Abusive relationship, was I lucky to escape unharmed?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2012 5:35 PM GMT
    I ended this relationship a while ago and never want to contact him again. But looking back what hurts me most out of all the other things he did was, when he asked me in his kitchen if i was into guys, and i told him that I was into him, he had a knife in his hand and pointed it at me and held a straight face, then he smashed the jar of a can near him.

    This is all in the past but this and another incident when he lifted a chair and wanted to smash it over my head because he said I was gay has left a scar in my mind.

    I want to forget all this, will these memories fade away with time? He never once apologized and went on verbally abusing me until I ended it.

  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Jan 10, 2012 5:50 PM GMT
    Was this a friend of yours? He showed violent tendencies. How did he act before he knew you were gay? Generally violent people have always been violent. I don't know about luck, but it was a good decision from you to let him go.
  • Trepeat

    Posts: 546

    Jan 10, 2012 5:53 PM GMT
    Don't expect to forget them, or for the hurt that you experienced to ever became meaningless to you. Rather, embrace your memories, focus on what you learned from them, and go into the future seeking positive new experiences to fill your life with. Your memories won't go away, but eventually your head will be filled with all the joy you've since accumulated, which will serve as a nice buffer between you and pains of your past.
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    Jan 10, 2012 5:54 PM GMT
    He always asked if i was gay and knew i had feelings for him, but i did not know if he was gay or bi, but i am pretty sure he had feelings for me too. It was the first time i stayed a few days with him, we were long distance and he was ok online, except a lot of gay name calling that he did. Stupid me for having gone to his home. I just don't want ever to face another person who is verbally abusive or possibly physically too.

    A friend told me had I had sex with him, he would have become violent with me anyways and kicked me out, etc..
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:04 PM GMT
    Sounds like a gay person with internalized homophobia and he was taking it out on you. Sad.
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:08 PM GMT
    Yes your very correct. Part of me still loves him for the reason I fell for him other than all the negative stuff and from time to time it hurts. He has also tried a few times to contact me indirectly, once forwarding an email that i send him before i visited him, talking about how much I liked him, but I ignored that too. (he just forwarded back to me saying look what I found). Now it is 4 months since I stop all contact. He goes on my website now and then knowing that I track who visits it.
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:21 PM GMT
    I don't get it. Was he your boyfriend or not?
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:25 PM GMT
    a friend. How can it be a boyfriend when it was long distance.
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:29 PM GMT
    Got confused by the relationship part as well, you were not in one really nor were you thinking of one...how did you meet this guy anyways if he was non online or anything. The whole thing does not make a lot of sense.

    Don't talk to this guy ever again and delete him out of your life the best you can.
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:31 PM GMT
    I meet him online for business related work and i became his mentor and later became friends. Online we both became really good friends at times spending 6 hours a day chatting, later i decided to travel to his country and visit this is where things turned the wrong direction. I think he was expecting me to make a pass and I did not, being afraid of his reaction and being in a foreign country.

    Anyways the pain is there at times, that was my question, if it will ever go away and it will not, specially i repeatedly told him that he is hurting me by calling me names and he never apologized but rather did more to hurt me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:35 PM GMT
    Just don't expect a Beauty and the Beast situation to occur. You did the right thing to distance yourself because, in real life, that abuse would likely result in your physical/emotional injury or death.
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:46 PM GMT
    My ex did the same thing when I didn't call him sir.


    Edit: I shouldn't make light of domestic abuse though... never tolerate verbal/physical abuse.
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    Jan 10, 2012 6:49 PM GMT
    To the OP: You are a big FAIL. I'm not the only one here confused about your "relationship". You seem to be ambiguous at best with details.

    And for the record, yes you can have a BF and be in a long distance relationship too. Weren't you the one who posted a thread about falling in love with someone online? You acted like my question was sooooo out of line when it was not.

    And finally you are a middle aged man with daddy issues. I have seen your posts on RJ before and TBH, you seem to behave more like a 19 year old. Get your shit together man....


    25616_1222756691158_1296205571_30539495_


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2012 7:06 PM GMT
    @jmusmc85 your a perfect example of an abuser.
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    Jan 10, 2012 7:12 PM GMT
    graphicb said@jmusmc85 your a perfect example of an abuser.


    Fuck you Fuckface. No wonder why he wants to hit you, you are an idiot.

    And why would you let someone treat you that way to begin with? If he's not your bf, what are you doing around him?

    There are just so many holes in your story.You constantly come on RJ with your man troubles, you really need Dr. Phil. And thanks for calling me an abuser, but so far it looks like everything I said was right....


    drphilyouneedf------helpfunnypicforsite_
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2012 8:32 PM GMT
    Burt_Ernie.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2012 8:33 PM GMT
    graphicb said@jmusmc85 your a perfect example of an abuser.


    O_o

    He is?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2012 8:37 PM GMT
    too fucking funny! icon_lol.gif

    jmusmc85 said


    25616_1222756691158_1296205571_30539495_


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2012 8:40 PM GMT
    credo said
    graphicb said@jmusmc85 your a perfect example of an abuser.


    O_o

    He is?


    Who knew? He couldn't think of any effective comebacks against me so this is the best if could come up with...icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2012 10:59 PM GMT
    graphicb saidI ended this relationship a while ago and never want to contact him again. But looking back what hurts me most out of all the other things he did was, when he asked me in his kitchen if i was into guys, and i told him that I was into him, he had a knife in his hand and pointed it at me and held a straight face, then he smashed the jar of a can near him.

    This is all in the past but this and another incident when he lifted a chair and wanted to smash it over my head because he said I was gay has left a scar in my mind.

    I want to forget all this, will these memories fade away with time? He never once apologized and went on verbally abusing me until I ended it.



    I swear, you guys make this shit up. I refuse to believe there are so many dysfunctional asses walking around.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2012 12:44 AM GMT
    MadeNUSA said
    graphicb saidI ended this relationship a while ago and never want to contact him again. But looking back what hurts me most out of all the other things he did was, when he asked me in his kitchen if i was into guys, and i told him that I was into him, he had a knife in his hand and pointed it at me and held a straight face, then he smashed the jar of a can near him.

    This is all in the past but this and another incident when he lifted a chair and wanted to smash it over my head because he said I was gay has left a scar in my mind.

    I want to forget all this, will these memories fade away with time? He never once apologized and went on verbally abusing me until I ended it.



    I swear, you guys make this shit up. I refuse to believe there are so many dysfunctional asses walking around.


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