Neat forum! Ok, so first thing's first...

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    Jan 05, 2012 11:08 PM GMT
    Ok, so I am gonna be utilizing this thread to stop Pornography and Masturbation. These things definitely don't make me feel better, and I should definitely become a better person (my past is really ugly). I've already started praying a rosary everyday, a novena for the unborn, and a novena for employment. If anyone wants to join, you are more than welcome to join.

    So far, I've done neither today. But...I'll let you know before I go to bed.
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    Jan 06, 2012 6:18 AM GMT
    Today=Success!

    Tomorrow will be even better. I just know it! icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 06, 2012 9:32 AM GMT
    I'm assuming that you are of the Catholic persuasion.


    In my adolesence, I struggled with masturbation and pornography as well. My church even had a retreat and took all the young men, and basically told us to not touch ourselves and to try not to think of women sexually until marriage.

    This is ridiculous and maybe why you hear of priests molesting young boys. A vow of celibacy isn't normal and that sexual frustration will be manifested in some form...it just has to get out.

    As for masturbation, although you may think it sinful...according to the most religion, homosexuality is wrong, yet you're on this site, so at least you're not in denial or self-hating.

    But in all honesty, I tried the masturbation thing and my father even got me a book where it said you would have wet dreams and that's how you would get a release. Absolute nonsense. Wet dreams don't happen often for most men, and you can't command them to happen and the pent-up sexual frustration isn't good. You start to be turned on by things that don't even turn you on all because your body needs a release and you start feeling dirtier, loathing yourself and feeling bad for denying your body a normals sexual release. You become irritable and just want the thudding "pain" down there to go away.

    If you have a low sex drive, perhaps see a doctor about testosterone hormones, but if you feel dirty...don't. I'm sure every religious person on the planet would rather you jerk off than impregnate a woman or have sex with a man.

    As for pornography, that might be something you want to cut back on, as if you ever decide to have sexual relations, it may be hard to actually get aroused because your mindset is so used to porn. The way I dealt with it, was realizing I LIVED in my room, had no social interactions and fantasized about guys who were getting a pay sex to be the farthest thing from passionate love when I could be getting it on with a real guy if I put myself out there. I'm still a virgin, but on my way to meeting guys and if one comes along who can see more in me than sex and sticks around despite a lack of sex in the first few months, I'll start to open up in that manner. I don't have the answers, but finding them for myself.

    I did read your profile about not wanting to get involved with a guy romantically. Whether it was child abuse or a traumatic experience, or you're asexual leaning towards gay, I hope you work out whatever it is internally and don't beat up yourself over the past. Not saying you'll find love with another man or at all in this life, but cutting yourself off from even the idea of it is drastic. It may happen, you NEVER know, but try to be open to it. I realize you're trying to improve yourself physically, but emotionally could be beneficial as well. A therapist or someone to talk to might help icon_smile.gif I wish you the best in finding the best you, but please...MASTURBATE. There are worse things in this world.
  • Delivis

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    Jan 06, 2012 3:05 PM GMT
    There are real problems in the world that you could spend your time helping to fix. And neither pornography nor masterbation count.
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    Jan 06, 2012 3:07 PM GMT
    So today on my journey to persevere in Christ, I went to mass.

    As usual, I went to confession, confessing the usual, I looked at porn, I committed adultery in my heart, I masturbated, I lied to both my father and my mother, etc...right?

    So anyways, as soon as I come out of confession, I'm telling ya, God works in the most mysterious of ways. As soon as I came out, (my penance was to say a decade of the rosary for a fallen away Catholic), but as soon as I came out of the Confessional, one of two things always seem to happen. Either a.) I learn something new about life in general, or b.) I become overwhelmed with this deep sense of peace within me. Interestingly enough, both things happened this time around. The thing I learned from God about today (yes, God speaks to us. Not literally, but he uses signs or sometimes God will even kind of make you think about things), but God made me think today about his mother Mary.

    Now, I love Mary. Mary is the best Mom anyone in the world could have. I always ask Mary to intercede for my Mom, because my poor Mother has a bout with depression, and I feel so bad for her all the time. I know she tries, but she cries sometimes at the drop of a hat, and most of the time she isn't happy, and I love her SO so much. There is never a day I don't pray about her, or my family for that matter.

