Contemplating a move soon...

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    Jan 01, 2012 5:35 AM GMT
    Its not that im depressed where i live now. i just used to be a lot happier. I moved to Florida 3 months ago and there have been many good memories/friendships made.

    There were many expectations i had of myself and my time here, and now Ive realized that most of those expectations will not be met.

    some of my expectations:

    SAVE money...This is probably my biggest disappointment of Orlando.I expected to be able to work as much as possible and put away a good amount each paycheck

    Find a job that makes me happy to go to work. My current job is not the worst ive ever had, but again, i could be happier.

    Meet a guy. Ive been on dates here and there but none that i felt a good connection with.

    I knew Orlando was going to be a temporary situation, but i may have to cut it short...the alternative is going back home to WI (yuck) to live with my family. OR some completely new adventure in a new city in the states!
    I feel like im wasting time here, and thats the last thing i want in my life

    any thoughtful input would be appreciated...just trying to think this through without doing anything too rushed
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    Jan 01, 2012 3:18 PM GMT
    Not sure what you do so... kind of hard to figure that out. If a stable career is more important than go to a city that offers that. For me right now it's getting a career going or go to grad or law school. We'll see which ones bites. I want a guy but that not on my list of priorities... I gotta take care of me first.
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    Jan 01, 2012 3:33 PM GMT
    San Francisco!

    You're young. You're hot. Now is the time to savor The Paris of the West.

    You will not regret it...unless you choose to go back to Wisconsin.
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Jan 01, 2012 3:40 PM GMT
    Sometimes a change of location isn't what is needed. Make sure you are running from something that has nothing to do with the community your live in.
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    Jan 01, 2012 3:59 PM GMT
    Three months is not a long time to give a place a chance, unless it were some say very small town far from things and you know its limitations. That would not apply to Orlando. Often people move from one location to another hoping that things will change, but they bring the issues with themselves and have no clear understanding how the change should be expected to improve things. I would suggest an area like Southern California that has much to offer, but the cost of living is not cheap and there is no reason to expect you could save more money compared to Orlando unless you got a job that paid a lot more. That's probably true of many alternate places you might consider, especially the large areas with a population large enough to give you maybe the best chance at a social life. If you consider other cities with the cost of living similar to Orlando, what would you expect to be different to make a difference for you?

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    Jan 01, 2012 4:14 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidSan Francisco!

    You're young. You're hot. Now is the time to savor The Paris of the West.

    You will not regret it...unless you choose to go back to Wisconsin.


    I don't think San Francisco would be ideal for him since his number one goal is to save money...think about it.
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    Jan 01, 2012 7:40 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidSan Francisco!

    You're young. You're hot. Now is the time to savor The Paris of the West.

    You will not regret it...unless you choose to go back to Wisconsin.


    ew how cliche.
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    Jan 01, 2012 9:16 PM GMT
    There is only one reason people move - because they are unhappy where they are. Were you unhappy in Wisconsin? You said you were actually happier.

    Three months is a very very short amount of time. You probably had exaggerated expectations about Orlando. It is impossible for the reality to live up to those expectations. You should reevaluate your expectations and make sure they are realistic.

    Everyone who works at a crappy job tells themselves that they will learn to love it or get that huge wage increase they deserve if they only stick it out for a couple more months. This scenario is unlikely to happen. Your job sucks now. Your job will still suck next year. That's ok. You are not your job, don't let work define your life.

    Keep going on dates. Keep meeting people. Try to learn something from each date. Eventually you will meet someone you like a lot. This doesn't have to happen in Orlando. You can date people anywhere.

    I think you should cut your losses and move back home. Whatever you do, don't continue to waste time waiting for things to get better. Take action! You've already largely determined your expectations will not be met. I think you have a better idea of this then I do, so I'm going to agree with you.

    Be patient though. It's wintertime. Do you want to move to Wisconsin in the middle of winter? Wait three months. Try to cut your expenses, keep applying for jobs, and keep dating guys. Maybe your life will change in so many wonderful ways that you will come back and read this post and think you sound idiotic.

    Or not .. and then you should move.
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    Jan 01, 2012 9:28 PM GMT
    Why would a young gay man move to Orlando, Florida to begin with? I've always thought that place was more of tourist trap city. Isn't all the fun and action happening in the southern/coastal cities?
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    Jan 02, 2012 5:40 AM GMT
    somnia saidThere is only one reason people move - because they are unhappy where they are. Were you unhappy in Wisconsin? You said you were actually happier.

    Three months is a very very short amount of time. You probably had exaggerated expectations about Orlando. It is impossible for the reality to live up to those expectations. You should reevaluate your expectations and make sure they are realistic.

    Everyone who works at a crappy job tells themselves that they will learn to love it or get that huge wage increase they deserve if they only stick it out for a couple more months. This scenario is unlikely to happen. Your job sucks now. Your job will still suck next year. That's ok. You are not your job, don't let work define your life.

    Keep going on dates. Keep meeting people. Try to learn something from each date. Eventually you will meet someone you like a lot. This doesn't have to happen in Orlando. You can date people anywhere.

    I think you should cut your losses and move back home. Whatever you do, don't continue to waste time waiting for things to get better. Take action! You've already largely determined your expectations will not be met. I think you have a better idea of this then I do, so I'm going to agree with you.

    Be patient though. It's wintertime. Do you want to move to Wisconsin in the middle of winter? Wait three months. Try to cut your expenses, keep applying for jobs, and keep dating guys. Maybe your life will change in so many wonderful ways that you will come back and read this post and think you sound idiotic.

    Or not .. and then you should move.


    Thank you so much for this!

    I guess you could say i was pretty unhappy in WI, since that was where I went to high school. we all know how that is... but i moved out to a resort town and worked for the summer, had the best 3 months of my life. This is definitely where my expectations for orlando came from.

    my job is definitely not changing in the next 5 months that i have the option to be here. Moving back to WI for the summer is the plan.

    i cant fathom moving back to WI in the dead of winter, i died a little bit on the inside just thinking about it... Maybe Tampa or some other city is where i belong? but I definitely need a change. again.

    xrichx saidWhy would a young gay man move to Orlando, Florida to begin with? I've always thought that place was more of tourist trap city. Isn't all the fun and action happening in the southern/coastal cities?


    I needed something new after i decided i wasnt going to college right away...i actually didnt know which city i was going to live in until i was driving down from WI and a family friend offered me a place to stay- in Orlando. next thing i new i found a seasonal job here at a themepark. just how the cards were dealt.

    I dont regret moving here. ive learned so much about myself and what i want out of life.

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    Jan 02, 2012 6:25 AM GMT
    I think you may need more patience. You are more happy when you share happiness and you are less in pain when you share it. I think you should talk to people who are in similar situation as yours.

    Also, there isn't any perfect place. Orlando is new, unknown and without a life you have spent and built for yourself in Wisconsin and you can't get it anything similar or better than that in just 3 months. I am not sure how practical is it to advice you this but it worked for me ( I moved to Canada from India to be more happy and i am also struggling to build a career) that always give a thought to the fact that you are putting a serious and genuine effort in building a better life for yourself which won't do anything better but may calm your heart and bring peace to your mind.