How do "you" know your in love?

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    Jan 02, 2012 7:40 PM GMT
    I find it funny how everyone in my past that I was sure I loved was so different & loved them for different reasons.

    They usually all turned out to be in the closet lying cheating fuckers that were "straight acting" as they come....big jock muscle bound types...so I "knew" I was in love but they always made me feel inadequate, unworthy & devastated.

    My new guy has broken that mold. A muscle bear type, comfortable being gay, cant get enough of me & is totally into monogamy & proves it to me. I put up every wall I had & he broke right thru it cuz he says he knew I was the one.

    I love him in a way ive never loved another man before....for the first time love is kind, exciting, accepting, sexy & relaxing for me...no lying, no distrust & complete honesty & trust...hes a breath of fresh air.

    What are signs ur in love? And is it the same or does it depend on who ur in love with?
  • Lawrencium

    Posts: 63

    Jan 02, 2012 8:10 PM GMT
    For me, I know when I'm in love when things my guy does that drive me crazy (annoying habits, idiosyncracies, mannerisms) add to the reason I want to be with him. I start to love the things I previously disliked. That's love the lars way.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jan 02, 2012 9:24 PM GMT
    I always feel it my heart....Always followed that recipe...Never regretted it..
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 02, 2012 9:25 PM GMT
    I thought I knew was love was...but was proved wrong after 3 3/4 years.



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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2012 11:03 PM GMT
    How do I know? I find myself singing in the shower. He knows the One word that can make me laugh uncontrollably in a public room. He makes me so angry and happy all at once, always pushing me to become a better person. He likes the scars on my body. Most importantly, he makes me feel safe.
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    Jan 02, 2012 11:05 PM GMT


    When that one person makes you all happy inside! icon_biggrin.gif
    No matter what icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2012 11:43 PM GMT
    I know I'm in love when I unintentionally make references to the guy in almost every conversation. icon_redface.gif
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    Jan 02, 2012 11:53 PM GMT
    redbull saidMy new guy has broken that mold. A muscle bear type, comfortable being gay, cant get enough of me & is totally into monogamy & proves it to me. I put up every wall I had & he broke right thru it cuz he says he knew I was the one.

    I love him in a way ive never loved another man before....for the first time love is kind, exciting, accepting, sexy & relaxing for me...no lying, no distrust & complete honesty & trust...hes a breath of fresh air.

    Good for you that you found someone like that? And I'm going to watch for those signs if there ever is a next time. I especailly like your point about it being relaxing for you.

    My problem is I get "crazy" about the guy, but getting crazy is not true love. I've learned to trust my gut more. It hasn't failed me yet. When I'm stressing about it or just feel there's something wrong, usually there is.
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    Jan 02, 2012 11:56 PM GMT
    Never been in love, so, I couldn't tell you. I'm too neurotic to let myself "fall" or whatever that means. lol.
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    Jan 02, 2012 11:57 PM GMT
    when you feel actual physical pain when you are away from that someone as if something is trying to leave your body to be next to that special one. That's when you know you are in love
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    Jan 03, 2012 12:04 AM GMT


    Time to say goodbye. -- I'll go with you
    to countries I never
    saw and shared with you,
    now, yes, I shall experience them.
    I'll go with you
    on ships across seas
    which, I know,
    no, no, exist no longer;
    it's time to say goodbye. -- with you I shall experience them
    .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2012 12:42 AM GMT
    ZbmwM5 saidNever been in love, so, I couldn't tell you. I'm too neurotic to let myself "fall" or whatever that means. lol.
    I tend to view it as a leap of faith. You definitely know what you are getting yourself into.


    I'm a psych major I overthink every little thing. Be damned if I fall without first exploring what it means to " fall."

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  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Jan 03, 2012 12:44 AM GMT
    I don't know if I'd categorize it as love, love is something that takes time, but I know my attraction to a guy has weight when this happens: even though I'm sexually attracted to him, my fantasies about him are not sexual.
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    Jan 03, 2012 1:05 AM GMT
    This is so weird because I constantly ask this very same question to myself. Sometimes I think that I'm too apathetic to ever be in love. But, I've had this huge crush on this particular guy for a really long time. First, I told myself that 'infatuation is not the same thing as love'. Then I told myself that 'I cannot be in love with someone I don't really know too well'. Then I told myself that 'crushing on a straight guy cannot be healthy for me'. Slowly, but surely, I get to know more & more about him (as the years pass). Then, I found out that he's gay (was so happy that day). Then, I started noticing that he's periodically touches me. Then, I notice all the compliments he gives me about my looks (he thinks I'm good-looking; that should've been a red flag). Then, I also noticed that he keeps inviting me to various things (first, to join sports team with him; second, for coffee/drink; third, to his house). So, finally, I think there is a small possibility that he likes me. I'm over the moon right now.
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    Jan 03, 2012 2:41 AM GMT
    there's INFATUATION...then there is LOVE......you know when it's love because you would die to protect the man you love...and you think of him before yourself..making sure he has something to eat...even if you go hungry...and you can tolerate his disgusting habits...and still be turned on by him..and the feeling that if he died tommorrow...you would want to die too..just to be by his side....and you can clean up his vomit when he gets the "stomach bug"..that's been going around...then you're in love...
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    Jan 03, 2012 2:46 AM GMT
    eddie13 saidthere's INFATUATION...then there is LOVE......you know when it's love because you would die to protect the man you love...and you think of him before yourself..making sure he has something to eat...even if you go hungry...and you can tolerate his disgusting habits...and still be turned on by him..and the feeling that if he died tommorrow...you would want to die too..just to be by his side....and you can clean up his vomit when he gets the "stomach bug"..that's been going around...then you're in love...


