Newt Weeps for Mom

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    Dec 31, 2011 11:30 PM GMT
    I fully understand, Newt, I'm going through this right now with a parent and Alzheimer’s. It's surprisingly difficult.

    http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2011/12/30/newt_gingrich_weeps_recalling_impact_of_his_mother_alzheimers.html
  • DesireIron

    Posts: 426

    Dec 31, 2011 11:50 PM GMT
    Evidently, Alzheimer's is a fuck up somehow of the insulin in the brain.


    Insulin nasal spray may slow Alzheimer's

    Memory function improved in up to three-fourths of patients using special device, new study finds


    "...The brains of people with Alzheimer’s either lack normal levels of insulin or are unable to metabolize the amounts that are present.

    However, simply giving a person insulin with the usual method used to treat diabetes would not solve the problem. In fact, it could be very dangerous.

    Psychiatrist Dr. Suzanne Craft and her team at the University of Washington and the Puget Sound VA developed a special device that inserts the insulin into the sinus cavities closest to the brain. From there, the protein travels along nerve cells reaching the brain within 15 to 20 minutes.

    Using memory tests and brain scans that show the chemical changes typical of Alzheimer’s, the University of Washington team found that two-thirds to three-fourths of the patients taking insulin improved, compared to those taking a placebo, a dummy medication.

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44489974/ns/health-alzheimers_disease/t/insulin-nasal-spray-may-slow-alzheimers/
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    Jan 01, 2012 1:36 AM GMT
    Thanks.

    It’s amazing how many aspects of daily life, that having virtually zero short term memory affect - from minor things like leaving lights on to more serious things like leaving an outside door open or turning the stove on and walking away forgetting that she was going to fix something. Or losing her purse multiple times or leaving it in a restaurant and on and on. Best one yet was starting her bath water and walking away forgetting it was running. Can't tell you what a nice mess that was, and then accusing my dad of doing it.

    And add that to the frequent tantrums followed by three hour pouting sessions. And once the pouting is over then the tantrums occurs again over the same issue as if it didn’t just happen.
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    Jan 01, 2012 5:49 AM GMT
    freedomisntfree saidThanks.

    It’s amazing how many aspects of daily life, that having virtually zero short term memory affect - from minor things like leaving lights on to more serious things like leaving an outside door open or turning the stove on and walking away forgetting that she was going to fix something. Or losing her purse multiple times or leaving it in a restaurant and on and on. Best one yet was starting her bath water and walking away forgetting it was running. Can't tell you what a nice mess that was, and then accusing my dad of doing it.

    And add that to the frequent tantrums followed by three hour pouting sessions. And once the pouting is over then the tantrums occurs again over the same issue as if it didn’t just happen.


    Freedom, I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. My hat is off to you for helping your her with this.

    My uncle has alzheimer's and my aunt is going through this too. I've had some long conversations with her, and I think its fortunate for him to stay in their home. One thing my aunt did was call in hospice to help. I used to think they were an end of life care facility, but they do more. So, they send out help for 15 hours a week of in home assistance. It gives her some time away to see a movie, visit with friends, etc.

    You and your mom will be in my thoughts.

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    Jan 01, 2012 7:09 AM GMT
    Thank you so much. My parents have a nice suburban home with a big park behind. My dad built a nice screened in porch on the back of the house about ten or fifteen years ago so my parents can spend the hours in the warm summer evenings sitting outside. My feeling was that they’d last longer and be happier in familiar surroundings versus a nursing home. After my dad had several falls I made the decision that I needed to do something, so after 30 years in SoCal I picked up and moved back.

    All their family and most of their friends are already gone. We just buried my dad’s last living brother a couple of weeks ago – a family of seven WWII veterans. Two didn’t make it back from the war so I only knew five of them.

    I’m probably one of the few that didn’t mind it much in SoCal. After 30 years you kind of have it wired. I loved cycling and I had weather all year to do so I did about 8,000 miles per year of it. Plus, I love the old car stuff and we were active all year around. I had a bunch of friends in SoCal, but all much older or much younger. My car and gun collector friends are all considerable older so they are starting to kick buckets. For several years I had been back here in Columbus fairly frequently doing deals. I almost always had clients in tow plus was very busy when I was back here so there wasn’t much opportunity to make friends.

