But... I didnt do anything this time! ..Did I?!?

  • Brando

    Posts: 161

    Jan 03, 2012 10:18 AM GMT
    Heres the story... met a guy over this past summer and we kinda started dating. We never made it official though. After about a month he sorta got stuck in NC (Im in VA). It was a much better choice for him to stay there... his old family, friends, and a job.

    He told me he was sorry and that the only real reason for him to try to move back to VA was me.
    We continued "dating" for another two months. I even went down and stayed a week with him.

    Then I started not hearing from him for days at a time, and it made me look really clingy. REALLY CLINGY.
    so we ended it. And he wouldnt talk to me for over a month.icon_cry.gif

    However, just before halloween, we started talking again over facebook, and I found out him and his friends moved into a log cabin and i asked if i could come visit for another week just before thanksgiving. He was totally down.
    So I went, we celebrated his 21st and he told me how much he missed me, how he was really happy that I was there to celebrate with him, and even mentioned that I move to NC when I can. Just fefore I left he thanked me for how awesome i had treated him all week.

    Since then we were talking every two or three days.
    Made my mistake texting everyday... dont wanna be like that again.

    He kept telling me he was gonna try to make it up for my upcoming birthday.. on the 11th. Then even said its a very good possibility he will, since his momst bday is the 10th and she lives about halfway.

    This got me super excited.
    I love this kid. Nobodys ever made me feel like I do when Im around him. Grant it, I know "hes yound and he likes to act that way" ....and that hes not ready to act his age yet. (Hes mentioned both on facebook status's multiple times)
    Still, Id wait for him... yes, hed be worth it.

    We talked on christmas for a bit. Three days later, (Dec 28th) I wrote "15 days!" And never got a response.
    then the 30th, our conversation went as follows...
    me: hey guy..
    "Hey!"
    "Whatchu into?"
    "Nm. Just got off of work lol"
    "Sweet... Im still chillin on my bed"

    .....then NoTHING.
    nothing the rest of the day when i wrote him while I was bored at work.
    Nothing on New years when I tried calling AND wrote him.
    havent heard anything these past two days.
    Saw him online earlier just before bed and I asked if he was still trying to make it up here in 8 days, and he almost immediately signed off. Not even sure if he got the message or not.

    I know it may sound cheesy, but I miss him so much, just seeing his face would make my birthday (and my shitty xmas) completely worthwile.
    I also want to get him here so I can talk about to him about where we are relationship-wise so I can figure out how to play this game we're playing. I havent told him I want to have this conversation, but its kinda one of my goals to accomplish while hes here. (I want to have this talk in person and not over the phone or thru texting.)

    I dont want to keep writing him "are you coming?" Over and over and over. And at the same time, I want to know so I take off work if I need to, and so I can make some sort of plans on what Ill be doing.

    Advice anyone?
    Im not really looking for "Move on" or "Hes found someone else". There no doubt in my mind hes probably met other guys... I mean, lets face the facts, hes young, hes hot, and he lives in a different state.
    Ive met other guys too, but I cant take it anywhere.. Im absolutely HOOKED on this guy and would do anything for him.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 03, 2012 1:27 PM GMT
    I think it all has to do with maturity. I have dated a lot of college guys..(and I mean a lot) and the maturity level always keeps you guessing as to what's utmost on their mind. icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 03, 2012 1:32 PM GMT
    I understand how you're feeling, but the way I look at it - if he shows up on your birthday - fantastic, have a great time. If not, celebrate and have fun in spite of it - even if it's just to prove to yourself that you can and will move on.

    Let me ask this - do you really want the possibility of your birthday being associated with heart-break? I think there are better times to deal with that than a time that should be joyful.

    Just a thought.
  • Brando

    Posts: 161

    Jan 03, 2012 3:10 PM GMT
    Heartbreak? No. Disapointment? Yes. It would be like asking for only one small gift at christmas and out of all the gifts you recieved.. not one is what you really had your heart set on.

