A message from Waimea

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    Jan 03, 2012 6:42 PM GMT
    So guys, waimea sent me a message last night to say goodbye. He promptly deleted the account that he sent it from so that I would not be able to message him back.

    He asked me to apologize on his behalf for misrepresenting his appearance. He also wanted to apologize for all of the drama that he feels he created and thank all of the people who showed him kindness especially before he ever uploaded any photos.

    He was a bit more eloquent in his delivery and a lot more self depricating but that is the heart of what he said.

    *******************************************************************************************

    But I think it is unfair to put all of the blame on him. I'm not going to apologize for him to the extent that he asked me to because I just don't feel it's necessary.

    When he first came here he had no pictures but made quite a splash simply based on his personality. But because we are so obsessed with looks a lot of guys (myself included) demanded to see pictures of him.

    It is not hard to imagine the pressure that me must have felt and the the fear that if his picture did not match the weight of his personality, he might lose his popularity. Also, being in the closet made posting pictures a huge risk for him.

    Waimea has made a lot of stupid decisions since joining realjock, but a lot of us have had a hand in enabling and encouraging him to make those types of decisions.

    He has made multiple threads about feeling lonely or angry or confused and made it clear very early on that part of the reason that he joined this site was find a community that could help him work out some of those issues.

    His behavior has shown time and time again, that he clearly had a lot going on.

    I think we are all somewhat responsible for creating a culture that places such a premium on looks that someone would feel like he needed to do this just to be liked.

    As gays, we are constantly going to have to welcome new people into our world who are confused and battle-weary from the struggle to find or create and identity that they can live with and be secure in. Most of us didn't do that for waimea, even though we knew he needed it. I would actually venture to say I have personally failed waimea as a friend. Not sure what else I could have done to save him from all this, but I wish I had done it.

    So let's put the torches and pitchforks away, because this was not entirely his fault.

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    Jan 03, 2012 6:51 PM GMT
    A so you are saying we partially created this situation by demanding pictures of him?

    There I agree... i think its fine if you dont have pics myself.... anonymous ppl are still ppl
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    Jan 03, 2012 6:53 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN saidSo guys, waimea sent me a message last night to say goodbye. He promptly deleted the account that he sent it from so that I would not be able to message him back.

    He asked me to apologize on his behalf for misrepresenting his appearance. He also wanted to apologize for all of the drama that he feels he created and thank all of the people who showed him kindness especially before he ever uploaded any photos.

    He was a bit more eloquent in his delivery and a lot more self depricating but that is the heart of what he said.

    *******************************************************************************************

    But I think it is unfair to put all of the blame on him. I'm not going to apologize for him to the extent that he asked me to because I just don't feel it's necessary.

    When he first came here he had no pictures but made quite a splash simply based on his personality. But because we are so obsessed with looks a lot of guys (myself included) demanded to see pictures of him.

    It is not hard to imagine the pressure that me must have felt and the the fear that if his picture did not match the weight of his personality, he might lose his popularity. Also, being in the closet made posting pictures a huge risk for him.

    Waimea has made a lot of stupid decisions since joining realjock, but a lot of us have had a hand in enabling and encouraging him to make those types of decisions.

    He has made multiple threads about feeling lonely or angry or confused and made it clear very early on that part of the reason that he joined this site was find a community that could help him work out some of those issues.

    His behavior has shown time and time again, that he clearly had a lot going on.

    I think we are all somewhat responsible for creating a culture that places such a premium on looks that someone would feel like he needed to do this just to be liked.

    As gays, we are constantly going to have to welcome new people into our world who are confused and battle-weary from the struggle to find or create and identity that they can live with and be secure in. Most of us didn't do that for waimea, even though we knew he needed it.

    So let's put the torches and pitchforks away, because this was not entirely his fault.



    I am going to disagree with you.... it was entirely his fault. He knowingly did it.... nobody put a gun to his head....

    However....

