How can you objectively tell when someone likes you or not?

  • heymikey

    Posts: 24

    Dec 29, 2011 5:34 AM GMT
    I have this problem where I cannot tell for sure when someone likes me or not. 

    When I like someone, I tend to magnify little nice things they do and make it seem they like me. Just recently, I asked this guy out on a date who I was so sure liked me back. The way he looks at me and talks to me, I misconstrued it as him being interested in me. It turns out, he wasn't. I guess it's true: people believe what they want to believe. I wanted to believe that he liked me. 

    On the other hand, when I have no feelings for someone, I am oblivious. A friend asked me out on a date and told me he liked me. I was surprised and did not see it coming. But in hindsight, there were obvious signs that I missed. When I talk to him about cute guys or when some guy gets friendly with me, he'd get visibly jealous. When I didn't have a car, he'd always ask me if I needed a ride and made sure to drive me around. I just thought he was just being a really good friend. I had no idea he felt that way, probably because I wasn't looking for signs. 

    How do you guys do it? I tend to be retarded in reading signs. 
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2011 7:33 AM GMT
    How can you tell? Don't have Aspergers lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2011 9:45 AM GMT
    Everyone's different but for the most part you can usually tell.
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    Dec 29, 2011 3:23 PM GMT
    I think it's a totally fair question. I'm terrible at it too. I think a lot of guys assume people are into them and that makes it easier to spot when someone actually is. However, I always assume that people think I'm odd so I'm usually surprised when someone likes me.

    Okay, Frosted Flakes probably hit it on the head....don't have Aspergers. Maybe that'll be my New Years resolution.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2011 3:49 PM GMT
    Unless you know a person really really well you can never be sure until you ask.
    There are just a few people who can tell just by observing someone icon_smile.gif
    But asking won't hurt and would the life look like without surprises?
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 29, 2011 4:10 PM GMT
    Well I do not think it is a exact science to figuring out who may or may not like you. I happen to think that when someone likes you they usually gives you hints. They go out of there way to be around you. They always touch you when they are around you. Those are ways that I figure out that someone likes me. The always touching is usually a good sign that someone likes you
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    Dec 29, 2011 4:14 PM GMT
    heymikey said
    A friend asked me out on a date and told me he liked me. When I talk to him about cute guys or when some guy gets friendly with me, he'd get visibly jealous. When I didn't have a car, he'd always ask me if I needed a ride and made sure to drive me around.. 


    Thats cute.. Im pretty oblivious myself... Ive been told I have an Asperger's like quality of missing them
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    Dec 29, 2011 4:15 PM GMT
    I usually just ask them....

    Me: Hey, do you like me?
    Guy: What?
    Me: do. you. like. MEEE?
    Guy: uuhh...
    Me: ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!!!!
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 29, 2011 4:16 PM GMT
    GreenHopper said
    heymikey said
    A friend asked me out on a date and told me he liked me. When I talk to him about cute guys or when some guy gets friendly with me, he'd get visibly jealous. When I didn't have a car, he'd always ask me if I needed a ride and made sure to drive me around.. 


    Thats cute.. Im pretty oblivious myself... Ive been told I have an Asperger's like quality of missing them



    I like GreenHopper.....gay-copain.gif
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    Dec 29, 2011 4:22 PM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidI usually just ask them....

    Me: Hey, do you like me?
    Guy: What?
    Me: do. you. like. MEEE?
    Guy: uuhh...
    Me: ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!!!!
    (points gun to guy's head)


    Hahaha, HOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!! icon_biggrin.gif
  • boilerup_82

    Posts: 188

    Dec 29, 2011 5:44 PM GMT
    imasrxd saidI think it's a totally fair question. I'm terrible at it too. I think a lot of guys assume people are into them and that makes it easier to spot when someone actually is. However, I always assume that people think I'm odd so I'm usually surprised when someone likes me.

    Okay, Frosted Flakes probably hit it on the head....don't have Aspergers. Maybe that'll be my New Years resolution.


    i'm on the same boat. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 29, 2011 6:44 PM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidI usually just ask them....

    Me: Hey, do you like me?
    Guy: What?
    Me: do. you. like. MEEE?
    Guy: uuhh...
    Me: ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!!!!


    lol god I love this guy
  • Trepeat

    Posts: 546

    Dec 29, 2011 7:00 PM GMT
    It's all about the eye contact, and physical posturing, IMO. If a guy's consistently positioning himself near you or towards your direction, that can be a sign.
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    Dec 29, 2011 7:06 PM GMT
    Trepeat saidIt's all about the eye contact, and physical posturing, IMO. If a guy's consistently positioning himself near you or towards your direction, that can be a sign.


    That's kinda hard to know if you guys meet only online. icon_confused.gif
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    Dec 29, 2011 7:13 PM GMT
    Did you ever read the book 'He's Just Not that Into You?'

    If someone likes you, he will usually make it known. I usually judge if someone is into me by if things aren't one-sided: they email/call/text me as much as I do with them, they are equally interested in learning about me as I am about them, etc.

    The most straightforward solution: just ask. This takes balls, but is quick and to the point.
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    Dec 29, 2011 7:36 PM GMT
    How do you know if you've got assburgers?
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    Dec 29, 2011 7:41 PM GMT

    On a date it's fairly obvious to me, there aren't one sided conversations, they'll ask questions about you, mirroring/ copy your body language, etc... Maybe I have a high emotional IQ but you can tell after a couple of minutes of talking with them.

    Though, if you don't know the guy and are in a situation where you're in a college lecture, at the gym or on the street, etc... then it becomes more difficult and a lot more subtle. It's generally hard to tell if someone likes you if you don't anything about them. Thankfully little things like eye flirting can indicate interest or attraction; quick, darting looks from across the room type of eye contact. It's not any type of eye contact that you usually get from guys.

    This type of eye contact is quick and many times the guy will look away when you look in his direction not because he's not interested but because he's not certain you're gay and doesn't want to seem like he's looking or staring at you. If you reciprocate his eye flirting- giving him the same quick darty looks then he'll hold eye contact longer. Than it's time to go up to him and get to know him better.

    It's a fine line though and a lot of times guys will think that straight barista at Starbuck's is flirting with them when they really aren't, they're just being friendly. Consider the situation when you think a guy is flirting with you. Honing your gaydar helps also with telling which guys are into you but that's for another thread.
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Dec 29, 2011 7:54 PM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidI usually just ask them....

    Me: Hey, do you like me?
    Guy: What?
    Me: do. you. like. MEEE?
    Guy: uuhh...
    Me: ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!!!!
    This.
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    Dec 30, 2011 12:32 AM GMT
    my 2 cents
    One thing I have observed in my many years of flirting with guys from all over the world is when a guy is interested (initially) is his copying of your body language (stance), i.e.you scratch your head he does, you make some random movement and he does.
    In saying that I am generally quite oblivious to guys being interested in me particularly when I'm at work or on some kind of mission (grocery shopping etc).