    It’s following the same pattern back here with the real young guys 18 to maybe 23 or 24 who I work out with and have become friends and the much older car / gun guys who are 60-80. But due to weather, the car stuff is very seasonal.

    As I’ve mentioned around RJ several times, I do commercial real estate, but prices are about 1/10th as much here as coastal SoCal so one can accurately assume what that did to my income. A $500k deal takes just as much time if not more as a $5mil deal. True, I can practice nationally, but most of it ends up being local. Good thing is that I mostly work out of the house where I can keep my ear open for my dad falling or my mom throwing another fit. Bad thing is that it’s so taxing and frankly depressing. I went to two or three out of town car shows last year, but worried the entire time I’m gone. I love doing those things so I hate having to worry, but I do.

    I don’t know how much longer I can carry on, but I will somehow. What really scares me is that I’m getting old and when I’m really old I won’t have a ‘me’ around to help. I’ll be on my own, and the frailties of old age have really hit home in the 16 months I’ve been back here. I’m gonna be just like them in a few short years.

    First things first though, so I have to make my parents as comfortable as possible in their last year or so on this planet.

    Again, thanks for your thoughts and happy New Year’s.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Jan 01, 2012 4:04 PM GMT
    I think this moment of emotion for Newt Gingrich will only help him. He often-times comes off as the stereotypically cold, almost professorial-like politician. This humanized him. This showed people a layer of Newt Gingrich many had never seen before. This is a good thing.
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    Jan 01, 2012 4:09 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree saidThanks.

    It’s amazing how many aspects of daily life, that having virtually zero short term memory affect - from minor things like leaving lights on to more serious things like leaving an outside door open or turning the stove on and walking away forgetting that she was going to fix something. Or losing her purse multiple times or leaving it in a restaurant and on and on. Best one yet was starting her bath water and walking away forgetting it was running. Can't tell you what a nice mess that was, and then accusing my dad of doing it.

    And add that to the frequent tantrums followed by three hour pouting sessions. And once the pouting is over then the tantrums occurs again over the same issue as if it didn’t just happen.



    Oh yikes. I think we may be beginning to go down this route w/my Mom, and I really truly hope it isn't so, but an effect of the medications she's on in hospital. .

    Hang in there freedomisntfree!

    -Doug
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    Jan 01, 2012 4:28 PM GMT
    Freedom, Happy New Year to you too!!!

    Your story has a familiar ring to it, as I had an ad agency in San Francisco. I'd make trips out to FL to check on my mid-late 80's parents....eventually in 2008 I was there for three months and several back and forth trips. Then January 2009, they had a serious car accident. Not their fault, but I think that marked the beginning of the end. My dad was a WWII vet and still a tough guy...so he's bleeding, had lacerations and a concussion, but fought with the cop about the hospital...."I'm fine. Just a little bleeding. Nooo, I don't need any damn hospital!" How different from people today, first thoughts are claiming injuries, you know?

    Anyway, the day I got the call about the accident, I dropped my car off at the transport facility, and got on a plane....and I haven't left since. The year 2009 was a bitch for me, but much worse for them. Things declined for my mother after the car wreck. She started developing fluid on the brain, and ended up needing brain surgery that July, and then was in the hospital for 3 weeks recovering and then to a rehab center for 3 months for therapy and to get her strength back. My dad insisted on visiting her every day. Unfortunately he caught a bad infection during that time...they say the hospital is the worst place in the world for old people, and I believe it. He never recovered from the infection, and passed away the following October.

    I still miss Dad terribly. He was the commensurate salesman and just had one of those memorable personalities. What I miss most is all our inside jokes that went back decades. And by no means was everything all peaches and cream...health problems in the elderly means enough stress, arguments, worry and frustrations for anybody. There is no training for it, and its all you. I took up smoking during the period, and needed a couple of glasses of wine to fall asleep every night.

