I really need some insight to this

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    Jan 04, 2012 11:18 PM GMT
    Ok, long story short, I joined an lgbt society at my university last year. I met this man who was the most charismatic, amazing person I have ever met. Then I quickly realised that he was a sadistic psychopath who proceeded to use and abuse me until I had a nervous breakdown. This guy was an evil creative and the torture went on for a long time. He was ex chairman, very popular, and manipulated the society to his advantage. He even stole my next boyfriend, this is what I need insight on, he texted me "I didn't pull david(bf) to spite you. I did it because I can". My boyfriend said, "ok I'm sorry I hurt you, but I am not going to let that stop me from doing what I want to do" my question involved human nature and it's cruel side, do you need to be cruel to be happy? People do things because they can? What does that mean?
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    Jan 04, 2012 11:27 PM GMT
    Speaking as someone who has dealt with this personality type in depth back in the day, I can tell you that your best course of action is to disengage. Do not give him your attention. Do not respond to anything, even when he baits you. You are his amusement, and when you cease to be amusing, he will move on to others who will give him the reaction he craves.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jan 05, 2012 1:50 AM GMT
    It means you have the gift of being a writer, and that's your medium of revenge. Write a tell-all book and sell it to the tabloids. You'd be surprised how few people can put a sentence together. Exploit your talent!
  • ineedausernam...

    Posts: 118

    Jan 05, 2012 2:48 AM GMT
    People who are cruel are almost never genuinely happy. Scratch that, they are most definitely never genuinely happy. Hurt people hurt people.
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    Jan 05, 2012 3:01 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidIt means you have the gift of being a writer, and that's your medium of revenge. Write a tell-all book and sell it to the tabloids. You'd be surprised how few people can put a sentence together. Exploit your talent!


    Yes, OP, you do have an amazingly vivid way with words. You conveyed in a few compact sentences the conflama that others have agonizingly taken pages to tell us. Go and be happy. Write stories and please share some of them here.

    BTW, purge the sociopath from your life.
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    Jan 05, 2012 3:06 AM GMT
    darren222 saidOk, long story short, I joined an lgbt society at my university last year. I met this man who was the most charismatic, amazing person I have ever met. Then I quickly realised that he was a sadistic psychopath who proceeded to use and abuse me until I had a nervous breakdown. This guy was an evil creative and the torture went on for a long time. He was ex chairman, very popular, and manipulated the society to his advantage. He even stole my next boyfriend, this is what I need insight on, he texted me "I didn't pull david(bf) to spite you. I did it because I can". My boyfriend said, "ok I'm sorry I hurt you, but I am not going to let that stop me from doing what I want to do" my question involved human nature and it's cruel side, do you need to be cruel to be happy? People do things because they can? What does that mean?


    Well, personally your problem raises 3 red flags. First off was the man you met in this lgbt society, because you found out that he just wants to use people to help further his agenda.

    Then he steals your next boyfriend. Red flag #2.

    And finally, your boyfriend says that he's gonna do what he's gonna do period. Red flag #3.

    And the answers to the questions at the bottom of your post. Answer to question1: Do you need to be cruel to be happy? No, in a matter of fact, this man is very unhappy with his life. He's one of those people who wears a mask. Sure, he looks great, charismatic, and can talk the talk, but he's one of those people who ignores his internal issues, therefore bringing out inner conflict. If anything, he needs help, but since he's going to be the stubborn person he's gonna be, he won't seek it. So, sucks to be him.

    Answer to question 2: People do things because they can? Wrong. This is a piss-poor, if anything, horrible excuse. It shouldn't even be called an excuse...it's assholery to a whole new level. This guy is playing with your head. Get him out of your head and move on, it's obvious this guy doesn't have a caring bone in his body.

    Answer to question 3: It means that you got caught up in a mess that you can't control, and unfortunately that's how it goes sometimes. I can't tell you how many times I was caught up in a mess. I used to be one of those people who used people to my advantage, only to find out that well, the world just simply doesn't revolve around me.

