Friendship between gay people

  • Stin7

    Posts: 33

    Jan 03, 2012 10:38 PM GMT
    I definitely think it's impossible to be friends with other gay people as I think it's impossible for a straight woman and a straight man to be friends... I'm being drastic with this opinion, but tbh, at some point any of them can start having feelings for the other.

    I feel really bad cause I wanted to be friends with this guy I met a week and a half ago.. he is sooo cool, I don't like him as a boyfriend, I just think he is amazing and all and in new years he asked for a date, and I was very surprised I didn't know how to react... I don't want to lose him as a friend, he seems like a great person... but I don't want hurt him either...

    I told him I'm sorry that I don't have feelings for him.. that he is such a great person, and he said he wanted "time off" or something like that... just a few days to "recover" from this... he wasn't mean at all... but he seemed hurt.

    I think I'm responsible too, cause we went out once to starbucks alone, we talked a lot... but I've never said or made anything to make him see I was with him or anything...

    :
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    Jan 04, 2012 12:16 AM GMT
    My experience has actually been the opposite. My best friend I had a huge crush on when we first met (and from what others tell me the sexual tension in both directions between us was pretty thick for a while), but he has a boyfriend (long distance notwithstanding) and I'm not the kind of person to violate that relationship. So that attraction mellowed a lot and now he's just my best friend.

    I've had that happen with a couple friends, actually: start out as attracted to each other, maybe even hook up a couple times, but then it just becomes "friends only" after a while. To the point where I'm not even really attracted to them anymore.
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    Jan 04, 2012 1:14 AM GMT
    Yeah, I have a gay best friend. And I did have a crush on him in the beginning, but it's totally gone now. I think everyone needs a gay best friend! It adds so much to my life.
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    Jan 04, 2012 1:21 AM GMT
    The common saying, "Can't we just be friends?" seems like a slap in face to the other person. Unfortunately, I never get a response back from anyone after making this suggestionicon_sad.gif
  • BlueKoolAid

    Posts: 112

    Jan 04, 2012 1:48 AM GMT
    yeah i had a similar situation. Let him take his time off, if he really values your friendship he'll come back, if not then move on.
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    Jan 04, 2012 1:51 AM GMT
    I have many gay friends who I have never liked or hooked up with. It can be done.
  • mav29x

    Posts: 12

    Jan 04, 2012 2:12 AM GMT
    I'm bi so not sure which side to argue for.... I have a couple gay guy friends and we have no feelings for each other. I have straight girl friends and we have no feelings for each other. One bi girl friend.. same deal. I don't have any bi guy friends though... at least not that I know of.
  • Trepeat

    Posts: 546

    Jan 04, 2012 7:10 AM GMT
    Scientists have proven that platonic friendships between guys can last no longer than two weeks without dickto anus contact. There are essays on it and everything.

    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 04, 2012 7:16 AM GMT
    I don't have this problem. I have no trouble being friends with someone regardless of their sexual orientation. I don't mix friendship with sex. Just that simple. I certainly don't let my dick get the best of me. If I like someone and happen to know they don't like me then that's just the way it is unfortunately. Life goes on. I don't hold it against them. I simply value the fact that they wanna be friends and I'm satisfied with that.
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    Jan 04, 2012 7:25 AM GMT
    princeofnash saidI have many gay friends who I have never liked or hooked up with. It can be done.


    well, if you dont like them,,,,why are you still friends....LOLOL
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    Jan 04, 2012 7:30 AM GMT
    It might depend on the context of how you guys come together as well. I met one of my best gay friends on the sidelines of the rugby pitch. We had just met that morning I was already impressed on his intensity on the field. He threw out a random quote from "Saving Silverman," one of my favorite movies, and I gave it right back. We were besties every since.

    There was no sexual tension between us for some reason. We can complete each others thoughts and have the same sense of humor, like best friends should, but it will always be more brotherly than anything sexual. Not too long after after he met his boyfriend, the love of his life, I would say. And I enjoy hanging out with both of them.
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    Jan 04, 2012 7:32 AM GMT
    hairyandym said
    princeofnash saidI have many gay friends who I have never liked or hooked up with. It can be done.


    well, if you dont like them,,,,why are you still friends....LOLOL


    Frenemies!!