    Anyways...sorry, I get side-tracked, but anyways, so I thought about Mary's life near the end of her son's life. I truly believe that near the end of her son's life, that she suffered a great deal. This was someone who was born clean. A woman, who was so full of "grace." And yet, her heart broke seeing Jesus die on the cross. I imagined her, crying, hurting, and sometimes I even think that she probably had a "dark night of the soul." Even before she gave birth to Jesus, when she was visited by the angel Gabriel, she asked Gabriel, when Gabriel asked her if she wouldn't mind being the son of God, she asked Gabriel "How can this be? I have no relations with another man." And yet, being not very old at all...I think she was in her teens when this was all going on. And yet she accepted somewhat of a cross. I think in a way Mary knew what was going to happen to her son, but I don't think she was prepared for the intensity.

    And so, once again, God was looking out for me and basically said "So, no matter what happens, when you feel that I am there, or when I am not there. Always know, that I am always with you. Pray to my Mother. Pray to Me. Pray to my Father in Heaven."

    It was after this moment, I had peace flood my very being. God is good.

    Ok....so now that that's done, I have to get supper ready for tonight, call my doctor and a company, and go over to my grandmothers house and help her out.

    Will keep you updated.
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    Jan 06, 2012 3:17 PM GMT
    Delivis saidThere are real problems in the world that you could spend your time helping to fix. And neither pornography nor masterbation count.



    It's his journey, and he's merely sharing it and not preaching to anyone else.

    Although he could clean up his first line a little and say, "Ok, so I am gonna be utilizing this thread to stop my obsession with Pornography and Masturbation"

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    Jan 06, 2012 8:11 PM GMT
    Jaken saidSo today on my journey to persevere in Christ, I went to mass.

    As usual, I went to confession, confessing the usual, I looked at porn, I committed adultery in my heart, I masturbated, I lied to both my father and my mother, etc...right?

    So anyways, as soon as I come out of confession, I'm telling ya, God works in the most mysterious of ways. As soon as I came out, (my penance was to say a decade of the rosary for a fallen away Catholic), but as soon as I came out of the Confessional, one of two things always seem to happen. Either a.) I learn something new about life in general, or b.) I become overwhelmed with this deep sense of peace within me. Interestingly enough, both things happened this time around. The thing I learned from God about today (yes, God speaks to us. Not literally, but he uses signs or sometimes God will even kind of make you think about things), but God made me think today about his mother Mary.

    Now, I love Mary. Mary is the best Mom anyone in the world could have. I always ask Mary to intercede for my Mom, because my poor Mother has a bout with depression, and I feel so bad for her all the time. I know she tries, but she cries sometimes at the drop of a hat, and most of the time she isn't happy, and I love her SO so much. There is never a day I don't pray about her, or my family for that matter.

    Anyways...sorry, I get side-tracked, but anyways, so I thought about Mary's life near the end of her son's life. I truly believe that near the end of her son's life, that she suffered a great deal. This was someone who was born clean. A woman, who was so full of "grace." And yet, her heart broke seeing Jesus die on the cross. I imagined her, crying, hurting, and sometimes I even think that she probably had a "dark night of the soul." Even before she gave birth to Jesus, when she was visited by the angel Gabriel, she asked Gabriel, when Gabriel asked her if she wouldn't mind being the son of God, she asked Gabriel "How can this be? I have no relations with another man." And yet, being not very old at all...I think she was in her teens when this was all going on. And yet she accepted somewhat of a cross. I think in a way Mary knew what was going to happen to her son, but I don't think she was prepared for the intensity.

    And so, once again, God was looking out for me and basically said "So, no matter what happens, when you feel that I am there, or when I am not there. Always know, that I am always with you. Pray to my Mother. Pray to Me. Pray to my Father in Heaven."

    It was after this moment, I had peace flood my very being. God is good.

    Ok....so now that that's done, I have to get supper ready for tonight, call my doctor and a company, and go over to my grandmothers house and help her out.

    Will keep you updated.


    Edit: Quote "...Gabriel asked her if she wouldn't mind being the son of God..." What I should've said was: "...Gabriel asked her if she wouldn't mind being the Mother of God..."
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Jan 07, 2012 2:37 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    Delivis saidThere are real problems in the world that you could spend your time helping to fix. And neither pornography nor masterbation count.



    It's his journey, and he's merely sharing it and not preaching to anyone else.