    This is one of the BIG reasons why I don't get involved in relationships (be they romantic or friendly). I go by a saying, as sad as it sounds, to "trust no one." Yes, I understand, life is about taking risks and doing the impossible, but my past is so fraught with error that I just can't take risks...at least not right now. Maybe later on I will, but for right now, I steer clear of people. I don't get involved in their business, and therefore, I don't want them to get involved in mine. I have enough things to worry about already then to have stupid drama go on between someone. I can watch that shit on t.v., I certainly don't need it now, and I won't need it later. Always be on your guard, because you never know when someone's gonna use you.
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    Jan 05, 2012 3:09 AM GMT
    Oy I'm really sorry to hear about your story. The bottom line is that people are manipulative because they can. Most people who are really charming are manipulative and shrewd "users" in life, not because they are evil per se, but the fact that they are very selfish. They will do whatever it takes to obtain their goal for personal gain, and they do not care who they hurt, even if it's the people who they love. The only way to deal with people like that is to identify those traits, and avoid them at all costs, and minimizing your interactions with them.
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    Jan 05, 2012 3:10 AM GMT
    darren222 saidOk, long story short, I joined an lgbt society at my university last year. I met this man who was the most charismatic, amazing person I have ever met. Then I quickly realised that he was a sadistic psychopath who proceeded to use and abuse me until I had a nervous breakdown. This guy was an evil creative and the torture went on for a long time. He was ex chairman, very popular, and manipulated the society to his advantage. He even stole my next boyfriend, this is what I need insight on, he texted me "I didn't pull david(bf) to spite you. I did it because I can". My boyfriend said, "ok I'm sorry I hurt you, but I am not going to let that stop me from doing what I want to do" my question involved human nature and it's cruel side, do you need to be cruel to be happy? People do things because they can? What does that mean?


    icon_sad.gif you don't what to know the answer.
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Jan 05, 2012 7:37 AM GMT
    I feel like any specifics at all about this guy would really influence the advice that I'd give you. What sort of LGBT society? Are you talking about a school club, and political group, a support group...ect How does he "use it to his advantage"? If you're at university and this is school politics stuff just realize that most of it is all pretty meaningless and the people that run clubs and activities do it because they are ambitious people looking to pad a resume....and I say this as a former LGBT club president, 3 time class representative, student government executive chairman and news paper manager.


    What really concerns me is that you'd want to date somebody like David who apparently is OK with not only cheating on you, but cheating on you with somebody I'm guessing he is well aware that you're not very fond of. A few years from now all of this might seem silly except the cheating boyfriend cause that hurts at any age, what matters most is that you stay true to your principles because when you look back at your past the stuff people did do you isn't going to seem as bad as the stuff you did to others for revenge.
  • tautomer

    Posts: 1010

    Jan 05, 2012 7:40 AM GMT
    EliStark saidSpeaking as someone who has dealt with this personality type in depth back in the day, I can tell you that your best course of action is to disengage. Do not give him your attention. Do not respond to anything, even when he baits you. You are his amusement, and when you cease to be amusing, he will move on to others who will give him the reaction he craves.


    This to the letter!!!
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Jan 05, 2012 7:41 AM GMT
    Troll?
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    Jan 05, 2012 7:42 AM GMT
    I can't wait for Chapter 2!

    brenda.gif
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    Jan 05, 2012 12:57 PM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidIt means you have the gift of being a writer, and that's your medium of revenge. Write a tell-all book and sell it to the tabloids. You'd be surprised how few people can put a sentence together. Exploit your talent!


    Mommie dearest?! hehehehe I hope you're making fun of my dramatisation.
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    Jan 05, 2012 1:09 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    GAMRican said
    barriehomeboy saidIt means you have the gift of being a writer, and that's your medium of revenge. Write a tell-all book and sell it to the tabloids. You'd be surprised how few people can put a sentence together. Exploit your talent!


