AAHHHH!! Turning 30...

  • benarw

    Posts: 128

    Jan 10, 2012 6:18 AM GMT
    Having a little "I'm about to turn 30 and it's freaking me out" moment. For all those who have passed that landmark, how did you cope? Hahah. Honestly I'm looking forward to my 30s, it just feels like a big step in life. Like now I really have to become an adult. Part of me is ready and open for whatever that means and part of me has a PeterPan complex going on!
    All my friends I'd normally go to to talk this out are sleeping right now, so here I am!
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:31 AM GMT
    Ya, I panicked turning 30 too. However, it's a great age because you are desirable to men in their 20's and 30"s.

    Things started to become more settled in life and I was happy to be at a point where I was no longer trying to get myself established. It really is just a number and more importantly it's how young you feel mentally.

    However, that is easily said rather than practiced in gay society because we place this idea on ourselves that we are aging and ugly after 30. I spent the last half of my 30's dreading turning 40. I only finally became comfortable that concept about 10 months ago.

    We can't stop aging, just embrace it and keep going. Don't try to panic and waste all that energy.
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:33 AM GMT
    OMG you're so old. Ewwww.


    Seriously, don't worry about it.
    Take good care of yourself. It's way better to be a hot 30 than a tragic 22.

    If you really think you're getting old, go celebrate your birthday at Chucky Cheese
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:37 AM GMT
    I thought I really had to become an adult when I turned 20.
    In retrospect it's totally laughable.

    btw you can come celebrate your birthday in my bed if you'd like. icon_surprised.gif
  • benarw

    Posts: 128

    Jan 10, 2012 6:57 AM GMT
    Hahah. Thanks guys! After a really shitty couple of years I'm actually in a really good place in life as I near 30, so hopefully this will lead to bigger and better things. I didn't even bother celebrating turning 29 cause I was in such a bad state at the time.

    Currently have a new job I enjoy, a new man I'm enjoying getting to know, and good friends and family to keep me sane. My older friends all say their 30s were actually the best years, so here's hoping.
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    Jan 10, 2012 2:04 PM GMT
    Dude, the best stuff has been happening to me in my thirties!
    I suggest you just embrace it and be happy!
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    Jan 10, 2012 2:16 PM GMT
    Just turned thirty in November and it really wasn't that big of a deal. If you've had a bad few years, maybe you can look at it as a new decade and a fresh start to help make it easier on yourself.
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    Jan 10, 2012 2:17 PM GMT
    Better than the 20's I swear. Everybody knows this icon_biggrin.gif
  • benarw

    Posts: 128

    Jan 10, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    Thanks guys. Was having a momentary freak out last night. Feeling confident and happy this morning. Hopefully my mind will stay this way.

    Any recommendations for things I should do/try once I'm a more official adult? lol
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    Jan 10, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    Better to be early 30's than late 20's! It's all how you look at it. I'm trying to prep myself for the 70's with this attitude!
  • benarw

    Posts: 128

    Jan 10, 2012 2:23 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidYou're Fucked Now.


    Hahahah! Thank for that! icon_twisted.gif
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    Jan 10, 2012 2:23 PM GMT
    30 is a breeze, i'll be 45 in 2 weeks icon_smile.gif enjoy it!!
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    Jan 10, 2012 2:30 PM GMT
    benarw said
    AMoonHawk saidYou're Fucked Now.


    Hahahah! Thank for that! icon_twisted.gif


    If you're lucky then that's what it will amount to icon_wink.gif
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Jan 10, 2012 2:39 PM GMT
    I was very reflective when I turned thirty, not because I wore shiny clothes, but because I was thinking about all the things I'd thought I should have accomplished by then, and hadn't.
    My thirties were great, turning 40 wasn't so bad, turning 50 was shitty.
    Now I'm old. Damn.
    Enjoy your 30's. Young enough to attract the guys in their 20s, old enough to to be attactive to guys in their 40s.
    Stay away from the guys in their 50s and up - they're just old pervs trying to make up for lost time while their penis still works.
    H.fuckin' B.D.!
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    Jan 10, 2012 2:44 PM GMT
    I'm turning 29 this year....Go figure....
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    Jan 10, 2012 3:14 PM GMT
    You become a man in your 30's, dont sweat it
  • SurfInVa

    Posts: 38

    Jan 10, 2012 3:18 PM GMT
    I cannot stress this enough buddy....it...is...just...a...number. You always have been, and always will be, as old as you feel and as old as you "think".