    Although he could clean up his first line a little and say, "Ok, so I am gonna be utilizing this thread to stop my obsession with Pornography and Masturbation"




    I think that's partly true as long as people who are saying these sorts of things make it clear that pornography or masterbation or sex (or whatever) are things THEY feel makes THEM a better person but in no way do they think these things are bad for people in general nor are they making any objective moral claims. Or, alternately, that praying or going to church or being religious has anything to do with being good.

    Objectively speaking we have a mountain of evidence pointing the fact that in fact sexual suppression of this kind are objectively terrible for almost everyone (if not in fact everyone) and I do cringe a bit when I see people trying to ascociate sex and lust with immorality.

  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Jan 07, 2012 2:41 AM GMT
    Oh and one more thing. Maybe I am reading him completely incorrectly, but I dont think the sort of person who posts things about the end of the world and tried to make incoherent biblical arguments about how gays can be saved is just "sharing his journey", I think he is preaching. And what he is preaching is - lets be honest - on the crazy side.
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    Jan 07, 2012 2:45 AM GMT
    I'm just waiting for "it" to happen.
    I won't even say what "it" is.

    2b273edf.gif
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    Jan 07, 2012 6:51 AM GMT
    Ok, so I like watching EWTN. Mother Angelica is quite awesome, not gonna lie. She was the founder of EWTN, and it's a blessing in disguise. I read a little bit on her, and she said trying to keep EWTN up and running was very hard for her. Some days there weren't enough viewers. Other days, there were a lot. Some days they didn't have the money, other days they did.

    Poor woman...she's under care, and she can't speak...I dunno if they can fix that or not but I hope they do. She's a funny, smart, beautiful woman, even in her old age.

    So, as I was saying, so I watch EWTN, and there's a show on there called "G.K. Chesterton: The Apostle of Common Sense." And this guy was brilliant. He was, I wanna say, way ahead of his own time. But, one thing that he said which was really brilliant, now granted I do not remember the exact quote, but he said something along the lines of sometimes I wonder why people think religion is such a bad idea. After all, what's so wrong about the 10 Commandments? What's so wrong about The Golden Rule? I don't see anything wrong in believing in good principles and morals.

    And I thought, makes perfect sense. Even if someone wasn't to believe in religion, which is fine, what's so wrong in believing things that are good?

    Personally however, I don't care what anyone believes in. You can be Atheist, you can be Jew, you can be Protestant, you can be Jehovah's Witness, I don't care. But, I think it's important to believe in something. And, sometimes, when you're the only one standing up for what you believe in, don't back down.

    "True strength is when everyone around you thinks that you'll never make it, but you trudge along anyways."

    It is 12:50 a.m. here and I will be going to bed probably soon. I have not masturbated nor have I looked at porn. Will still keep you posted if I decide to stay up longer.

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    Jan 08, 2012 3:54 AM GMT
    There is a saint out there that I love to death. Her name is St. Therese of Liseux (a.k.a. The Little Flower). Her view on how to treat others, infectious.

    In this book I am currently in the middle of reading "Following the Lives of the Saints", St. Therese was described as someone with no outward drama, but inward drama. You see, St. Therese, at age 16, belonged to an order. She really wanted to be a Priest, because she wanted to serve God the best way she possibly could. However, since men are only allowed to become Priest's, she went into a nunnery.

    Anywho, so while in the nunnery, St. Therese wasn't no ordinary person. She had such a passion, a zest for life. If there was a nun that was different from the rest, she would spend time with that nun. Whenever she was sick, she wouldn't want any medicine. She would do things that most nuns, in her order, would think she was absolutely crazy.

    And yet, St. Therese suffered. Everytime she would suffer, she would suffer long periods. She never thought she was good enough for God. In a matter of fact, she thought she wasn't as good as the saint's before her, or even worthy of God's love. One day, while she was talking to one of the nun's, she said "You have no idea what I feel like sometimes." Sometimes she even wondered why God would do this to her.

    But, it was her view of the world is what is beautiful. She viewed every single person in the world as a flower. Some are tall like sunflowers, other's are beautiful like that of the rose. Some are even dandelions, but regardless of what flower each person is...each person praise's God in their own way. The reason she is called "The Little Flower" is because, she didn't see herself as a very big flower. In a matter of fact, she considered herself to be very small compared to others. She did "little things" for God, and hoped that that would be enough.

