The Public Gay Couple

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 30, 2011 11:31 PM GMT
    I've recently been on the look out for gay couples, but not those ones disguised in their "hetero-bromance" persona's but rather the openly gay ones. You see, the hidden gay couples are old news; either you've accepted them or forgotten about them. However the open gay couples are fresh news. (Point out diction "fresh" because that is what it is- good, refreshing and somehow indulging!) Ive come across few couples this open and its an exciting site! Two guys holding hands. Nothing more, but in needn't be- it is so satisfying as is!

    I feel these couples are what needs to become a regularity to society. As a young gay man, I find them inspiring and reassuring. I can also tell you there are far too few of them! I ask you, what should prevent you from holding your partners hand in public? Your sexual preference should not result in you living a second hand citizenship, one in which your every right is not infringed, but "tweaked" to suit society.

    We are only as good as we are taught to be. Well if this be true then I ask you to lead the youth into a society where two guys holding hands are what the sun is to everyday, a regularity.

    Please guys!icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 30, 2011 11:45 PM GMT

    "I feel these couples are what needs to become a regularity to society. As a young gay man, I find them inspiring and reassuring. I can also tell you there are far too few of them!"

    lol, you just described one of the reasons we're here, to show others what's possible and that anyone can have it (let's face it, if average-nothing-special-about us could do it, then so can most people). icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 31, 2011 12:00 AM GMT
    ^ I cant tell you what a huge smile your profile put on my face. God bless you guys! The world needs more of you "average-nothing-special-about us " kind of guys, because honestly you make average seem very VERY SPECIAL!icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 31, 2011 4:06 AM GMT
    I was on exchange down in Albuquerque, NM last year. The on-campus student group, the Queer-Straight Alliance, was waaaaay above and beyond my expectations. They were the most active student group at UNM. They had around 300 people at their first annual meeting in the fall, and in addition to weekly meetings, held a drag show in the fall and a talent show in the spring that drew 800 people give or take. I think in part due to the atmosphere they helped foster, I regularly saw gay couples on campus holding hands. (ok, plus its a campus, so usually a little safer.)
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Dec 31, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    Meh. Either way its 2 people holding hands. WHO CARES?
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    Dec 31, 2011 4:26 AM GMT
    This is something that bothers me to a degree with my friends more so than couples.

    We live in LA. Gay central. When we are out if I bring up a gay topic they often respond in a hushed voice or tell me to keep my voice down. I mean we are not in Alabama for god sake. Im like "dude, its ok to be gay outside of west hollywood. Its not like we are going to get jumped at the fucking Beverly Center"
  • Mondo_Bongo

    Posts: 80

    Dec 31, 2011 4:46 AM GMT
    i always wanted to see gay couples walking hands by hands.kissing in public and see how happy they are..but i never saw that,,seeing them happy would made me day so good !!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
    If i can hold my boyfriend's hand in the middle of toledo, ohio or colorado springs, without anyone blinking then you can do it damn near anywhere. And we are the only couple i have ever seen do it outside of pride parades or gayborhoods. So awkward when guys are obviously together but wont touch each other for fear of someone looking. Everyone knows... And noone is going to say a damn thing to you when you hold his hand.
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    Dec 31, 2011 5:01 AM GMT
    We do the hand holding in public thing sometimes - walking, or at restaurants, cafes, concerts, but not brazenly. (We don't do it at H20-polo games though - - that wouldn't cut it). We don't do any 'in your face' PDA. I'm not too worried about getting any homophobic wisecracks about it either. I mean, at 6'2" nobody bothers us. It is good seeing other gay couples out and around doing the same thing sometimes. There are plenty of us now.

    icon_cool.gif
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    Dec 31, 2011 5:30 AM GMT
    I generally don't hold hands when walking with my partner on most occasions, just seems a little kiddy to me. But we will hold hands in restaurants, and not just in gay-friendly areas like Wilton Manors. And when we have a parting, like if I'm leaving his office, or when we've each had a stay in a hospital room and the other leaves, we'll kiss with people looking on, without inhibition.

    More significant I think is the way we speak freely of our relationship in front of strangers, both directly and indirectly, just like straight married couples do. I may be shopping for kitchen gifts for him, and in asking the salesperson to help me with good suggestions, I'll mention my partner's cooking preferences in our kitchen, making it clear I'm buying this for a man I live with.

    Or we'll be together shopping for home furnishings, and we'll speak openly of our home we share, in ways that make clear we're not just roommates. I suppose one of the most blatant examples was when we went shopping for a new mattress. We talked about "my side" and "your side" as we both tried it out lying next to each other, and told the salesperson we wanted one that wouldn't disturb our sleep when the other moved around at night, a problem with our current mattress. Didn't leave a lot of doubt about what our sleeping arrangements were.

