Dear ________;

  • LuckyPierre

    Posts: 192

    Dec 27, 2011 7:41 AM GMT
    Dear Tourist;

    Thank you for visiting.

    I would never visit your country without reading up on local customs. I would attempt to respect your culture. In the United States it is customary to leave a gratuity to your bartenders and servers when you receive good service.

    If you had read about our customs you would understand that we receive a very, very small salary and rely on gratuities to actually survive. So next time, drop a buck on the bar and I'll forgive the left turns from the right lane across two lanes of traffic.

    Sincerely,
    The Staff

    ps. Your kid is obnoxious and needs to be smacked. Would you really let him shit on the floor at home?






    (yep, its a bitch thread. Add yours)
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    Dec 27, 2011 2:10 PM GMT
    Dear Pissant Excuse for a Father,
    You're an asshole in every sense of the word. I've wasted almost 10yrs of my life and BEAUCOUP of money to try and help your ungrateful ass. Thank you for finally confirming what I always knew as a child that I was "an accident" and nothing more than "the product of a fuck". I'm tired of seeing my poor my go on and try to hold together a famiy that hasn't been a family for YEARS. I hate the fact that I'm here fixing your fucking house and have put myself, my desires, and the plans I had/have myself on hold for you, you ungreatful son of a bitch. It would be better that you'd be fucked up in jail before you get home. Ususally I believe people can change but you are living proof of "once a piece of shit, always a piece of shit". Exucse me now while I tend to wife and kid you left behind and find a place for me to live so they can live happily with you once you're out. Maybe this time you won't beat your wife over a whore but then again... I doubt that.

    Eat Shit & Die,

    Ryan
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    Dec 27, 2011 2:32 PM GMT
    Ryan_Andrew saidDear Pissant Excuse for a Father,
    You're an asshole in every sense of the word. I've wasted almost 10yrs of my life and BEAUCOUP of money to try and help your ungrateful ass. Thank you for finally confirming what I always knew as a child that I was "an accident" and nothing more than "the product of a fuck". I'm tired of seeing my poor my go on and try to hold together a famiy that hasn't been a family for YEARS. I hate the fact that I'm here fixing your fucking house and have put myself, my desires, and the plans I had/have myself on hold for you, you ungreatful son of a bitch. It would be better that you'd be fucked up in jail before you get home. Ususally I believe people can change but you are living proof of "once a piece of shit, always a piece of shit". Exucse me now while I tend to wife and kid you left behind and find a place for me to live so they can live happily with you once you're out. Maybe this time you won't beat your wife over a whore but then again... I doubt that.

    Eat Shit & Die,

    Ryan

    Wow, is any of that based on fact?
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    Dec 27, 2011 2:36 PM GMT
    Dear Conservative Christian Republicans:

    Please take a few minutes out of your day to educate yourself about other beliefs, cultures and people. Other religions are just as valid as yours...including having no religious beliefs at all. If there is anything wrong or evil, it is your trying to inflict your hateful NOM agenda onto our Constitution, which is completely against the spirit and intent of our Founding Fathers.

    While you're at it, stop funding missionaries to the Middle East and other parts of the world. It pisses people off. How would YOU like it if Oil Sheiks funded throngs of Muslim Clerics on Missions to the US, where they converted our large and growing population of poor people to Islam? And then, encouraged them to overthrow their government? If that happened here, Rush and Savage would be on the radio 24/7 insisting that we bomb their nations. So I don't understand why you act surprised when Muslim terrorists want to come here and bomb us.

    And lastly, if you spent 10% of the time and money educating yourself about sexual orientation...as you do fighting and slandering gay people, and encouraging your children to bully other kids who they suspect are gay....millions fewer would suffer...and our country might actually become a better place to live.

    But then again, all this might make your heads explode.



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    Dec 27, 2011 8:14 PM GMT
    Dear Makers of FireFly Iced Tea Flavored Vodka,
    Your shit is AMAZING! Combining my two favorite things... I'd give you full on oral if I met you in person for creating such an amazing drink.

    Sincearly,

    Buzzing on RJ
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    Dec 27, 2011 8:21 PM GMT
    Ryan_Andrew saidDear Makers of FireFly Iced Tea Flavored Vodka,
    Your shit is AMAZING! Combining my two favorite things... I'd give you full on oral if I met you in person for creating such an amazing drink.

    Sincearly,

    Buzzing on RJ


    Firefly... a product of South Carolina... youre welcome! We also produce homophobia, but less than Arizona and Texas.

    Dear Hollywood:

    When you make a movie about the south, the word "y'all" is a contraction of "you" and "all"... it is a plural word. When you use it as a singular word, you sound fucking stupid.

    If you set a movie in the South, dont be fucking stupid.

    Alpha

    p.s. Yes, rednecky southern boys are hot... you got that right.