Why do we cheat?

  • Adam00

    Posts: 39

    Dec 30, 2011 7:09 PM GMT
    i cheated my boyfriend but i love him,,,,,,, i met many guys who are married or living together or in a relation and they are cheating and they have many excuses,,,,

    he is far

    i am bored

    just for fun

    bla bla bla

    do we gays like the sex adventures even if we have lovers??
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    Dec 30, 2011 11:46 PM GMT
    I think there's a lot of reasons why gays have a reputation for promiscuity and infidelity... and they're all right.

    One factor is that gay relationships are already outside the convention and mainstream, thusly making more attractive the alternative routes of pursuing relations with others, up to and including what we call "cheating" or "promiscuity".
    Our moral economy is not similar to the conventional heteronormative (to don a monocle and use a term). This also makes open relationships seemingly more common (or visible at least) among gay couples.

    Secondly, guys are pigs and we love sex, and sex is the easiest thing for a gay guy to find. It's the relationships that last more than six weeks that are impossible.

    The reason for this is cultural, in my estimation, and many of us are hugely influenced by cultural (or peer, or family, or whatever) pressure. Sex is easy for us to find, so our culture takes on that and those who enter are treated, for lack of better terms, as though they are new pieces of meat. Because they are.

    Our sex is a currency we choose to use and due to the various factors, we use it often, and often in unseemly and unsafe ways, driving a stereotype based quite in fact, not to mention the spread of disease.

    This isn't to say we do not engage safely in sex, and it is true we are moving away from the cultural necessity to seek sex in unseemly places (truck stops, parks, etc) and many of us espouse "ethical sluttiness" to borrow a term.

    But life is so much more complicated, and these very drives towards physical fulfillment, however fleeting, does conflict with the drive to not be alone, to find companionship and love, however conceived. It's not so much that we're doing it, it's how okay we are with doing it.
  • lykewise

    Posts: 30

    Dec 31, 2011 12:26 AM GMT
    "Why do we cheat?"

    *Sassy black woman activated* Don't you dare making this a we thing...
    You did it, it was a personal choice.
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    Dec 31, 2011 1:19 AM GMT
    First, not all men cheat. In my limited experience, the only people I know who have cheated were deeply flawed, neurotic, immature and deceptive liars. I personally have never been in a committed relationship and cheated on anyone, nor has (to the best of my knowledge) a lover of mine cheated on me. I guess if you cheated, or got cheated on, you might want to check the people you are or the people you date.
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    Dec 31, 2011 2:29 AM GMT
    We cheat it's impossible to remember everything for the finals.
  • Trepeat

    Posts: 546

    Dec 31, 2011 3:04 AM GMT
    I cheat cause my friends are always stupid enough to be the Banker. icon_twisted.gif
  • Adam00

    Posts: 39

    Dec 31, 2011 10:19 AM GMT
    Trepeat saidI cheat cause my friends are always stupid enough to be the Banker. icon_twisted.gif


    so we have a new reason now,,,lol

    but i understand that not every one cheat and not every one who had cheated his lover will come to say it here

    but it is true,,,gays are sex animals,,,,that is my opinion,
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    Dec 31, 2011 11:26 AM GMT
    I would love to know that too.For me there is no logic to cheat a BF or a partner
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    Jan 02, 2012 8:43 PM GMT
    Because people think they can get away with it.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11829

    Jan 02, 2012 8:48 PM GMT
    Just like dogs they lick their cock cause they can........
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    Jan 02, 2012 8:49 PM GMT
    You can do a lot of thing to someone and love someone. It's a romantic notion to think that just because you love someone you won't ever hurt them.

    I've never felt the need to chest on my boyfriend, and he knows that. I always tell him I would tell him first and its true.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2012 8:51 PM GMT
    When you aren't getting love from someone who should love you...