    Now, to make my day relevant to St. Therese's story, I had a very, VERY hard day today. Oh how my soul is weary. There was a part during the day where I had the urge to look at Porn, to masturbate, to committ adultery in my heart. So, I prayed. I kept praying till the thoughts would leave, and they did eventually. It's funny too, one of my cousin's were having a family get together, and once again, the thoughts entered into my head. So, I prayed once again till the thoughts left. The thoughts eventually left. But...when I went home...I just didn't feel upbeat. I felt so down, and some things from my past flooded my mind.

    That is when, however, I remembered St. Therese's story. How she had to suffer, and how she went through a lot of internal drama. I even felt very lonely today, very very very lonely. Therese would have the same moments too. However, with God's help, and with the day almost over, I have faith that once again I will persevere...whew. I think my soul's pretty tired too.

    I'm gonna stay up for a little while, will keep you updated.
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    Jan 08, 2012 4:09 AM GMT
    I'm tired. I have to sing tomorrow for mass. So today, another success! No Porn and no masturbation.
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    Jan 08, 2012 4:14 AM GMT
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    Jan 08, 2012 10:23 PM GMT
    Ok, so just now (4:08 p.m.) I have looked at Porn and masturbated. Today apparently...my faith wasn't strong enough. The dang thoughts bothered me like no other...and I kept praying, and praying, and praying. I think though, however, I know what I did wrong. I didn't say my rosary, my Novena for the Unborn, and my Novena for Employment yet. So, for now on, I'm gonna modify a few things.

    First off, God should always be kept first. He is the one that gives people life not only within the womb, but within the body. So, say my prayers first...even before exercising...say the prayers first, THEN go on with my day.

    Another thing is, I need to ask God for more patience regarding this issue as well. Most days I'm pretty patient about things, and life in general, but on some things, my patience tends to wear thin. So, I'm gonna ask God for patience.

    Gosh...I feel horrible. Wonderful....I just crucified Jesus again! Gosh dangit! I don't like seeing Jesus on the Cross. I'm a selfish little a-hole that should be slapped. I'm sure God is sitting there saying "Why don't you love me? I give you a great family, a good life, I give you all of these things. I told you I would take care of the rest. I told you I would make sure things would go smoothly. I told you things would be ok, and yet, you don't love me? All I ask is that you love me. How come that's too much to ask? I'm the one pulling the weight here, but you're the one slacking off. That's not very fair to me."

    I will make sure to pray my rosary still and everything else, but, what the hell is my problem? Am I that much of a selfish bastard? Probably.

    I just need to settle down again...and I'll start feeling better. I know that with the Lord, anything is possible, and I truly believe that at one period in time, I will get through this. I'll be able to live a freeing and Christ-like life. The conversion process is a constant process. It only really stops when you die. Oh well...oh bla di, oh bla da, life goes on...
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    Jan 09, 2012 2:56 AM GMT
    Alright...quickie little blurb and then I'll be doing my rosary and the other prayers, and maybe go to bed afterwards.

    It is 2004, I am 14ish...maybe 15, I dunno. Anywho, I attended a private school, and it was 8th Grade, that last grade before going into the wilderness of High School, where there would be varying degree's of social classes, and the world of Porn and Masturbation would come into play.

    Anywho, so it was 8th Grade, and the big deal about being in 8th Grade was Confirmation. Confirmation in Roman Catholicism, is basically "confirming" that yes, this is my faith. This is who I will be for the rest of my life. A Catholic. Now, as an 8th Grader, I didn't know the first thing about Confirmation. I knew it was one of the big Sacraments, but I had no idea exactly what it entailed. During my grade/middle high school years, I did have a prayer life. I would pray the rosary all throughout grade school and middle school. And, when you're going through Confirmation, there are certain prayers you had to memorize. The prayers part was easy, seeing as though I was familiar with most of them. But, there were other things that I was not so good with. But, throughout it all, it was a very, very satisfying experience on a personal level. Now, when I agreed to be faithful to God the day of my Confirmation, I had no idea exactly what that entailed. Probably because I was only 14 and/or 15 yrs. old. I was naive for goodness sakes, and that's ok, nothing wrong with being naive. It comes with the territory.

