Coming out to my best friend.

  • Mike17

    Posts: 6

    Jan 09, 2012 9:08 PM GMT
    I'm almost ready to come out to my best friend.

    I was just wondering how some of you guys when about it and if you have any advice for me. Such as how I should tell them or where or anything like that, because I want them to feel as comfortable as possible when I tell them.

    I appreciate it guys, thanks.
  • LaxJock26

    Posts: 36

    Jan 09, 2012 11:05 PM GMT
    For me, I told some friends over coffee, or over skype. You can do it in letter form (how I came out to my dad), where you read a letter you wrote to them (or you can mail it), or whatever feels most comfortable. Make sure you feel comfortable telling them, cause chances are they'll be fine with it, and they'll feel comfortable if you do.

    Best of luck dude!! I know it's scary or nerve-wracking, but you feel better about it afterwards. Let me know how it goes!
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    Jan 09, 2012 11:11 PM GMT
    I was too nervous to do it in person, so I chickened out and texted him. I recommend you do it in person though!
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    Jan 09, 2012 11:25 PM GMT
    yea do it how you feel comfortable to do it, i told my bestfriend over text because he lives in florida, and i live in hawaii, he was hella cool with it, chances are if they are really your bestfriend, they wont care, and say your still my bestfriend/brother/homie whatever they call you haha
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    Jan 09, 2012 11:28 PM GMT
    I am a bad example. I texted the closest ones (the guys at least) when I was drunk. I couldn't make myself say it so I had to suck it up and just do it. Glad I did. Probably should have done it in person but they didn't care. They were just glad I told them.

    Good luck! It is a great feeling being all the way out
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    Jan 09, 2012 11:51 PM GMT
    I worked with my best friend and on his last day of work while we were saying our goodbyes, crying to each other telling ourselves how much we were gonna miss the other, I told him and he was totally cool with it.

    The exact words I used were: "I'm only telling you this because I love you (as a friend) and because I trust you, I'm gay".

    A bit dramatic but I found no other moment to tell him.
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    Jan 09, 2012 11:57 PM GMT
    It's really different for each person I told. The first person i told was one of my really close female friends that was crushing on me. We were in the hottub alone and she kept asking why I was acting weird then in the middle of a random conversation about precipitation I blerted it out. Not the nest way but she was cool with it and we grew closer from it. But I can honestly say it gets easier each person you tell.
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    Jan 10, 2012 12:48 AM GMT
    I got really drunk and decided I just wanted to get it over with, so I dragged my best friend aside and told her. Probably not the best example, but effective icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 10, 2012 12:51 AM GMT
    I told my best mate at the time when I was in my teens. He kinda got weirded out but later was cool with it.

    Now I have close knit of friends and plus recent came out to another very dear and personal friend and she was very supporting. icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 10, 2012 12:59 AM GMT
    very carefully. I came out to him and have not spoken to him since. He thought I ought to try to 'find Jesus'...
  • biggamehunter

    Posts: 87

    Jan 10, 2012 2:08 AM GMT
    I too was a order pizza and get drunk and just say it. It was fine, he already knew because of one night in high school on top of a trailer at night, but that's a different story. He was cool with it. Now my other friend (also on the trailer that said night) still does not believe and thinks we are playing a trick on her, which i can see, I tend to be a shit to the ones I love.

    It does get easier with each person, i think the first 7 people i told were drunk, be careful with this one, I had to come out a few times to the same people because they thought it was just drunk ramblings
  • work2travel

    Posts: 1

    Jan 10, 2012 4:03 AM GMT
    Just be honest to yourself and them, it is all you can do. There will never be the right time or place. be yourself!
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    Jan 10, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    i bet he doesnt even care, so just dnt, no drama for the queen ;)
  • Pr0digy

    Posts: 601

    Jan 10, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    Just flat out say over lunch... "oh,ya know, i like dudes and all..." and top it off by asking how his sandwich tastes.icon_cool.gif
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    Jan 10, 2012 4:28 AM GMT
    Try not to pick a time and place for the big event. Just decide you're going to do it, and then follow through when it feels right to you. Good luck.
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:52 AM GMT
    How is it possible that a best friend does not know you are gay? They are either incredibly stupid of extremely polite.
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:55 AM GMT
    Alpha13 saidHow is it possible that a best friend does not know you are gay? They are either incredibly stupid of extremely polite.


