Shit My Students Write

  • errol88

    Posts: 365

    Jan 09, 2012 3:38 PM GMT
    ". . .and this helps to explain why black people like fried chicken and Mexicans like Mexican food."

    Suggested marginal comment: "In Mexico, it's just called food."

    And also, this:

    http://shitmystudentswrite.tumblr.com/



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    Jan 09, 2012 4:25 PM GMT
    One of my college students wrote this in his autobiography:

    "I was conceived at St. Mary's Hospital, on February 12, 1963."

    These student bios helped to form a basis for my first counseling session with my incoming ROTC Cadets. The conversation in my office went like this:

    "You say here you were conceived at St. Mary's Hospital. Your parents must have kept very good records, to even know the day."

    "Well, yes sir, I have the certificate, and there were other people present, of course."

    "Indeed? Are you sure you don't mean you were BORN at the hospital?"

    "Yes sir, that's what I wrote. Born -- conceived."

    "Umm... actually, conceiving is what happens 9 months before you are born, it's what needs to be done first in order to BE born, if you understand my meaning. So are you sure your parents conceived you on this exact date in a hospital, 9 months before you were born?"

    Recognition slowly spread across his reddening face, followed by an embarrassed grin.

    "Ah, well, no sir, I guess I'll need to change that. I really don't know how my parents conceived me."

    "Nor do I."
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    Jan 09, 2012 4:32 PM GMT
    I was perceived.........never. Apparently I was a mistake.
  • biggamehunter

    Posts: 87

    Jan 09, 2012 7:44 PM GMT
    I once wrote in a genetics paper, "...alas dead hamsters cannot reproduce." in response to a question on. . . well i don't remember the question I just remember my response and that the TA got a kick out of it.
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Jan 09, 2012 8:09 PM GMT
    You would not believe some of the things I read from psychology students either. I'm a young professor so at first I thought they were writing those things just to mess with me but I've discovered that's not the case. They are growing and learning. So I'm enjoying reading them now.
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:09 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidOne of my college students wrote this in his autobiography:

    "I was conceived at St. Mary's Hospital, on February 12, 1963."

    These student bios helped to form a basis for my first counseling session with my incoming ROTC Cadets. The conversation in my office went like this:

    "You say here you were conceived at St. Mary's Hospital. Your parents must have kept very good records, to even know the day."

    "Well, yes sir, I have the certificate, and there were other people present, of course."

    "Indeed? Are you sure you don't mean you were BORN at the hospital?"

    "Yes sir, that's what I wrote. Born -- conceived."

    "Umm... actually, conceiving is what happens 9 months before you are born, it's what needs to be done first in order to BE born, if you understand my meaning. So are you sure your parents conceived you on this exact date in a hospital, 9 months before you were born?"

    Recognition slowly spread across his reddening face, followed by an embarrassed grin.

    "Ah, well, no sir, I guess I'll need to change that. I really don't know how my parents conceived me."

    "Nor do I."


    I was conceived in Miami.. on the mainland actually... kind of funny
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:19 PM GMT
    GreenHopper saidI was conceived in Miami.. on the mainland actually... kind of funny

    Why was your conception funny? And how did you learn the details of it?
  • errol88

    Posts: 365

    Jan 09, 2012 8:23 PM GMT
    "Where I come from, it's not racist, it's just normal."
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:24 PM GMT
    biggamehunter saidI once wrote in a genetics paper, "...alas dead hamsters cannot reproduce." in response to a question on. . . well i don't remember the question I just remember my response and that the TA got a kick out of it.


    that's funny
  • errol88

    Posts: 365

    Jan 09, 2012 8:25 PM GMT
    While we're on the subject, this holds true as well:

    395348_540859063436_149501161_30837334_4
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    Jan 13, 2012 9:49 PM GMT

    from that blog


    Mac vs. PC

    PC is a old gay, who wears traditional and formal. Mac is a young gay, who looks modern and informal. On the other side, Mac is lighter than PC, because the old gay is fatter than young gay. In conclusion, APPLE used this form of comparison to show the benefits of Mac.


    lolwut
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    Jan 13, 2012 9:57 PM GMT
    errol88 saidWhile we're on the subject, this holds true as well:

    395348_540859063436_149501161_30837334_4


    icon_lol.gif It sure does.
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    Jan 13, 2012 10:06 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    GreenHopper saidI was conceived in Miami.. on the mainland actually... kind of funny

    Why was your conception funny? And how did you learn the details of it?
    ..

    No, funny that my parents met on the island.. conceived me on the mainland.. and birthed me on the island, i guess haha.. Ive been a migrant ever since I was in my parents' genitalia, lol

    My rents told me as we were passing the apartment in Miami where they lived.. a welcome piece of info for me at that time, I assure you
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    Jan 14, 2012 4:02 AM GMT
    Shawnathan saidMy birthday is the end of September, and so is my father's, so I am guessing we were conceived on NYE ... http://www.baby2see.com/conception_calculator.html

    But that calendar calculator won't go earlier than 2006
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    Jan 14, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    I WAS conceived at Northwestern Memorial. (My father was a surgeon there and my mother a psychiatrist.) It was always a joke in my family.