long distance relationships would you call it a relationship?

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    Jan 08, 2012 5:59 PM GMT
    would you call them long distance relationships, a relationship? How involved have you got before (emotionally) with someone over skype, etc....

    Reason I ask, is that recently for the past few months I got to know this guy online and we fell for each other but we know that we can not meet right now due to distance, etc...

    So recently he went online and found a local guy, and is telling me about him, he said he wants me to know everything and that he does not want to loose me. What am I to do? Feel?
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    Jan 08, 2012 6:05 PM GMT
    graphicb saidwould you call them long distance relationships, a relationship? How involved have you got before (emotionally) with someone over skype, etc....

    Reason I ask, is that recently for the past few months I got to know this guy online and we fell for each other but we know that we can not meet right now due to distance, etc...

    So recently he went online and found a local guy, and is telling me about him, he said he wants me to know everything and that he does not want to loose me. What am I to do? Feel?



    Ok...so he went online and found a local guy...for what?
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    Jan 08, 2012 6:09 PM GMT
    so that he can have sex, but he said he wants love from someone. Meanwhile there was another guy too, and he said that other guy he stop talking to, so now it is me and this guy he seen once and the guy told him that next time they should have sex.

    He said between us 3 guys, he would have picked me if I was local.
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    Jan 08, 2012 6:22 PM GMT
    When I first read this, I thought it was started by an 18 or 19 yr old. No offense, dude, but you sound very naive for a 40 yr old.
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    Jan 08, 2012 6:25 PM GMT
    RIGuy60 said When I first read this, I thought it was started by an 18 or 19 yr old. No offense, dude, but you sound very naive for a 40 yr old.


    Okay what ever you thought, do you have an input as to what to do?
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    Jan 08, 2012 6:28 PM GMT
    Yeah, find someone else.
    I've never been in a long-distance relationship so I can't give much advice with that, but they have worked for many people. Your situation doesn't even sound close to what I would define as a relationship...at least not a real, monogamous anyway.

    Have to ask, is this a first time gay experience for you? Are you new to being out?
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    Jan 08, 2012 6:32 PM GMT
    Well, your correct, I tend to easily develop feelings and that has gotten me into more heartache long distance. I just came out of one few months ago and it was not pleasant. I would like to slowly get out of this, since it is useless. I have been with local guys, had a bf or 2, but that was in the past.

    I think all this online stuff is waste of time.
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    Jan 08, 2012 9:07 PM GMT
    I don't think it's a waste of time. There are a lot of good quality guys here on RJ and I've enjoyed communicating with every one of them. Even though I say I'd never do a long distance thing, they are sure a few here who could make me rethink that.
    Just hang in there. It sounds very much like this guy you're talking about is playing you.
  • Puppy80

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    Jan 08, 2012 10:06 PM GMT
    It's hard to really know for sure unless you can spend time with him. I met my bf through this site and now we spend time flying back and forth to spend time with each other. It's tough and we both would love to be together all the time, but right now it's tough for either of us to move.
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    Jan 08, 2012 10:22 PM GMT
    If you don't know, it's not a relationship. Sorry.

    You found a friend. A guy that you're emotionally bonded to.
    If you don't know what you two are and haven't/can't/didn't talk to the guy about what you two are to each other, it's not a relationship.
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    Jan 08, 2012 10:28 PM GMT
    I will give as much insight/advice as I can.

    My situation is a little different because I work for a major airline and fly free. SO...., seeing my boyfriend is a bit easier on a weekly basis though he lives exactly 1536 miles away from me, though at this point, I basically live in two places.

    Without my job, we both know it wouldn't work because of my separation anxiety, and because we both agree not seeing each other weekly would not be good for us.

    In your situation, it sounds as though he wants to explore local guys (which is fine/normal since you've never even met him), and he also is interested in you. So I say go along with it. Who cares, you've never met him, and if anything you'll make a good friend. You just can't get too attached. Getting too attached to someone you've never met is a big mistake and will cause you unnecessary bitterness and heartache.

    Find local guys as well. You're 40. You're bound to find mature guys your age looking for the same things as you.
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    Jan 08, 2012 10:35 PM GMT
    running11 saidI will give as much insight/advice as I can.

    My situation is a little different because I work for a major airline and fly free. SO...., seeing my boyfriend is a bit easier on a weekly basis though he lives exactly 1536 miles away from me, though at this point, I basically live in two places.

    Without my job, we both know it wouldn't work because of my separation anxiety, and because we both agree not seeing each other weekly would not be good for us.

    In your situation, it sounds as though he wants to explore local guys (which is fine/normal since you've never even met him), and he also is interested in you. So I say go along with it. Who cares, you've never met him, and if anything you'll make a good friend. You just can't get too attached. Getting too attached to someone you've never met is a big mistake and will cause you unnecessary bitterness and heartache.

    Find local guys as well. You're 40. You're bound to find mature guys your age looking for the same things as you.


    Good advice. Although I don't see how you can be that emotionally attached to someone you have never met.
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    Jan 08, 2012 10:39 PM GMT
    thank you all , I was at first emotionally attached but now much better, as I said I made that mistake before and do not wish to repeat it.
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    Jan 08, 2012 10:49 PM GMT
    Oh, dude. I'm trying to be constructive when I say either you meet in person with the understanding that one of you move for the other; or you transition this relationship into a friendship. This just sounds painful. Long distance is really 'the slow goodbye.' You painfully deal with not being with one another until one of you says exactly what your guy just did.. And then it's all downhill.