HELP! Age difference again

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    Jan 09, 2012 8:20 AM GMT
    Hi guys,

    I know this is a topic that pops up every now and then, but I feel like I am really not sure how to approach this situation, which happens very rarely.
    Long story short I started "sort-of-dating" a guy who is a friend of a friend of a friend.... and he is younger than me. I guess it sounds funny for a 21 yo to complain that someone is younger, but this one is finishing high school right now (it is legal around here).

    Ok so he is very nice, definitely outgrown his age both physically and emotionally, very fun and we click a lot... but sometimes I feel 40 around him! He is using these "cool" words and phrases that I have never even heard of, he is so emotional and moving all the time... like he can't sit still for a minute! And when I think that he has yet to explore the crazy gay 20's .... I do not think there is a place in his life for starting a LTR. So do you think it is really worth trying? Maybe I am just looking for an excuse? Please advise me icon_smile.gif

    Thanks! Cheers!
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    Jan 09, 2012 12:27 PM GMT
    Seems sort of young for both of you... But that's not to say you can't enjoy a "relationship" as long as you have in mind that it'll be, basically, the kind of relationship very young people have... And probably not the kind of relationship that well-weathered men in their 30s or 40s would have.

    I have a hard time imagining that lasting forever... but, at the same time, does it have to? You can just enjoy it for what it is now icon_smile.gif.
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    Jan 09, 2012 1:25 PM GMT
    just go for it
    i mean if you guys like each other dont let a "language" barrier get in between u guys
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    Jan 09, 2012 2:01 PM GMT
    I would enjoy this relationship for what it is. The two of you have a close friendship that has brought you together at this point in your lives. He's going to change significantly once he graduates from high school, and your perspective will change over time too.

    It would be easy to cloud this up with complicated emotions and expectations. Why do that? Enjoy being yourselves now without putting limits on what you can or can't do.

    If it works out, then go for it. If it doesn't work out, then you had an awesome close friend during this part of your life.
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    Jan 09, 2012 2:09 PM GMT
    fulldelight saidI do not think there is a place in his life for starting a LTR. So do you think it is really worth trying? Maybe I am just looking for an excuse? Please advise me

    You answer your own question: as a teenager (17-18?) he is likely too young for an LTR. He's a puppy who still needs to play, and you seem to be describing that in his behavior.

    Be his friend, hang out with him, but a young man is gonna be as hyper in his friendships as you say he's hyper in his actions. For now you might become his big brother, rather than his big daddy.
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    Jan 09, 2012 2:13 PM GMT
    Dude, what are you guys, 3-4 years apart? Come on, that's nothing! Yeah you're 21 and can drink now, so you "feel" much older, wait a few more years and you'll wish you were 21 again. If this guy's slang is the only hang up you have about him, you should feel fortunate.
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    Jan 09, 2012 2:22 PM GMT
    According to Wikipedia the age of consent in Bulgaria is 14. How old is he?
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    Jan 09, 2012 10:22 PM GMT
    Don't listen to these people who say you can't have a "real" relationship until you're 30 or 40. Think of all the straight people who were highschool sweethearts, got married at 21, and 30 years later are still happily married. Age has nothing to do with whether or not a relationship works.
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    Jan 09, 2012 10:29 PM GMT
    Screw age differences... I dated 12 years younger AND older...

    Edit: but be prepared to accept behavioural differences either way.. cant expect maturity levels to change for you
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    Jan 09, 2012 10:31 PM GMT
    IT probably wont work. Younger guys are always so flighty.
    Enjoy it while you can and before he moves on to the next one.
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    Jan 09, 2012 10:43 PM GMT
    Ruskach saidjust go for it
    i mean if you guys like each other dont let a "language" barrier get in between u guys


    Agreed. I once dated a Brazilian (twenty-eight) who spoke very little English and I (51) knew even less Portuguese. It was just beautiful, unbridled lust. I miss him.

    Now with a Venezuelan (35). His English is so so and my Spanish is muy crappy, but we get along just fine and have been together nearly a year.

    Life! Just let go and enjoy the ride! Why question everything?
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    Jan 09, 2012 10:59 PM GMT
    If he's :
    fulldelightso emotional and moving all the time... like he can't sit still for a minute!

    he's too young for you bro! icon_biggrin.gif

    I'm 18 so for the other guys sake- I have to say go for it. So here goes.
    GO FOR IT!!! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 09, 2012 11:01 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said Life! Just let go and enjoy the ride! Why question everything?


    Gentlemen, this is the best answer!!
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    Jan 11, 2012 2:59 PM GMT
    Thanks for the replies. For now I will just let things happen, but even though he is a pretty and smart boy, I definitely feel a little suspicious that something good can come out of it.

    @Stuttershock He is about to turn 18 soon.

    Right now he wants to be an artist, he is dressed and acting like a teenager and doesn't believe me that I do not have time to meet with him EVERY DAY because of my work. But I am trying to see the positive sides he has, especially since I have been through the same stages of my life.

    Have you guys been in a relationship with someone under 20?