    FIF, as somebody who has lost his father, my thoughts to you are this: Have you ever seen a movie, where at the end of the movie, they show clips from the best scenes, or funny retakes with the actors laughing and goofing around? Well, that happened to me after my dad passed. It was like his final year was a movie, but the best times, often little things, kept replaying in my head...coming back to me and giving me GREAT comfort.

    Mostly simple things. Times we went out to Starbucks or to Kilwin's for an ice cream. Then my dad needed to replace his car, so we'd spend hours trolling through dealer lots...we'd spend a whole day and drive 100+ miles doing this. During this time, you can't imagine all the great conversations we had about all the cars we'd had and stories about them. My dad was a big car fanatic, and his favorite car of all time was the Thunderbird, and he had several from 1958 to 1975 before switching to Oldsmobile and Cadillac. You can appreciate this...his favorite car of all time from his teen years was a 1936 Cord. I think he felt this next car was going to be his last, so he wanted to drag it out, which was fine by me....lol. During that time, I think we test drove probably 30 cars. Another favorite was my dad and I loved watching The Sopranos together....but mom left the room because she couldn't stand all the swearing and violence...hehe. And these moments were far from picture perfect...one trip to Costco involved mom knocking over a display of paper towels with the scooter cart. Good thing it wasn't booze! But the best memory was their wedding anniversary. My mom was in the rehab center, but we took her out to Ruth's Chris steakhouse for dinner. It was their 62nd anniversary. Nobody knew it, but this was their last, and was a good one.

    Of course, perfect moments like these often include less than perfect family or caregiver circumstances...but believe me, its the good parts that you'll remember. So I guess what I'm saying is...the more times you can hit the "hold" button, and do something not related to care giving or the necessary stuff in life...but just as family..a son and his parents...the better off you'll be. You'll cherish those moments when they're not able to enjoy them anymore.

    Give your mom and dad a big hug and tell them you love them. You can't do it often enough. I can still do that with mom...but how I regret not doing it more with dad.








  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 01, 2012 4:48 PM GMT
    What a pathetic show.. using his 'mother' to grab a sympathy vote..
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Jan 01, 2012 4:59 PM GMT
    TropicalMark saidWhat a pathetic show.. using his 'mother' to grab a sympathy vote..


    Actually, I think you're being pathetically cynical. Have a heart...Newt does icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 01, 2012 5:02 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ saidI think this moment of emotion for Newt Gingrich will only help him. He often-times comes off as the stereotypically cold, almost professorial-like politician. This humanized him. This showed people a layer of Newt Gingrich many had never seen before. This is a good thing.


    Actually, I've seen it before while his mom was still living, but very deep in this trouble.
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    Jan 01, 2012 5:04 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    freedomisntfree saidThanks.

    It’s amazing how many aspects of daily life, that having virtually zero short term memory affect - from minor things like leaving lights on to more serious things like leaving an outside door open or turning the stove on and walking away forgetting that she was going to fix something. Or losing her purse multiple times or leaving it in a restaurant and on and on. Best one yet was starting her bath water and walking away forgetting it was running. Can't tell you what a nice mess that was, and then accusing my dad of doing it.

    And add that to the frequent tantrums followed by three hour pouting sessions. And once the pouting is over then the tantrums occurs again over the same issue as if it didn’t just happen.



    Oh yikes. I think we may be beginning to go down this route w/my Mom, and I really truly hope it isn't so, but an effect of the medications she's on in hospital. .

    Hang in there freedomisntfree!

    -Doug


    Thanks Doug.

    Today has been better so far. No eruptions yet, but the day is not finished.

    No question meds can have an effect and hopefully just temporary !
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    Jan 01, 2012 5:11 PM GMT
    White4DarkerFL saidFreedom, Happy New Year to you too!!!