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    Jan 04, 2012 4:40 PM GMT
    hairyandym said
    princeofnash saidI have many gay friends who I have never liked or hooked up with. It can be done.


    well, if you dont like them,,,,why are you still friends....LOLOL


    Silly boy ;)
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    Jan 04, 2012 4:43 PM GMT
    princeofnash said
    hairyandym said
    princeofnash saidI have many gay friends who I have never liked or hooked up with. It can be done.


    well, if you dont like them,,,,why are you still friends....LOLOL


    Silly boy ;)


    Here, I'll help:

    "I have many gay friends who I have never liked that way, or hooked up with. It can be done."

    Better? icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 04, 2012 4:44 PM GMT
    Stin7,

    "I definitely think it's impossible to be friends with other gay people as I think it's impossible for a straight woman and a straight man to be friends..."


    You need to get to know more straight people.


  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 04, 2012 4:46 PM GMT
    I certainly don't have any issues, sorry that you seem to......
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    Jan 04, 2012 4:49 PM GMT
    I don't see why it's so hard for some folks. It's really easy to be friends with someone even if you do have a sexual attraction towards them.
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    Jan 04, 2012 4:51 PM GMT


    "I told him I'm sorry that I don't have feelings for him.. that he is such a great person, and he said he wanted "time off" or something like that... just a few days to "recover" from this... he wasn't mean at all... but he seemed hurt.

    I think I'm responsible too, cause we went out once to starbucks alone, we talked a lot... but I've never said or made anything to make him see I was with him or anything... "

    No, you're not responsible for him feeling the way he does.

    Perhaps saying you like him very much and love his company but completely un-romantically would have worked better.

    Try and keep in mind that for you it was friendship, but for him it may never have been that way, that for him the intent was always romance right from the get-go. In this case he'll need time to get over his desire and consider whether he can put those feelings aside and be friends-only.

    No one is to blame. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug

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    Jan 04, 2012 4:52 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    meninlove said
    princeofnash said
    hairyandym said
    princeofnash saidI have many gay friends who I have never liked or hooked up with. It can be done.


    well, if you dont like them,,,,why are you still friends....LOLOL


    Silly boy ;)


    Here, I'll help:

    "I have many gay friends who I have never liked that way, or hooked up with. It can be done."

    Better? icon_wink.gif
    ^^^^Prime example of two of my best gay friends.



    icon_redface.gificon_redface.gif
  • Scorpio1113

    Posts: 90

    Jan 04, 2012 8:16 PM GMT
    I have one gay best friend who I used to like very much. He was in the closet, but it was pretty obvious he was gay. Then he came out, got in good shape, and stared being...well gay. My feelings for him vanished the more I got to know him though. We're a lot alike, but have different relationship values - and ultimately I prefer that we just stay friends icon_smile.gif

    Though there might be some sexual tension, especially when we're around each other drunk...I wouldn't mind a little making out - as it really wouldn't mean much to me to be honest lol.
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    Jan 04, 2012 8:18 PM GMT
    huhwhat saidYeah, I have a gay best friend. And I did have a crush on him in the beginning, but it's totally gone now. I think everyone needs a gay best friend! It adds so much to my life.



    completely agree.
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    Jan 04, 2012 8:25 PM GMT
    Having feeling for a person is natural and its there among all friends. There is nothing wrong with this and also does not mean you are going to act upon it.

    I have gay friends and have feeling for them and I'm slightly attracted to them but not to the point where I want to date or fuck them.

    Also put a photo up already OP
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    Jan 04, 2012 8:31 PM GMT
    I have discovered the hard way that you can't go by someone's stated orientation to rule out the possibility that they will want some.

    That said, you met a week and a half ago and he "needs time off to recover?" You must be all that and then some. Hard to tell with no photo!
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    Jan 04, 2012 8:58 PM GMT
    uhh, I hope to make a lot more gay friends like this.....Makes me feel like I got people just like me, who have my back.
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Jan 04, 2012 9:05 PM GMT
    I find it matters how I meet a guy in order to develop a friendship. Guys I met at school or through friends or in volunteer work I find it really easy to become friends with. But I've only ever had one friend that I met online that was only just friendship. I guess I met my friends Mark and Shawn at the little hole in the wall gay bar that we used to all live in walking distance of, but we were introduced by mutual friends. You need gay friends so you can go to the beach and checkout guys with them LOL