So when did you switch teams?

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    Jan 09, 2012 6:35 PM GMT
    Seems alot of men on this site were married at one time. So for how long were you married and how old were you when you switched? Was the breakup acrimonious or amicable? How well has the family adapted to your boyfriends or new life style? And any words of wisdom for those going through the process or those sitting on the fence?

    And for carriers of gold cards, feel free to chime in with your thoughts. But please be kind to your new brethren. You never know, you could wind up dating one of us (after all, we are new meat in the pool). icon_biggrin.gif

    (for reference, I am well along the process, but still have a couple hurdles to go)
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:10 PM GMT
    been sitting on the fence so long barbed wire is starting to grow into my butt cheeks. Telling the wife would not be pretty methinks. live in rural area where everyone knows everybody so downlow is out of the question as well. married 13 years and still living way back in the closet life.
  • hyperionx

    Posts: 232

    Jan 09, 2012 8:13 PM GMT
    I always knew what team I was on. icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:24 PM GMT
    hyperionx saidI always knew what team I was on. icon_smile.gif
    Ditto
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:27 PM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    hyperionx saidI always knew what team I was on. icon_smile.gif
    Ditto


    Same here.

    Although I played for the other team a bit to try it out.

    I didn't like it.

    At all.
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Jan 09, 2012 8:29 PM GMT
    I was married 8 years when we went our separate ways. That's when I switched teams completely. There was a little drama but not much. Sometimes I miss it because of good and regular sex, but I was miserable knowing that I wanted to have sex with some guys too. But if your experience in the gay world after divorce is like mine don't think it will be easy to find another partner in the gay world. It's a pretty challenging world to access if you still have your heterosexual like disposition when dealing with guys. Gotta learn the rules. But it might be different for you.
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:31 PM GMT
    Cash said
    TropicalMark said
    hyperionx saidI always knew what team I was on. icon_smile.gif
    Ditto


    Same here.

    Although I played for the other team a bit to try it out.

    I didn't like it.

    At all.


    I could actually see you as a straight guy.
    Thank Heavens you're not. icon_cool.gif
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Jan 09, 2012 8:33 PM GMT
    Yeah, I pretty much knew what I like since day one.
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:34 PM GMT
    SoDakGuy saidYeah, I pretty much knew what I like since day one.
    Thank Gawd!
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:35 PM GMT
    I'm curious. If you guy's knew you were gay from the start and had no interest in women, why did you get married, have kids etc? I'm in no way judging anyones actions, I'm simply clueless as to why someone would want to live a lie, and dig themselves deeper into a hole each day. I really don't think that's fair to your significant other, and especially yourself.
  • laxdude25

    Posts: 604

    Jan 09, 2012 8:36 PM GMT
    I've been happily married for 25 years. I was hetero up through college and lived with a series of sexually insatiable girl friends (probably kept me from experimenting). My best friend from college (rowed D1 varsity crew) hit on me spring term senior year, I turned him down, he tried again fall after graduation when I was living in DC and I hit the bid this time. Fireworks. I decided I was gay and came out, lasted two years with this buddy. Broke up, moved to NY, met another great guy, again, 2 years. But it didn't feel right, and it was clear I wasn't gay or straight. Went to grad school, came back to NY, tried dating both sides, met my future wife and wow, fireworks. Met my perfect life partner. I told her everything, both former bf's came to the wedding, and somehow it has all worked just fine. The key was the honesty BEFORE we got married, so she knew exactly what she was getting into.
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:36 PM GMT
    dan_x saidI'm curious. If you guy's knew you were gay from the start and had no interest in women, why did you get married, have kids etc? I'm in no way judging anyones actions, I'm simply clueless as to why someone would want to live a lie, and dig themselves deeper into a hole each day. I really don't think that's fair to your significant other, and especially yourself.


    You'd be surprised how easily denial, social pressure, and other factors can lead people to make decisions beyond their will.

    But at the same time, I've met guys who claimed that they really did love the women they were with. They felt romantic love with them. But when it came to sex, things became a problem.
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:39 PM GMT
    @versicht and @hyperionx, thanks for chiming in. Its great you were able to withstand the pressures that sent others of us down our difficult roads. I have got to believe that as societal pressures abate, fewer folks will make the choices hennj or I made.

    @hennj. Congrats on your first post. I feel your pain. I can't imagine what it would be like to turn your world upside down, absent of an environment that aforded some acceptance. Drop me a line should you want to chat anytime.
  • LaxJock16

    Posts: 784

    Jan 09, 2012 8:44 PM GMT
    Gold star gay here, have never fucked a woman before... but first guy on guy experience was when I was 17...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:45 PM GMT
    dan_x saidI'm curious. If you guy's knew you were gay from the start and had no interest in women, why did you get married, have kids etc? I'm in no way judging anyones actions, I'm simply clueless as to why someone would want to live a lie, and dig themselves deeper into a hole each day. I really don't think that's fair to your significant other, and especially yourself.