    (you are in a bad relationship or your significant other isn't caring about you)

    then you will seek attention and love from someone who will. It's the honest truth.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 02, 2012 8:51 PM GMT
    because you guys are weak thats why you cheat,icon_evil.gif
  • Jayjames

    Posts: 321

    Jan 02, 2012 8:52 PM GMT
    Well I have never cheated! Ever! If you wanna fuck other people either have an agreement with your partner and or don't be in a relationship!

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    Jan 02, 2012 8:54 PM GMT
    Because English isn't my first language.

    Also because I held a gun to his head.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2012 8:55 PM GMT
    Because English isn't my first language.

    Also because I held a gun to his head.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2012 9:04 PM GMT
    Because you lack resolve. Because you don't want a monogamous relationship but you lied to yourself and your partner into thinking you did.
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    Jan 02, 2012 9:46 PM GMT
    because something new and exciting comes along...fresher,cuter,hotter...its the grass is always greener thing...same reason men jerk off over different photos of various guys....and I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING...just giving the reason i think guys cheat...
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    Jan 03, 2012 12:09 AM GMT


    Why do we cheat? It's not because we are gay it's because we are men lol

    I wouldn't cheat on my partner... But that's just me though...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2012 3:12 AM GMT
    Never cheated. I won't say I never will because anything's possible, but I'm very logical about my emotions.

    Case in point:
    If I want to cheat, then I'm not happy with the current arrangement.
    If I'm not happy with the current arrangement, I'll want to fix it.
    If I want to fix something, then it will be fixed (I'm very type A in that regard).

    So for me, the logical thing would be to break up and move toward what I really want. Historically speaking, I don't leave loose ends or "unfinished business" and I've no reason to believe that would change. I genuinely don't seek to hurt people, so I'd rather let them down instead of cheating on them and hurting them MORE.
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    Jan 03, 2012 3:18 AM GMT
    you cheat because you don't love your partner no matter how much you try to come up with excuses for it. everyone is tempted a million times to cheat but many don't if they truly love their partner. it aint that difficult keeping one's dick away from the hole that which is not his partner's!

    just put yourself in his position: how would u feel if u got cheated on?? yeah exactly that's why you shouldn't cheat.

    and please don't use "we". if many gays (and straights) cheat it doesnt mean we all cheat. very easy to generalize when one is in the wrong, but so easy to single oneself out when being right...
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    Jan 03, 2012 3:24 AM GMT
    I cheated in the past. Both times, it was for revenge. Doesn't make it right, but I understand and own why I did it. All one can do going forward it attempt to be better.
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    Jan 03, 2012 3:25 AM GMT
    who is 'we'?

    speak for someone else

    cuz I don't cheat
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    Jan 03, 2012 3:28 AM GMT
    smartmoney saidFirst, not all men cheat. In my limited experience, the only people I know who have cheated were deeply flawed, neurotic, immature and deceptive liars. I personally have never been in a committed relationship and cheated on anyone, nor has (to the best of my knowledge) a lover of mine cheated on me. I guess if you cheated, or got cheated on, you might want to check the people you are or the people you date.



    I dont know anyone who is without flaws, some of them deep, in certain areas of their lives..... and most people are quite neurotic. lol. That's all icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 03, 2012 3:30 AM GMT
    All of these non-conventional relationship arguments and the fact that homosexual relationships don't fit into societal norms are in my opinion totally invalid. I think it is natural for people to be attracted to other people, I understand that, but it is a conscious decision to cheat on someone and there is no justification to it, at the end of the day, you chose to betray your partner, for an hour (or whatever) of instant gratification and that is not okay.

    It's about willpower. Just because you have an urge, doesn't mean you have to act on it - plain and simple. Any justification for acting on those urges are excuses made by shitty people that want to feel okay about what they did.

    Maybe I have such strong feelings because my most recent relationship ended with him cheating on me, not physically, but emotionally and that made it that much worse. He fell out of love with me and in love with someone else behind my back.