Relationship-Status Confusion

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 4:23 AM GMT
    Now that I've been on RJ a while, I've noticed something interesting: a number of bios that list their status as "monogamous relationship" - but then go on to talk about who they are and in good detail describe the "hot guys" they're lookin' to meet. So - to those people: Are you actually in a monogamous relationship... or not?

    From my perspective: if you are not currently in a relationship (no matter what you'd like to have), your status ought to be "single" - right? Else you're otherwise tied up unless you say "open relationship". Either I'm confused... or these people are utterly confusing/ed. Discuss.

    If this has been discussed - please show me where. Isn't there a book on net-iquette standards on all this stuff?! Sheesh! icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 4:28 AM GMT
    manboynyc saidNow that I've been on RJ a while I've noticed something interesting: a number of bios that list "monogamous relationship" - but then go on to talk about who they are (sometimes in a flirtatious/boastful way) and describe the "hot guys" they're lookin' to meet. So - to those people: Are you in a relationship... or not?

    From my perspective: if you want to be in a monogamous relationship or not (or just mess around), your status ought to be "single" - right? Else you're otherwise tied up unless you say "open relationship". Either I'm confused... or these people are utterly confusing/ed. Discuss.

    If this has been discussed - please show me where. Isn't there a book on net-iquette standards on all this stuff?! Sheesh! icon_wink.gif


    *shrug* my profile says what I am and why I'm here. I may compliment someone's look on here and that could come across as flirty I guess but I intend it pretty innocently; not looking for anything else. Not to worry as I'm pretty much out of my league on here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
    [quote]
    *shrug* my profile says what I am and why I'm here. I may compliment someone's look on here and that could come across as flirty I guess but I intend it pretty innocently; not looking for anything else. Not to worry as I'm pretty much out of my league on here.[/quote]

    Well - you're profile makes things rather clear: looking for friends... not FWB.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 4:33 AM GMT
    Are you looking for an answer deeper than "people lie?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 4:34 AM GMT
    manboynyc said[quote]

    *shrug* my profile says what I am and why I'm here. I may compliment someone's look on here and that could come across as flirty I guess but I intend it pretty innocently; not looking for anything else. Not to worry as I'm pretty much out of my league on here.


    Well - you're profile makes things rather clear: looking for friends... not FWB.


    Right... I made myself pretty clear on there and even said a compliment was just that, not an ice-breaker for something else. So far nobody has accused me of acting out of synch with my description, but then most people don't even write back, so w/e.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 29, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    manboynyc saidNow that I've been on RJ a while, I've noticed something interesting: a number of bios that list their status as "monogamous relationship" - but then go on to talk about who they are and in good detail describe the "hot guys" they're lookin' to meet. So - to those people: Are you actually in a monogamous relationship... or not?

    From my perspective: if you are not currently in a relationship (no matter what you'd like to have), your status ought to be "single" - right? Else you're otherwise tied up unless you say "open relationship". Either I'm confused... or these people are utterly confusing/ed. Discuss.

    If this has been discussed - please show me where. Isn't there a book on net-iquette standards on all this stuff?! Sheesh! icon_wink.gif
    I have never paid much attention to that. Once I see that they are in a relationship whether monogamous or open. I do not get involved. I may check out the profile if they are hot but I usually do not bother to speak to them unless i am just being nice
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 6:31 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidAre you looking for an answer deeper than "people lie?"


    So true.... Some people also negate to update their profile.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 7:40 AM GMT
    does anyone ever use this mess to go on dates? if so, that's very 90's of you. stop being a fucking recluse and go out! (: as for the op, stfu, no one cares... i dont think people come here to draw their lines on morale!
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Dec 29, 2011 8:11 AM GMT
    manboynyc saidNow that I've been on RJ a while, I've noticed something interesting: a number of bios that list their status as "monogamous relationship" - but then go on to talk about who they are and in good detail describe the "hot guys" they're lookin' to meet. So - to those people: Are you actually in a monogamous relationship... or not?

    From my perspective: if you are not currently in a relationship (no matter what you'd like to have), your status ought to be "single" - right? Else you're otherwise tied up unless you say "open relationship". Either I'm confused... or these people are utterly confusing/ed. Discuss.

    If this has been discussed - please show me where. Isn't there a book on net-iquette standards on all this stuff?! Sheesh! icon_wink.gif


    Many of their boyfriends/life parrtner/husbands have no idea they're on here I"d bet!!!icon_idea.gif

    Reason 801 to ALWAYS wear a condom.icon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 2:50 PM GMT
    Think of online profiles as advertising collaterals. Advertising collaterals are specifically geared to promote and highlight a product or service, and, despite truth-in-advertising laws, many of them contain lies and misrepresentations. As a "consumer," you need to weed out the truth or facts from the lies and fabrications. Caveat emptor.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 3:50 PM GMT
    jrunner25 saiddoes anyone ever use this mess to go on dates? if so, that's very 90's of you. stop being a fucking recluse and go out! (: as for the op, stfu, no one cares... i dont think people come here to draw their lines on morale!

    This was an innocent question - not an invite to be a prick. Thank you. Now I know a lot more about you than I ever wanted to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 3:55 PM GMT
    It's part of the reason why I don't state my relationship status.

    It's really no one's business whether I am in a relationship or not at any given time so I don't list it.

    But in any event, on a site like this, which is not really a hookup site, isn't it a bit redundant anyway ?
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 29, 2011 3:57 PM GMT
    Let's just say that for most guys....."It's Complicated"..icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 4:00 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidIt's part of the reason why I don't state my relationship status.