    Your story has a familiar ring to it, as I had an ad agency in San Francisco. I'd make trips out to FL to check on my mid-late 80's parents....eventually in 2008 I was there for three months and several back and forth trips. Then January 2009, they had a serious car accident. Not their fault, but I think that marked the beginning of the end. My dad was a WWII vet and still a tough guy...so he's bleeding, had lacerations and a concussion, but fought with the cop about the hospital...."I'm fine. Just a little bleeding. Nooo, I don't need any damn hospital!" How different from people today, first thoughts are claiming injuries, you know?

    Anyway, the day I got the call about the accident, I dropped my car off at the transport facility, and got on a plane....and I haven't left since. The year 2009 was a bitch for me, but much worse for them. Things declined for my mother after the car wreck. She started developing fluid on the brain, and ended up needing brain surgery that July, and then was in the hospital for 3 weeks recovering and then to a rehab center for 3 months for therapy and to get her strength back. My dad insisted on visiting her every day. Unfortunately he caught a bad infection during that time...they say the hospital is the worst place in the world for old people, and I believe it. He never recovered from the infection, and passed away the following October.

    I still miss Dad terribly. He was the commensurate salesman and just had one of those memorable personalities. What I miss most is all our inside jokes that went back decades. And by no means was everything all peaches and cream...health problems in the elderly means enough stress, arguments, worry and frustrations for anybody. There is no training for it, and its all you. I took up smoking during the period, and needed a couple of glasses of wine to fall asleep every night.

    FIF, as somebody who has lost his father, my thoughts to you are this: Have you ever seen a movie, where at the end of the movie, they show clips from the best scenes, or funny retakes with the actors laughing and goofing around? Well, that happened to me after my dad passed. It was like his final year was a movie, but the best times, often little things, kept replaying in my head...coming back to me and giving me GREAT comfort.

    Mostly simple things. Times we went out to Starbucks or to Kilwin's for an ice cream. Then my dad needed to replace his car, so we'd spend hours trolling through dealer lots...we'd spend a whole day and drive 100+ miles doing this. During this time, you can't imagine all the great conversations we had about all the cars we'd had and stories about them. My dad was a big car fanatic, and his favorite car of all time was the Thunderbird, and he had several from 1958 to 1975 before switching to Oldsmobile and Cadillac. You can appreciate this...his favorite car of all time from his teen years was a 1936 Cord. I think he felt this next car was going to be his last, so he wanted to drag it out, which was fine by me....lol. During that time, I think we test drove probably 30 cars. Another favorite was my dad and I loved watching The Sopranos together....but mom left the room because she couldn't stand all the swearing and violence...hehe. And these moments were far from picture perfect...one trip to Costco involved mom knocking over a display of paper towels with the scooter cart. Good thing it wasn't booze! But the best memory was their wedding anniversary. My mom was in the rehab center, but we took her out to Ruth's Chris steakhouse for dinner. It was their 62nd anniversary. Nobody knew it, but this was their last, and was a good one.

    Of course, perfect moments like these often include less than perfect family or caregiver circumstances...but believe me, its the good parts that you'll remember. So I guess what I'm saying is...the more times you can hit the "hold" button, and do something not related to care giving or the necessary stuff in life...but just as family..a son and his parents...the better off you'll be. You'll cherish those moments when they're not able to enjoy them anymore.

    Give your mom and dad a big hug and tell them you love them. You can't do it often enough. I can still do that with mom...but how I regret not doing it more with dad.



    "Then January 2009, they had a serious car accident"

    This is coming. He shouldn't be driving at 88. The 'give me the keys' conversation is coming up.

    But, you know, this is one thing that unites us as human beings, regardless of religion or political affiliation or race or national origin or….. We all have parents and they get old and have problems. I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your dad.

    And again, thanks very much for your kind words and thoughts.
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    Jan 01, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    freedomisntfree saidThanks.

    It’s amazing how many aspects of daily life, that having virtually zero short term memory affect - from minor things like leaving lights on to more serious things like leaving an outside door open or turning the stove on and walking away forgetting that she was going to fix something. Or losing her purse multiple times or leaving it in a restaurant and on and on. Best one yet was starting her bath water and walking away forgetting it was running. Can't tell you what a nice mess that was, and then accusing my dad of doing it.