    It's 2004 still, High School. Freshmen year. I was somewhat nervous, because I had to learn and to somehow cope with that transition from public to private schools. At the same time, it was a new beginning, a new place, new people, new things to learn. It was an exciting, but scary time all the same. Things went ok...for a little while, and then I was introduced to Porn. What followed was Masturbation, as you may have guessed. At first, it didn't seem like such a big deal. There's a girl and a guy kissing and doing something funky with their bodies, and it turned me on. That eventually led to homosexual porn, which, was even better.

    And this is the hard part sometimes to talk about, because, it just haunts me every so often. You see, my whole life, even now, I've always been alone. I've never really got out to meet people, I never really blended in with the "in-crowd." And, it's all my fault, and I know this. I know that in order to make a friend, you've got to be a friend. But, I had really bad social anxiety, and I was just afraid of rejection. And so, what happened one day, while I was in high school, I said "Ok, I'm not gonna pray the rosary anymore. I'll just have to try to live good while being in school...no big." Haha...I'll never make that mistake again.

    I delved into sin. Everyday, I would sin, and sin, and sin. I started to loose my self-confidence. I started to loose my dignity. I started to loose....myself. People could tell that I was acting really odd and they didn't wanna be around me. It got so bad that I made a deal with The Devil. There was a guy in high school that I thought the world of, but I didn't think I could ever get him. So, I basically told the Devil that I would do anything to have that guy, anything. And...would you know it, I could've very well have had him. There was a point in time where, him and I were alone. It was only at that moment when it literally hit me. I dunno if a lightbulb went off inside my head, I dunno if it was because of a spur of the moment type of thing, but I said to him "Look....you need to get away from me. You don't want to be hanging around me. I'm a horrible and evil person, and you don't need this." Ever since then, I've never spoken to him, we never became friends, nothing. What was even worse was, he was popular....icon_sad.gif.

    And so, to tie what I'm saying altogether, is simply this. When you start a life with Christ, you are starting a life of love. When I agreed to be with God for the rest of my life, I agreed that there will be tremendous suffering. I agreed that some people would hate me. I agreed that I would feel alone. I agreed that the desires of the flesh (Wanting to be with a man, having pre-marital sex, etc...) are things that I would have to give up. (And, I haven't completely given these things up yet, but that's because my faith is still being exercised. My faith is still a work in progress). However, in return, God would handle everything else. God would handle my issues, and my worries. He would help me be strong through the rough times. All He asks is to simply love Him. Is it hard? Well, it certainly isn't easy...not by any means. Did I loose a lot? Oh yes. There are a lot of people now that used to go to high school, who now have something to talk about. But, is it rewarding? Very much so. To me, love is the greatest thing in the world. It's something that the human race desperately hungers for. But, real love, real peace can never be achieved unless done through Christ.

    F.Y.I.: I haven't had sex at all. Reason why I said that is because quote "I agreed that the desires of the flesh (Wanting to be with a man, having pre-marital sex, etc...) are things that I would have to give up. (And, I haven't completely given these things up yet, but that's because my faith is still being exercised. My faith is still a work in progress)." I promise, I've never had sex at all. I was simply giving examples.
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    Jan 09, 2012 3:25 AM GMT
    Jaken saidAlright...quickie little blurb and then I'll be doing my rosary and the other prayers, and maybe go to bed afterwards.

    It is 2004, I am 14ish...maybe 15, I dunno. Anywho, I attended a private school, and it was 8th Grade, that last grade before going into the wilderness of High School, where there would be varying degree's of social classes, and the world of Porn and Masturbation would come into play.

    Anywho, so it was 8th Grade, and the big deal about being in 8th Grade was Confirmation. Confirmation in Roman Catholicism, is basically "confirming" that yes, this is my faith. This is who I will be for the rest of my life. A Catholic. Now, as an 8th Grader, I didn't know the first thing about Confirmation. I knew it was one of the big Sacraments, but I had no idea exactly what it entailed. During my grade/middle high school years, I did have a prayer life. I would pray the rosary all throughout grade school and middle school. And, when you're going through Confirmation, there are certain prayers you had to memorize. The prayers part was easy, seeing as though I was familiar with most of them. But, there were other things that I was not so good with. But, throughout it all, it was a very, very satisfying experience on a personal level. Now, when I agreed to be faithful to God the day of my Confirmation, I had no idea exactly what that entailed. Probably because I was only 14 and/or 15 yrs. old. I was naive for goodness sakes, and that's ok, nothing wrong with being naive. It comes with the territory.