    It's really no one's business whether I am in a relationship or not at any given time so I don't list it.

    But in any event, on a site like this, which is not really a hookup site, isn't it a bit redundant anyway ?



    Actually it is, and is advertised all over the internet as such.


    http://www.keywordtrak.com/DomainSearch/Ads/realjock.com#axzz1hwL9yD00


    Look at #9 for example.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 4:06 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    whateveryo saidIt's part of the reason why I don't state my relationship status.

    It's really no one's business whether I am in a relationship or not at any given time so I don't list it.

    But in any event, on a site like this, which is not really a hookup site, isn't it a bit redundant anyway ?



    Actually it is, and is advertised all over the internet as such.


    http://www.keywordtrak.com/DomainSearch/Ads/realjock.com#axzz1hwL9yD00


    Look at #9 for example.


    I'd be interested to see statistics stating how many active members here have hooked up via RJ versus those who never have. I imagine it's a small number but hey I could be totally wrong icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 4:18 PM GMT
    whateveryo said
    meninlove said
    whateveryo saidIt's part of the reason why I don't state my relationship status.

    It's really no one's business whether I am in a relationship or not at any given time so I don't list it.

    But in any event, on a site like this, which is not really a hookup site, isn't it a bit redundant anyway ?



    Actually it is, and is advertised all over the internet as such.


    http://www.keywordtrak.com/DomainSearch/Ads/realjock.com#axzz1hwL9yD00


    Look at #9 for example.


    I'd be interested to see statistics stating how many active members here have hooked up via RJ versus those who never have. I imagine it's a small number but hey I could be totally wrong icon_biggrin.gif


    My guess is probably a fair number. We also know guys that began relationships on here and are still together as the years have gone by.

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 4:52 PM GMT
    It is telling that in the window header it says "Gay men and dating" first instead of "Fitness, Health" etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 4:57 PM GMT
    njmeanwhile saidIt is telling that in the window header it says "Gay men and dating" first instead of "Fitness, Health" etc.


    I thought this was our logo. What are you viewing?

    file-49.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 5:15 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    njmeanwhile saidIt is telling that in the window header it says "Gay men and dating" first instead of "Fitness, Health" etc.


    I thought this was our logo. What are you viewing?

    file-49.jpg


    If you look at the heading in the window of your browser, which is also how it comes up in search engines. "Gay Men and Gay Dating - Chat, Forums, Personals (which there aren't, are there?), Fitness, Health, Community, and More"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 29, 2011 9:32 PM GMT
    manboynyc said
    jrunner25 saiddoes anyone ever use this mess to go on dates? if so, that's very 90's of you. stop being a fucking recluse and go out!


    I've been on a couple dates with some nice guys because of this site, while not RJ is not officially a dating site it's an added benefit of being on here. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Since there's a lot of guys on here it's what you make of it.

    BTW, some guys like to combine online dating with offline dating, always good cast a larger net even when you live in NYC.icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 30, 2011 11:35 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidAre you looking for an answer deeper than "people lie?"


    LoL same idea popped in my head!!
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Dec 31, 2011 12:10 AM GMT
    psychyourselfup said
    DudeInNOVA saidAre you looking for an answer deeper than "people lie?"


    LoL same idea popped in my head!!


    there's also the potential for "if my relationship starts going sour, here's what I'd like in the next guy"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 31, 2011 12:29 AM GMT
    Ehanson saidBTW, some guys like to combine online dating with offline dating, always good cast a larger net even when you live in NYC.icon_wink.gif

    Agreed, what I always did when I was still in the dating pool.

    To the OP's profile observation, I'm listed as monogamous and I am monogamous. I like to keep things simple.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 31, 2011 12:47 AM GMT
    My BF is often on here. He'll even mention to me if he thinks someone is hot. It doesn't bother me. I didn't expect him to go blind when we started to date. It's the nature of men. I know that it is his arms wrapped around me all night (or vice versa), that it's his hand holding mine at a concert or a water polo match.

    Of course, it's also his fingernails digging into my hand when he's using every ounce of emotional strength to remain civil in the company of an ungrateful wretch (but I digress.)

    As for monogamy, it is a word used like 'love'. Some say it because they mean it, some use it to manipulate others to get what they want. Some use it as a shield to prevent unwanted advances. It is when the advances are desired, then suddenly the meaning changes. The caveat in all of this is that you have to be vigilant, thoughtful and balanced in determining if your suspicions are not your own insecurities projected onto him. This is best done with the advice of a disinterested third party.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 31, 2011 3:19 AM GMT
    bgcat57 saidMy BF is often on here. He'll even mention to me if he thinks someone is hot. It doesn't bother me. I didn't expect him to go blind when we started to date. It's the nature of men. I know that it is his arms wrapped around me all night (or vice versa), that it's his hand holding mine at a concert or a water polo match.

    Of course, it's also his fingernails digging into my hand when he's using every ounce of emotional strength to remain civil in the company of an ungrateful wretch (but I digress.)

    As for monogamy, it is a word used like 'love'. Some say it because they mean it, some use it to manipulate others to get what they want. Some use it as a shield to prevent unwanted advances. It is when the advances are desired, then suddenly the meaning changes. The caveat in all of this is that you have to be vigilant, thoughtful and balanced in determining if your suspicions are not your own insecurities projected onto him. This is best done with the advice of a disinterested third party.


    What a handsome hunk you are. What are you doing next Saturday night?