    ...or in DENIAL.

    I literally took my girlfriend to the Castro to unofficially "come out" to her. She still didn't think I was gay. Silly woman.
  • MjHami

    Posts: 2

    Jan 10, 2012 8:48 AM GMT
    The first person I came out to, I came out to over skype (chat not video). I found it was a really awkward and I started freaking out. I felt great for coming out afterwards but it didnt feel genuine. The next day I came out to one of my bestfriends in person and she was so excited and started hugging me.
    I have to say that doing it in person was a much greater feeling than doing it over the internet. icon_smile.gif
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Jan 10, 2012 8:56 AM GMT
    Alpha13 saidHow is it possible that a best friend does not know you are gay? They are either incredibly stupid of extremely polite.

    That would be true if he was in his 30's; but at 17 or 18 (basically high school), and closeted, it is very possible.
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    Jan 10, 2012 9:07 AM GMT
    Alpha13 saidHow is it possible that a best friend does not know you are gay? They are either incredibly stupid of extremely polite.

    Because it's pretty easy to fake.
    My closest friends thought I was kidding with them because I constantly buried it.
  • Trauts

    Posts: 1012

    Jan 10, 2012 10:32 AM GMT
    Ckfeezy said
    Alpha13 saidHow is it possible that a best friend does not know you are gay? They are either incredibly stupid of extremely polite.

    Because it's pretty easy to fake.
    My closest friends thought I was kidding with them because I constantly buried it.


    Haha, I get the same problem! Everytime I tell someone, they keep asking me if I'm joking. -.-

    I told my best friend over FB chat because I was too much of a pussy to do it in person. Ha, but it really does get easier over time. All the best!
  • Mike17

    Posts: 6

    Jan 10, 2012 4:38 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidHow is it possible that a best friend does not know you are gay? They are either incredibly stupid of extremely polite.


    your just ignorant, maybe I don't exactly run around waving a rainbow flag and hitting on him? seriously, its not exactly obvious, other than being interested in guys there's nothing, and i don't mean this in a negative way one bit, stereotypically "gay" about me. i know for a fact he'll be shocked and thats the only reason I'm looking for advice right now. i didn't ask the question just so you could shoot an ignorant comment at me
  • camfer

    Posts: 891

    Jan 10, 2012 4:50 PM GMT
    Another technique is to just start talking about your attractions. Tell them you went on a date with a cute guy. When you're hanging out and see a hot guy, mention it. If you just live your life openly, it becomes pretty pointless to have to state you're into guys, except to the utterly stupid ones. If anyone needs confirmation, they'll ask you for it.
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    Jan 10, 2012 5:11 PM GMT
    I am not ignorant about str8 behavior. It you aren't getting pussy or at least running the bases by 18 or so then you are obviously gay to your friends. Some Str8 Guys may not talk much but girls talk a lot and know who is doing who. Since gay guys I know would never even think of kissing their fag hags then its your own delusion that they don't know. Of course if you are a loner, don't have school friends or a social network or perpetually new in town then you can hide the fact.
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    Jan 10, 2012 5:14 PM GMT
    Matt17 said
    Alpha13 saidHow is it possible that a best friend does not know you are gay? They are either incredibly stupid of extremely polite.


    your just ignorant, maybe I don't exactly run around waving a rainbow flag and hitting on him? seriously, its not exactly obvious, other than being interested in guys there's nothing, and i don't mean this in a negative way one bit, stereotypically "gay" about me. i know for a fact he'll be shocked and thats the only reason I'm looking for advice right now. i didn't ask the question just so you could shoot an ignorant comment at me


    I am not ignorant about str8 behavior. It you aren't getting pussy or at least running the bases by 18 or so then you are obviously gay to your friends. Some Str8 Guys may not talk much but girls talk a lot and know who is doing who. Since gay guys I know would never even think of kissing their fag hags then its your own delusion that they don't know. Of course if you are a loner, don't have school friends or a social network or perpetually new in town then you can hide the fact.