    And add that to the frequent tantrums followed by three hour pouting sessions. And once the pouting is over then the tantrums occurs again over the same issue as if it didn’t just happen.



    Oh yikes. I think we may be beginning to go down this route w/my Mom, and I really truly hope it isn't so, but an effect of the medications she's on in hospital. .

    Hang in there freedomisntfree!

    -Doug


    Doug, dementia issues don't always start with memory issues. I had one relative who maintained his perfect memory. He would meet people once and remember their name and details of the conversation. His problem started with making some subtly poor decisions.

    The reason I bring this up is they just don't have the intellectual firepower to see through scams or bad deals like they used to. Con-artists (and greedy siblings) use just this gap to swindle the elderly out of their life savings. Happens every day.

    People don't think this can happen to their relative, but memory loss is a progressive disease. Another reason is denial. Based on what you're saying, you may want to encourage her to visit a neurologist or a memory clinic, and also not make any financial commitments without consulting family.


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    Jan 01, 2012 5:31 PM GMT


    Thanks White4Darker,
    "The reason I bring this up is they just don't have the intellectual firepower to see through scams or bad deals like they used to. Con-artists (and greedy siblings) use just this gap to swindle the elderly out of their life savings."

    This happened to her several months ago, and I had to assist her in changing all her accounts etc and fight it out with the scam company that was debiting her account.

    *has sinking feeling*
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    Jan 01, 2012 5:31 PM GMT
    White4DarkerFL said
    meninlove said
    freedomisntfree saidThanks.

    It’s amazing how many aspects of daily life, that having virtually zero short term memory affect - from minor things like leaving lights on to more serious things like leaving an outside door open or turning the stove on and walking away forgetting that she was going to fix something. Or losing her purse multiple times or leaving it in a restaurant and on and on. Best one yet was starting her bath water and walking away forgetting it was running. Can't tell you what a nice mess that was, and then accusing my dad of doing it.

    And add that to the frequent tantrums followed by three hour pouting sessions. And once the pouting is over then the tantrums occurs again over the same issue as if it didn’t just happen.



    Oh yikes. I think we may be beginning to go down this route w/my Mom, and I really truly hope it isn't so, but an effect of the medications she's on in hospital. .

    Hang in there freedomisntfree!

    -Doug


    Doug, dementia issues don't always start with memory issues. I had one relative who maintained his perfect memory. He would meet people once and remember their name and details of the conversation. His problem started with making some subtly poor decisions.

    The reason I bring this up is they just don't have the intellectual firepower to see through scams or bad deals like they used to. Con-artists (and greedy siblings) use just this gap to swindle the elderly out of their life savings. Happens every day.

    People don't think this can happen to their relative, but memory loss is a progressive disease. Another reason is denial. Based on what you're saying, you may want to encourage her to visit a neurologist or a memory clinic, and also not make any financial commitments without consulting family.




    VERY correct. My dad has gotten addicted to sweepstakes scams and thinks the 'prize van' will be rolling up to the door any minute. We get a ton of the biggest bullshit scam mail you ever saw, phone calls all day from Jamaica with '419 scams' plus he's had his checking account stolen, but his memory is still sharp.

    This is great that we all talk about this so no one who is going through will feel quite as isolated and alone. This is one of the most helpful threads of 2012.
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    Jan 01, 2012 5:59 PM GMT
    Actually some serious discussion above. You might do well to take time to read it.
  • CuriousJockAZ

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    Jan 01, 2012 6:02 PM GMT
    jpBITCHva saidPhotobucket



    Now now, JP...don't start the new year off by putting the "Bitch" in jpBITCHva icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 01, 2012 6:34 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ said
    TropicalMark saidWhat a pathetic show.. using his 'mother' to grab a sympathy vote..


    Actually, I think you're being pathetically cynical. Have a heart...Newt does icon_wink.gif



    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    This shallow glossing over of the reality of what Newt stands for is reprehensible. Yes I have sypathy for his mother's health problems so lets put that aside.

    But talk of Newts heart after his serving papers on his wife as she lay dying, then the second divorce over his other women, as he led the Congress through the dispicable sherade trying to impeach Clinton over his 'other woman' Heart my damned ass !!!


