like you... this person got hitched, had a great life, then 20 years later when they were both single again (one from death, one from separation) they hooked up and spent some time together as a couple. But even for them, it was not meant to be, things just didn't work out.

    But this may be happening for a reason. So accept it and move on, and appreciate it for what it was. It might not have worked out in the end, relationships can be tough and there are no guarantees. So this way, it can be the perfect relationship that never was and you can romanticize it and enjoy it that way. Because in reality, it might not have been everything you thought it would be....

    Not to be a downer... ;-)

    Happy new year!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 30, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    I know it's a bittersweet moment, glad to hear you are supportive of him.
    I'd continue to encourage it. Everybody needs friends who care, just be sincere about what might be in his best interest, not yours.

    Happy New Year in 2012!
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    Dec 31, 2011 4:20 AM GMT
    speedobuddy saidHey, I suspect his friendship means a great deal to you, so try to focus on that. And be a good friend to him. People in relationships need friends outside whom they can trust, so maybe you can be that person for him.

    And not to get your hopes up, but life can do strange things. I have a good friend who missed out on a chance like you... this person got hitched, had a great life, then 20 years later when they were both single again (one from death, one from separation) they hooked up and spent some time together as a couple. But even for them, it was not meant to be, things just didn't work out.

    But this may be happening for a reason. So accept it and move on, and appreciate it for what it was. It might not have worked out in the end, relationships can be tough and there are no guarantees. So this way, it can be the perfect relationship that never was and you can romanticize it and enjoy it that way. Because in reality, it might not have been everything you thought it would be....

    Not to be a downer... ;-)

    Happy new year!


    no downer in that... it's just realism
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2011 4:22 AM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidI know it's a bittersweet moment, glad to hear you are supportive of him.
    I'd continue to encourage it. Everybody needs friends who care, just be sincere about what might be in his best interest, not yours.

    Happy New Year in 2012!


    a good friend holds more stability than 100 amazing lovers, a great friend is a lover you never have to get jealous of and your clothes always stay on.
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    Dec 31, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    paulflexes saidIf you were happy, this thread wouldn't exist.

    But, getting it off your shoulders will help you attain happiness. icon_biggrin.gif


    Dang, Paul. Let the guy vent. We all need to sometimes.
    Sorry, I'm a "Dog" (Chinese zodiac - look it up). That explains me 100%. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 31, 2011 5:13 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidThink positive .... There's always the divorce icon_biggrin.gif


    Not nice moo