    Mine was driven by religious reasons. I was a fervent evangelical. Back then, few denomination were accepting of the gay life style. While the church has a long way to go, that is definately one of the pressures that is abating.
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:47 PM GMT
    pocketnico said
    dan_x saidI'm curious. If you guy's knew you were gay from the start and had no interest in women, why did you get married, have kids etc? I'm in no way judging anyones actions, I'm simply clueless as to why someone would want to live a lie, and dig themselves deeper into a hole each day. I really don't think that's fair to your significant other, and especially yourself.


    You'd be surprised how easily denial, social pressure, and other factors can lead people to make decisions beyond their will.

    But at the same time, I've met guys who claimed that they really did love the women they were with. They felt romantic love with them. But when it came to sex, things became a problem.


    Amen...preach on brother!
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    Jan 09, 2012 8:53 PM GMT
    GigoloAssassin said
    Cash said
    TropicalMark said
    hyperionx saidI always knew what team I was on. icon_smile.gif
    Ditto


    Same here.

    Although I played for the other team a bit to try it out.

    I didn't like it.

    At all.


    I could actually see you as a straight guy.
    Thank Heavens you're not. icon_cool.gif


    I with gig on this, but Cash already knows I am one of his groupies icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 09, 2012 9:01 PM GMT
    I used to think I didn't belong to any team, just sat disinterested on the sidelines and watched others play the game. My first time at bat wasn't until I was 26, never attended the high school prom, no dances, no nothing.

    Rather than choosing to finally join any team, it was more a case of my getting drafted, by my parents the Owner and General Manager. And my primary job was to produce a little league of my own, that could become part of the family franchise.

    I finally decided to get a release from my contract and became an independent agent at nearly 46. Team Gay made me an offer I couldn't refuse, much better than my previous deal, better utilizing my natural talents, and I've been playing with them ever since. A good move for me, since my game has improved immensely.

    But I'm afraid my active days on the field are drawing to their inevitable close, and so I'm looking to move into more of a coaching role, which I've already begun doing in my spare time.
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    Jan 09, 2012 9:05 PM GMT
    araphael saidI was married 8 years when we went our separate ways. That's when I switched teams completely. There was a little drama but not much. Sometimes I miss it because of good and regular sex, but I was miserable knowing that I wanted to have sex with some guys too. But if your experience in the gay world after divorce is like mine don't think it will be easy to find another partner in the gay world. It's a pretty challenging world to access if you still have your heterosexual like disposition when dealing with guys. Gotta learn the rules. But it might be different for you.


    Araphael, interesting perspective. What do you see so different?
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    Jan 09, 2012 9:11 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidI used to think I didn't belong to any team, just sat disinterested on the sidelines and watched others play the game. My first time at bat wasn't until I was 26, never attended the high school prom, no dances, no nothing.

    Rather than choosing to finally join any team, it was more a case of my getting drafted, with my parents the Owner and General Manager. And my primary job was to produce a little league of my own, that could become part of the family franchise.

    I finally decided to get a release from my contract and became an independent agent at nearly 46. Team Gay made me an offer I couldn't refuse, much better than my previous deal that better utilized my natural talents, and I've been playing with them ever since. A good move for me, since my game has improved immensely.

    But I'm afraid my active days on the field are drawing to their inevitable close, and so I'm looking to move into more of a coaching role, which I've already begun doing in my spare time.


    Art, followed your analogy up untill the end. Lost me on the coaching sentence, but perhaps I don't want to know.icon_eek.gif
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    Jan 09, 2012 9:13 PM GMT
    TriAthInCA said
    Art_Deco saidI used to think I didn't belong to any team, just sat disinterested on the sidelines and watched others play the game. My first time at bat wasn't until I was 26, never attended the high school prom, no dances, no nothing.

    Rather than choosing to finally join any team, it was more a case of my getting drafted, by my parents the Owner and General Manager. And my primary job was to produce a little league of my own, that could become part of the family franchise.

    I finally decided to get a release from my contract and became an independent agent at nearly 46. Team Gay made me an offer I couldn't refuse, much better than my previous deal, better utilizing my natural talents, and I've been playing with them ever since. A good move for me, since my game has improved immensely.

    But I'm afraid my active days on the field are drawing to their inevitable close, and so I'm looking to move into more of a coaching role, which I've already begun doing in my spare time.