    So it's in these quite ordinary ways that we make no concessions to how straights might think about us. As I said, our method is to behave like a straight couple would in public, in a completely natural and non-selfconscious way. It's rather liberating, and a helluva lot easier than constantly having to disguise ourselves, and guard every word we say.
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Dec 31, 2011 5:33 AM GMT
    Ah... soon enough.

    *crosses fingers*
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    Dec 31, 2011 5:51 AM GMT
    I love seeing gay couples out and about. On the pda front, as long as they're not snogging in the corner, have at it. Holding hands, a random peck on the lips/cheek, I'm all about it! Sadly... never dated a guy that would hold my hand in public... icon_sad.gif I've tried, but they pull away. lol so I just yell 'you're sleeping on the couch tonight' and that usually changes the situation. haha
  • ytOwen

    Posts: 298

    Dec 31, 2011 8:29 AM GMT
    Individual tastes and preferences aside, I think that being able to walk down a street and hold a guy's hand is THE basic test for how liberal a society is.
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    Dec 31, 2011 8:38 AM GMT
    We were always very open with our affection regardless of where we were plus playful like two puppies. If we were seated in a restaurant in booth we generally both were on the same side. We weren’t obscene with the PDA or anything, but made it pretty obvious that we were a couple. And the straighter the venue the more likely we were to do it. We couldn’t help aiming for a little shock value. Unfortunately we never had an incident, even at gun shows, car shows or the run-up to the Tea Party. Both of us were very active, very right wing republicans and nothing ever to report.

    We were a little more careful around families with kids. We wanted to leave it up to the parents regarding when they wanted to explain the birds and the birds and the bees and the bees to the kids.

    DSCN0574-1.jpg
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    Jan 01, 2012 10:51 AM GMT
    Its great to hear your responses!icon_biggrin.gif
    I used holding hands as an example. What I was implying was that it would be nice to see gay couples out in public and showing they're a couple. Some visual reassurance that you're not the only one out there. I do understand that many couples arent as affectionate...
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    Jan 01, 2012 2:54 PM GMT
    I totally agree. It was actually a great feeling to be "open" with my last boyfriend in a mid-sized conservative town. The little gestures, like when one of us would have his arm around the other while we sat in a theater, really made my heart melt, and made other people open their minds a bit. It felt doubly good when we never experienced any negative responses.
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    Jan 01, 2012 3:00 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree saidWe were always very open with our affection regardless of where we were plus playful like two puppies. If we were seated in a restaurant in booth we generally both were on the same side. We weren’t obscene with the PDA or anything, but made it pretty obvious that we were a couple. And the straighter the venue the more likely we were to do it. We couldn’t help aiming for a little shock value. Unfortunately we never had an incident, even at gun shows, car shows or the run-up to the Tea Party. Both of us were very active, very right wing republicans and nothing ever to report.

    We were a little more careful around families with kids. We wanted to leave it up to the parents regarding when they wanted to explain the birds and the birds and the bees and the bees to the kids.

    DSCN0574-1.jpg



    Cute pic!

    "And the straighter the venue the more likely we were to do it. We couldn’t help aiming for a little shock value."
    I lol-ed at this! Bill and I aren't very overt with PDAs, but the way we look at each other, grin and behave makes it very obvious we're a couple.

    -Doug
    ...and of course there's those wedding rings. icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 01, 2012 3:09 PM GMT
    It just depends on when and where for me. It's a saftey issue as well as like my ex and I discussed. We didn't want to place some hetro parents in a hard situation of having to explain gay to a child that asked why he and I were holding hands. We would often go on dates to the park and walk/run together or on dates when we would go eat... we would go walk it off and it would just happen like that.
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    Jan 01, 2012 4:18 PM GMT
    Ryan_Andrew saidIt just depends on when and where for me. It's a saftey issue as well as like my ex and I discussed. We didn't want to place some hetro parents in a hard situation of having to explain gay to a child that asked why he and I were holding hands. We would often go on dates to the park and walk/run together or on dates when we would go eat... we would go walk it off and it would just happen like that.


    Exactly. We were a bit more careful in those situations. We let the parents have those discussions with the kids when they were ready and not when we forced them to.
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    Jan 01, 2012 4:28 PM GMT
    My man and I hold hands when we feel like, give a nice kiss every now and then out in public. We are affectionate with each other without grossing anyone else out except a few str8 people who are visiting Los Angeles.

    I won't let this fucked up society tell me what or how to live. I love my man,,I'm very happy. I can express it too.
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    Jan 01, 2012 4:36 PM GMT
    This is the pic on our luggage tags, our return address labels and our joint Capital One Credit Cards. (Always want merchants to know about 'pink dollars")
    It's also the one we used when we write for journals (My husband is an MD Psychiatrist and I'm just a social GLBT volunteer gadfly)

    We hold hands in public, kiss each other goodbye when we have to leave the gym separately and snuggle on airplanes.

