Unspoken Assumptions

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  Jun 17, 2008 8:29 PM GMT

  I think there are lots of unspoken assumptions that often get in the way of decent communication both in real life and certainly on networking sites like this. I'd love to find a way past it. Like the assumption that a profile visit or email is either somehow dangerous or a complete waste of time.

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  Jun 18, 2008 12:25 AM GMT

  Its not so much a problem here but there is also the assumption that gay guys just want sex or that a bi guy will cheat

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  Jun 18, 2008 12:37 AM GMT

  gunnerick saidI think there are lots of unspoken assumptions that often get in the way of decent communication both in real life and certainly on networking sites like this. I'd love to find a way past it. Like the assumption that a profile visit or email is either somehow dangerous or a complete waste of time.

  
  
  Interesting that you think a profile visit or an email is a complete waste of time, or is that your impression of what other RJ members are thinking? I take both as they come, I answer all emails (not that I am deluged or anything) and will keep up a conversation if we have something to talk about. Or sometimes I want to compliment a member on a good post.

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  Jun 18, 2008 2:14 AM GMT

  JBE60 said Interesting that you think a profile visit or an email is a complete waste of time, or is that your impression of what other RJ members are thinking?

  
  
  No, not I, but it's the impression I get from those who never acknowledge my emails to them. Am I reading too much into it?
  
  I always try to respond in some way to every email I receive, but I myself am no saint in this department. I don't always respond to visits, but I feel bad that I might then be leaving the impression that I only have a bad opinion of the person. I've recently added some explanations in my own profile that I hope will help others understand where I'm coming from.

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  Jun 18, 2008 9:14 AM GMT

  I've just stopped complaining about the few emails that seem to have been sucked into the event horizon and just assume (hehe) that they have good enough reasons. Much easier than imagining all sorts of stuff about it.

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• GQjock
  
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  Jun 18, 2008 10:07 AM GMT

  We now have to respond to someone who visited our profile?
  I get it and do try to respond to everyone who emails me
  but I don't think it means anything if someone just wandered by and looked at your profile
  

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  Jun 18, 2008 10:21 AM GMT

  When I look at the bad apples in my fruit bowl, I just cut out the bad parts and enjoy the good parts, if not just throw them away. So what if the green apple is the one I wanted? I'll can it and find all that's good in the red apples and make a pie out of them.... you feel me????

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  Jun 19, 2008 9:53 PM GMT

  GQjock saidWe now have to respond to someone who visited our profile?
  I get it and do try to respond to everyone who emails me
  but I don't think it means anything if someone just wandered by and looked at your profile
  

  
  
  Yes, you HAVE to! JK!
  
  No, actually. You are right about casual visits. I guess what bugs me the most though is when I've emailed a simple hello to someone, they visit but then don't say anything at all.

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  Jun 19, 2008 10:31 PM GMT

  GQ the lack of a responce is just a reflection of how most people are raised, no manners. Went to a party, and sent a thank you for having a good time at the Party. gor a responce of awe from the fact that I sent a Thank you

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• badtouch
  
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  Jun 19, 2008 10:34 PM GMT

  gunnerick saidI guess what bugs me the most though is when I've emailed a simple hello to someone, they visit but then don't say anything at all.

  
  
  i find that the simplest messages are the most difficult in terms of creating a response. no conversation was actually started, after all. a salutation does not a conversational catalyst make.

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  Jun 24, 2008 9:11 AM GMT

  badtouch said[quote][cite]gunnerick said[/cite]I guess what bugs me the most though is when I've emailed a simple hello to someone, they visit but then don't say anything at all.

  
  
  i find that the simplest messages are the most difficult in terms of creating a response. no conversation was actually started, after all. a salutation does not a conversational catalyst make.[/quote]
  
  Well, I don't just say "Hello" and leave it at that. I agree--those are very weird to do something with!

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  Jun 24, 2008 10:30 AM GMT

  GNOME08 saidGQ the lack of a responce is just a reflection of how most people are raised, no manners. Went to a party, and sent a thank you for having a good time at the Party. gor a responce of awe from the fact that I sent a Thank you

  
  
  Gnome and Gunner you guys are absolutely right
  there are no manners on the web
  and I think mainly that's because of the relative anonymity the web provides for us
  If someone said hello to you on the street the avg guy would definitely say hello back
  but here thats not the case
  

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  Jun 24, 2008 1:47 PM GMT

  gunnerick saidI think there are lots of unspoken assumptions that often get in the way of decent communication both in real life and certainly on networking sites like this. I'd love to find a way past it. Like the assumption that a profile visit or email is either somehow dangerous or a complete waste of time.

  
  
  Another one is that because the person is under 21, there is no way he has anything to contribute to a relationship.
  
  Or how that person lives because of his profile photos, i.e. dancing in a club and posing half naked in another. One would assume he was a clubber looking to get laid, when it could be that those are the only photos he likes of himself and is actually looking for a serious relationship.
  
  I'm sure there are more but I haven't had my morning coffee yet, so my mind isn't completely awake yet

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