    Art, followed your analogy up untill the end. Lost me on the coaching sentence, but perhaps I don't want to know.icon_eek.gif

    Just a metaphor for what I do online with gay social sites like this one. OK? icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 09, 2012 9:21 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    TriAthInCA said
    Art_Deco saidI used to think I didn't belong to any team, just sat disinterested on the sidelines and watched others play the game. My first time at bat wasn't until I was 26, never attended the high school prom, no dances, no nothing.

    Rather than choosing to finally join any team, it was more a case of my getting drafted, by my parents the Owner and General Manager. And my primary job was to produce a little league of my own, that could become part of the family franchise.

    I finally decided to get a release from my contract and became an independent agent at nearly 46. Team Gay made me an offer I couldn't refuse, much better than my previous deal, better utilizing my natural talents, and I've been playing with them ever since. A good move for me, since my game has improved immensely.

    But I'm afraid my active days on the field are drawing to their inevitable close, and so I'm looking to move into more of a coaching role, which I've already begun doing in my spare time.


    Art, followed your analogy up untill the end. Lost me on the coaching sentence, but perhaps I don't want to know.icon_eek.gif

    Just a metaphor for what I do online with gay social sites like this one. OK? icon_biggrin.gif


    Sorry my mind was in the gutter. icon_redface.gif

    You know how adolesants can be....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 09, 2012 9:25 PM GMT
    TriAthInCA said
    Art_Deco said
    TriAthInCA said
    Art_Deco saidI used to think I didn't belong to any team, just sat disinterested on the sidelines and watched others play the game. My first time at bat wasn't until I was 26, never attended the high school prom, no dances, no nothing.

    Rather than choosing to finally join any team, it was more a case of my getting drafted, by my parents the Owner and General Manager. And my primary job was to produce a little league of my own, that could become part of the family franchise.

    I finally decided to get a release from my contract and became an independent agent at nearly 46. Team Gay made me an offer I couldn't refuse, much better than my previous deal, better utilizing my natural talents, and I've been playing with them ever since. A good move for me, since my game has improved immensely.

    But I'm afraid my active days on the field are drawing to their inevitable close, and so I'm looking to move into more of a coaching role, which I've already begun doing in my spare time.


    Art, followed your analogy up untill the end. Lost me on the coaching sentence, but perhaps I don't want to know.icon_eek.gif

    Just a metaphor for what I do online with gay social sites like this one. OK? icon_biggrin.gif


    Sorry my mind was in the gutter.

    You know how adolesants can be....

    Nothing worse than an adolescent approaching middle age. Well let me give you some coaching about that... icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 09, 2012 11:38 PM GMT
    When I played for the other team I never played hard enough to score any points. I made it around all the bases pretty easily but I couldn't penetrate home plate. I never had to make a pass like all the other guys because they always threw the ball to me. One time in HS one of my best male friends made a pass when I was drunk and I got out of the car to threw up. We swore not to tell anyone and neither of us switched teams. But I wasn't playing hard enough for the team. I would get the ball and even when the defense was standing just waiting for me to make my move, I couldn't penetrate. When I finally switch teams I played rock hard. I watched the ball go in and out awhile before I finally got to shoot and boy did that feel good.

    But the other team didn't give up. They swore they could make me play just as hard as the other guys. After being out for six years, I was out drinking with my sister's roommate. She was a beautiful Brazilian model. We somehow ended up in bed and I still felt nothing sexual. That's when I decided to stick with the team that worked for me. There were a few more women who tried to get me to switch back but I kindly explained it wouldn't work.
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    Jan 10, 2012 12:12 AM GMT
    friendormate saidWhen I played for the other team I never played hard enough to score any points. I made it around all the bases pretty easily but I couldn't penetrate home plate. I never had to make a pass like all the other guys because they always threw the ball to me. One time in HS one of my best male friends made a pass when I was drunk and I got out of the car to threw up. We swore not to tell anyone and neither of us switched teams. But I wasn't playing hard enough for the team. I would get the ball and even when the defense was standing just waiting for me to make my move, I couldn't penetrate. When I finally switch teams I played rock hard. I watched the ball go in and out awhile before I finally got to shoot and boy did that feel good.

    But the other team didn't give up. They swore they could make me play just as hard as the other guys. After being out for six years, I was out drinking with my sister's roommate. She was a beautiful Brazilian model. We somehow ended up in bed and I still felt nothing sexual. That's when I decided to stick with the team that worked for me. There were a few more women who tried to get me to switch back but I kindly explained it wouldn't work.


    Another good analogy. You guys are really creative.icon_biggrin.gif