    This!
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    Jan 03, 2012 2:47 AM GMT
    redbull saidI find it funny how everyone in my past that I was sure I loved was so different & loved them for different reasons.

    They usually all turned out to be in the closet lying cheating fuckers that were "straight acting" as they come....big jock muscle bound types...so I "knew" I was in love but they always made me feel inadequate, unworthy & devastated.

    My new guy has broken that mold. A muscle bear type, comfortable being gay, cant get enough of me & is totally into monogamy & proves it to me. I put up every wall I had & he broke right thru it cuz he says he knew I was the one.

    I love him in a way ive never loved another man before....for the first time love is kind, exciting, accepting, sexy & relaxing for me...no lying, no distrust & complete honesty & trust...hes a breath of fresh air.

    What are signs ur in love? And is it the same or does it depend on who ur in love with?


    You deserve it, big red. Especially after what that jw put you through (and I still want his address, so I can get the crew together to take turns ringing his doorbell).
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    Jan 03, 2012 2:56 AM GMT
    gemini_821 saidwhen you feel actual physical pain when you are away from that someone as if something is trying to leave your body to be next to that special one. That's when you know you are in love


    This is SO it!
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    Jan 03, 2012 3:00 AM GMT
    sweetyork saidThis is so weird because I constantly ask this very same question to myself. Sometimes I think that I'm too apathetic to ever be in love. But, I've had this huge crush on this particular guy for a really long time. First, I told myself that 'infatuation is not the same thing as love'. Then I told myself that 'I cannot be in love with someone I don't really know too well'. Then I told myself that 'crushing on a straight guy cannot be healthy for me'. Slowly, but surely, I get to know more & more about him (as the years pass). Then, I found out that he's gay (was so happy that day). Then, I started noticing that he's periodically touches me. Then, I notice all the compliments he gives me about my looks (he thinks I'm good-looking; that should've been a red flag). Then, I also noticed that he keeps inviting me to various things (first, to join sports team with him; second, for coffee/drink; third, to his house). So, finally, I think there is a small possibility that he likes me. I'm over the moon right now.



    I hope that small possibility turns onto a HUGE possibility soonicon_wink.gif.
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    Jan 03, 2012 3:05 AM GMT
    I've not been in love yet, so it's great to read these responses. There's a guy for whom I have insane feelings and I'd like to think the connection is real. I guess you'll always know when it's love, so the fact that I have doubt is probably because I was a psych major...and very analytical...but whatever. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 03, 2012 3:06 AM GMT
    closer85 saidI've not been in love yet, so it's great to read these responses. There's a guy for whom I have insane feelings and I'd like to think the connection is real. I guess you'll always know when it's love, so the fact that I have doubt is probably because I was a psych major...and very analytical...but whatever. icon_rolleyes.gif


    You should come hang out with cityaznguy and me on thursday icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 03, 2012 3:14 AM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said
    closer85 saidI've not been in love yet, so it's great to read these responses. There's a guy for whom I have insane feelings and I'd like to think the connection is real. I guess you'll always know when it's love, so the fact that I have doubt is probably because I was a psych major...and very analytical...but whatever. icon_rolleyes.gif


    You should come hang out with cityaznguy and me on thursday icon_smile.gif


    I'm going to watch a drag show actually with some friends. Where are you guys going to be???
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    Jan 03, 2012 3:14 AM GMT
    I think most people never really get the answer to this question they lose something they love. Love is an indescribable event, and for each person unique. Some people are so shuttered and numb that they are not capable of "love" as we define it. Hopefully you don't run into many of these people in your life, they are not generally very pleasant.

    I'm a highly rational person and even willing to break down psychological concepts into neuroscience and obliterate any sense of romanticism left in them. But for me, love is not something I can rationalize at all (and be right). I know I'm in love just by feeling, touching and being calmed by my boyfriend.

    I think many people are thrown off by the idea that somehow love can't change or is such a strong thing it must make everything bad go away. That's not really love to me. That's a idea of what we want love to be like. The reality is that we can be deeply in love with someone, and appreciate the time we have to ourselves. We can be deeply in love and separated and perhaps the hardest time to remember you're in love is when you start getting those feelings of dislike, and disdain for your partner. No one ever said that was part of love, but I think it is. I guess for me the key to love is longevity. Its something that will keep me fighting, and keep me interested in making the rational parts of my relationship work.
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    Jan 03, 2012 3:18 AM GMT
    adam228 saidI think most people never really get the answer to this question they lose something they love. Love is an indescribable event, and for each person unique. Some people are so shuttered and numb that they are not capable of "love" as we define it. Hopefully you don't run into many of these people in your life, they are not generally very pleasant.

    I'm a highly rational person and even willing to break down psychological concepts into neuroscience and obliterate any sense of romanticism left in them. But for me, love is not something I can rationalize at all (and be right). I know I'm in love just by feeling, touching and being calmed by my boyfriend.

    I think many people are thrown off by the idea that somehow love can't change or is such a strong thing it must make everything bad go away. That's not really love to me. That's a idea of what we want love to be like. The reality is that we can be deeply in love with someone, and appreciate the time we have to ourselves. We can be deeply in love and separated and perhaps the hardest time to remember you're in love is when you start getting those feelings of dislike, and disdain for your partner. No one ever said that was part of love, but I think it is. I guess for me the key to love is longevity. Its something that will keep me fighting, and keep me interested in making the rational parts of my relationship work.


    Quoting this because I love it. And that I'm sure this would be me if I was in love.

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    Jan 03, 2012 3:20 AM GMT
    "This ain't no thinkin' thing...right brain...left brain"...it's just physical..chemical emotion..feeling you just can't explain..................