Is it tough for you to make friends in the U.S.?

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    Jan 09, 2012 2:32 AM GMT
    Alright my intent of this thread is not to bash nor to attract vindictive comments.

    So I have been out in houston for about 3 years now and I have some friends and acquaintances here and there. I find though, that for the most part it is difficult for me to make good loyal friends here in the states. I dunno I guess I am not putting much on my part and should be doing more to attract more friends. It kinda seems like when I tell them I only wanna be friends they leave or stop talking to me or in the case of grindr they block me. I do admit that I utilize grindr and adam4adam to make some friends in houston, but it isn't really working haha. I mean I just wanna meet guys that don't wanna get into my pants...

    Anyway... When I was in Barcelona for 6 weeks this summer visiting my family, I utilized grindr, gayromeo (Europe's adam4adam site), and workout groups to meet people. I was only there for 6 weeks but yet I met 5 different guys who I hung out with routinely while in Barcelona. All of them I met using gayromeo or grindr. I didn't sleep with them because my intent and their intent was to be friends. It turns out that I had a blast with them and didn't want to return to the U.S haha. After I left Barna, I received more texts and phone calls from the friends I met in Barcelona than my friends here. On my birthday, they were the first to wish me happy bday via texts. One of them even put on a silly party hat and sent me a photo text of himself. I also planned on going to NYC with a guy I met there just cause he had never been. I honestly have never had friends like those I made in Barcelona. I loved europe so much that I will be there almost 3 months this coming summer.

    I dunno, I just dont see that happening here in the states. Maybe it's just me, maybe I had such success at meeting friends in Europe because I was a foreigner and because of my ties to Spain. Do you think guys in other countries are more receptive to friendships? Just wanna get your thoughts. Or maybe I'm just crazy hehe.

    Thanks guys!
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    Jan 09, 2012 3:19 AM GMT
    Friendships can be tough to make anywhere on Earth, I'd guess. They take time, patience, and to a certain extent, you have to work to maintain a friendship.

    It seems highly likely that there are people in Barcelona who feel like they have very few, if any at all, friends. Maybe you got lucky and found a group of guys you just clicked with while you were there. I made a good friend when I visited Toronto for 6 weeks, and we kept in touch for a couple years after. That's not to say that there aren't places where you feel like you're more of an integrated part of the community, rather than an outsider.
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    Jan 09, 2012 3:30 AM GMT
    No.
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    Jan 09, 2012 3:34 AM GMT
    Yeah, actually. Lasting ones anyway. I grew up in Mexico, and the kids I went to High School with I'm friends with to this day (and we weren't even really that good friends in High School. Hell some we weren't friends at all, but somehow that sense of loyalty to each other was there).

    I went to college in the US, and while I was there I immediately made this HUGE group of friends. And we hung out EVERY day, they were always there, we did tons of stuff together, and I was like holy shit look at all these wonderful friends I've made!

    I graduated, they graduated, they never fucking spoke to me ever again. Any of them. And I was like uh....ok were we ever friends to begin with then o_O?
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    Jan 09, 2012 3:35 AM GMT
    I honestly dont have long-standing gay friends. All my friends are mostly straight. However recently on vacation I met a great guy from the US. Kinda hard to find a "wing man" for gays, but he helped me out legitimately and didnt do it for personal gain.

    you just have to be more out-going and legit in your conversations. have a funny story, treat them like they are the most important person on the planet. that mind frame typically breaks down the barriers and mis-communication.
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    Jan 09, 2012 3:35 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidYeah, actually. Lasting ones anyway. I grew up in Mexico, and the kids I went to High School with I'm friends with to this day (and we weren't even really that good friends in High School. Hell some we weren't friends at all, but somehow that sense of loyalty to each other was there).

    I went to college in the US, and while I was there I immediately made this HUGE group of friends. And we hung out EVERY day, they were always there, we did tons of stuff together, and I was like holy shit look at all these wonderful friends I've made!

    I graduated, they graduated, they never fucking spoke to me ever again. Any of them. And I was like uh....ok were we ever friends to begin with then o_O?


    Yes. That happens to me too. But whenever there is a rare occassion I do see them again, we pick up right where we left off. So isn't there something to say about that?
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    Jan 09, 2012 3:52 AM GMT
    JustThisOnce saidUSa people are just all about the Benjamin, no care for others. But in Canada it is a different story


    You still think the Earth is flat, don't you.
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    Jan 09, 2012 4:01 AM GMT
    I think it just depends. When I went to study in Russia, most of the friends I made were a group of Chinese and Korean students. I bonded with them instantly and became part of their group. I'll never forget how each 12 of them stopped by my room on my birthday to wish me a happy birthday and give me a card. Then they took me to a club later that night and threw me a birthday party the next night. When the day came for me to fly back home, I was sincerely sad to leave them knowing I probably wouldn't see any of them again. This was back in 2006.

    Unfortunately for my Chinese friends, it's been difficult to stay in touch with any of them because of China's strict censorship laws on the internet. I've only been able to exchange a couple of brief e-mails with one of them. Fortunately, earlier this year I got back in touch with one of the Korean girls on Facebook who's now living in Kiev, Ukraine. She and I have had some time to catch up.

    As for the Russian friends I made, I've stayed in touch with one of them. Actually, she was my long-time penpal before I even went to Russia. I met her when I arrived in Moscow and spent the weekend site-seeing with her, her mom, and her best friend. She and I have remained online friends almost 10 years now!

    Meanwhile I'm still friends with my friends from college, although granted I only graduated in 2008. Can't say the same for my old high school friends, though icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 09, 2012 5:40 AM GMT
    I usually make a lot of friends actually... so I dunno :/