    I think him not talking when he has a problem is definitely one of his flaws. And Im just screwed because of the distance.
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    Jan 03, 2012 3:22 PM GMT
    Just going on what you've written, it appears that you're the only one making all the contact. Has he gone out of his way to make contact with you? It sounds like you're setting yourself up for disappointment on your birthday. You are worth more than that! Needy is never attractive.....
  • Brando

    Posts: 161

    Jan 04, 2012 9:17 PM GMT
    Well I finally got a response... He told me he has requested off for those days to come up and now just needs to get his money. But thats all I got from him.

    Im not gonna try to write him until he writes me for my address again.
    Im not setting myself up for disappointment... Im sort of expecting it, that way, if he does show, itll be much better than what I expect.
  • jboy84

    Posts: 556

    Jan 04, 2012 9:28 PM GMT
    You didn't do the double text did you?!
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    Jan 04, 2012 9:33 PM GMT
    Brando said
    Im not gonna try to write him until he writes me for my address again.
    Im not setting myself up for disappointment...


    1233928590_citizen%20kane%20clapping.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 04, 2012 9:38 PM GMT
    jboy84 saidYou didn't do the double text did you?!


    Brando said
    then the 30th, our conversation went as follows...
    me: hey guy..
    "Hey!"
    "Whatchu into?"
    "Nm. Just got off of work lol"
    "Sweet... Im still chillin on my bed"

    .....then NoTHING.
    nothing the rest of the day when i wrote him while I was bored at work.
    Nothing on New years when I tried calling AND wrote him.
    havent heard anything these past two days.
    Saw him online earlier just before bed and I asked if he was still trying to make it up here in 8 days, and he almost immediately signed off. Not even sure if he got the message or not.


    icon_confused.gif

    definitely wait for his response, and do not get your hopes up although with the time he requested off it seem apparent he would be showing up

    ENJOY your birthday nonetheless
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    Jan 04, 2012 9:42 PM GMT
    Bro, I am going through the exact same situation you're in right now. If they're not easily accessible to be reached through text, phone OR e-mail, it's time to move on. I put so much into trying to make a relationship with a guy work that by the end of it I felt completley drained and worthless. He rarely responded to my texts and I always had to be the one who initiated any type of conversation.

    If he doesn't put the effort in, why should you? I had an epiphany last night you could say, and it was the last straw - I deleted the dude from my phone and felt a sense of relief...as lame as it sounds, it was liberating. If a guy doesn't want me, why should I want him? You'll meet that guy eventually who will love you and you'll know deep down that he cares about you.

    I'm guessing you're infatuated with him at this point, cause you always want what you cant easily have. My best advice to you is to delete his number off your phone to stop any sort of temptation, and just see if he texts you - if he does, then you know he cares, and if not, then...clealry he's not the right guy. Good luck, man.
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    Jan 04, 2012 9:46 PM GMT
    This guy has control over you, only because you have given him the power.

    Even though you don't want to hear it, he's not that into you. If he was, he wouldn't play these hot-and-cold games with you, keep you yearning.
    He likes being chased and you are chasing.

    I would say drop it. Why are you still investing, when clearly this doesn't have a positive outcome for you? You have given him the reigns over your life. Time to take them back. They also say that when something is worth your while, you have to put effort in. So who knows. This is your life and sometimes you have to fall for yourself and stand up back again on your own.
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    Jan 04, 2012 9:56 PM GMT
    stop being such a weakling and man up, if he don't want you move on, there is plenty of hot guys out there, you don't deserve to torture yourself over some guy who prob don't care, enjoy you're birthday have fun, focus on the moment, not on the past and don't try to predict the future on how things will be, just focus on the moment and make you happy until you find a nice guy, whose not a douch. you are carrying a burden that you don't need to carry, you chain you re self up in a torture chamber, the door is open get outicon_smile.gif