    It's 2004 still, High School. Freshmen year. I was somewhat nervous, because I had to learn and to somehow cope with that transition from public to private schools. At the same time, it was a new beginning, a new place, new people, new things to learn. It was an exciting, but scary time all the same. Things went ok...for a little while, and then I was introduced to Porn. What followed was Masturbation, as you may have guessed. At first, it didn't seem like such a big deal. There's a girl and a guy kissing and doing something funky with their bodies, and it turned me on. That eventually led to homosexual porn, which, was even better.

    And this is the hard part sometimes to talk about, because, it just haunts me every so often. You see, my whole life, even now, I've always been alone. I've never really got out to meet people, I never really blended in with the "in-crowd." And, it's all my fault, and I know this. I know that in order to make a friend, you've got to be a friend. But, I had really bad social anxiety, and I was just afraid of rejection. And so, what happened one day, while I was in high school, I said "Ok, I'm not gonna pray the rosary anymore. I'll just have to try to live good while being in school...no big." Haha...I'll never make that mistake again.

    I delved into sin. Everyday, I would sin, and sin, and sin. I started to loose my self-confidence. I started to loose my dignity. I started to loose....myself. People could tell that I was acting really odd and they didn't wanna be around me. It got so bad that I made a deal with The Devil. There was a guy in high school that I thought the world of, but I didn't think I could ever get him. So, I basically told the Devil that I would do anything to have that guy, anything. And...would you know it, I could've very well have had him. There was a point in time where, him and I were alone. It was only at that moment when it literally hit me. I dunno if a lightbulb went off inside my head, I dunno if it was because of a spur of the moment type of thing, but I said to him "Look....you need to get away from me. You don't want to be hanging around me. I'm a horrible and evil person, and you don't need this." Ever since then, I've never spoken to him, we never became friends, nothing. What was even worse was, he was popular....icon_sad.gif.

    And so, to tie what I'm saying altogether, is simply this. When you start a life with Christ, you are starting a life of love. When I agreed to be with God for the rest of my life, I agreed that there will be tremendous suffering. I agreed that some people would hate me. I agreed that I would feel alone. I agreed that the desires of the flesh (Wanting to be with a man, having pre-marital sex, etc...) are things that I would have to give up. (And, I haven't completely given these things up yet, but that's because my faith is still being exercised. My faith is still a work in progress). However, in return, God would handle everything else. God would handle my issues, and my worries. He would help me be strong through the rough times. All He asks is to simply love Him. Is it hard? Well, it certainly isn't easy...not by any means. Did I loose a lot? Oh yes. There are a lot of people now that used to go to high school, who now have something to talk about. But, is it rewarding? Very much so. To me, love is the greatest thing in the world. It's something that the human race desperately hungers for. But, real love, real peace can never be achieved unless done through Christ.

    F.Y.I.: I haven't had sex at all. Reason why I said that is because quote "I agreed that the desires of the flesh (Wanting to be with a man, having pre-marital sex, etc...) are things that I would have to give up. (And, I haven't completely given these things up yet, but that's because my faith is still being exercised. My faith is still a work in progress)." I promise, I've never had sex at all. I was simply giving examples.


    For me, "religion" and "spirituality" are two different things.
    I choose to wear my "religion" and "spirituality" lightly, like a comfortable old sweater. It warms and enhances my life.
    I choose not to wear my "religion" and "spirituality tightly, like a straight jacket. That's cold and would make me miserable.

    Just my own thoughts on my own spiritual journey 46 years down the road. I wish you the best on yours.
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    Jan 09, 2012 2:55 PM GMT

    Jaken, I told myself I wouldn't wade in here, being Christian myself and understanding that each person's journey is different, but your last post contained some stuff that I feel I need to comment on.

    "I delved into sin. Everyday, I would sin, and sin, and sin. I started to loose my self-confidence. I started to loose my dignity. I started to loose....myself. People could tell that I was acting really odd and they didn't wanna be around me. It got so bad that I made a deal with The Devil. There was a guy in high school that I thought the world of, but I didn't think I could ever get him. So, I basically told the Devil that I would do anything to have that guy, anything. And...would you know it, I could've very well have had him. There was a point in time where, him and I were alone. It was only at that moment when it literally hit me. I dunno if a lightbulb went off inside my head, I dunno if it was because of a spur of the moment type of thing, but I said to him "Look....you need to get away from me. You don't want to be hanging around me. I'm a horrible and evil person, and you don't need this." Ever since then, I've never spoken to him, we never became friends, nothing. What was even worse was, he was popular..... "

    You were a CHILD, for gosh sake, and I think you never forgave that child and you should.