    From what you and others have conveyed on his behalf, he has shown true remourse and regrets what he did and learned from it, so he is entitled to some forgiveness and understanding and THAT I can completely agree with. I would say that he has taken it seriously and that he has learned a valuable lesson for himself, that may be helpful to others as well. I for one would be willing to give him another chance since he has accepted responsibiity of this incident like a man and shown his true strength of character.
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    Jan 03, 2012 6:58 PM GMT
    While I don't condone with what he did, I do agree that there is so much emphasis on appearance. Not only in the gay community but in society. Its even worse on the computer though. You have people who don't respond or don't like you because your eyes aren't blue,brown,or grey. You have people who don't respond or like you because you aren't Asian, Latino, white, or black. There's just so much emphasis on image. I admit I have been focused on image from time to time. I think we all should be less focused on image, and be more worried about the person.
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    Jan 03, 2012 6:59 PM GMT
    a fake is a fake. it doesn't matter how real his personality was, he misrepresented himself and it is ALL his fault. i don't know the guy and i'm glad he's gone. one less poser on this site.
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    Jan 03, 2012 6:59 PM GMT
    I also stand by the notion that it was completely his fault. But then again, I was far from enamored with him unlike some people icon_rolleyes.gif I think remaining anonymous and picture-less would've been the better way to go for him if he wasn't comfortable revealing so much about himself. Too bad he handled it poorly, but live and learn. No sympathy from me because I've seen too many similar things on various message boards over the years.

    I don't hold grudges, so if he were to return with a sense of authenticity and quit the games, then I'd see no problem with his return. But I won't hold my breath at this point.

    If he does have things going on in his life, I hope he'll consider reaching out to a friend, relative, or counselor to discuss these things rather play stupid games on an online forum. Nothing quite compares to face-to-face interaction. Even though people might not always have the answers to your problems, sometimes it's just nice to talk to someone in relief and you already feel better.
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:01 PM GMT
    I've never even talked to the guy but I read endless posts from him and so I'll say this: True strength of character would be coming back online, coming clean, apologizing himself instead of through a buddy, and seeing if he can still be a participant AS HIMSELF in something he clearly enjoyed. Until he does this, he gets no sympathy from me, he's just a poser who made a mistake but ran and hid instead of owning up to it.

    I couldn't care less if he has a pic of himself or not.

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    Jan 03, 2012 7:02 PM GMT
    You think everyone else is to blame for someone being a closet case? LOL
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:03 PM GMT
    fuck that guy, and you to.... you whinmea, and that shinra shit are so fucking annoying with you're bullshit, go shove up you're asses
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:04 PM GMT
    Yawnnnnn
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:06 PM GMT
    JustThisOnce saidNana nana nana na na hey hey hey goodbye

    Seriously he was so mean I did not like him
    Lol. I missed the whole drama, wish I hadn't.

    Seriously? Fake profile and fake photos and now he is apologizing via emails through other people's profiles with no pics? Am I the only one seeing a pattern here?

    Jeezus, it's like a Hilary Duff movie in here.
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:06 PM GMT
    pocketnico saidI also stand by the notion that it was completely his fault. But then again, I was far from enamored with him unlike some people icon_rolleyes.gif I think remaining anonymous and picture-less would've been the better way to go for him if he wasn't comfortable revealing so much about himself. Too bad he handled it poorly, but live and learn. No sympathy from me because I've seen too many similar things on numerous message boards over the years.

    I don't hold grudges, so if he were to return with a sense of authenticity and quit the games, then I'd see no problem with that.


    Is it entirely his fault. He went from being defined by his personality to being defined by his appearance. He didn't do that to himself, we did that to him.

    He clearly was in turmoil about it.

    I was one of the last people he unlocked for even after asking him over and over again. I thought it was a sign that he didn't really care about me but now I realize he just was trying to avoid lying to me especially. I think he just wanted to take some of the pressure off of himself but became addicted to the way people treated him because of the pictures. He never would have gotten away with .01% of the stunts he pulled if not for all those pictures. So while what he did wast wrong, he was surrounded by enablers who allowed him to slip into the weakest parts of his personality.
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:07 PM GMT
    JustThisOnce saidYea also he was only nice to the gusy that were popular/hot. He was very rude to those that were not. That is also something to consider



    Yep... more evidence of weakness of character, and zero attempt to correct it.
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:07 PM GMT
    archon saidfuck that guy, and you to.... you whinmea, and that shinra shit are so fucking annoying with you're bullshit, go shove up you're asses
    icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:08 PM GMT
    sdgman said
    JustThisOnce saidNana nana nana na na hey hey hey goodbye

    Seriously he was so mean I did not like him
    Lol. I missed the whole drama, wish I hadn't.

