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Relationship-Status Confusion

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Dec 29, 2011 4:23 AM GMT

Now that I've been on RJ a while, I've noticed something interesting: a number of bios that list their status as "monogamous relationship" - but then go on to talk about who they are and in good detail describe the "hot guys" they're lookin' to meet. So - to those people: Are you actually in a monogamous relationship... or not?

From my perspective: if you are not currently in a relationship (no matter what you'd like to have), your status ought to be "single" - right? Else you're otherwise tied up unless you say "open relationship". Either I'm confused... or these people are utterly confusing/ed. Discuss.

If this has been discussed - please show me where. Isn't there a book on net-iquette standards on all this stuff?! Sheesh!

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Dec 29, 2011 4:28 AM GMT

manboynyc saidNow that I've been on RJ a while I've noticed something interesting: a number of bios that list "monogamous relationship" - but then go on to talk about who they are (sometimes in a flirtatious/boastful way) and describe the "hot guys" they're lookin' to meet. So - to those people: Are you in a relationship... or not?

From my perspective: if you want to be in a monogamous relationship or not (or just mess around), your status ought to be "single" - right? Else you're otherwise tied up unless you say "open relationship". Either I'm confused... or these people are utterly confusing/ed. Discuss.

If this has been discussed - please show me where. Isn't there a book on net-iquette standards on all this stuff?! Sheesh!

*shrug* my profile says what I am and why I'm here. I may compliment someone's look on here and that could come across as flirty I guess but I intend it pretty innocently; not looking for anything else. Not to worry as I'm pretty much out of my league on here.

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Dec 29, 2011 4:32 AM GMT

[quote]
*shrug* my profile says what I am and why I'm here. I may compliment someone's look on here and that could come across as flirty I guess but I intend it pretty innocently; not looking for anything else. Not to worry as I'm pretty much out of my league on here.[/quote]

Well - you're profile makes things rather clear: looking for friends... not FWB.

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Dec 29, 2011 4:33 AM GMT

Are you looking for an answer deeper than "people lie?"

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Dec 29, 2011 4:34 AM GMT

manboynyc said[quote]

*shrug* my profile says what I am and why I'm here. I may compliment someone's look on here and that could come across as flirty I guess but I intend it pretty innocently; not looking for anything else. Not to worry as I'm pretty much out of my league on here.

Well - you're profile makes things rather clear: looking for friends... not FWB.

Right... I made myself pretty clear on there and even said a compliment was just that, not an ice-breaker for something else. So far nobody has accused me of acting out of synch with my description, but then most people don't even write back, so w/e.

tuffguyndc

Posts: 4437

Dec 29, 2011 4:39 AM GMT

manboynyc saidNow that I've been on RJ a while, I've noticed something interesting: a number of bios that list their status as "monogamous relationship" - but then go on to talk about who they are and in good detail describe the "hot guys" they're lookin' to meet. So - to those people: Are you actually in a monogamous relationship... or not?

From my perspective: if you are not currently in a relationship (no matter what you'd like to have), your status ought to be "single" - right? Else you're otherwise tied up unless you say "open relationship". Either I'm confused... or these people are utterly confusing/ed. Discuss.

If this has been discussed - please show me where. Isn't there a book on net-iquette standards on all this stuff?! Sheesh!

I have never paid much attention to that. Once I see that they are in a relationship whether monogamous or open. I do not get involved. I may check out the profile if they are hot but I usually do not bother to speak to them unless i am just being nice

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Dec 29, 2011 6:31 AM GMT

DudeInNOVA saidAre you looking for an answer deeper than "people lie?"

So true.... Some people also negate to update their profile.

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Dec 29, 2011 7:40 AM GMT

does anyone ever use this mess to go on dates? if so, that's very 90's of you. stop being a fucking recluse and go out! (: as for the op, stfu, no one cares... i dont think people come here to draw their lines on morale!

MikemikeMike

Posts: 6932

Dec 29, 2011 8:11 AM GMT

manboynyc saidNow that I've been on RJ a while, I've noticed something interesting: a number of bios that list their status as "monogamous relationship" - but then go on to talk about who they are and in good detail describe the "hot guys" they're lookin' to meet. So - to those people: Are you actually in a monogamous relationship... or not?

From my perspective: if you are not currently in a relationship (no matter what you'd like to have), your status ought to be "single" - right? Else you're otherwise tied up unless you say "open relationship". Either I'm confused... or these people are utterly confusing/ed. Discuss.

If this has been discussed - please show me where. Isn't there a book on net-iquette standards on all this stuff?! Sheesh!

Many of their boyfriends/life parrtner/husbands have no idea they're on here I"d bet!!!

Reason 801 to ALWAYS wear a condom.

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Dec 29, 2011 2:50 PM GMT

Think of online profiles as advertising collaterals. Advertising collaterals are specifically geared to promote and highlight a product or service, and, despite truth-in-advertising laws, many of them contain lies and misrepresentations. As a "consumer," you need to weed out the truth or facts from the lies and fabrications. Caveat emptor.

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Dec 29, 2011 3:50 PM GMT

jrunner25 saiddoes anyone ever use this mess to go on dates? if so, that's very 90's of you. stop being a fucking recluse and go out! (: as for the op, stfu, no one cares... i dont think people come here to draw their lines on morale!

This was an innocent question - not an invite to be a prick. Thank you. Now I know a lot more about you than I ever wanted to.

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Dec 29, 2011 3:55 PM GMT

It's part of the reason why I don't state my relationship status.

It's really no one's business whether I am in a relationship or not at any given time so I don't list it.

But in any event, on a site like this, which is not really a hookup site, isn't it a bit redundant anyway ?

masculumpedes

Posts: 5549

Dec 29, 2011 3:57 PM GMT

Let's just say that for most guys....."It's Complicated"..