    Porn and masturbation are of themselves not some ghastly sins you're going to hell for. It's addiction to them that is the sin, if you like, if they control you and isolate you from life.

    "When I agreed to be with God for the rest of my life, I agreed that there will be tremendous suffering."

    To this I say, lol, wut!?! Christ suffered for us. You are supposed to appreciate that gift, I think, and understand that your belief is to be a haven and a refuge from suffering.

    Lastly, you said, " "I agreed that the desires of the flesh (Wanting to be with a man, having pre-marital sex, etc...) are things that I would have to give up. (And, I haven't completely given these things up yet, but that's because my faith is still being exercised. My faith is still a work in progress)"

    So now I'm going to ask you, if you think being with a man is a sin, what exactly you're doing on RJ?

    -Doug




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    Jan 09, 2012 3:28 PM GMT
    meninlove said So now I'm going to ask you, if you think being with a man is a sin, what exactly you're doing on RJ?

    -Doug

    That was a question I had from his first post, the implication being that if he accepts the doctrine that pornography & masturbation are sins, then so is living gay, based on the teachings of his religion. Because I don't think the RCC lets the laity cherry-pick very much of the Church's tenets. You sorta gotta accept the whole ball of wax.
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    Jan 09, 2012 7:44 PM GMT
    Ok, I don't have a whole lot of time (I have to help my grandma soon), but, quick update:

    So, the groundbreaker at our house is a real faulty groundbreaker. It's not connected to an circuit breaker, so whenever the groundbreaker goes off, it doesn't affect the circuit breaker. What I am trying to say is, basically the kitchen is out of power. Everything else has power, but the kitchen is out of power. The kitchen is also the room where our router is. So, I can't do any updates till the kitchen's ground breaker is fixed. Till then, I will come to the library to do updates, like I am now.

    I can't talk about a whole lot, but will go more into detail when I get the chance to do so. So, I'll leave you with this (if you don't understand it, no worries, but if you do, great!)- God doesn't hate homosexuals. I'll say it again, God doesn't hate homosexuals.

    I will try to come back and elaborate. However, I have to go to G-ma's right now. Have a good day everybody.

    *Ok back, and ready to fix up this post*

    Ok, so on the subject of God's thoughts on homosexuality. When I was in High School, I remember not liking myself at all, because I thought God wanted to just want nothing to do with me. And, I remember constantly going to Confession, confessing the same sins over and over again (And I still do...but I don't sin as much as I did in high school. This is not to say my sins are any better, because they're not, but, I know too that God knows that I'm trying.).

    Now, before I came out, my Mom (And oh how I love my Mom. She goes through so much hurt each and everyday. It's a part of her depression, and I love her more than I ever have before.). Anywho though, at the time, there was one day where it was with all of our brothers in the car, and I haven't "came out" before or whatever, and my Mom and my Brother somehow got into the conversation of homosexuality. My Mom said, at the time, "If any of you become that way I will disown you." Now...naive little me, was thinking that my whole world would suddenly crash. I would no longer have a Mom...the thought was haunting. It was almost scary, in some sense. But, now since I'm with God, I think it's just because she's depressed, and sometimes when you're depressed you say things that you don't necessarily mean but it comes out that way. I love my Mom a whole lot...because she's so beautiful. She always thinks about us, and is constantly doing stuff for us. I can tell she tries, and that's all that matters.

    And, there was another thing that my Father said that never really made any sense to me until now. I remember asking him if it was such a bad thing to be homosexual. Now, my Father, for as long as I've known has always been a good one. He's very religious and believes in doing the right thing. So, I was just curious what my Father and The Big Man felt about it. My Father said this: "Jake, I don't think God necessarily hates homosexuals. Think about it, what's so wrong with a man saying to another man that he's handsome? I don't think it's wrong to admire the beauty of a man. It would be no different if someone who's straight was to say "Wow, that woman is beautiful." No, God wants you to admire his creation, he truly does. What God doesn't like is when a man sleeps with a man. It says so in The Bible "A man may not lay with another man." If you remember Genesis, it specifically states "God made them male and female."" Now, of course, at the time my Dad said this...I didn't quite get it, but it makes perfect sense to me. God never makes junk, and this might be my cross to bear, but that's ok. Something else my Dad said that really hit home for me now is: "And, Jake, how do you know that God doesn't have something special planned for you? Jake, maybe the reason why you were given this cross is because you may be called for something higher. You might be called to get a ton of souls out of Purgatory...did you ever think about that?"" I never did, but maybe that's true. However, I highly doubt it, I'm not that great of a person, so I seriously doubt it. But, to me, that makes perfect sense. I do enjoy how a man looks. It just appeals to me. As long as I don't entertain evil or nasty thoughts, or do the nasty with a man, God won't frown upon it.

