How to finally propose dating after 7 years of being friends?

  • D1234

    Posts: 2

    Jan 08, 2012 7:08 PM GMT
    This is a potential loaded question I know, but I'll give a short background.

    Me and a guy met 7 years ago and clicked. We've both had boyfriends at times, timing has never worked out. There was a time where we didn't talk for 2-3 of those years because of different issues. The past 8 months or so we're seeing each other every 1-2 months, and we both admit to liking each other, but he has worried about losing our friendship if we start trying to be more.

    Other issue is we are 3 hours away from each other. When my last relationship ended a year ago he told me to go on dates so he's not a rebound, and I've had no problem with him going on dates either. But since October we've gotten closer, we talk everyday, see each other more, etc. When I get off work this Friday coming up, he asked me to come straight to his house so we can do our New Years together for the weekend.

    Move to yesterday. I hadn't talked to him since New Years Eve (very unusual - we were talking daily) and he hadn't answered 2 times during the week I tried him. He spoke briefly to me yesterday, said he was busy with work which is possible. But also being setup by someone of a friend to meet someone for a date last night. I just told him to have fun and be careful and to remember I was seeing him in 6 days for the weekend. The response from him was "yeah ok" and that was it.I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little concerned, because I thought we were getting closer, not further apart.

    I need some guidance on how to finally pop the question of either yes we're dating, or no we aren't. I don't want to lose him; we've known each other so long, yet don't want him hurting me either. Am I over worrying?

    Assuming I'm still seeing him next Friday/Sat/Sun, what should I say to him? Is there truly a middle ground, or should there be boundaries of either yes or no so everyone is on the same page?
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 08, 2012 7:09 PM GMT
    a slippery slope to try to climb; going from friends to bfs.

    trust me on this one.


    icon_sad.gif
  • D1234

    Posts: 2

    Jan 08, 2012 9:45 PM GMT
    rnch saida slippery slope to try to climb; going from friends to bfs.

    trust me on this one.


    icon_sad.gif


    Can you elaborate?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2012 9:56 PM GMT
    D1234 said
    rnch saida slippery slope to try to climb; going from friends to bfs.

    trust me on this one.

    icon_sad.gif

    Can you elaborate?

    As a new member, a tip:

    Click on rnch's pic to take you to his profile page. Scroll down and you'll find several of his recent posts, and you can click again to view all his forum posts. Some of his thread titles are self-explanatory about their contents relative to dating, and the sometimes rocky road it involves.

    Don't fix something if it's not broken. Do you think you're in imminent danger of losing him, and is this an unacceptable arrangement for you at present? I'm not clear what your ultimate goal is, and how "popping the question" with be able to bring that about.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 08, 2012 9:58 PM GMT
    D1234 said
    rnch saida slippery slope to try to climb; going from friends to bfs.

    trust me on this one.


    icon_sad.gif


    Can you elaborate?



    when 2 guys change from "just friends" to "gay boyfriends" it puts a lot of pressure on both of you two to conform to what the image is of bfs.

    can he handle it?

    can you?

    only one way to find out!

    best of luck to both of you; hoping it works out for you.