    Yes, OP, you do have an amazingly vivid way with words. You conveyed in a few compact sentences the conflama that others have agonizingly taken pages to tell us. Go and be happy. Write stories and please share some of them here.

    BTW, purge the sociopath from your life.
    Oh my god. I wasn't the only one who noticed!


    hahahaha Am I really that good a writer?!

    To be perfectly honest my year with that university LGBT society was probably the most disturbing year of my life. I couldn't have a more negative view of the gay community now. My boyfriend whom that sadistic ex lover of mine stole was a christian, and after a few months he was trying to convince me that it was all my fault too, and that he didn't mean to hurt me, and all he would do was talk about him in front of me, while I stood there, knowing that he was merely at stage one of getting to know him.

    He was the former chairman for fuck sake, and you know what? I don't blame him for his actions, my current chairman did nothing while he used every new member and tossed them aside after he had his fun. My chairman said "we both know what kind of person he is, but if I were to take a side it could lead to a break up of the society" while he knew I was in counselling and having mental problems due to the months of abuse. he had followers and everything.

  • Jan 05, 2012 1:38 PM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidIt means you have the gift of being a writer, and that's your medium of revenge. Write a tell-all book and sell it to the tabloids. You'd be surprised how few people can put a sentence together. Exploit your talent!



    +1
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    Jan 05, 2012 2:15 PM GMT
    Suetonius saidTroll?
    DEFINITELY Without question.
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    Jan 05, 2012 2:18 PM GMT
    My arguement however is that sometimes cruelty isn't intentional. My example is my boyfriend, he just wanted to be happy, I wasn't any fun for him and that bastard was, and if me getting hurt in order for him to have a shot at happiness, so be it. its the same in school or life in general, the depressive people are usually the ones treated coldly and laughed at, maybe you need to be cruel to be kind to yourself for your own happiness.
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    Jan 05, 2012 2:24 PM GMT
    Grab. Twist. Pull.
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    Jan 05, 2012 2:29 PM GMT
    ineedausername saidPeople who are cruel are almost never genuinely happy. Scratch that, they are most definitely never genuinely happy. Hurt people hurt people.



    I was just going to write that until I saw your post. I've never seen a mean-spirited person genuinely smile. Some people call it karma. I just know you can't be a conduit for negative things such as cruelty and expect to be full of positive things such as joy.
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    Jan 05, 2012 2:35 PM GMT
    woah, sounds like an asshole to me. some people are just asses I guess.
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    Jan 05, 2012 2:43 PM GMT

    The man you admired is a jerk, and so is the boyfriend. The man can't steal your boyfriend. Your boyfriend does that all by himself, being a grown-up.


    Btw, what DID you mean by 'my next boyfriend'? If he isn't your boyfriend yet, then he's a free agent, no? icon_wink.gif

    intrigued,

    -Doug
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    Jan 05, 2012 2:58 PM GMT
    some people are just narcissistic assholes
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    Jan 05, 2012 3:13 PM GMT
    If I were you, I'd remove myself from that community that you've joined. Seriously all I can smell is corruption and both your ex should be disposed of.
    Humans have very deep seated darkness that can manifest and take over.
    Assholes like him have learned the art to bullshit and manipulate...You need to learn to circumvent that and use it to your advantage.
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    Jan 05, 2012 6:01 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    The man you admired is a jerk, and so is the boyfriend. The man can't steal your boyfriend. Your boyfriend does that all by himself, being a grown-up.


    Btw, what DID you mean by 'my next boyfriend'? If he isn't your boyfriend yet, then he's a free agent, no? icon_wink.gif

    intrigued,

    -Doug


    My next boyfriend in my life, the former wasn't my boyfriend, but he was my lover, the biggest mistake of my life.
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    Jan 05, 2012 11:23 PM GMT
    I've heard the term "because I can" used quite a few other times in my life, all by evil characters on television, noticably the character heather duke in the movie "Heathers" when the character winona ryder asks her why she is such a megabitch. "I'm doing it because I can" still to this day what does that mean? Am I acting irrational saying this guy was a sociopath?!