    Picture%252520006.jpg

    PS I'm the one on the right.

    PPS The only 'funny' thing that ever happened was in a checkout line at a supermarket. Lady took the card to check the expiration date and yelled out loudly, "Are You Two Singers?"
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    Jan 01, 2012 4:37 PM GMT
    I'm very affectionate even with my friends, I like to walk arm and arm with whoever I'm with man or woman.

    It's totally normal in other parts of the world for two guys to walk that way, however hand holding and kissing in public isn't in my experience.

    I too find it totally refreshing and it makes me giddily happy.
    I'm frequently in and out of relationships (I choose to believe I'm optimistic for continuing to try and not damaged goods for not getting it right) and when I'm with someone I am a public hand holder and kisser... I also live in San Francisco, it's more like I'm indulging in the liberal city that offers me that luxury than making a social or political point.

    When I travel to other cities with the boyfriend of the season I hold hands and kiss in public, THAT is a social and political point. A point always worth making.
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    Jan 01, 2012 4:44 PM GMT
    Bigsmiles saidThis is the pic on our luggage tags, our return address labels and our joint Capital One Credit Cards. (Always want merchants to know about 'pink dollars")
    It's also the one we used when we write for journals (My husband is an MD Psychiatrist and I'm just a social GLBT volunteer gadfly)

    We hold hands in public, kiss each other goodbye when we have to leave the gym separately and snuggle on airplanes.

    Picture%252520006.jpg

    PS I'm the one on the right.

    PPS The only 'funny' thing that ever happened was in a checkout line at a supermarket. Lady took the card to check the expiration date and yelled out loudly, "Are You Two Singers?"



    Hey, nice pic!!!

    *grins happily*
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    Jan 01, 2012 4:47 PM GMT
    EasilyDistracted saidI'm very affectionate even with my friends, I like to walk arm and arm with whoever I'm with man or woman.

    It's totally normal in other parts of the world for two guys to walk that way, however hand holding and kissing in public isn't in my experience.

    I too find it totally refreshing and it makes me giddily happy.



    *jaw drops to floor*

    It's EasilyDistracted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Happy New Year, you!

    (this is so great I can't stand it)

    -Doug
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    Jan 01, 2012 4:52 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    freedomisntfree saidWe were always very open with our affection regardless of where we were plus playful like two puppies. If we were seated in a restaurant in booth we generally both were on the same side. We weren’t obscene with the PDA or anything, but made it pretty obvious that we were a couple. And the straighter the venue the more likely we were to do it. We couldn’t help aiming for a little shock value. Unfortunately we never had an incident, even at gun shows, car shows or the run-up to the Tea Party. Both of us were very active, very right wing republicans and nothing ever to report.

    We were a little more careful around families with kids. We wanted to leave it up to the parents regarding when they wanted to explain the birds and the birds and the bees and the bees to the kids.

    DSCN0574-1.jpg



    Cute pic!

    "And the straighter the venue the more likely we were to do it. We couldn’t help aiming for a little shock value."
    I lol-ed at this! Bill and I aren't very overt with PDAs, but the way we look at each other, grin and behave makes it very obvious we're a couple.

    -Doug
    ...and of course there's those wedding rings. icon_wink.gif


    He was hugely closeted around his house. I’d come pick him up to do something on the weekend on a nice day so I’d take one of the old cars. He lived in a neighborhood that had several older timers in it so he’d run out of the house to get to my car before next door neighbor Bill would come out to talk to me about my car. The 61 Ventura would get all the old timers out. He was so afraid that Bill, who drank a bit, would say something to Cary’s dad after he had a few. It was all so cute, but once in the car, cary would have a hard on before the end of the street every time.

    We’d frequently head up to Santa Barbara for at least Sunday, if not the weekend, combined sometimes with an out of town car show. When some old codger who didn’t know me would come up near the car, he’d ask if this was my car, and I’d say no and point at Cary. It was fun listening to cary trying to tell all about the car. He’d heard me do it umpteen million times. Then they’d look inside and see that it was a 4-speed manual and look at cary again and ask: is this really your car? Shit, he couldn’t even parallel park his corolla. I offered to teach him how to drive the big old beast, but he always declined – thank god. That would have shocked the crap out of everyone to see an Asian boi drive up in one of these.

    Yeah we were always messin’ with folks so everyone could have a good laugh. Never had a hint of a problem with other folks. Only in WeHo did that happen with folks who knew were Repubs. There, it was constant conflict.

    Here he was being a little closeted. He knew I very much liked Tim Russert and I was out of state when Tim did his book signing so Cary did this for me. (Notice that he cut himself out of the pic.)

    russert20and20co-1.jpg