lord - I exceeded the word limit on here - here is the rest of my post:
a] You go home with him, screw the living daylights out of him and you live happily ever after with him! (and here I have to say to you again "LUCKY BASTARD!")
b] You go home with him, screw the living daylights out of him, however, after 3 months you realize the sex is getting old and you really didn’t have “that” connection…it really was just a “lust” thing and you move on with your single life. (now doesn’t this sound like a familiar outcome…)
c] You don’t go home with him, you actually “date” without sex for an extended period and finally you fall in love with him and then have sex, it’s amazing, passionate, hot sex and you live happily ever after with him!
d] You don’t go home with him, you actually “date” without sex for an extended period and finally you fall in love with him and then have sex, however, he the sex is really not great and you agonize over whether his paltry performance in bed is really that important to you. You either leave him or stay with him because you've fallen in love with who he is and not how he performs in bed nor because he has a small dick and you’re BOB (Big Ol Bottom)….
e] You don’t go home with him, you actually “date” without sex for an extended period and finally you fall in love with him only to be told he doesn’t feel the same way about you. Now you’re really screwed….you never got to try out the goods nor do you have a boyfriend….
OK, so this got long winded. Perhaps you’ve identified with some of the outcomes, perhaps not. Few of us get to have the (a) outcomes, but they do happen. There is nothing wrong with wanting the (a) outcomes. Don’t be discouraged if you typically seem to have the (d) or (e) outcomes. It really doesn’t matter who you are, what you look like or what you do – the older you get the more the likelihood that you’ve experienced perhaps ALL the outcomes at least once in your life.
The point being, life offers us SO many different scenarios and options. Firstly, know what you want. Secondly stand firm with what you believe. If you honestly feel that you don’t want to have sex with another guy you find attractive on the non-physical side of things, then don’t and NEVER let anyone make you feel guilty for what you believe in. Who gives a crap if it is “old fashioned” to have certain views or values. If it’s important to you and that other someone special you meet shares the same values and ideals in life then it won’t be a problem.
Don’t try to fit a square peg in a round hole is all I am saying. Don’t limit yourself by being unwilling to perhaps change your views on things and see things from different perspectives. Ultimately, do what YOU think is right for you and not necessarily what other people tell you what is right – one size does not fit all. But most important don’t confuse sex with love. They are two very different beasts with their own sets of agendas. Sex can be had without love and love can be had without sex, but man, when you can have both together, that’s when you’ve hit the jackpot.
Lastly, let’s not criticize each other for the values and beliefs we have unless we ourselves don’t’ mind being criticized for our beliefs and values!