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Dec 29, 2011 4:00 PM GMT

whateveryo saidIt's part of the reason why I don't state my relationship status.

It's really no one's business whether I am in a relationship or not at any given time so I don't list it.

But in any event, on a site like this, which is not really a hookup site, isn't it a bit redundant anyway ?

Actually it is, and is advertised all over the internet as such.

http://www.keywordtrak.com/DomainSearch/Ads/realjock.com#axzz1hwL9yD00

Look at #9 for example.

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Dec 29, 2011 4:06 PM GMT

meninlove said
whateveryo saidIt's part of the reason why I don't state my relationship status.

It's really no one's business whether I am in a relationship or not at any given time so I don't list it.

But in any event, on a site like this, which is not really a hookup site, isn't it a bit redundant anyway ?

Actually it is, and is advertised all over the internet as such.

http://www.keywordtrak.com/DomainSearch/Ads/realjock.com#axzz1hwL9yD00

Look at #9 for example.

I'd be interested to see statistics stating how many active members here have hooked up via RJ versus those who never have. I imagine it's a small number but hey I could be totally wrong

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Dec 29, 2011 4:18 PM GMT

whateveryo said
meninlove said
whateveryo saidIt's part of the reason why I don't state my relationship status.

It's really no one's business whether I am in a relationship or not at any given time so I don't list it.

But in any event, on a site like this, which is not really a hookup site, isn't it a bit redundant anyway ?

Actually it is, and is advertised all over the internet as such.

http://www.keywordtrak.com/DomainSearch/Ads/realjock.com#axzz1hwL9yD00

Look at #9 for example.

I'd be interested to see statistics stating how many active members here have hooked up via RJ versus those who never have. I imagine it's a small number but hey I could be totally wrong

My guess is probably a fair number. We also know guys that began relationships on here and are still together as the years have gone by.

-Doug

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Dec 29, 2011 4:52 PM GMT

It is telling that in the window header it says "Gay men and dating" first instead of "Fitness, Health" etc.

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Dec 29, 2011 4:57 PM GMT

njmeanwhile saidIt is telling that in the window header it says "Gay men and dating" first instead of "Fitness, Health" etc.

I thought this was our logo. What are you viewing?

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Dec 29, 2011 5:15 PM GMT

Art_Deco said
njmeanwhile saidIt is telling that in the window header it says "Gay men and dating" first instead of "Fitness, Health" etc.

I thought this was our logo. What are you viewing?

If you look at the heading in the window of your browser, which is also how it comes up in search engines. "Gay Men and Gay Dating - Chat, Forums, Personals (which there aren't, are there?), Fitness, Health, Community, and More"

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Dec 29, 2011 9:32 PM GMT

manboynyc said

jrunner25 saiddoes anyone ever use this mess to go on dates? if so, that's very 90's of you. stop being a fucking recluse and go out!

I've been on a couple dates with some nice guys because of this site, while not RJ is not officially a dating site it's an added benefit of being on here. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Since there's a lot of guys on here it's what you make of it.

BTW, some guys like to combine online dating with offline dating, always good cast a larger net even when you live in NYC.

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Dec 30, 2011 11:35 PM GMT

DudeInNOVA saidAre you looking for an answer deeper than "people lie?"

LoL same idea popped in my head!!

stratavos

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Dec 31, 2011 12:10 AM GMT

psychyourselfup said
DudeInNOVA saidAre you looking for an answer deeper than "people lie?"

LoL same idea popped in my head!!

there's also the potential for "if my relationship starts going sour, here's what I'd like in the next guy"

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Dec 31, 2011 12:29 AM GMT

Ehanson saidBTW, some guys like to combine online dating with offline dating, always good cast a larger net even when you live in NYC.

Agreed, what I always did when I was still in the dating pool.

To the OP's profile observation, I'm listed as monogamous and I am monogamous. I like to keep things simple.

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Dec 31, 2011 12:47 AM GMT

My BF is often on here. He'll even mention to me if he thinks someone is hot. It doesn't bother me. I didn't expect him to go blind when we started to date. It's the nature of men. I know that it is his arms wrapped around me all night (or vice versa), that it's his hand holding mine at a concert or a water polo match.

Of course, it's also his fingernails digging into my hand when he's using every ounce of emotional strength to remain civil in the company of an ungrateful wretch (but I digress.)

As for monogamy, it is a word used like 'love'. Some say it because they mean it, some use it to manipulate others to get what they want. Some use it as a shield to prevent unwanted advances. It is when the advances are desired, then suddenly the meaning changes. The caveat in all of this is that you have to be vigilant, thoughtful and balanced in determining if your suspicions are not your own insecurities projected onto him. This is best done with the advice of a disinterested third party.

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Dec 31, 2011 3:19 AM GMT

bgcat57 saidMy BF is often on here. He'll even mention to me if he thinks someone is hot. It doesn't bother me. I didn't expect him to go blind when we started to date. It's the nature of men. I know that it is his arms wrapped around me all night (or vice versa), that it's his hand holding mine at a concert or a water polo match.

Of course, it's also his fingernails digging into my hand when he's using every ounce of emotional strength to remain civil in the company of an ungrateful wretch (but I digress.)

As for monogamy, it is a word used like 'love'. Some say it because they mean it, some use it to manipulate others to get what they want. Some use it as a shield to prevent unwanted advances. It is when the advances are desired, then suddenly the meaning changes. The caveat in all of this is that you have to be vigilant, thoughtful and balanced in determining if your suspicions are not your own insecurities projected onto him. This is best done with the advice of a disinterested third party.

What a handsome hunk you are. What are you doing next Saturday night?

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Relationship-Status Confusion