Girls are like worms on apples. The best ones make a teeny tiny puncture on the apple's skin. Most people won't even notice the hole because they are too busy texting to notice what they put inside their shopping carts. So they take the apple and the worm home with them for breakfast the next day.
So the person sets the breakfast table with the apples and the leftover pizza, not noticing the slight vibration on the table as he sets down the reddest of all apples. Now we just have to wait on which greedy-breakfast-eating person is gonna grab that one and take a bite.
Boy! Are they in for a surprise! Makes you glad you're gay, dunnit? So the next time Eve offers ya apples, choke the serpent instead.