i wonder how many gay couples haves called it quits on new year's...

  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 31, 2011 2:10 PM GMT
    decieding to use new year as an appropriate time to end a relationship and move on with their life icon_question.gif



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  • jboy84

    Posts: 556

    Dec 31, 2011 2:20 PM GMT
    I split up with someone on NYE.. but it wasn't a planned, thought out thing..
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    Dec 31, 2011 2:27 PM GMT
    My ex ended it a week after NYE almost a year ago. I had a feeling around Christmas and then NYE the feeling grew stronger that something was up.

    I will never understand someone giving up on three and a half years. No one is perfect, but if you truly care for someone and the relationship, you communicate with each other and put forth some effort to work through the difficult times. If you choose to put a ring on my finger, then I truly believe in "for better or for worse...in sickness and in health." Unfortunately, not everyone believes the way I do.
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    Dec 31, 2011 2:29 PM GMT
    And I wonder how many use it as the day to cement the relationship? Sure makes it easier to remember the anniversary. Ours is in early August, but neither of us thought to record the exact day he asked me to move in (we can't be formally married in this State), and we always kick ourselves over that. So our solution is to make the entire month of August our anniversary, starting with 8-1, and we celebrate for 31 days, whenever our schedules and other factors allow.

    BTW, mch, you keep coming back to this theme of breaking up. If this is indeed about yourself, you've been fence-sitting for quite a while now.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 31, 2011 2:46 PM GMT
    nikeathlete said...I will never understand someone giving up on three and a half years. No one is perfect, but if you truly care for someone and the relationship, you communicate with each other and put forth some effort to work through the difficult times. If you choose to put a ring on my finger, then I truly believe in "for better or for worse...in sickness and in health." Unfortunately, not everyone believes the way I do.



    yes, I feel the same way that you do.

    but, as you say, not everyone believes the way I do.
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    Dec 31, 2011 2:51 PM GMT
    Why wait to end something that's not right for me?

    But I think The New Year sometimes is a time where people loot at their lives and re-evaluate things. Its like that Peggy Lee song..."Is that all there is?"



  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 31, 2011 2:54 PM GMT
    White4DarkerFL saidWhy wait to end something that's not right for me?

    But I think The New Year sometimes cause people to look at the lives and re-evaluate themselves. Its like that Peggy Lee song..."Is that all there is?"







    unlike the Peggy Lee video (which i have always enjoyed! i'm just barely old enough to recall when she did the song), life is often not always black and white.



    ah relationships !
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    Dec 31, 2011 3:10 PM GMT
    rnch said
    White4DarkerFL saidWhy wait to end something that's not right for me?

    But I think The New Year sometimes cause people to look at the lives and re-evaluate themselves. Its like that Peggy Lee song..."Is that all there is?"







    unlike the Peggy Lee video (which i have always anjoyed!), life is not black and white.


    Yes, and I love this particular Peggy Lee song the most.

    She reminds me to not get too bogged down in disappointments and nuances. One day my life will be over, so Ms. Lee reminds me to have fun and that my life was meant to be enjoyed. Keep on dancing...break out the booze...and have a ball. I love it!
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    Dec 31, 2011 5:52 PM GMT
    Starting the new year single in a new city!

    Watch out icon_twisted.gif
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    Dec 31, 2011 6:57 PM GMT
    rnch saiddecieding to use new year as an appropriate time to end a relationship and move on with their life icon_question.gif



    icon_idea.gif


    I think you are looking at this the wrong way. I am in no position to tell you what to do with your relationship but you clearly feel something about it has to change. Why not see the new year as a time to reflect on how you can better address the issues that bother you? If you love him but feel you are incompatible than I suppose you could see it as a time to transition from lovers to lifelong friends. You may still love him but want him to be something he is not. Then you can see the new year as a time to accept him for who he is and make the most of it. He may want you to be someone you are not. Then it is time to have a talk that he has to accept you for who you are. Only if you are in a relationship with someone that you don't love and really are asking yourself why you ever thought you loved him should this be viewed as a complete severing of all communication. In all other cases it is the transitioning of the relationship from a form that doesn't work to one that does. There is nothing wrong with that and it should not be viewed as a loss in anyway. After all friendships are relationships too. If you have spent a lot of time nurturing this love why throw it away? Even if you have to separate it doesn't mean you can't stay connected.

    When we all find ourselves helplessly ill who will come to visit us? Even those who are in relationships now can not count on their lover being by their side. For starters he may have already passed away. We will all need a network of deep loving friends when times get tough.
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    Jan 02, 2012 1:01 AM GMT
    his has been an issue I have been having with my boyfriend...that led to us taking a break.....

    We have been apart for 12 days and finally I saw him on Friday...him and I with one of his friends..went out for the day to the mall..I saw him..and not even a hug, no affection at all..and his friends know! His parents don't however.

    It continued to bother me for the day and next..where was the affection...I asked him if he would be dancing with me nye night..he said No and not to expect a kiss....he did mention if we were at a gay bar it is ok.

    Don't get me wrong I don't care for public affection but it made me feel sad and it hurt...we went to his friends house for drinks and he said.."If her mom asks your just a friend"...again I felt a sting...I asked him to kiss me, and after some hesitation he did..however it was infront of my best friend to which he replied "Not infront of her"...I was like...She's totally cool..

    It made me feel sour about our relationship...his parents I understood and I accepted that he wasn't fully out...however i felt like i was being hiidden and kept in the closet...but I've been out to friends for a while, and my parents know too...I'm trying to be understanding..but feel like I am going backwards.

    We are taking a break after a large argument where i felt we were on 2 different roads..I do however love him and he loves me...so much that when i was distant with him and kinda told him i was mad..he came to me at the counddown and kiss med at midnight...it was so great..but i was drunk and mad that it didn't change my thoughts..now looking back I should of just dropped it after the kiss...

    I love him so much and im giving him "space" for the day but am worried it is over...

    Any thoughts???
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    Jan 02, 2012 1:08 AM GMT
    WELL, my BF gave me the walking papers on the 28th.. 3 days ago. we were not perfect ( who is) but as he said.. 'I want more"..
    i had really hoped he would give in and at least text me last night..but nope.
    So, guess it is what it is... im hoping for a great 2012.
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    Jan 02, 2012 1:40 AM GMT
    i am sorry that happened to you bro..HUGS...

    i am sure just as many hetero couples break up on New Years....
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 02, 2012 2:29 AM GMT
    UPDATE: my bf of almost 4 years and I agreed earlier today to spend some time apart from each other.

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    Jan 02, 2012 2:58 AM GMT
    Next new year you can surprise him with something like this, which was flown today:

    marrymeagain.jpg