    But seriously? Fake profile and fake photos and no he is apologizing via emails through profiles with no pics. Am I the only one seeing a pattern here?

    Jessie, it's like a Hilary Duff movie in here.



    it's funny when people with 308 posts try to piece things together. That was adorable.
  • CuriousJockAZ

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    Jan 03, 2012 7:09 PM GMT
    I have no idea who this Waimea person is, but reading this thread doesn't paint a very pretty picture of him
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:09 PM GMT
    He understands the sell of silk
    'Cus cash comes quick when looks can kill.
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:10 PM GMT
    hahaha. yes!icon_twisted.gif

    archon said
    archon saidfuck that guy, and you to.... you whinmea, and that shinra shit are so fucking annoying with you're bullshit, go shove up you're asses
    icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:11 PM GMT
    JustThisOnce saidYea also he was only nice to the gusy that were popular/hot. He was very rude to those that were not. That is also something to consider


    Not true. He was nice to me.
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:12 PM GMT
    sdgman said
    JustThisOnce saidNana nana nana na na hey hey hey goodbye

    Seriously he was so mean I did not like him
    Lol. I missed the whole drama, wish I hadn't.

    But seriously? Fake profile and fake photos and no he is apologizing via emails through profiles with no pics. Am I the only one seeing a pattern here?

    Jessie, it's like a Hilary Duff movie in here.


    A Hilary duff movie lol
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Jan 03, 2012 7:13 PM GMT
    JustThisOnce saidNana nana nana na na hey hey hey goodbye

    Seriously he was so mean I did not like him



    and what exactly was your history with him in the roughly 2 weeks you've been here at RJ? Me thinks something VERY suspicious is going on here icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:13 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said
    JustThisOnce saidYea also he was only nice to the gusy that were popular/hot. He was very rude to those that were not. That is also something to consider


    Not true. He was nice to me.


    This says something about your character. I don't care how nice a person is to me, if I see him being a douchebag to other people, I let him know he's a douchebag. If he keeps it up, he can go fuck himself and I won't defend him.
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:14 PM GMT
    Am I the only one who doesn't give a flying fuck about this? I don't know about you all, but I have enough drama to worry about in my life, and when I come on this site, I don't come to deal with more of it. /rant
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:15 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said
    pocketnico saidI also stand by the notion that it was completely his fault. But then again, I was far from enamored with him unlike some people icon_rolleyes.gif I think remaining anonymous and picture-less would've been the better way to go for him if he wasn't comfortable revealing so much about himself. Too bad he handled it poorly, but live and learn. No sympathy from me because I've seen too many similar things on numerous message boards over the years.

    I don't hold grudges, so if he were to return with a sense of authenticity and quit the games, then I'd see no problem with that.


    Is it entirely his fault. He went from being defined by his personality to being defined by his appearance. He didn't do that to himself, we did that to him.

    He clearly was in turmoil about it.

    I was one of the last people he unlocked for even after asking him over and over again. I thought it was a sign that he didn't really care about me but now I realize he just was trying to avoid lying to me especially. I think he just wanted to take some of the pressure off of himself but became addicted to the way people treated him because of the pictures. He never would have gotten away with .01% of the stunts he pulled if not for all those pictures. So while what he did wast wrong, he was surrounded by enablers who allowed him to slip into the weakest parts of his personality.



    Can't deny that sometimes peer pressure gets the best of us. If it's not in an online message board, it's in many other situations in life. It's unfortunate that he felt compelled to appeal to others by showing pics (fake pics on top of that). If only he had been strong enough not to succumb to such pressure.
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    Jan 03, 2012 7:16 PM GMT
    williamlbrown said
    sdgman said
    JustThisOnce saidNana nana nana na na hey hey hey goodbye

    Seriously he was so mean I did not like him
    Lol. I missed the whole drama, wish I hadn't.

    But seriously? Fake profile and fake photos and no he is apologizing via emails through profiles with no pics. Am I the only one seeing a pattern here?

    Jessie, it's like a Hilary Duff movie in here.


    A Hilary duff movie lol


    I had to fix the "autocorrects" that basically made my post gibberish... But my main point got through lol