    Add this to his being a lap dog for the Israeli Lobby and making claims that Palestinians are an invented people, thereby supporting the Zionist 'Greater Israel' based on a bible story and the idea that Palestinians homeland is in Jordan.

    What does this lie that he supports for Israeli Lobby money do to thousands of Palestinians mothers, fathers, young men women and children? Where is his heart while he supports the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, that did the US nothing but harm ?

    Where is is heart for all those mothers of young US Soldiers who died for his NEO CON project?

    Where's his heart for all the tragic deaths of the Afghan and Iraqi people ?

    Quit making excuses for one of the worst lowest hearted warmongers running for President who has promised to give us yeat another war, this one with Iran .


    Some of you republicans ability to gloss over terrible deeds by these people you support is astounding.

    Be sympathetic for the sake of the mother who suffers from a desease, but not for this F'n Warmonger. Newt whose life course supports and represents the worst in Politics. Wake the Hell Up.
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    Jan 01, 2012 6:55 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree said

    "Then January 2009, they had a serious car accident"

    This is coming. He shouldn't be driving at 88. The 'give me the keys' conversation is coming up.

    But, you know, this is one thing that unites us as human beings, regardless of religion or political affiliation or race or national origin or….. We all have parents and they get old and have problems. I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your dad.

    And again, thanks very much for your kind words and thoughts.


    Thank you very much for your condolences.

    I can totally relate to your assessment. People who don't know often compare this to caring for a child...but no comparison in my mind. A kid falls, and gets right back up...but a fall can land an elderly person in the hospital. Parents gave us our life, a car, etc....now we're faced with taking it away or at least trying to cushion the loss as much as we can.

    So, yeah, hopefully we can carve out a RJ space on here that helps us all.
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    Jan 01, 2012 7:28 PM GMT
    realifedad said

    Be sympathetic for the sake of the mother who suffers from a desease, but not for this F'n Warmonger. Newt whose life course supports and represents the worst in Politics. Wake the Hell Up.


    I would never vote for Gingrich in a million years, but I think its important to have sympathy not only the mother, but their loved ones too. However, you might find this interesting...below is an excerpt from: Living History, by Hillary Rodham Clinton, p.211-212 Nov 1, 2003 [/i]

    "Our bedroom phone rang after midnight on Jan. 6, 1994 to tell Bill that his mother had just died in her sleep at her home in Hot Springs.

    The White House Press Office put out the news of Virginia's death, and when we turned on the TV set in our bedroom we saw the first news item flash on the screen: "The President's mother died earlier this morning after a long battle with cancer." It made the death seem terribly final. Then Bob Dole & Newt Gingrich appeared on the Today show for a previously scheduled appearance. They began talking about Whitewater: "It to me cries out for the appointment of a regulatory, independent counsel," Dole said. I looked over at Bill's face. He was utterly stricken. Bill was raised by his mother to believe that you don't hit people when they're down. That you treat even your adversaries in life or politics with decency. A few years later, someone told Bob Dole how much his words had hurt Bill that day, and to his credit, he wrote Bill a letter of apology."
    Source: Living History, by Hillary Rodham Clinton, p.211-212 Nov 1, 2003
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    Jan 01, 2012 7:42 PM GMT
    White4DarkerFL said
    realifedad said

    Be sympathetic for the sake of the mother who suffers from a desease, but not for this F'n Warmonger. Newt whose life course supports and represents the worst in Politics. Wake the Hell Up.


    I would never vote for Gingrich in a million years, but I think its important to have sympathy not only the mother, but their loved ones too. You might find this interesting....below is an excerpt from: Living History, by Hillary Rodham Clinton, p.211-212 Nov 1, 2003 [/i]

    "Our bedroom phone rang after midnight on Jan. 6, 1994 to tell Bill that his mother had just died in her sleep at her home in Hot Springs.

