meninlove said A little history is in order. The guy that just dumped his well-over-a 3 year partner (rnch) had gone to great lengths to prove his love. Rushing rnch to hospital and weeping over him. Declarations of love et al.
When things went rocky rnch was here asking questions and trying to proceed cautiously, doubting what his guts were, I think, trying to tell him.
The guts turned out to be right.
thank you, MIL, for your reply and for "catching my back". we had been together for 3 years, 8 months, "late in life bloomers" who figured our true sexuality out at about the same time. given my short term doner DNA (my father's side of the family, whom i closely resemble, all died in their mid/late 60's...so i prolly have about 15 years left); i honestly thought that I had won the lottery of life with him, that the ex would be the one i one spend the rest of my life with.
i wonder if he's not on some type of mood leveling medication(s) the he has stopped taking!
96% of the time he was a sweet, kind, gentle, intelligent, loving, attentive man who showed me his love in verbal and non-verbal ways, cooking for me, buying me small gifts, the above mentioned two hospital trips, calling me a cab and bringing me home when i crashed from too much diabetic meds, a skillfull and attentive lover and quite caring in and out of the bedroom.
our own quirky, "abby normal" personalities seemed quite in tune with the others: he "got" my droll jokes that few people did and would often have the same thoughts as i did, laugh at the same things that i thought was funny that other people did not notice. more than once he or I would call/text the other just as the other's hand was on his phone, about to do the same thing. people that barely knew us would comment how much we appeared to like each other.
then he would turn into this selfish, arrogant, hurtful, hatefulll man who did what exactly what he wanted to do, regardless of the consequences, with no regard to whose feelings he hurt in the process of his own self-gratification; and then try to minimize his actions and make fun of me when i complained or called him out on it.
i can only shake my head at what has happened here.