I've been doing some research online about whether the friend zone applies for guys interested in potentially straight men. I found the following reddit question that seemed to offer a lot of advice: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3l6k/i_am_gay_what_do_i_say_to_a_guy_i_like_but_im_not/
however the asker needed to take a very different approach from me.
I'm 21 and the guy I like is 18, it's his last year of high school. We have a lot of friends in common and up until now we were only acquantances (seeing each other around more frequently over the last year). In the last month or so we just started hanging out one on one and more frequently.
I have had a lot of experience in propositioning straight friends in the past and they usually take it as a compliment and I spend the next few weeks trying to rid myself of sexual attraction for them (never works completely but I can erase the romantic feelings).
Most of the time it's friends I am really close with (like best friends), it has no effect on the friendship and never becomes anything; because they are straight.
It was really funny reading the linked article because the community offered such a diversity of sincere responses and I've even tried some of the things they were joking about in the past:
[–]Razorwire_Dave 1 point 3 months ago How about: "I love cock, do you love cock? If so, can I suck your cock?" Should work.
.... probably would've worked if the guy wasn't straight.
Anyways, I'm not really too worried about putting the friendship in jeopardy because I'm pretty sure my crush is not homophobic, he's actually a very shy, cute and sweet boy who wouldn't harm a fly; my only concern in this situation is that in only having started hanging with him recently, I haven't ensued enough chillage to be falling into danger of the friend zone (just yet).
For those of you that aren't familiar with the pick-up term "friend zone" it applies to a certain time frame (usually minutes or hours depending on the context of the situation) someone has to build attraction from the target that they are interested in. If one fails to make any kind of move or indication of interest within the time frame they fall into the the target's perspective as just a friend and forever a friend (excepting extenuating circumstances).
I've laid out most of the necessary demonstrations of higher value normally required to build attraction without directly showing I'm interested (even mild heterosexual kino escalation).
I'm wondering however, since the thought of being picked up or flirted with has not crossed my friend's mind (probably) has the friend zone time frame even begun? Or does it even exist in this situation?
The best I can gather from my knowledge and experience is that the friend zone defense time line should not initiate until my crush gets the idea that I'm interested in him. That being the case, is the most logical thing not to let the friendship develop for a few more weeks and pop the question when our connection is already a little stronger?
SECOND: in doing my research I see a lot of people saying that how this question is brought up can make a huge deal and since my crush is show shy I was thinking I wanted to put a little more work than usual into this.
In the past it's usually come up naturally as a point of conversation about someone else and I would say something like, "I know what he's feeling" or just not being able to resist the urge of morning wood and dropping a, "I like cock, do you like cock? How about I suck yours?"
Normally I would just go out and meet someone new but I haven't had any time for dating in the last year or so of my life and then feelings just randomly develop so I figure I may as well act on them as there's no harm.
Any and all advice on whether I should wait and how I should pop the question is greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read and let me know if I can offer any more information to help.
EDIT: The guy I have a crush on probably doesn't know that I'm bisexual; although there is a decent chance that he might. Most of my friends are closely knit together which is why I've been acquainted with this boy for the last few years without chilling with him. I only tell people about my sexuality as it comes it, it has nothing really to do with how close I am to the person. As a result, most of my close friends know along with a handful of people I'm only acquaintances with (I have no disposition or concern for who knows or not but it does make a difference in my approach to the question).
Seeing as me and the crush have never discussed my sexuality I would most logically approach the situation as if he didn't know; however I would say around half of his friends know and they know I don't care who knows so there is a decent possibility they would have mentioned it to my crush. This leaves me the option of going in assuming his ignorance or going in assuming he already knows. Any advice on which would work more to my advantage is greatly appreciated.