    The White House Press Office put out the news of Virginia's death, and when we turned on the TV set in our bedroom we saw the first news item flash on the screen: "The President's mother died earlier this morning after a long battle with cancer." It made the death seem terribly final. Then Bob Dole & Newt Gingrich appeared on the Today show for a previously scheduled appearance. They began talking about Whitewater: "It to me cries out for the appointment of a regulatory, independent counsel," Dole said. I looked over at Bill's face. He was utterly stricken. Bill was raised by his mother to believe that you don't hit people when they're down. That you treat even your adversaries in life or politics with decency. A few years later, someone told Bob Dole how much his words had hurt Bill that day, and to his credit, he wrote Bill a letter of apology."
    Source: Living History, by Hillary Rodham Clinton, p.211-212 Nov 1, 2003


    I see the thread killer has been here.

    Yes, I remember that. I admired Bill's mom, Virginia. I absolutely agree with her. There's plenty for time to fight, but for that moment in time, please. The best of my knowledge and my feeble memory, I don't think Bob Dole knew it.
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    Jan 01, 2012 7:47 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree saidI don’t know how much longer I can carry on, but I will somehow. What really scares me is that I’m getting old and when I’m really old I won’t have a ‘me’ around to help. I’ll be on my own, and the frailties of old age have really hit home in the 16 months I’ve been back here. I’m gonna be just like them in a few short years.

    First things first though, so I have to make my parents as comfortable as possible in their last year or so on this planet.

    Again, thanks for your thoughts and happy New Year’s.


    I have the same fear, and I know we're by no means alone. And its not just us gay guys. Compared to the WWII generation, Baby Boomers have fewer kids and more divorces.

    My 80 year old Aunt says 98% of the crap we worry about never comes to pass anyway. She say all we have is the current moment. She says if we ruminate over the past of worry about the future, we can't be fully alive in the present. I agree with that...but if you figure out how to do it, let me know...lol.

    Oh, yeah, have you ever seen the Sunscreen video? I think you'll like it. ;-)

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    Jan 01, 2012 7:50 PM GMT
    White4DarkerFL said
    freedomisntfree said

    "Then January 2009, they had a serious car accident"

    This is coming. He shouldn't be driving at 88. The 'give me the keys' conversation is coming up.

    But, you know, this is one thing that unites us as human beings, regardless of religion or political affiliation or race or national origin or….. We all have parents and they get old and have problems. I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your dad.

    And again, thanks very much for your kind words and thoughts.


    Thank you very much for your condolences.

    I can totally relate to your assessment. People who don't know often compare this to caring for a child...but no comparison in my mind. A kid falls, and gets right back up...but a fall can land an elderly person in the hospital. Parents gave us our life, a car, etc....now we're faced with taking it away or at least trying to cushion the loss as much as we can.

    So, yeah, hopefully we can carve out a RJ space on here that helps us all.


    One of the big differences is that a child grows up and gets better and we all know that’s not true in these circumstances with the parents.

    It is, however, a deeply unfortunate bond that unites us all as human beings.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 01, 2012 8:03 PM GMT
    White4DarkerFL said
    freedomisntfree saidI don’t know how much longer I can carry on, but I will somehow. What really scares me is that I’m getting old and when I’m really old I won’t have a ‘me’ around to help. I’ll be on my own, and the frailties of old age have really hit home in the 16 months I’ve been back here. I’m gonna be just like them in a few short years.

    First things first though, so I have to make my parents as comfortable as possible in their last year or so on this planet.

    Again, thanks for your thoughts and happy New Year’s.


    I have the same fear, and I know we're by no means alone. And its not just us gay guys. Compared to the WWII generation, Baby Boomers have fewer kids and more divorces.

    My 80 year old Aunt says 98% of the crap we worry about never comes to pass anyway. She say all we have is the current moment. She says if we ruminate over the past of worry about the future, we can't be fully alive in the present. I agree with that...but if you figure out how to do it, let me know...lol.

    Oh, yeah, have you ever seen the Sunscreen video? I think you'll like it. ;-)



    Holy shit, what a CUTIE - great video too. icon_wink.gif

    I hope you don't mind if a send this one around a bit today since its the start of a new year?