So what is the most significant thing about being gay that life has taught you

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    Dec 30, 2011 3:27 PM GMT
    Having come out later in life, these past few months have been quite the roller coaster. Several unexpected experiences some of which I mentioned in other threads. One recent observation, as I have started dating, is that I feel more masculine now then ever before. Not sure why that surprised me, since for the first time in my life, I am partnering up with masculinity (after having lived with a women these many years).

    So what are some of the interesting/significant/unexpected things being gay has taught you?
  • masculumpedes

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    Dec 30, 2011 3:28 PM GMT
    That some people hide prejudices very well. icon_confused.gif
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    Dec 30, 2011 3:41 PM GMT
    I learned very early that being gay should not define who you are.

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    Dec 30, 2011 4:16 PM GMT
    It may be no longer interesting, significant or unexpected, but since being gay is not always so detectable by unsuspecting str8s, I'm going with: what people say about gay people behind your back when they don't realize that they are speaking to your back.
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    Dec 30, 2011 4:28 PM GMT
    theantijock saidIt may be no longer interesting, significant or unexpected, but since being gay is not always so detectable by unsuspecting str8s, I'm going with: what people say about gay people behind your back when they don't realize that they are speaking to your back.


    So true Ant, so true. I was in line getting coffee after finishing a 11 mile run. This woman struck up a conversation with me on running and triathlons (her kids are into it). In the course of the conversation, she used the expression "that's so gay" a number of times when describing things of which she did not approve. I really should have looked her in the face and said, 'excuse me but I am gay'. Wasn't quite there yet. Next time I will be though!!!

    Malefeet, amoonhawk, and yourname2000, as always, I enjoy your insightful comments.

    Smartmoney, thanks, seen a couple of your posts this morning, you seem quite well grounded.

    Happy New Year all!!!!
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    Dec 30, 2011 4:31 PM GMT
    That a lot of people out there are more accepting than you expect!
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    Dec 30, 2011 4:49 PM GMT
    That such traits as being intolerant, judgmental, and discriminatory can be dramatically pronounced in a community that has a history of persecution, exclusion and disenfranchisement.
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    Dec 30, 2011 5:16 PM GMT
    1. Sexuality does not define me.
    2. Thank god I will never have to be with a woman in my life
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    Dec 30, 2011 5:38 PM GMT
    mocktwinkie saidThat a lot of people out there are more accepting than you expect!


    I have found this to be so true. Unlike the poor fella who posted recently about the horrific coming out to his father experience, I have recieved mostly positive affirmation.
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    Dec 30, 2011 8:27 PM GMT
    That all the good ones are straight or taken.

    Edit: Except for all the hot RJ'ers. They're just too fuckin' far away.
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    Dec 30, 2011 8:30 PM GMT
    Hickram saidThat all the good ones are straight or taken.

    Edit: Except for all the hot RJ'ers. They're just too fuckin' far away.


    Too funny....icon_lol.gif

    In the new year my friend, let's grab some coffee.
  • Trepeat

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    Dec 30, 2011 8:57 PM GMT
    Mm, discovering gay cultre has taught me what true masculinity is, and how much of what's portrayed as masculine in our heterocentric culture is often far from it.
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    Dec 30, 2011 9:41 PM GMT
    Trepeat saidMm, discovering gay cultre has taught me what true masculinity is, and how much of what's portrayed as masculine in our heterocentric culture is often far from it.


    Very interesting Trepeat. As I mentioned in my post, In connecting closely with other men, I have found a greater sense of masculinity in myself. Is that similar for you or is your statement in reference to something else?
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    Dec 30, 2011 9:59 PM GMT
    tollerance, and the what being a real man is all about....
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    Dec 30, 2011 10:05 PM GMT
    That finally there aren't anymore blankets to hide underneath.. One can finally and truly be WHO they are!
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    Dec 30, 2011 10:08 PM GMT
    That being gay simply means I fall in love with men, rather than defining who I am and what I can achieve.
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    Dec 30, 2011 10:15 PM GMT
    I learned that gays provide me with a better social & emotional support structure than I ever had in the civilian straight world. It reminds me of the US military in how guys look after each other, but without it being a somewhat ritualized obligation like in uniform.

    And that I've never had so many good friends in my entire life, that people actually like me and I'm almost always smiling and laughing. In my straight life I was rather sullen & lonely. Being gay taught me to appreciate and like people more, that there's a place in the world where I finally fit in. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 30, 2011 10:31 PM GMT
    The most important thing it teaches is empathy. I really relate to people who are ostracized by society just for being themselves. I wouldn't be this tolerant of diversity if I wasn't 'different'.
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    Dec 30, 2011 11:30 PM GMT
    Al, Great words of wisdom all. I certainly can relate to themes of finely being myself and not defining self by sexuallity.

    Sweetyork, I really connect with your statement on empathy.
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    Dec 30, 2011 11:32 PM GMT
    Just because you're gay doesn't mean that other gay people will be "tolorant" of you.
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    Dec 30, 2011 11:44 PM GMT
    smthjock said1. Sexuality does not define me.
    2. Thank god I will never have to be with a woman in my life


    Amen to 1. and icon_lol.gif to 2
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    Dec 30, 2011 11:57 PM GMT
    Cityaznguy said
    smthjock said1. Sexuality does not define me.
    2. Thank god I will never have to be with a woman in my life


    Amen to 1. and icon_lol.gif to 2


    I must say, if I never see another naked women for the rest of my life, I will die a happy man!!!!icon_eek.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 30, 2011 11:59 PM GMT
    Chattman91 saidJust because you're gay doesn't mean that other gay people will be "tolorant" of you.


    So I have learned (i.e. Gold Card carrying gay threads on this site)icon_confused.gif
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    Dec 31, 2011 12:01 AM GMT
    How to fake tan without streaking
    How to spot fake Gucci at twenty paces
    How to get a souffle to rise

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    Dec 31, 2011 12:03 AM GMT
    Acceptance! If I cant accept myself for who I am and others for who they are then how can I expect others to accept me?...