    Another reason why I don't do this is my definition of love. I've mentioned this in a forum post before, but I'll say it again. Just like Jesus died on the Cross for me, (or just like Jesus "sacrificed" himself for me), then I owe him...big time. So, I figure, since I love Jesus like I claim, then not laying with another man is the least I can do. That's my way of sacrificing for Jesus.

    Another thing I think about too is, God is my Father right? And, just like any good Father, he knows what is right for me and what is wrong for me as well. God wants me to succeed. God wants me to be a good person. God wants me to help show his love. So, if God tells me I shouldn't do something, he says this not because he hates me. God is good, so he couldn't hate me. He says this because He loves me. I could disagree. I could think His ways are weird. I could think how ridiculous He is till I'm blue in the face, that doesn't mean that the way I think is right. Just because someone is born with a compulsion to steal doesn't make it right for that person to steal. Just because someone who is born and likes to set fires off all the time, doesn't mean that what that person does is right. Just because I have these desires to be with a man and to love a man, doesn't mean that I should.

    Again, you're free to believe what you want to believe. Everyone on this website is 18 yrs. of age or older, so you people are old enough and big enough to where you should think for yourselves and live your own lives. I have my own life to worry about, I don't need to get involved in someone else's. I don't expect people to agree with me, nor do I want people to agree with me. I am but a mere creature, an instrument if you will. I'm nothing great or spectacular, and that's fine. If anything, when you read my things and you do happen to agree with me and want to be Catholic, I don't want you to be Catholic simply because I said it. I want you to become Catholic because 1.) You want to. And 2.) Because you feel compelled to serve God. Again, I'm the creation, and that's all I am. One of the main reasons why I do this is to better myself, because I do have a bad past. Serving God is my way of dealing with it. Maybe you have a different way, and that's fine.

    Ok, I've gotta go, lol. I have to get ready for choir practice tomorrow. Yesternight I didn't masturbate or look at Porn. "You can only go forward...NEVER backwards."
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    Jan 10, 2012 4:41 AM GMT

    "God doesn't hate homosexuals."


    ..which then, I take it, means that god is fine with your being with a man.

    -Doug
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    Jan 10, 2012 4:44 AM GMT


    PS get an electrician in, and change out your breaker box. icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 11, 2012 3:56 AM GMT
    Updated my above post, for those who haven't read it!

    Tomorrow's gonna be 2 WEEKS of exercising! Tomorrow's also my only off day. I'm excited to see my hard work pay off, and can't wait to one day get that body that I've wanted for a while now!
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    Jan 11, 2012 4:01 AM GMT
    Jaken saidUpdated my above post, for those who haven't read it!

    Tomorrow's gonna be 2 WEEKS of exercising! Tomorrow's also my only off day. I'm excited to see my hard work pay off, and can't wait to one day get that body that I've wanted for a while now!


    Great to hear about the exercising! Keep it up! Do your cardio even if you don't hit the weights. It's a metabolism thing.

    How's "that itch" you/ve been wrestling with?
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    Jan 11, 2012 4:26 AM GMT
    GAMRican said
    Jaken saidUpdated my above post, for those who haven't read it!

    Tomorrow's gonna be 2 WEEKS of exercising! Tomorrow's also my only off day. I'm excited to see my hard work pay off, and can't wait to one day get that body that I've wanted for a while now!


    Great to hear about the exercising! Keep it up! Do your cardio even if you don't hit the weights. It's a metabolism thing.

    How's "that itch" you/ve been wrestling with?


    You would know if you read my post that I edited. The one where I say "God doesn't hate homosexuals."

    For today though...so far so good. OH, and I think I'm gonna get an interview at WalMart, and I was like BANGIN! So...let's hope the interview(s) go well!