    I, myself, have had a few ups and downs and even at 17 and a few times in my 20's, I felt like I was 100. I let friends of mine, who happen to be gay guys, scare me about turning 30 when I was 17 years old. They basically stated that they knew they'd commit suicide before they turned 30. "Why?", I asked. Their answer was that in "gay years" that age was the beginning of "old" and no longer young, beautiful and attractive to the guys they were attracted to. So, basically a bunch of bullshit that fooled me for a year or two and I fretted about it, convinced that I had 13 years of living THE LIFE left.

    To this day, I have more days that the 17yo in me is there and feeling like he can do anything and looking as good as he ever has, than I do feeling old. Granted, even when you take the best care of yourself, things age, but I treat it sort of as a reminder to slow down "just a tiny bit" and smell the roses...take time to enjoy what you've done, where you've been and where you're going and what you're going to do. Sort of like a scar from a childhood injury...sometimes its good to stop and look at it and remember ALL the shit you've done and been through and realize you are still here and going strong. It's pretty empowering buddy.

    By the way, I'm 51, soon to be 52 in a few months and the 17yo in me is still here going strong. Live life and fuck the numbers. And as a side note, those that want you or don't want you, based on your age and not on the simple fact that they are attracted to you, really are not worth having in your life anyway.

    OH! and....DRINK LOTS OF WATER...IT IS the REAL Fountain of Youth you've heard rumors about.
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    Jan 10, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    What, you mean there was life before 30s?
    : D

    Chill, the ride gets better with each decade (granted 50 kinda scares me).
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    Jan 10, 2012 3:21 PM GMT
    30 is nothing... it's another day, another birthday.

    it's when you are 31.. then YOU ARE IN YOUR 30's!

    Cheers mate!
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    Jan 10, 2012 3:27 PM GMT
    I turned 30 this year and will soon be 31. Didn't really change my life. But, I did notice that it's a bit easier to put on some mass as I get older.
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    Jan 10, 2012 3:42 PM GMT
    benarw saidHaving a little "I'm about to turn 30 and it's freaking me out" moment. For all those who have passed that landmark, how did you cope? Hahah. Honestly I'm looking forward to my 30s, it just feels like a big step in life. Like now I really have to become an adult. Part of me is ready and open for whatever that means and part of me has a PeterPan complex going on!


    I was having too much fun and completely missed 30. Didn't notice until a few years later. Now I have no idea how old I am and have to recount each time I question it. The answer's always depressing so I don't think about it much. Sometimes it is better not to question such things.

    If you've a PeterPan complex* it's a long flight home. Just soap up your shadow** but never sew it on. It may be off-putting to more mature others, it may even interfere with accomplishing goals, so keep it in check, but there's a life affirming, youthful quality about keeping your childhood which makes the trouble of it worthwhile.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puer_aeternus

    *Peter Pan syndrome is a pop-psychology term used to describe an adult who is socially immature. The term has been used informally by both laypeople and some psychology professionals in popular psychology since the 1983 publication of The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men Who Have Never Grown Up, by Dr. Dan Kiley. (Kiley also wrote a companion book, The Wendy Dilemma, published in 1984.) It is not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, and is not recognized by the American Psychiatric Association as a specific mental disorder.

    **The shadow of the puer is the senex (Latin for "old man"), associated with the god Apollo—disciplined, controlled, responsible, rational, ordered. Conversely, the shadow of the senex is the puer, related to Dionysus—unbounded instinct, disorder, intoxication, whimsy
  • benarw

    Posts: 128

    Jan 10, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    I didn't mean Peter Pan complex in that strict a way. Wanting to remain a child isn't my issue, it's just an irrational fear of life moving too fast. Though gotta admit, I'm loving every minute of it!
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    Jan 10, 2012 3:56 PM GMT
    Nobody loves every minute of life. That's just being pretentious.

    No being pretentious around here.
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    Jan 10, 2012 3:56 PM GMT
    benarw saidI didn't mean Peter Pan complex in that strict a way. Wanting to remain a child isn't my issue, it's just an irrational fear of life moving too fast. Though gotta admit, I'm loving every minute of it!


    If you think it fast now, just wait until you hit 50. It freaking flies.

    Though I've never had the sense of not enough time in life. I know a lot of people have that as I've heard them mention and I never related to it. So while I'm living in time, I think I've all the time in the world. But now in my 50s, when I look back, 30 was yesterday.
  • benarw

    Posts: 128

    Jan 10, 2012 4:01 PM GMT
    Thanks for all the comments guys. At least for the moment I'm done freaking out. Though I'm sure it'll come and go. Less than a week and a half till I turn 30...yikes!